Nine Magic Fingers

Two and a Half Men 9×4

& Berta: Got to tell you, Zip, I can see why your brother couldn’t get you out of this house with the jaws of life. Malibu is the greatest place to wake up in the morning.
    Alan: I’m glad you’re enjoying my room.
    Berta: Alan, I say this with love... It was never your room.

& Alan: So, uh, how’s things? How’s Eldridge?
    Lyndsey: Let’s not ruin the evening by talking about our children...

& Lyndsey: You must be Walden. I’m Lyndsey.
    Walden: Oh. Hi.
    Alan: Okay, uh, everybody’s met. Time to hit the old sackaroo.

---

& Jake: Hey, Courtney.
    Courtney: Jake, it’s so good to see you.
    Jake: You, too...
    Courtney: Oh, you’ve grown!
    Jake: No, that’s just my cell phone.

& Alan: Oh, thanks for coming, Bridget.
    Bridget: Well, you said Walden was in trouble.
    Courtney: Hi, I’m the trouble Walden’s been in. Repeatedly.
    Alan: Uh, Courtney, this is Walden’s wife Bridget. Bridget, this is the “lad” I was telling you about.

& Bridget: Courtney, do you think that your deep feelings for my husband can in any way be affected by a cashier’s check for $50,000?
    Courtney: $50,000? You actually think that you can buy me off?
    Bridget: Your real name is Sylvia Fishman and you’re wanted in three states for fraud, forgery and money laundering.
    Courtney: Bye, Walden. It was fun.
    Walden: Aw, darn. I was really looking forward to more diggity.
    Alan: If Bridget will write me a check like that, I’ll diggity your brains out. I’ll diggity you for free.

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