Misfits

Episode #1.1

& Kelly: I feel really weird.
   Curtis: That'll be the lightning.


& Kelly: Good boy. Who's a little baby? You're my little man, are you? Cutie, cutie, my little cutie.
   Keith the Dog: You dirty bitch. I've been licking my bollocks. Who are you fucking winking at? I'm going to shag* that poodle next door, she's proper dirty.


& Nathan: Hey, Adam, how's tricks, how's the herpes? ... All right, calm down, it's a joke.


& Kelly: You know after the storm, did any of yous feel like dead weird?
   Nathan: Yeah. I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.

---

& Alisha: Do want to know what I got done for?
   Nathan: Not really.
   Alisha: Me and my mate, Chloe, were having cocktails in this bar, yeah. And she's hassling* me, cos she wants to go to this party. Chloe is on one, because she thinks Jack is doing Lucy. A total slut fuck. So we get in my car. I drive us to the party. We go into one of the rooms, yeah. Jack's not doing Lucy, he's doing Ellie. She is a proper slut. Chloe freaks. I'm driving us back into town. Chloe's all like, "Oh I feel sick." I'm like, "Don't puke in my car, do-not-puke in my car." That's when the police pull us over. I'm already banned from driving, so I am like, "Fuck." This cop, yeah, he hands me the breathalyser. And I'm like... "Do I suck, or blow?" It's insane, I'm totally working it. ... Now, I don't know if this cop is gay or what, but he tells me I'm four times over the limit. It's bullshit. I didn't even want to go to the party.


& Kelly: If you call me a chav one more time, I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it.
   Nathan: 'Her mum will feel it' — how does that work?


& Alisha: The probation worker's gone mental. Maybe he's on crystal meth. That stuff makes you crazy. My friend Chloe did it, she nearly shagged her brother. And he's really ugly.


& Curtis: I've got to have sex with you right now. Let's go, let's do it now. You're so hot! I'm gonna bone you, I'm gonna shag you senseless! ... What did I do?
   Simon: It's when you were touching her. I'm so hard for you! I want to rip your clothes off and piss on your tits.


& Nathan: There's no going back now, man. You were just as screwed as the rest of us. You are black AND famous. You are probably more screwed.
   Curtis: I shouldn't even be here.


& Nathan: Didn't you say you wanted to piss on her tits? Probably best to keep that kind of thing between you and your internet service provider.


& Simon: Maybe you can do something, you just haven't found out what it is yet.
   Nathan: Yeah, right. What if I can't feel pain?.. Ow! Stop hitting me!


& Nathan: I was there. I should have one of these bullshit powers.
   Kelly: You can have mine. You want to hear what people are thinking about you?
   Nathan: Not so much. I want something good, something from the A-list.
   Simon: Maybe you can fly...


& Simon: What if we are meant to be, like... superheroes?
   Nathan: You lot, superheroes? No offense, but in what kind of fucked-up world would that be allowed to happen? {...} Superheroes! I love this guy - you prick!
   Kelly: What if there's loads of people like us all over town?
   Nathan: No, that kind of thing only happens in America.


& Nathan: This will fade away. I'm telling you, by this time next week,



-- Dict:
shag — трахать
hassle — надоедать; спорить; ссориться; докучать


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