My Name Is Earl 3x21

Camdenites

Season 3, Episode 21

& Billie: How many tissues you got there?
   Earl: Two.
   Billie: How many times you gonna blow your nose?
   Earl: One.
   Billie: You might want to check your math, Mr. Rockefeller.


& Earl: I don't get it, Randy. I just don't get it. Why would karma want me to be with a woman who's driving me crazy?
   Randy: You should just cut her head off like that King of England dude, or the guy who used to live downstairs.
   Earl: It's not that easy. Billie's supposed to be my reward. Karma brought her into my life to show me that I was doing things right. You don't return a gift like that.
   Randy: You do if she makes you sleep outside. I got sprayed by a cat last night. Which is a lie... it wasn't a cat. It was a grown man. I was too embarrassed to say that.


& Joy: Darnell, are you showing Earl your poetry books?
   Darnell: Uh, yeah, we were having a poetry slam.
   Joy: Let me read one. ... "Today she hit a new low. Got mad cooking dinner and threw the chicken on the lawn. Once again, I see why everyone in our trailer park despises her and wishes we would move." That's a terrible poem, Darnell. It don't even rhyme. Hey! Remember that time I threw that chicken on the lawn?.. You should write a poem about that, but make it rhyme.
   Darnell: Did you pee a little?
   Earl: Yep.
   Darnell: Me, too.

---

& Earl: I knew then that Dad didn't just happen to miss certain things with my mom, he avoided them on purpose. He threw himself into his job to make his marriage work. It hit me that I needed to do the same...


& Earl: Karma's mystery was getting deeper. I was doing the list to get away from my nightmare of a wife, only to have karma stick me with my nightmare of an ex-wife.
   Joy: Then I gonna take my foot out, and put it back in again. Deeper!


& Billie: Look, Earl, I'm sorry I've been a little stingy with you. It's our money. Here's an ATM card, so you don't have to ask me for it anymore. Oh, there's a special card you have to put in. And... I got you your own box of tissues. You should be able to decide how many you need.
   Earl: Well, thanks.
   Billie: I'll be right back.
   Earl: I don't get it. She was terrible and now she's nice. What's Karma trying to tell me?
   Randy: It's so obvious, Earl. If you pick up a trailer for one lady you pissed off and you hop around for another lady you pissed off, then your annoying wife will give you a box of tissues. I think the ATM card is just random.


On Imdb.