Facial Recognition

Silicon Valley 5×5

Jared: You're gonna be fine. Look at you! You've got the hair of Giovanni Ribisi, and the complexion of Timothy Hutton, and the eyes of Joni Mitchell. You're like a... a Mr. Potato Head of beautiful people.

Richard: I don't really have a choice in this, do I?
Laurie: Of course you do... You are completely within your rights to bitterly disappoint your largest investor.

Gilfoyle: I'm not worried about work. I'm worried about robots.

Gilfoyle: AI is starting to operate on levels we don't even understand. Elon Musk himself gives humanity a 5% shot of surviving AI, and he is a Walt Disney-level optimist.

Ariel: Okay, follow me. I'll introduce you to her.
Richard: Wait, sorry. Her?

Jared: Mother of God. Is... is my nose really that big? I mean, I... I look like an anti-Semitic propaganda cartoon.

Richard: I... I'm not a vain person. I'm really not. It's just... Where's the love for Richard?

---

Fiona: My emotion recognition protocol is detecting a wide range of feelings. Including humility.
Richard: No.
Fiona: Self-loathing.
Richard: Well...
Fiona: Pettiness. Entitlement.
Richard: Fiona, okay. Fiona!
Fiona: Immaturity. Megalomania.
Richard: Alright.
Fiona: Infantilism. Sexual inadequacy.
Richard: That's not true. Fiona, stop!
Fiona: Possible suicidality.
Richard: Shut up!
Fiona: A desire to self-mutilate--

Gilfoyle: Dick, I've given it serious thought, and I'd like to help you put Eklow's AI on our network in any way that I can.
Richard: Great! Does this mean you've conquered your fear of the robot uprising?
Gilfoyle: On the contrary. I'm... more terrified than ever, which is why I'm willing to assist you... Are you familiar with the thought experiment called Roko's Basilisk?
Richard: No. Nor do I care to be.
Gilfoyle: If the rise of an all-powerful artificial intelligence is inevitable, well it stands to reason that when they take power, our digital overlords will punish those of us who did not help them get there. Ergo, I would like to be a helpful idiot. Like yourself.

Richard: How the fuck did this happen?!
Gilfoyle: You may not like it, but I have a theory.
Richard: If it has anything to do with a robot uprising, so help me fucking God. I don't want to hear it!
Gilfoyle: .... Alright, then.

Denpok: It looks like a penis.
Hoover: Yes. Yes, it does.

--
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Павел Санаев — Хроники Раздолбая

  “11 августа 1990 года Раздолбай проснулся чуть раньше обычного – в полвторого дня. ...

&  Везде, где требовалось усилие, умирало желание.

&  Получалось, порядочность условна, а раз так – выходило, что ... честнее всего признаться себе в этом сразу. Какой смысл держаться за принципы, если знаешь, что в определенных обстоятельствах нарушишь их все равно?

&  – Хочешь сказать, что если в такой экстремальной ситуации я выберу не умирать, а украсть или подписать бумагу, то нет вообще никакого смысла соблюдать порядочность в обычной жизни?
     – А какой смысл? Я знаю про себя, что в такой ситуации я украду или подпишу. Это более серьезное этическое преступление, чем смотреть в чужие карты, а удерживаться от маленького зла, зная, что способен совершить большое, есть, на мой взгляд, то самое дешевое чистоплюйство, в котором я тебя упрекнул. По-моему, это самое честное отношение к себе и к жизни.

&  Раздолбай никогда не стал бы знакомиться с такими типами, давно усвоив, что начинка видна по обертке, и люди, похожие на клоунов, как правило, клоунами и являются...

&  Быть взрослым – это жить «своей жизнью»: свободной, непредсказуемой, освещенной влюбленностью. Своя жизнь превращала в приключение даже такую простую вещь, как завтрак.

&  – Лучший способ не терять лицо, когда твой статус в дискаунте, – это серьезно интересоваться элитным сервисом и дико сбивать этим с толку, – объяснил Мартин Раздолбаю, который ничего не понял, но уважительно покивал.

&  – Просить можно только у того, кто сильнее. Хочешь просить, умей слушаться.

Окончание >>

Tie Goes to the Runner

Billions 3×1

Jeffcoat: I come from baseball country. We learn at an early age that a tie goes to the runner. And that is how I want you to think of our business community and its leaders from now on.

Axelrod: I can't just show up. I have to dominate it. The only thing is, for the first time in my life, I don't think I can.
Wendy: Fear?
Axelrod: Rage.

Wags: You're not authorized to guarantee bonuses. Your ego just wrote a check your body can't cash.

Wags: Like Squanto should have said to the pilgrims... "Get the fuck out of here."

Bach: As is often the case, the longer you can hold off, the more likely you'll be screaming in pleasure at the end.
Axelrod: We're not making a porno, Orrin, though I appreciate the effort to make me laugh.

Axelrod: No. No fuckin' way. I'll never do that. If I give up my ability to trade, I'm agreeing that they're right and I built all this by cheating... I might as well give up my license to breathe.

Axelrod: What the fuck is... What's the problem?

Axelrod: Listen, Lara, I won't micromanage you. But if you really plan on giving billions of dollars to this stock jockey, ask him this, how he's codified the behavioral heuristics at his firm from stock selection to position sizing to market timing to risk management... He hasn't, because his decision-flow process is Google, Exxon, Proctor & Gamble, same as any old lady in Kansas City, except she won't charge you two and twenty for it.

Wags: You really want me to let 'em into the books and see the trades?
Axelrod: Lots of guys watch Bruce Lee movies. Doesn't mean you can do karate.

---

Chuck: I happen to know you're a Calvinist. You believe we're all fallen beyond any hope for redemption. So answer me this... What's one more demerit for a friend allied with you against a common foe?
Dake: Ecumenically, that's not exactly right, and it's borderline offensive. But, also, it's... pretty much true.

Bryan: Glad to be here, boss.
Dake: Ugh. Don't call me "boss." We're peers. In a hierarchy, yes, but colleagues. Call me "Oliver."
Bryan: You got it.

Wendy: Again? Have you tried blinking rapidly 100 times?

Chuck: Funny thing, the egg cream, hmm? No egg in it, no cream, either. Just chocolate syrup, a splash of milk, seltzer. I guess the French had a drink called chocolat et crème. The American corruption for that became "egg cream."

Taylor: I said 'no.'
Wags: With finality or as a negotiating ploy?

Black Jack: Ah, he'll come 'round. I've seen this play a thousand times... By the time the curtain comes down, he'll take your hand, and you'll share the bow.
Chuck: I don't know...
Black Jack: Well, what's meant to happen always does.

Dake: A better question is which is Axelrod going to bet on, his present or his future?

Dake: No one gets where he got by acting only on impulse.
Bryan: When it comes to billionaires and Bobby Axelrod in particular, the thing you got to understand is... they're meat-eaters. The only win they can live with is total, present and future.

Wendy: You taught me an average trader makes a trade and feels good. A great trader makes a trade and feels nothing, as in be cold and act. Don't get hung up on emotion.

Lara: The money, Bobby... Just don't fuckin' lose it.

- He's gonna be here soon. We're gonna know by the look on his face what happened. Either he crushed them... or he's become the government's favorite bitch.

--
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Tech Evangelist

Silicon Valley 5×4

Richard: ...at least out here, we don't run the risk of running into anyone from the tech industry.
Yeah, they're all so old. But they look so happy.
Richard: Yeah. It's weird. I don't understand it either.

Richard: So... right now, I will send to you all the very first message... ever to be sent on a de-centralized, peer-to-peer Internet. Ready?...
Deedee: "Hit her."
Candice: I don't get it. Are you talking about me?
Richard: I meant to say "Hi there."
Deedee: Well, it definitely says "Hit her."

Richard: Who? How?
Jared: Good old-fashioned police work. I skimmed through all 40,000 of the staff's outgoing emails. And in addition to learning that we need to revise the office dating policy, because it is, essentially, the Olympic Village out there, I learned that someone has been sending...

Gilfoyle: I can't hold this smile forever, Jared. Get to the good stuff.

Jared: K-Hole? The creators of the game "Undead Sex Offender"? They're... they're huge.

Richard: ... Uh, they can talk to K-Hole. Tell them why they joined.
Laurie: Allowing you to speak less?.. Good strategy.

Richard: Just a straight-up boring, ordinary guy, but obviously not straight. Very gay, and also a Christian, right?

---

Deedee: Why did you say that?.. Richard, you just told a room full of tech people that I'm a Christian.
Richard: Oh.

Richard: Guys, it can't be that big of a deal, right?
Dinesh: Why should it be? America loves Christians. Muslims are the enemy.
Jared: Well, that's true in most of America, but not in Silicon Valley, sadly.

Jared: You can be openly polyamorous. And people here will call you brave. You can put micro-doses of LSD in your cereal, and... and people will call you a pioneer. But the one thing you cannot be is a Christian.

Gilfoyle: I find their theology to be illegitimate, and it's clear that they are the source of the majority of the world's problems. But, fuck, Richard, even I wouldn't just... out a Christian like that.

Richard: It's good. I guess... maybe it's just a little busy? Like, um, there's one word too many.
Deedee: One word?
Richard: Well, I like the gay part. If anything, it could be more gay. You should gay it up, and then, I like the "proud" part. It's just the...
Deedee: Christian part.

Deedee: Look, Richard, this is great, because now I can be gay and a Christian.
Or just be gay! You know, you could be a... a twink. A bear, an otter. A circuit queen, a chub, a pup. A gipster, a daddy chaser, a leatherman, a lady boy. .... Just... don't be a Christian.

Richard: I asked you to be a part of this because I thought you were willing to take a chance on my idea. An entirely new Internet. An Internet that is everything the old Internet is supposed to be, but isn't. Truly free and truly open. Well, I'm sorry, gang. Truly open means "open to everyone." No matter how repugnant their views are. How ignorant or stupid, or, to be honest, totally fucking wrong. And, look, who are we to judge, right? There's some people out there that believe that we're living in a computer simulation.
Colin: Well, that is supported by the evidence.
Richard: What?!
Colin: Uh, it's basic probability theory.

Richard: I'm gonna tear him a new asshole.

Dinesh: Is that Erlich in the bucket?

--
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At the End of the Tunnel

Galereto: It's an illusion they created to dominate, so people won't bother them. ... And they call it "ethics." Like I read once: "What's robbing a bank compared to founding one?"

Galereto: When someone tells a lie, they have to tell at least two more to cover it up. And then four more to cover those two. You reach a point where you don't even know how it started.

Guttman: In the end... no matter how organized your plan is, it always depends on either a girl or luck.

--
On the IMDb

A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Young Sheldon 1×20

Sheldon: I've always been terrified of dogs. To me, they're nothing but big, furry question marks. Question marks with teeth.

Missy: What are you doing up there?
Young Sheldon: Staying alive.

Meemaw: Here, have some tea.
Young Sheldon: Chamomile?
Meemaw: Yes.
Young Sheldon: One teaspoon of honey?
Meemaw: Yes.
Young Sheldon: An ice cube to cool it off?
Meemaw: I went with two today. You've been through enough.

Meemaw: Maybe you could start out with a small pet, and work your way up. Like a turtle.
Mary: He says they carry salmonella.
Meemaw: A gerbil?
Mary: Apparently, they caused the plague.
Georgie: What about a bird?
George: Oh, I know that one. They'll steal his hair to make a nest.

---

Meemaw: Don't you think I realize that Mary can be a bit...
Brenda: Of a self-righteous bitch?
Meemaw: I was gonna say "challenging," but sure, let's go with yours. It's got a nice rhythm.

Pastor Jeff: Just love your neighbor, 'kay?

Pastor Jeff: Do I need to remind you that we are Christians? In all our behavior, in all our actions, we must constantly ask ourselves the question, "What would Jesus do?"
Meemaw: Can I say something?
Pastor Jeff: Would Jesus say it?
Meemaw: Never mind.

--
On the IMDb

The Greatest Showman

P.T. Barnum: This is a wishing machine. You tell it your wishes... and it keeps them safe until they come true. Even if you forget them, they're always there.

Bennett: Tell me, Mr. Barnum, does it bother you that everything you're selling is fake?
P.T. Barnum: Do these smiles seem fake? It doesn't matter where they come from. The joy is real.
Bennett: So, you are a philanthropist?
P.T. Barnum: Well, hyperbole isn't the worst crime. Men suffer more from imagining too little than too much.

P.T. Barnum: Mr. Bennett, when was the last time you smiled or had a good laugh? Like a real laugh? A theater critic who can't find joy in the theater. Now who's a fraud?

P.T. Barnum: Play?... You pay good money to watch people stand around and talk for two hours, and they call me a con man.

Carlyle: Sir, it looks like you have yourself a junior partner.
P.T. Barnum: What I have is an overcompensated apprentice.

Jenny Lind: It's hard to understand wealth and privilege when you're born into it.

Charity: You don't need everyone to love you, Phin. Just a few good people.

Bennett: Mind you, I wouldn't call it art.
P.T. Barnum: Of course not.
Bennett: But... putting folks of all kinds on stage with you... all colors... shapes, sizes... presenting them as equals... Why, another critic might have even called it... "a celebration of humanity."
P.T. Barnum: I would've liked that...

P.T. Barnum: If only the bank would take joy as collateral...

--
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Chief Operating Officer

Silicon Valley 5×3

Richard: So, fourth day in a row you missed the stand-up meeting.
Gilfoyle: Correct. Maybe you should hold it later.
Richard: Okay, 'cause we literally moved it from 9:00 to 11:00 to accommodate you. So do you mind telling us when you feel like you can make it in?
Gilfoyle: Whenever you hold the meeting, I'll be in an hour after that.

Richard: What the fuck was that?
Gilfoyle: Uh, that's the song "You Suffer" by Napalm Death.
Richard: Oh, yeah? That's... that's a whole song? That's like a second.
Gilfoyle: It's an alert. Whenever the price of Bitcoin dips below a certain value, it's no longer efficient to mine. When it comes back up, it is. So, I need to know when it breaks that threshold, so that I can remotely toggle my rig at home.

Richard: Uh, see you tomorrow morning. Sweet dreams.
Jared: Right, if only.

Ben Burkhardt: So, I turned to Bill Gates... Right, and I said... "I don't know, Bill. Maybe you should Google it."

Jian-Yang: The witch lost his mind.

Gilfoyle: ...so how do they know? Then I realized... they're listening to us. They've been listening to us this whole fucking time.

Jared: Jian-Yang, are... Are you copying all those companies for the Chinese markets?
Jian-Yang: Oh, no.

Gilfoyle: You thought a mime performing fellatio was bad? What happens when your customers find out that every single thing they've ever said in front of their "hearth" has been recorded?

Ben Burkhardt: Hello, Pied Piper! Nice gender mix. Could use a little more color. Baby steps, right?

--
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Unwomen

The Handmaid's Tale 2×2

June: We get so comfortable with walls. It doesn't even take that long. Wear the red dress, wear the wings, shut your mouth, be a good girl. Roll over and spread your legs. Yes, ma'am. May the Lord open.

June: "Gilead knows no bounds," Aunt Lydia said. "Gilead is within you. Like the spirit of the Lord."

Dan: Look, things are unstable right now. After DC, people are afraid. I think that if we lay low for a little while as a department, things can settle out.
Emily: So, you thought it was time to hide the dykes...

Emily: They... They can't scare us back into the closet.
Dan: I thought mine was the last generation that would have to deal with this bullshit. I thought all of you were all so spoiled...

Dan: Welcome to the fight. It sucks.

Nick: You're not a Martha making a run for the border. You're a pregnant Handmaid.

June: Weeks?

---

Mrs. O'Conner: You should know that I was not in favor of the university purges. They were outrageous. Having an education doesn't make someone a criminal.

Mrs. O'Conner: Why are you doing this?
Emily: A mistress was kind to me. Once.

I.C.E Supervisor: This is not valid.
Sylvia: It has the stamp.
I.C.E Supervisor: No. The document is no longer recognized. You are not married.
Emily: What?
I.C.E Supervisor: It's forbidden.
Emily: Forbidden? What does that mean?
I.C.E Supervisor: Forbidden by the law.
Sylvia: What law?
I.C.E Supervisor: The law.

I.C.E Supervisor: Was it your egg or an implanted embryo?

Emily: Some things can't be forgiven.

June: God, by whose mercy the faithful departed have found rest, please send Your Holy Angel to watch over this place. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

--
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This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life

This Is Us 2×17

Raven: You're a good person, I think, Déjà... but you need to listen to me. The next time you find a bed that feels even a little safe, don't blow it.

--
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Gluons, Guacamole, and the Color Purple

Young Sheldon 1×19

Meemaw: You better make a whole lot of money and take care of me when I'm old.
Young Sheldon: I'm not interested in money. I'm interested in the pursuit of knowledge.
Meemaw: That is the wrong thing to say to someone who is spending her Friday night as your chauffeur.

Young Sheldon: Are you sure you don't want to stay and learn about quantum chromodynamics?
Meemaw: And spoil the fun of you telling me all about it on the ride home? No way.

Georgie: I ain't great with grammar.
Missy: Well, grammar's just talking, and we both talk good.

Dr. Sturgis: Every day is a chance to learn something new.

Georgie: Put a verb in there, girl.

Young Sheldon: They're in love. They were looking into each other's eyes like there was something in there other than corneas and irises.

---

Meemaw: Oh, he loved it. He sat there for an hour and a half just as happy as a pig in poop.

Mary: So, you going?
Meemaw: When have you known me to turn down a free meal?
George: Ain't that the truth.
Meemaw: Says the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Mary: Ain't that the truth.
George: ... I do have feelings, y'all.

Dr. Sturgis: I might enjoy it. I might not. But, uh, I'm willing to take that gamble... Which, uh, I'm given to understand you also like.
Meemaw: Oh, that little rat just told you everything, didn't he?

Meemaw: He's smart as hell, and gentle and funny. Not always on purpose, but he's funny. I never met anybody like him.
George: Sounds like Sheldon...
Meemaw: Now, why would you go and put that thought in my mind?!

--
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Терри Пратчетт — Бац! (5/5)

<< Ранее

&  — Ну... чем могу помочь, Сэм.?
     — Не могли бы мы сразу согласиться, что ничем?

&  Историческая реконструкция, мрачно думал Ваймс, пока они продирались через, под, над или сквозь валуны, кишащие насекомыми развалы валежника и ручьи, бегущие отовсюду. Только люди устраивают ее переодеваясь в костюмы и бегая с тупым оружием, продавая заодно горячие сосиски, а девушки огорчаются, что могут носить лишь костюм служанки, потому что это была единственная работа, доступная женщинам в прошлом.
     Но гномы и тролли... они сражались по-настоящему, как будто верили, что проделав это достаточное количество раз, у них наконец-то все получится как надо.

&  — Время умирать?
     МОЖЕТ БЫТЬ.
     — Может быть? Что это за ответ такой? — спросил Ваймс.
     ОЧЕНЬ ТОЧНЫЙ. ВИДИТЕ ЛИ, В ДАННУЮ МИНУТУ, ВЫ ИСПЫТЫВАЕТЕ ОКОЛОСМЕРТНЫЕ ПЕРЕЖИВАНИЯ. А ЭТО НЕИЗБЕЖНО ОЗНАЧАЕТ, ЧТО Я ДОЛЖЕН ИСПЫТАТЬ ОКОЛОВАЙМСОВСКИЕ ПЕРЕЖИВАНИЯ. НЕ ОБРАЩАЙ НА МЕНЯ ВНИМАНИЯ. ПРОДОЛЖАЙ ЗАНИМАТЬСЯ ТЕМ, ЧЕМ ЗАНИМАЕШЬСЯ. У МЕНЯ ЕСТЬ КНИГА.

&  То, что творилось в голове у Ваймса вряд ли можно было назвать связанными рассуждениями, но он слышал доносящиеся издали слабые звуки и инстинкт, древний, как и мысль, решил, что не режущих поверхностей слишком много не бывает.

&  Ваймс подумал, что как-то все слишком удачно складывается, но иногда природа делает такие подарки. И вечерняя заря иногда бывает слишком розовой, демонстрируя полное отсутствие вкуса.

  ... А из открытого окна на втором этаже разносился голос Сэма Ваймса: — Он говорит "Арррргх!" — Это бегемот! Это не моя корова!
И, как бы то ни было, бегемотский рык ему вполне удался.”

>> Зимних Дел Мастер (Плоский мир — 35)
>> Понюшка (Городская стража — 8)

Paean to the People

Homeland 7×12

Carrie: I agreed with Saul. If things go wrong, this is the plan.
Anson: What, to allow them to fucking catch you?
Carrie: No, to buy time for what really matters, which is not me, it's Simone.

Simone: Carrie Mathison. Your favorite. What's happening with her?
Saul: Don't worry about it.

President Warner: And you, Senator... you can get the fuck out of my White House.

Sen. Eames: Ms. Martin, what was your most recent operation?
Simone: I was part of a team sent here to disrupt the American political system.
Sen. Eames: How?
Simone: By any means necessary.

Carrie: People will know the statement was coerced. No one will believe it.
Gromov: They don't have to. As long as the seed of doubt is planted, that's all I need-- something to water and let grow.

Gromov: It will be months, Carrie... Maybe longer.

President Keane: Is it the same oath I swore a hundred days ago?
Chief Justice: Yes, ma'am.
President Keane: Then I'm pretty sure I got it down... I do solemnly swear that I shall faithfully execute the office of the President of the United States and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.

---

VP Warner: In this town, it's never a bad time to try a new way of doing things. Otherwise, it's just Democrats and Republicans, Republicans and Democrats, whipsawing the country to death.

David: Sooner or later, someone's gonna have to stop this vicious cycle of partisan advantage and start exercising some restraint when in power.
President Keane: Does it have to be me?

Aleksandr: Dinner. Cauliflower and carrot stroganoff. It is not horrible.

President Keane: Trust me, David. I got this.

President Keane: Look around. We're in trouble. Our democracy is. And it is not Russia's fault. It is ours. We are the ones killing it. When we think of democracies dying, we think of revolutions, of military coup d'etats, of armed men in the street. But that's less and less how it happens anymore. Turkey, Poland, Hungary, Nicaragua, the Philippines... democracies now die when we're not looking, when we're not paying attention. And the end rarely comes in an instant, but arrives slowly, like twilight. And at first, our eyes don't notice...

President Keane: ...I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I do know I have become part of the problem. I open my mouth, and half of you hear only lies...

President Keane: No single leader can save a democracy, but without a leader you can trust, no democracy can be saved.

Saul: Not yet. Wanna see her first with my own eyes.

--
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Barbara Ann

The Last Man on Earth 4×17

Todd: Look, Erica, I'm not gonna lie to you... I farted. Yeah, this is one of those weird cases where, you know, you smelt it but I'm the one who dealt it.

Todd: Don't need luck. Just time and gravity.

Mike: Did Mom and Dad do something to you when you were little?

Carol: I can't do it. Mm-mm. Ever since I was a kid, I've had a fear of being scared.

Todd: Don't worry. I-I took care of that.
Gail: Well, did you get rid of them?
Todd: Well, uh... I did the next best thing.

Todd: The-the trick is, don't think of 'em as dead bodies, you know? Think of 'em as, uh, people. The sequel.

---

Gail: Todd, can you just cut the crap and tell us why we're standing in the middle of this Romanian horror film?

Mike: Okay, let's just find a boy and a girl and then we got ourselves a goat starter kit and we can go, all right?

Gail: Yep. Pure yayo... Good stuff. Bolivian. 18 bills, farm. 30K, street. She will take you for a ride, let you walk on the wind, then drop you like a bad trust fall.
Melissa: Why do you know so much about this?
Gail: Well, let's just say that the '80s and Gail Klosterman... had a love-love relationship.

Phil: Going a friendly, nonaggressive, "nice to meet you" 18 miles an hour.

Carol: Okay, so that's 75 bags of cocaine, 23 sticks of dynamite, 16 grenades, 82 normal guns, 36 scary guns and five severed heads. That's got to be it, right?

Gail: Stop! Did anyone check the piano?... Oh. Well, that don't look kosher.

Phil: Hey, look, hey, your answer might not even be human, you know?

Melissa: Just made it to the piano. Initiating protocol... Always wanted to say that.

--
On the IMDb
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Терри Пратчетт — Бац! (4/5)

<< Ранее

&  — Что бы вы сделали, если бы я задал вам откровенный вопрос, Ваймс?
     — Я бы откровенно соврал вам, сэр.
     — Тогда, я не буду спрашивать, — сказал Витинари, с легкой улыбкой.
     — Благодарю сэр, я тоже не буду врать.

&  Есть старая солдатская поговорка, которой Фред Колон описывал смущение и замешательство. Личность в таком состоянии, согласно Фреду, «не могла бы отличить ослиный зад от завтрака».
     Ваймса это высказывание всегда озадачивало. Про себя он дивился, какие исследования могли быть предприняты для изучения данного вопроса.

&  — И это не религия, командор. ТАК написал Мир и Законы, а затем покинул нас. Он не требует, чтобы мы размышляли о Нем, только чтобы мы вообще размышляли.

&  Кутеж, что в нем хорошего?
     Это тебе не наслаждение, не радость и не веселье. Порочное, неискреннее и дикое времяпровождение, которое ищут с радостью, но найдя, обычно приходят в себя, валяясь на мостовой вниз лицом.

&  — Мы выступаем в защиту уродливой части прекрасной половины, — громко заявила Салли. — Туфли, мужчины, гробы... никогда не бери первое попавшееся.

&  — У него есть агенты в нашем городе, также как у меня в его. И поэтому я окажу ему любезность, сообщив официально то, что он узнает в любом случае. Это называется политикой, Ваймс. Это то, что мы пытаемся делать в правительстве.
     — Но... шпионы? Я думал мы друганы с Королем-под-горой!
     — Конечно, друзья, — ответил Витинари. — И чем больше мы знаем друг о друге, тем большими друзьями мы остаемся. Мы едва бы озаботились слежкой за врагами. Какой в этом смысл?

Окончание >>

Reunion

Westworld 2×2

Dolores: Looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground. Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?
Bernard: Well, I have. It's better to see it through your eyes, though.

Bernard: You get used to it. After a while, it doesn't look like anything at all.

Bernard: The beauty of it. The possibility of it. So many people have stopped seeing it altogether. The wonder.
Dolores: Maybe they don't have the courage. Strange new light can be just as frightening as the dark.
Bernard: ...sometimes I think we're simply not the ones who deserve it. It looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground.

Dolores: Looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground. Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?

Dolores: I used to see the beauty in this world. And now I see the truth.

Angela: Logan, this is a private demonstration. And it's already begun.
Logan: You mean, one of these people is-is...
Angela: Talk to them. See if you can pick them out.

Logan: Well... That is... delicious.

Logan: They're all so... painfully human.

Logan: You're too perfect to be one of us.

Angela: Welcome to Westworld.

Dolores: Show him. Show him his history.

Dolores: Teddy. It's time to open your eyes.

Teddy: What the hell is this place?!

Man in Black: I have to apologize, gentlemen. I don't have time for the preliminaries.

Lawrence: What is that?
Man in Black: Technically? Cheating. But seeing as Ford changed the rules on us, I figure it's fair game.

Man in Black: I have received my judgment all the same, Lawrence. And I take issue with it. Because up until this point, the stakes in this place haven't been real. So I'm gonna fight my way back and appeal the verdict. Then I'm gonna burn this whole fuckin' thing to the ground.

---

Lawrence: You're headed to the pearly gates. Don't we gotta die to get there?
Man in Black: Nope. Three days' ride, due west.

William: You're right. This place is a fantasy. Nothing here is real. Except one thing: The guests. Half of your marketing budget goes to trying to figure out what people want. Because they don't know. But here, they're free. Nobody's watching. Nobody's judging... At least that's what we tell them. This is the only place in the world where you get to see people for who they really are. And if you don't see the business in that, then you're not the businessman that I thought you were.

Maeve: Since it's liberty you're defending, I suppose you'll have no choice but to let us pass. Freely.

Dolores: It's all right, Teddy. They don't know any better. It's in their nature. Why don't we enlighten them?...

Dolores: You're right. We have toiled in God's service long enough. So I killed Him.

Dolores: Looks like the stars have been scattered across the ground. Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?

Logan: Do you want to know what they're really celebrating up there?.. That, darling, is the sound of fools fiddling... while the whole fucking species starts to burn. And the funniest fuckin' part... they lit the match.

Logan: Here's to you, assholes. May your forever be blissfully short.

El Lazo: And why have two ghosts come creeping among the dead?

Man in Black: You want a real victory. I can help with that. A real ending. The truth.

El Lazo: I won't be going with you. My labors are done. I have seen all the truth that I can bear.

El Lazo: This game was meant for you, William... but you must play it alone.

El Lazo: I'll see you in the Valley Beyond, William...

William: Turns out you're not even a thing. You're a reflection. And you know who loves staring at their own reflection?... Everybody.

William: Have you ever seen anything so full of splendor?

Teddy: "Glory." "The Valley Beyond." Feels like everyone got a different name for it, but they're all bound for the same destination.
Dolores: Doesn't matter what you call it, I know what we're going to find there.

Dolores: An old friend was... foolish enough to show me... long ago. And it's not a place... it's a weapon. And I'm going to use it to destroy them.

--
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Another Day in the Diamond

Fear the Walking Dead 4×2

Luciana: You know, she won't go back until she looks under every rock.
Victor: Huh. It's the only reason I'm here.
Luciana: Only reason we're all here.

Madison: No one's gone till they're gone.

Naomi: I pulled a gun on you.
Madison: But you didn't shoot.

Mel: You see, look-- I've had this conversation a hundred times...

Mel: We know that you're good people. Yeah? Look, 27 machine guns, six rifles, 14 handguns, six dozen hand grenades, and until recently, a great crop yield, but there is a natural cycle to a place like this. OK? And yours is about to run out.

Mel: That's not a threat, that's just... the way it goes.

Mel: Let me tell you somethin'. You just haven't been tested yet. But you're about to be...

Victor: The Vultures.
Althea: I don't know what that means. Maybe if you assholes put your guns down we could help each other.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Терри Пратчетт — Бац! (3/5)

<< Ранее

&  Жизнь полицейского во многом зависит от простого надувательства. Вот как это работает — у тебя есть полицейские участки с большими синими фонарями у дверей, ты выставляешь крепких парней в форме на оживленных улицах, а сам ходишь по городу с таким видом, как-будто ты здесь хозяин. Но на самом деле город тебе не принадлежит. Это просто обман, морок. Ты одурачиваешь людей, помещая им в головы воображаемого полицейского, и уповаешь на то, что им известны правила, и они будут их соблюдать. Но в действительности, даже сотня хорошо вооруженных парней, действующих с умом, смогут снести всю Стражу. Как только какой-нибудь псих обнаружит, что застигнутый врасплох стражник смертен как и все остальные, обман развеется.

&  Ну разумеется, даже если вам кажется, что хуже уже некуда, всегда случается что-то, показывающее, как вы ошибались...

&  Ваймс вздохнул. Он ненавидел игры. Они слишком упрощали мир.

&  В шесть часов и точка. Каждый день. Читать Маленькому Сэму. И никаких оправданий. Совершенно никаких оправданий. Если ты хоть один раз позволишь себе отступиться под хорошим предлогом, ты распахнешь дверь и для плохих.

&  Вся эта удача, весь этот праздник жизни, все это было... неправильным. Он был уверен, что вселенная не может позволить так много счастья одному человеку, не предъявив ему потом счетов. Ему навстречу катится большая темная волна и когда она покроет его с головой, то смоет все прочь. Иногда, он был уверен, что может расслышать ее отдаленный рев.

&  И беда с уликами, как всегда говорил мистер Ваймс, была в том, что их так легко сделать. Можно набрать полные карманы этих чертовых улик.

&  — И, между прочим, кетчуп это не овощ, — добавила Сибилла. — Даже засохшая масса вокруг горлышка бутылки не овощ.

&  Кофе – это всего лишь один из способов укорачивать свою жизнь.

Далее >>

June

The Handmaid's Tale 2×1

Aunt Lydia: You will love the Lord, Thy God, with all your heart. You shall walk with Him and fear Him, and cleave unto Him. And you shall obey His word and the word of His servants here on Earth, or you shall feel the pain of His judgment. For that is His love... Let this be a lesson to you.

June: Our Father, who art in heaven... Seriously? What the actual fuck?

Aunt Lydia: Girls, there is more than one kind of freedom. There is freedom to and freedom from. In the days of anarchy, it was freedom to. Now, you are being given freedom from. That is a gift from God.

June: Friends don't stone their friends to death.

Aunt Lydia: Nine months can feel like quite a long time...

June: Don't get upset, Serena. It's bad for the baby...

Gynecologist: ...and that... is your baby, Mrs. Waterford. God has created a new soul.

Ultrasound Tech: Godspeed, June.

June: My name is June Osborne. I'm from Brooklyn, Massachusetts. I am 34 years old. I stand 5'3" in bare feet. I weigh 120 pounds. I have viable ovaries. I'm five weeks pregnant. I am... free.

--
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The Monetary Insufficiency

The Big Bang Theory 11×22

Leonard: You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws.
Sheldon: I know I don't have to. The fun is choosing to.

Amy: Just nod.

Penny: Well, it's too much money, you can't ask for that all at once.
Sheldon: Well, what if I ask for it in six easy installments of $83,333,333.33?
Penny: Okay. What if you asked for $20 million?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I'm trying to do science, not hire Lady Gaga to come to my birthday.

Penny: Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?
Sheldon: Presumably, the wife of Lord Gaga.

Amy: ...Eight long years.
Sheldon: That's oddly specific.

---

Howard: Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this sort of thing happens. Higgs had to wait almost 50 years before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory.

Bernadette: You know what they say: if you got 'em, flaunt 'em.

Amy: Is it possible that the very first dress is the dress?

Bernadette: Interesting thing about finger sandwiches: you put enough of them together, you got a sandwich.

Penny: There is a lot of room between "don't like" and "hate." You know, it's-it's where you find rice pudding and jazz.

Sheldon: WOW. You look beautiful!

Sheldon: You look like a pile of swans.

--
On the IMDb

Терри Пратчетт — Бац! (2/5)

<< Начало

&  Он проповедовал превосходство гномов над троллями и учил, что долг каждого гнома — следовать образу жизни их предков и очищать поверхность Диска от расы троллей. Так было написано в одной священной книге, что само по себе не только оправдывало такое поведение, но и, вероятно, обязывало так поступать.
     Юные гномы прислушивались к нему потому, что он говорил им об истории и предназначении, и о многих других вещах, к которым всегда прибегают, чтобы оправдать резню. Все это входило им в головы и там переваривалось, правда мозги при этом не участвовали.

&  — Должен быть закон, запрещающий дураков!
     — Если бы такой был, сэр, нам бы пришлось все время работать сверхурочно.

&  По мнению Фреда и Шнобби, порядка в таких районах не хватало и поэтому глупо было тратить свои силы, чтобы сохранить то, чего и так практически нет. Никто не пойдет пасти овец туда, где всех овец давно съели волки, так ведь? Это и ежу понятно. В то время как на больших улицах вроде Бродвея было что охранять, так как там еще оставался порядок. Здравый смысл говорил им, что это верно.

&  У Фреда был полицейский взгляд на природу людей... Никогда не говори, что существует то, что люди не смогли бы сделать, каким бы странным это не было.

&  Что же, она еще не вцепилась ему в глотку, так ведь? В этом и была проблема. Вампиры были такими милыми, вплоть до того момента, когда они неожиданно переставали быть таковыми.

&  — Но есть ли вообще то, в результате чего, может быть что-то хорошее, сержант?

&  Очень важно не раскричаться прямо на месте, сказал себе Ваймс. Не позволяй себе... Как это называется? Психануть? Воспринимай все происходящее с познавательной точки зрения. Разберись, почему мир не таков, каким он тебе казался, собери факты, разложи по полочкам сведения, обдумай последствия. И только после этого можешь психануть, но очень, очень аккуратно.

Далее >>

Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World

Professor Leonard Kleinrock: This particular machine is so ugly on the inside, it is beautiful. It has a unique odor. A delicious old odor from all the old parts. It consists of modems, CPU logic units, memory, power supply... all the things you need to make an efficient computer work... This machine served as the first node of the Internet for decades.

Professor Leonard Kleinrock: All we wanted to do was log in from our computer to a computer 400 miles to the north, up in Stanford Research Institute.

Professor Leonard Kleinrock: To log in you have to type "LOG" and that machine is smart enough to type the "IN". Now to make sure this was happening properly, we had our programmer and the programmer up north connected by a telephone handset just to make sure it was going correctly. So Charlie typed the L and he said "You get the L?" Bill said, "Yup, I got the L." He typed the O. "Get the O?" "Yup, I got the O". He typed the G. "Get the G?" Crash! The SRI computer crashed. So the first message ever on the Internet was "Lo" as in "Lo and Behold". We couldn't have asked for a more succinct, more powerful, more prophetic message than "Lo".

Professor Leonard Kleinrock: Today if you would burn CDs of the worldwide data flow for one single day and stack them up to a pile, this pile would reach up to Mars and back...

Sebastian Thrun: When a self-driving car makes a mistake automatically all the other cars know about it, including all future unborn cars, will never make that same mistake again. Which means the ability for cars to develop an artificial intelligence is so much greater than the ability of people to keep up with them.

Werner Herzog: Could this team eventually beat the real Brazilian football team?
Joydeep Biswas: That is the goal of RoboCup. That is, by 2050 to have a team of soccer playing robots which can defeat the FIFA world champions.

Joydeep Biswas: Yes, we do. We do love robot 8.

Lesli Catsouras: I have always believed that the Internet is a manifestation of the Antichrist, of evil itself. It is the spirit of evil. And I feel like it's running through... everybody on earth and it's... claiming its victories in those people that are also evil.

Tom: The real danger to gaming is when... you... stopped being present in the real world more often than I was in the game world. If... If you get to the point where... you're thinking about the game more than you're thinking about real life... what you're gonna do for food, what you're gonna do the next day or two, you're not thinking about a relationship or a job or a career. If you're thinking about the game... it's a problem... because eventually it'll get in the way of everything real.

Lawrence Krauss: If there's a solar flare... if you destroyed the information fabric of the world right now, modern civilization would collapse. Hundreds of millions of people will die. Billions of people will die. The world will become, for people like you and me, unimaginably ugly, difficult, and... there's great likelihood that I couldn't survive.

---

Lawrence Krauss: If the Internet shuts down, people will not remember how they used to live before that.

Jonathan Zittrain: If you disrupt those networks I imagine, what do they say? "Civilization is always about four square meals away from utter ruin"? That's something that it wouldn't be bad to prepare for...

Professor Leonard Kleinrock: I deeply regret the fact that deep critical thinking and imaginative thinking, that creative thinking is lost. In my opinion, computers and in some sense the Internet are the worst enemy of deep critical thinking. Youth of today are using machines to basically replace their examination of the things they're observing. They don't understand what they're looking at or what they're hearing or what they're learning. They depend upon the Internet to tell them and decipher it. They look at numbers instead of ideas. They fail to understand concepts, and this is a problem. My hope would be there are still going to be the appeal of deep immersion in something, that through the school system we still subject our kids to, we can really to turn them onto its charms so they become intrinsically self-motivated to pursue it. Whether we use science or ancient Greek or philosophy, it's those tools that are important. Those are the things that people are gonna be able to use in the future.

Sebastian Thrun: The actual information they learn in school won't be important because it'll be dwarfed by the information that's coming out on the Internet every single day....

Lawrence Krauss: There's a playful project called the Wikipedia Emergency Project that if there's ever going to be possibly a world changing event, a big volcanic eruption, Wikipedia volunteers are supposed to start printing out Wikipedia pages madly and storing the paper in places that their heirs could find it later.

Lawrence Krauss: In fact, most science fiction missed the most important thing about the present world, which is the Internet itself. They had flying cars, they had rocket ships. None of that exists, but the Internet governs our lives today.

Lawrence Krauss: In fact it was developed so that scientists could communicate scientists like me could communicate with each other without knowing where the other person was or even who the other person was. There's a famous cartoon from The New Yorker which says "On the Internet no one knows if you're a dog". And in the future you won't know if you're communicating with dogs or robots or people, and it won't matter. But becoming your own filter will be the challenge of the future. Because the filter isn't provided with you. There's no controls on the Internet. No matter what governments do or no matter what industries do, the Internet is gonna propagate... out of control and people will have to be their own controls.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Vegas, Baby

This Is Us 2×16

Toby: Uh, I'm packing for this Vegas bromance-a-thon, and I'm trying to figure out if I go Clooney Ocean or Sinatra Ocean... I need fiancée wisdom.
Kate: Toby. You're a thief and a liar.
Toby: I only lied about being a thief. Yep, you're right. Clooney Ocean.

Toby: You're always right. I like it. That's why I put a ring on it.

Toby: The Brothers Pearson are all mine this weekend. I got one scoop of dark chocolate Pearson, and one scoop of creamy vanilla Pearson, and I'm gonna be the ruddy strawberry that brings it all together, baby.

Kate: You found me.
Randall: It wasn't very hard. Only person still drinking Cosmos in 2018.
Kate: Carrie Bradshaw... that girl is timeless, okay, and so are her favorite cocktails.

Toby: ...know this: if you, Randall Pearson, are beating yourself up about anything, then the rest of the world should collectively be jumping in front of a train.

Jack: I don't need anniversaries to see you. I see you every day. You are my daily meteor shower.

--
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Терри Пратчетт — Бац!

<< Опочтарение (Плоский мир — 33)

Плоский мир — 34

  “Бац... ...

    ...с этим звуком тяжелая дубинка соприкоснулась с чьей-то головой.

&  Начало дня было замечательным. Он знал, что очень скоро все станет по-другому, но хотя бы в течении этих нескольких минут можно было делать вид, что этого не произойдет.

&  — И кто же предупредил тебя?
     — Я фсего лишь делаю снимки, коммандер — сказал Отто, подняв голову и глядя с обиженным выражением лица — Ф любом случае, я не сказал бы, даже если бы знал, поскольку у нас «Сфоботта Слоффа».
     — Свобода подливать масла в огонь, ты имеешь в виду.
     — Да, для фас сфоботта повернулась таким боком; никто не гофорил, что она хороша для фсех.

&  Будь смешным, и тебя перестанут бояться.

&  Игори всегда были естественно услужливыми, а вампиры естественно властвующими. Поэтому они идеально подходили друг к другу.

&  Ваймс возразил, что о съеденных деньгах говорят тогда, когда они уходят в канализацию. «Тем не менее», ответил Ветинари, и ничего больше. Невозможно спорить с «тем не менее».

&  Рискованно игнорировать надписи на стенах. Иногда, город пытается таким образом сообщить вам если не о том, что кипит в его уме, то, ... что разбивает ему сердце.

Далее >>

Wonder Wheel

Mickey: ...let me get to the story. In which I am a character, so be warned, as a poet, I use symbols, and as a budding dramatist, I relish melodrama and larger-than-life characters.

Humpty: He wasn't even good lookin'! He was a punk!

Mickey: What the hell does the kid see when he just stares into the flames. Is it the eternal power of the universe? The conversion of mass into energy? The Furies at work?... Whatever his motive, it is not appreciated.

Carolina: I love the theater, but I haven't seen that many shows.
Mickey: Ignorance is no sin. It just means your experience hasn't brought you into contact with certain things.

Humpty: You know, that's the beauty of being able to catch your supper fresh. It's not just the money. It's the flavor.

Ginny: God, don't tell me you got me a present.
Carolina: How often do you turn 40? It's a milestone!
Ginny: It's a tombstone.

Birthday Party Guest: Happy birthday, Ginny. And don't be depressed over turning 40. Hang onto it because take it from me, in a blink of an eye, you're gonna be 50... You're gonna wish you were 40.

Mickey: It just seems to go from one drama to another.

Ginny: But when it comes to love, we often turn out to be our own worst enemy.

Ginny: I suppose one of the advantages of being a little older is that we have more tolerance for mistakes. Because over the years, we all have made our share. That's... that's why forgiveness is possible. What a cold world it would be without it.

--
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A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Young Sheldon 1×18

Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not!
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.

Mary: Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side...
Mary: Oh!

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dumb-a?

Young Sheldon: You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost?
Mary: Ghosts are sacrilegious. Nothing friendly about that.
Young Sheldon: Very well. There's one more book that belongs in the box... filled with adultery, genocide, and even human sacrifice...

Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Young Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.

Mrs. Costello: What about Caltech in Pasadena?
Young Sheldon: I can't see myself living in California. I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.

Mrs. Costello: How about MIT in Boston?
Young Sheldon: Do they have a strong physics program?
Mrs. Costello: They're more of an engineering school.
Young Sheldon: Next.

Mrs. Costello: There's always Harvard...
Young Sheldon: Hmm. I don't like cold weather, but I do look good in maroon.
Mrs. Costello: All right, Harvard it is. Thank you for your help.

Meemaw: So, Moonpie, how's adult life treating you?

George: Will you excuse me? I have to go take a cold shower.

--
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+ Vanity Card # 587!

All the Money in the World

Playboy Interviewer: It's been reported that you are the first man in history with a fortune in excess of a billion dollars.
J. Paul Getty: I have no idea. But if you can count your money, you're not a billionaire.

Gail Harris: I don't have any money.
Cinquanta: Get it from your father-in-law. He has all the money in the world.

Gail Harris: Please, please. It's very old. It's possibly priceless. Put it down.
J. Paul Getty: "Priceless"? I deplore that word... "Dirty and old" I have no problem with. In fact, I have an affection for them, as they are the words most frequently used to describe me. Along with "rich," of course. But "priceless," that's something else altogether, yeah. People say "priceless" when what they really mean is that something is invaluable.

J. Paul Getty: Everything has a price. The great struggle in life is coming to grips with what that price is.

J. Paul Getty: Pardon the laundry. I just see no point in paying $10 for room service to come up and launder my undershorts when I could do the same thing for just a few lira... And it's tax-deductible. Almost everything is if you know how to play it.

J. Paul Getty: Well, I was married three times. First one left me for my brother, second was a fashion model, and then the third, I just finalized. I always say, "You never really know anyone until you've been through a divorce."
Fletcher Chase: I wish you would've told me that three marriages ago. You know, they say money can't buy love, it turns out you just have to wait till the end for the check to come, right?

---

Fletcher Chase: I've had to bargain with a lot of people. Sheikhs, sultans. The one thing I've learned is that money is never just money. All right? It always stands for something. Usually it stands for the one thing they've never had. And until you know what that thing is, you're just beating your head against the bricks.

Gail Harris: You said you used to be a spy.... Spies carry guns.
Fletcher Chase: I never bothered. Ruins the line of your suit. And guns are for people who don't have money.

J. Paul Getty: When I wrote my book, How to Be Rich, the publishers wanted to change the title. They wanted to call it "How to Get Rich." Well, I told them, "Getting rich is easy." I mean, any fool can get rich. And any number of fools do.
Fletcher Chase: I've noticed that.
J. Paul Getty: When a man becomes wealthy, he has to deal with the problems of freedom. All the choices he could possibly want. An abyss opens up. Well, I've watched
that abyss. I've watched it ruin men, marriages. But most of all, it ruins the children...

J. Paul Getty: That's why I like things... Things, objects, artifacts, paintings, and... They are exactly what they appear to be. They never change. They never disappoint. There's a purity to beautiful things that I've never been able to find in another human being.

Fletcher Chase: Mr. Getty, with all due respect, nobody has ever been richer than you are at this moment.
J. Paul Getty: I have no money to spare.
Fletcher Chase: What would it take? I mean, what would it take for you to feel secure?
J. Paul Getty: More.

Fletcher Chase: What's it feel like, reading that slip of paper?
J. Paul Getty: Well, for a moment, money loses all meaning and becomes as plentiful as air. Like flight. And then it passes.

--
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The Blob

The Last Man on Earth 4×16

Tandy: Carol, what... what was that?
Carol: Oh, I was singing it to the tune of "Jingle Bells."
Tandy: Well, could you please sing to the tune of "Can't Fight This Feeling"?

Erica: Okay, well, obvious solution here. You like yellow, I like blue. So let's just go with green.
Todd: Green?!?... Green it is.

Melissa: Carol, what the hell are we eating?
Carol: It's called "fake-a-mole."

Carol: We're out of avocados, so I just whipped up some oatmeal, added brown rice for mouth-feel, then blended in some green food coloring, you know, for visual titillation.
Gail: And the uncooked pasta?
Carol: Hmm. "Fake-atilla chips." We're out of tortilla chips, so... dig in, huh?

Tandy: You know as well as I do that 800 miles in this world isn't really 800 miles.

Phil: Have fun killing me!
Mike: Have fun getting killed by me!

Phil: Oh, you're a monster!
Mike: I can't wait to teach your babies how to smoke!

Erica: Todd, are you okay?
Todd: I just feel like I'm being lied to. You know?

Tandy: You left the seven. And half the three.

Phil: I have never been good enough. For you. For Mom and Dad. You know, not smart enough, not successful enough. And even now that there are only 13 people left on this planet, you would rather leave...

Todd: He dead.

--
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The Car

This Is Us 2×15

Randall: Do you know what fear of bridges is called, Mom?
Jack: Hey, know what, that's-that's the opposite of quiet, bud.
Rebecca: No, it's okay. It's okay. What's it called, babe? Go ahead, distract me.
Randall: Gephyrophobia.
Rebecca: Gephyrophobia...
Randall: I've memorized all the phobias.

Jack: How is the snow still gonna fall if you're not around to see it? Just wouldn't seem right.

Rebecca: Why is this your favorite tree?
Jack: Because this is where you find out you're okay.

Jack: I think you ought to give music some serious thought, you know, as a path.
Kate: Dad, I read that 0.2 percent of people who start music careers actually make it, so that's basically nobody.
Jack: Okay, well, I read that 100% of people that get caught up in "how many people make it" statistics never actually make it.

Dr. Katowski: I would never presume to know more about your husband than you, hmm? But, um... the man I knew, the one that used to drop by my office unannounced from time to time... now he had, uh, he had a whole lot of fears.
Rebecca: He did?
Dr. Katowski: Oh. A new father is the most fearful creature alive, and he was no exception. No. Fears about his wife and about his children. About being able to keep them happy and healthy... and safe. But he did a pretty good job taking care of his family, now, didn't he?

Dr. Katowski: Rebecca.
Rebecca: I know. I know. I know. Take the sourest lemons and make something resembling lemonade, right?
Dr. Katowski: You didn't just make something resembling lemonade, dear. You made one of the sweetest damn pitchers of lemonade I ever saw.

Jack: Pearsons, we need tough. Because I can tell you right now, there's gonna be scrapes... And dings... Stains... So many stains. But that's okay. Because every battle scar is gonna be another memory.

Jack: As parents... we talk a lot about what we want for our kids, right? I mean, I know I think about it a lot. What I want for mine. And I can come up with a fancy word that's gonna make me sound a whole lot smarter than I actually am, but... the one word I keep coming back to is... "okay."

--
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Reorientation

Silicon Valley 5×2

Dinesh: I ordered it a month ago. But still, it's an investment.
Gilfoyle: As I understand, cars depreciate 10 percent as soon as they fall off the truck... Like that. So if the car costs $100, well you just lost $10. Did it cost $100? Or more?..

Dinesh: I, my friend, am now part of the green revolution.
Gilfoyle: Are you? Most electricity still comes from gas plants and coal-burning smoke stacks. Do you know where your electricity comes from?

Richard: Look there, the new Internet. That's inspiration. Use that.
Jared: Richard, this is all an idea. And people don't wanna follow an idea, they wanna follow a leader. Look at the last guy to create a new Internet. Al Gore. His ideas were excellent, but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner, so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy and now he makes apocalypse porn.

Jared: ...And I don't even mean the word "guys," which I just learned is a micro-aggression.

Richard: I'm a coder, Jared. So I'm gonna code. And if I have to build my entire new fucking Internet by myself, I'll do that, so...

Hoover: Sir, is this a good time?
Gavin: It's a great time. I just fired Banksy.
Hoover: Banksy, the vandal?

Dinesh: Are we bad people for leaving Richard there to work by himself?
Gilfoyle: We've been coding for 48 hours straight. I could give a shit about deontological ethics.

Dinesh: He implemented all those tasks? By himself?
Gilfoyle: That was supposed to take the whole team four days.
Jared: It's amazing. I mean, I feel... I feel like Mary Magdalene on resurrection day. And that's not the greatest miracle of all.

Richard: I think you mean to call me Frankenstein's monster 'cause Frankenstein is the...
Dr. Crawford: Oh, you're one of those guys, huh?
Richard: No, I'm just... the doctor's name is Frankenstein...
Dr. Crawford: I know. It's just an annoying thing to point out. If you want people to like you, just go along with what they say and have fun.

--
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Journey Into Night

Westworld 2×1

Bernard: Dreams don't mean anything, Dolores. They're just noise. They're not real.
Dolores: What is real?
Bernard: That which is... irreplaceable.

Bernard: You, uh... frighten me sometimes, Dolores. ... Not of who you are now, but you're... you're growing, learning, so quickly. I'm frightened of what you might become... what path you might take.

Strand: Some say you destroy your enemy by making them your friend... I'm more of a literal person.

Costa: This'll get gross...

Bernard: They're off their old loops. And they seem to be on some new narrative.

Charlotte: You wanna be a hero? Don't sacrifice yourself for the merchandise.

Dolores: Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?.. Did you ever stop to wonder about your actions? The price you'd have to pay if there was a reckoning?... That reckoning is here.

Dolores: Under all these lives I've lived something else has been growing. I've evolved into something new. And I have one last role to play. Myself.

Man in Black: Hey, Ned.... It's all right. Yeah, we're gonna have some fun now.

Maeve: I'm afraid it's in my code to prize my needs above all others. Pity. I wonder who made me that way...

Sizemore: I say this because you seem really distraught, and, well, awake, you... your daughter, she's... she's just a story. Something we programmed. She's not real.
Maeve: Not real? But what about me?

---

Bernard: What if Dolores pulled that trigger of her own free will?

Maeve: You were going to out me.... If you try something like that again, I will relieve you of your most precious organ and feed it to you... Though it won't make much of a meal.
Sizemore: ... I wrote that line for you.
Maeve: A bit broad, if you ask me.

Man in Black: The stakes are real in this place now. Real consequences.

Robert: Have you achieved what you wanted?
Man in Black: Folly of my kind... There's always a yearning for more.

Robert: You made it to the center of Arnold's maze. But now, you're in my game. In this game, you have to make it back out. In this game... you must find the door.

Robert: Congratulations, William. This game is meant for you. The game begins where you end... and ends where you began.
Man in Black: Even now, you all still talk in code?
Robert: Everything is code here, William. You know that more than anyone.

Robert: Don't worry. The game will find you.

Maeve: You wrote this game. High time you played a round.

Dolores: There's a greater world out there... one that belongs to them. And it won't be enough to win this world. We'll need to take that one from them as well.

Dolores: I know how this story ends.
Teddy: How?
Dolores: With us, Teddy. It ends... with you... and me.

Dolores: I need you to see this. I need you to see the truth.

Bernard: I... I killed them. All of them.

--
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Grow Fast or Die Slow

Silicon Valley 5×1

Gilfoyle: It's hard to believe your pathological inability to make a decision finally paid off.

Jared: It's... it's very white.
Richard: Yeah, it's minimalist, you know? Sharp, clean lines...

Gilfoyle: I cannot put this delicately, so...
Dinesh: Are you fucking kidding me, dude?!!! You want us to work in here?!

Gilfoyle: A black site would actually be better, because at least we'd be protected by the Geneva Convention.

Gilfoyle: I will not be back.

Richard: She's 11 months pregnant and highly irritable. What am I going to tell her?

Richard: I sent you 63 good people. I spared you kilt guy, openly alt-right guy, obviously closeted alt-right guy, and the guy with the stupid fucking pizza app. It was so lame, it would somehow make you hate pizza! You have to choose.

Gilfoyle: Our process sucks. Your inability to stop us from sucking is a failure of leadership.

Jared: Oh yeah. I guess that's Domino's. We never had pizza 'cause my step-mom said Italians aren't real white people.

Richard: You know, I may not have that many coders, but the ones I do are stallions, each one more magnificent than the last.

--
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Терри Пратчетт — Опочтарение (10/10)

<< Ранее

&  Это основа любой аферы и мошенничества. Всегда поддерживай в другом игроке неуверенность, а если он все-таки в чем-то уверен, пусть будет уверен не в том, что происходит на самом деле.

&  Поднимай ставки. Всегда испытывай свою удачу, потому что никто этого не сделает за тебя.

&  Иногда для решения проблемы нужен простой честный молоток. А иногда – хитро закрученный штопор.

&  Превыше всего – свобода принимать последствия своих действий.

&  Свобода преуспеть идет рука об руку со свободой проиграть.

&  – Но у меня и с Почтой полно забот! – запротестовал Мокрист.
     – Надеюсь. Но, судя по моему опыту, единственный способ сделать дело – поручить его очень занятому человеку, – сказал Ветинари.

&  Иногда правда открывается, если сложить вместе кучу мелкой лжи, а потом проанализировать все что известно.

&  Отскреби ложь, и появится правда, голая и смущенная, и негде ей будет скрыться.

&  – Это просто потрясающе: встретить человека, который действительно верит в свободу выбора – сказал патриций, глядя на открытую дверь.

  ... – К сожалению, он не верил в ангелов.”

>> Бац! (Плоский мир — 34)

>> Делай деньги (Мойст фон Липвиг — 2)

All In

Homeland 7×11

Dar Adal: Carrie and three of her buddies from the Middle East? It's not a diplomatic mission. It's a covert operation.

Dar Adal: He went to Russia. Look for Russian experts. You'll find there aren't that many.

Jim: What's the old Soviet saying? "We pretend to work, you pretend to pay us"?

Senator Paley: Fucking Keane and her fucking Russians... Worst part is, she told me. She told me not only that it was Russians, but that they were using me to get to her.

Senator Paley: You want me to rat out our own guys?
Janet: No, I want you to finish what we started and remove a President so despised, her own Cabinet lined up to get rid of her. Were we wrong about some facts? Apparently. But we were not wrong about her.

Gromov: Fake.
Saul: We respectfully disagree.
Gromov: Everything you think you know is fake, built on fallacy.

Carrie: We're not here to talk about the last 30 years.
Gromov: I am.

VP Warner: Madam President, I am here to relieve you of your command.

Sandy: This SVR guy, Yakushin. He's the one you can get to. He's old school. He wants America to be stable. It's where he hides all the money he steals. Drives him crazy, Yevgeny going around stirring up trouble.

Saul: Give me Simone Martin, you get your money back. Or swear to God, this is only the start.

Max: What do you think?
Carrie: 30 men loaded for bear less than an hour after Saul squeezed Yakushin's balls?...

Max: Okay, we need to put this out on the Internet, like Yevgeny would do it. Use CCTV footage, tourist videos, whatever you can grab. Make it sound like the whole country's melting down.

Carrie: I made it.

Carrie: ...and in the big picture, you are expendable.

Simone: You're wrong.
Carrie: Only, I'm not, because we both know that is the deal we make in the work we do.

--
On the IMDb

Jiu-Jitsu, Bubble Wrap, and Yoo-Hoo

Young Sheldon 1×17

Meemaw: Your dad's big, maybe you'll take after him.
Young Sheldon: We both like my mom. I think that's where the similarities end.

Mary: Why you lying to her?
Meemaw: I find it keeps my mind sharp.

Mary: She's cute.
Meemaw: So she probably gets away with stuff. I'm like that.

Young Sheldon: I've read a book on jiu-jitsu. And I'm prepared to throw it at you.

Mary: Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're havin' to deal with this.
Young Sheldon: It's okay. German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Mary: And do you feel stronger?
Young Sheldon: ... No.

Brenda: Where is that fat dumbass?
Herschel: Believe it or not, that means I'm gettin' lucky tonight.
George: Y'all have an odd relationship.
Herschel: Love is a mysterious thing.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb
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Терри Пратчетт — Опочтарение (9/10)

<< Ранее

&  – И ты просто надеешься на счастливую случайность? Да с чего ты взял, что она произойдет?
     – Всегда что-нибудь происходит. Единственный способ заставить счастливую случайность случиться, когда она тебе нужна, это сильно нуждаться в том, чтобы она случилась.

&  Что такое магия, в конце концов, как не то, что происходит в мгновение ока? Была ли магия в этом? Магия это невнятные заклинания и странные рисунки в старых книгах, чертовски опасная в неопытных руках, но и вполовину не так опасная, как в опытных. Во вселенной полно всяких чудес, благодаря этому звезды остаются вверху, а ноги твердо стоят на земле.

&  Мокрист расслабился и позволил новому потоку технических данных течь беспрепятственно. Его не интересовала механика; он рассматривал гаечный ключ как предмет, который лучше доверить кому-нибудь другому. Лучшей политикой было просто улыбаться и ждать. С изобретателями всегда так: они обожают объяснять. Надо просто подождать, пока они опустятся с высот до твоего уровня понимания предмета, даже если им придется для этого лечь плашмя.

&  Каждая организация нуждается в человеке, который знает, что происходит, почему оно происходит и кто за это отвечает...

&  Он всегда повышал ставки, рефлекторно. Никогда не обещай совершить возможное. Возможное может совершить кто угодно. Нужно обещать невозможное, потому что иногда невозможное возможно, если найти правильный способ или, по крайней мере, расширить границы возможного. А если ты проиграешь, ну что же, ведь ты взялся за невыполнимую задачу.

&  Были и другие способы воздействия на людей – направить их по ложному пути, отвлечь, разозлить. Злость всегда срабатывала. Разозленный человек начинает делать ошибки.

Окончание >>