15 апр. 2017 г.

Why Him?

& Ned: Honey, who exactly are you dating?

& Ned: Oh, that looks like a real dead moose.
    Laird: Well, that’s exactly what it is, Ned. A dead moose suspended in its own urine. It’s meant to symbolize the way that our culture has imprisoned our minds.

& Ned: So if I did Google him, what would I find?
    Stephanie: Don’t do it. Just don’t Google him.

& Justine: Ned, an alarm’s been set for you for 6:30 en la mañana.
    Ned: What? Who is that?
    Laird: That’s Justine. Yeah, she’s like Siri, but awesome. I got that chick from The Big Bang Theory, Kaley Cuoco, to do the voice.


& Ned: Justine, did you get that?
    Justine: Totes. Yeah, recorded every word.
    Ned: Totes... And totes is what?
    Justine: It means totally. But totally’s kind of long, so «totes» is just easier.

& Tyson Modell: You better start learning code pretty fucking fast, dude.

& Ned: This is what’s going to be your downward spiral. First you get a tattoo, then you start vaporizing. ... Then you go from there to heroin. ... After that, after you get hooked on drugs, you know what happens next?... You’ll become a hooker, a prostitute... a pimp’s bitch. That’s what’s going to happen to you. I see it very clearly.
    Stephanie: Oh, my... How long do I have?
    Ned: I’m glad you asked. Not long.

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