Extraction (2020)

Sachin: Quit swearin' all the time. It makes you sound stupid.

Nik Khan: There's a chicken in your bathroom.
Tyler Rake: Yeah, I like chickens, except when they shit everywhere.

Tyler Rake: No one else is gonna commit to somethin' this fucked up.
Nik Khan: And why would you?
Tyler Rake: I need the money. Chickens aren't cheap.

Nik Khan: You're hoping if you spin the chamber enough times, you're gonna catch a bullet.

Tyler Rake: Kid... Move fast. Stay low. Go!

Tyler Rake: I'm in survival mode.

Amir Asif: Here's some advice, a gift. Keep your other finger. Because no matter how badass you think you are... there's always a badass who's bigger than you.

Ovi Mahajan: You don't look like a Tyler.
Tyler Rake: No? What do I look like?
Ovi Mahajan: A Brad.

Tyler Rake: I told you, mate. I'm not brave. I'm just... I'm just the opposite.
Ovi Mahajan: You know... "You drown not by falling into the river, but by staying submerged in it."
Tyler Rake: Who told you that?
Ovi Mahajan: I read it in a book in school.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Σ pita4og: «Это очень банальная история о том, как сухой на эмоции солдат-наемник на очередной операции наступает нервами на личный триггер в виде ребенка-заложника. .... В общем если сценарий весьма упрощенный и предсказуемый, то вот техническая часть картины заслуживает всяких похвал. Лозунг режиссера здесь определенно - хочешь сделать хорошо, сделай всё сам. У Руссо-продюсеров тоже есть отличная чуйка на того, кто смог бы сделать всю эту боевку технически совершенно. От перестрелок, погонь и драк действительно захватывает дух. Авторы даже не поленились позвать настоящего клифф-дайвера на секундную сцену прыжка со скалы. Хэмсворт с автоматом и весь в крови как обычно няша. Ну а Нетфликс тоже молодцы - берут очередную экзотическую локацию для сюжета, тем самым продвигая контент на перспективной территории. А зрителю вся эта экзотика в кадре дарит небанальный визуал.»

>> Extraction 2 (2023)

Джонатан Литтелл — Благоволительницы (5/16)

<< Ранее

&  Именно в этом и заключается различие между слабыми и теми, кого называют сильными. И первых, и вторых мучают тревога, страх, сомнения, но слабые все осознают и страдают, а сильные пытаются ничего не замечать и ополчаются на слабых, чья очевидная уязвимость угрожает их шаткой уверенности в себе. Таким образом, слабые угрожают сильным и провоцируют насилие, убийства, безжалостные расправы. А вот когда роковая неудержимая жестокость оборачивается против сильных, стена их самоуверенности дает глубокие трещины, и они начинают понимать, что их ждет, и видят, что им крышка.

&  «Да, у национал-социализма есть промахи»... — «Да, ... Вы не последовали марксистскому учению, а извратили его. Замещение класса расой, приведшее к вашему пролетарскому расизму, — нонсенс, абсурд». — «Не более чем ваше понятие непрерывной классовой борьбы. Классы — историческая данность; они образовались в определенный момент и так же исчезнут, растворятся, гармонично, без кровопролития впишутся в Volksgemeinschaft. Раса же — данность биологическая, естественная, а значит, непреложная». Правдин поднял руку: «Слушайте, я же не спорю, это вопрос веры, здесь бесполезно прибегать к логике и разумным аргументам. Но вы должны согласиться со мной хотя бы в одном пункте — при всех весьма значимых различиях наши мировоззрения базируются на общем принципе: обе идеологии по характеру детерминистские. Но у вас расовый детерминизм, а у нас — экономический, но детерминизм. И вы, и мы верим, что человек не выбирает судьбу, она навязана природой или историей, и делаем отсюда вывод, что существуют объективные враги, что отдельные категории людей могут и должны быть истреблены на законном основании, просто потому, что они таковы, а не из-за их поступков или мыслей. И тут разница только в том, кого мы зачисляем в категорию врагов: у вас — евреи, цыгане, поляки и, насколько мне известно, душевнобольные, у нас — кулаки, буржуазия, партийные уклонисты. Но, в сущности, речь об одном и том же: и вы, и мы отвергаем homo economicus, то есть капиталиста, эгоиста, индивидуалиста, одержимого иллюзиями о свободе, нам предпочтителен homo faber. Или, говоря по-английски, not a self-made man but a made man, ведь коммуниста, собственно, как и вашего прекрасного национал-социалиста, надо выращивать, обучать и формировать. И человек сформированный оправдывает безжалостное уничтожение тех, кто не обучаем, оправдывает НКВД и гестапо, садовников общества, с корнем вырывающих сорняки и ставящих подпорки полезным растениям».

Далее >>

The Fiery Cross

Outlander 5×1

Jamie: Old. Ha. New. Ha. Borrowed. And blue, huh. Yeah, blue enough. Huh.

Jamie: We've no' had enough time together.
Claire: It was going to happen one day. And we're giving her away to a man who loves her.
Jamie: Oh.
Claire: What?

Claire: You doubt his love?
Jamie: Did he no' doubt it himself?
Claire: Well, he's here now, and he loves her.
Jamie: Hmm. Mebbe that's what I fear. I ken what love can make a man do. Gives ye courage, but not the sense to go along wi' it. And no good love'll do either of them if he gets himself killed.

— ... As long as we both shall live.

Murtagh: In another lifetime, you and I might have had more time. Perhaps if... I was a different man... But it's because I ken what life is. Ye canna change a man. Ye can only change his circumstance.

Jamie: The war will change the face of this land.
Murtagh: There's always a war comin'. But it's for us to decide which ones we fight.

Jamie: Go. Go. Please. Be hard to find.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Sucker of Souls

Love, Death & Robots 1×5

Flynn: Is that what we're looking for, Doctor?
Dr. Wehunt: I think it might be, Mr. Flynn. Do try to at least act excited.
Flynn: Mercenaries are like hookers, Doctor: pretending to be excited costs extra.

Simon: Hmm, let me see. "Entombed here, the Devourer of Children, the Black Prince, the Sucker of Souls"?
Flynn: Sucker. Heh, yeah.

Dr. Wehunt: It's him, the Impaler. Dracula! I did not think we would find him alive.

Flynn: What'd he say, Doc?
Dr. Wehunt: He said you're a warrior.
Flynn: God damn right I'm a warrior!
Dr. Wehunt: Yes, but he also added that he's looking forward to eating your still beating heart.

Flynn: Huh. Well, he's not the first man who got in trouble for eatin' a little pussy.

Flynn: Little pussy here saved our lives.
Gary: Yeah, I know it saved my life a few times...

Dr. Wehunt: It is the Impaler.
Micky: Isn't that a type of car?
Gary: That's an Impala, you stupid cunt.

Micky: So there's a Dracula out there, then?
Dr. Wehunt: Not a Dracula. The Dracula.

Flynn: Why? Why do you have C4, Gary?
Gary: Uhhh... Cave-ins?
Dr. Wehunt: It's not enough.

Dr. Wehunt: I'm an archaeologist, Mr. Flynn, not a tactician.
Flynn: Well, I'm an ex-soldier, not Buffy the fucking Vampire Slayer, but you don't see me crying in a corner.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Джонатан Литтелл — Благоволительницы (4/16)

<< Ранее

&  «Это ошибка, но ошибка необходимая ... Подобные действия ошибочны хотя бы потому, что являются результатом нашей неспособности найти более рациональное решение. Но они необходимы, потому что в нынешней ситуации евреи представляют для нас огромную, неотвратимую опасность. И если фюрер приказал прибегнуть к крайним мерам, то лишь потому, что его вынудили к этому нерешительность и некомпетентность людей, уполномоченных заниматься этой проблемой». — «Что вы подразумеваете под нашей неспособностью найти рациональное решение?» — «...Вы, конечно, помните, как после взятия власти все безответственные и истеричные партийцы вдруг завопили, требуя радикальных мер, и сколько было предпринято противозаконных или вредоносных действий, вроде безумных затей Штрейхера. Фюрер очень мудро притормозил неконтролируемые акции и выбрал легальный путь, приведший в тысяча девятьсот тридцать пятом к принятию расовых законов, в целом вполне удовлетворительных. Но даже это не помогло достичь согласия по еврейскому вопросу между мелочными бюрократами, готовыми утопить любое начинание в потоке документации, и психопатами, поддерживающими разовые операции из каких-то личных интересов. Отсутствие координации и привело к погромам тридцать восьмого года, нанесшим Германии непоправимый ущерб, — вполне логичное развитие событий! И только когда СД серьезно озаботилась проблемой, появилась альтернатива всякого рода самодеятельным начинаниям. В результате долгого изучения и всестороннего обсуждения вопроса мы смогли сформировать и внедрить единую политику: ускоренное переселение. И сегодня я уверен,что такое решение могло удовлетворить всех, и воплотить его в жизнь не составляло труда даже после аншлюса. Структуры, созданные и для этих целей, и собственно для освоения средств, незаконно собранных евреями на финансирование эмиграции их неимущих единоверцев, функционировали очень эффективно. Вы, возможно, помните маленького подхалима, наполовину австрийца, подчиненного Кнохена, а затем Берендса?» — «Вы о штурмбанфюрере Эйхмане? ...». — «Да, именно. Так вот он в Вене прекрасно все организовал. Процесс пошел отлично». — «Да, но не забывайте о Польше. И ни одна страна не выразила готовности принять три миллиона евреев». — «Точно. И тем не менее даже сейчас не исчерпаны способы поэтапного преодоления трудностей. Бесспорно, идея с повсеместным переселением в гетто имела катастрофические последствия; но, мне кажется, поведение Франка во многом этому благоприятствовало. Промах состоял еще и в стремлении сделать все и сразу: репатриировать этнических немцев, одновременно решив и еврейский, и польский вопрос. Поэтому и возник хаос». — «Да, но, с другой стороны, требовалось незамедлительно вернуть фольксдойчей на родину: никто ведь не знал, сколько еще времени Сталин готов с нами сотрудничать. Он мог закрыть границы в любой момент. Впрочем, поволжских немцев так и не удалось спасти». — «Мы бы добились этого, я полагаю, но они сами не захотели ехать. И жестоко ошиблись, доверившись Сталину. Они чувствовали себя защищенными своим автономным статусом, верно? Но, однако же, вы правы: надо было начинать с фольксдойчей. Речь шла только о присоединенных территориях, без генерал-губернаторства. Если бы все захотели действовать сообща, то нашли бы средство перевезти евреев и поляков из Вартегау и Данцига в Западной Пруссии в генерал-губернаторство и освободить место репатриантам. Но тогда мы бы посягнули на существующие ныне рубежи нашего национал-социалистического государства — наглядное доказательство того, что организация национал-социалистической администрации не отвечает политическим и социальным запросам нашего общества. В Партии полно коррупционеров, отстаивающих собственные интересы. Поэтому любой спор, любые разногласия неминуемо приводят к ожесточенному конфликту. В случае с репатриацией гауляйтеры присоединенных областей вели себя просто вызывающе, а генерал-губернаторство реагировало в том же духе. Каждый обвинял другого в желании превратить его округ в настоящий отстойник. А СС, курировавшая весь процесс, не обладала достаточной властью, чтобы в приказном порядке урегулировать ситуацию. На каждом этапе кто-нибудь обязательно выступал с несуразным предложением или оспаривал указания рейхсфюрера, используя личные отношения с фюрером. И поныне наше государство остается абсолютным, национал-социалистическим Führerstaat только в теории; на практике — и положение лишь ухудшается — это форма плюралистической анархии. Фюрер, разумеется, решает все, но он не вездесущ, а наши гауляйтеры научились прекрасно интерпретировать его приказы, переиначивать их и действовать по собственному усмотрению, заявляя при этом во всеуслышание, что следуют его воле».
     ... «Ах да, избранный народ. Несмотря на все препятствия, следовало бы отыскать приемлемые решения. Например, после нашей победы над Францией СД при содействии Министерства иностранных дел серьезно рассматривала вариант Мадагаскара. А до тех пор планировалось собрать евреев вокруг Люблина в огромной резервации, где они жили бы спокойно, не угрожая Германии; но генерал-губернаторство было категорически против, и Франк, воспользовавшись своими связями, запорол проект. Выбор Мадагаскара был совершенно обоснован. Этот вопрос изучался, как раз там и хватило бы места всем евреям, находящимся в зоне нашего влияния. Подготовка шла полным ходом, и служащих государственной полиции перед командировкой на Мадагаскар даже успели привить от малярии. В основном этой программой занималось Четвертое управление, гестапо, но СД поставляла идеи и сведения, я читал их рапорты». — «Почему же все сорвалось?» — «Да просто потому, что британцы совершенно необдуманно отказались признать наше подавляющее превосходство и подписать с нами мирный договор! А от этого зависело слишком многое. Во-первых, Франция должна была уступить нам Мадагаскар, такой пункт должен был фигурировать в договоре, во-вторых, Англия предоставила бы нам флот, понимаете?».
     ... «И касательно России первоначальные замыслы были менее масштабными. Все думали, что кампания завершится быстро, и рассчитывали сделать как в Польше, то есть обезглавить лидеров, интеллигенцию, большевистскую верхушку и прочих, представляющих опасность. Сама по себе задача отвратительная, но жизненная и логичная, принимая во внимание и неумеренность аппетитов большевизма, и его неразборчивость в средствах. После победымы бы еще раз взвесили аргументы и приняли окончательное универсальное решение, определив еврейскую резервацию, например, на Севере или в Сибири или отправив их в Биробиджан, почему нет?»

Далее >>

A Serial Killer's Guide to Life (2019)

Chuck Knoah: Visualize the future you want. Visualize it all. Visualize you becoming that person. Living through them. Taking a step in the body of the new you. This is who you can be.
     Step One. When you give yourself over to possibility, anything can and will happen...

Lou Farnt: Lets do this.
Val Stone: Get in. Let the voyage of self-discovery begin.

Chuck Knoah: Step Two. Believe in the power of you as I believe in the power of me.

Val Stone: This is the best decision you've ever made.
Lou Farnt: I know.
Val Stone: I was talking to myself.

Val Stone: Next stop: inner serenity.

Val Stone: Time to get moving. Lots more to fit in.

Chuck Knoah: Step three. Life is like a box of chocolates. All the crappy ones get left behind.

Val Stone: Don't worry, Marcus, it won't take a second.

Chuck Knoah: Step 4. An end is only a new beginning.

---

Val Stone: You've been thinking about everyone else your whole life. Now it's time to think about you.

Lou Farnt: I'm not who you think I am. But, you know, I hope youll be proud of me. I'm not a nobody anymore.

Chuck Knoah: Step 5. The anything can and will happen.

Chuck Knoah: Step 6. Unlock what is hidden within and you may like what you find.

Val Stone: What a journey...
Lou Farnt: You can say that again.

Lou Farnt: Where's Val?

Chuck Knoah: Visualize the future you want. Visualize you becoming that person. Living through them, taking a step in the body of the new you. The new, stronger, fitter, wealthier, more successful you. The only thing I would say is: be true to yourself. Love yourself. If I can have a little part in that, in their future lives, then that's great. Because for me, I get joy, I get love, I get happiness out of seeing others succeed. For me, that's my journey.

Chuck Knoah: I'm Chuck, I'm here to help. And if you wanna think of me as your god, your guru, go ahead, that's fine. But think about it for a second. Wouldn't it be better, wouldn't it be more life-changing, if you thought of me as a friend? Read the book, listen to the CD, you'll realize I'm your friend, I'm your best friend, I'm here to help you. And that's the only way we can all get what we want.

--
On the IMDb

Джонатан Литтелл — Благоволительницы (3/16)

<< Ранее

&  В такой стране, как наша, роли распределены четко: ты — жертва, а ты — палач, выбора никому не предоставили и согласия не спросили, потому что все были взаимозаменяемы, и жертвы, и палачи. Вчера мы расстреливали евреев-мужчин, завтра женщин и детей, послезавтра еще кого-нибудь; и нас, как только мы отыграем свою роль, тут же заменят. Германия, по крайней мере, не избавлялась от палачей, даже заботилась о них, в отличие от Сталина с его болезненным пристрастием к чистке рядов; что, в общем-то, не противоречило логике вещей. Для русских, как и для нас, человек не стоил ничего, нация, государство стали всем, в этом смысле мы были отражением друг друга. Евреи тоже обладали развитым чувством общности, ощущением единого народа: они оплакивали мертвых, хоронили их, если могли, и читали каддиш; пока хоть один еврей жив, живет Израиль. Без сомнения, они превратились в наших заклятых врагов именно потому, что оказались слишком похожими на нас.

&  Во многих случаях, как я осознавал теперь, безнаказанный садизм и неслыханная жестокость, с которой перед казнью наши люди обращались с осужденными, были всего лишь следствием чудовищной жалости, не нашедшей другого способа выражения и превратившейся в ярость, бессильную, беспредметную, почти неизбежно направленную на того, кто стал ее первопричиной. Массовые казни на востоке свидетельствовали, как это ни парадоксально, о страшном, нерушимом единстве человечества. Какими бы беспощадными и ко всему привычными ни были наши солдаты, никто из них не мог стрелять в женщину-еврейку, не вспомнив жену, сестру или мать, убивать еврейского ребенка,не увидев перед собой в расстрельном рве родных детей. Их поведение, зверства, алкоголизм, депрессии, самоубийства, равно как и мои переживания, доказывали:другойсуществует, и тот другой — человек; и нет ни такой воли, ни идеологии, ни такой степени безумия и количества алкоголя, которые могли бы разорвать имеющуюся связь, тонкую, но прочную. Это данность, а не праздное рассуждение.

&  ...все богатства оккупированной Украины отправлялись в Германию, все необходимое человеку перемещалось теперь из одной точки в другую, совершало круговорот согласно грандиозному итаинственному замыслу. Значит, ради этого велась война, ради этого люди гибли? Но, собственно говоря, в жизни всегда все обстояло именно так. Один в угольной пыли растрачивает здоровье, задыхаясь в глубоких шахтах, а где-то другой отдыхает в тепле, закутавшись в альпака, устроился поудобнее в кресле с интересной книгой и даже незадумывается, откуда взялось кресло, книга, альпака, отопление. Национал-социализм как раз добивался, чтобы в будущем каждый немец имел скромную долю благ и наслаждался жизнью; однако оказалось, что в пределах Рейха достичь этой цели невозможно; теперь мы отнимали блага у других. Справедливо ли это? Да, коль скоро мы обладали силой и властью, ведь что касается справедливости, то абсолютного критерия не существует, у каждого народа своя правда и своя справедливость. Но если когда-нибудь наша сила ослабнет, наша власть дрогнет, то и нам придется подчиниться чужой справедливости. Таков закон.

Далее >>

Sex Education #2.8

Otis: Withholding of information is not technically a lie. And implementing an avoidance strategy will only suppress your negative emotions towards me, not make them dissipate.
Jean: Oh, you're going to therapize me. Go ahead. Have a seat. Show me your skills.

Otis: Fine. Okay, yes, I spoke to people at school. I gave out some advice. You can't arrest me for talking to people.
Jean: You don't invoice for a casual conversation.

Otis: Why do I always end up pissing everyone off?
Ola: I think you're always trying so hard to be a good guy that you end up not being a good guy.

Miss Sands: Remember, guys, today is about having fun... But it's also really important that we win. This is not a drill, guys. This is the endgame.

Adam: Still play the French horn?
Eric: I didn't think you knew what it was.
Adam: Trombone sounded funny.

Remi: Of course I like you. I just...
Otis: Then how could you leave me?
Remi: ... Because I'm an arsehole. I'm sure there are multiple ways of diagnosing my personality, but the chief ingredient is arsehole.
Otis: How do I not become an arsehole?
Remi: Just try and stay honest. 'Cause once you start lying, it's... it's very hard to stop.

---

Remi: When you're young... you think that everybody out there really... really gets you. But, you know, actually, only a handful of them do. All the people who like you, despite your faults. And then if you discard them, they will never come back. So, when you meet those people... you should just hold on to them. Really, really tightly. And don't let them go.

Viv: We're not giving up. We came here to win. And if we're not gonna win, at least we're gonna fight. ... And more important than that, we're a team. So, if we're gonna go down, we're gonna go down together.
Steve: Sorry, you kind of turned into Braveheart there. I love that film.
Viv: Pull yourself together, Steve.

Maxine: I thought this was Shakespeare?...
Mr. Groff: Uh, yes. I think our students are taking a postmodern approach.

Maureen: When you love a person, there's always a tiny part of you that's terrified that one day you're gonna lose them. And I think that your father's so scared of that emotion that... he stops himself feeling anything at all. But you have to let the people you love know that you love them, even if it causes you a great deal of pain.
Adam: Why? It sounds awful.
Maureen: Because you're alive.

Adam: I want to hold your hand.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Джонатан Литтелл — Благоволительницы (2/16)

<< Начало

&  Если вы родились в стране или в эпоху, когда никто не только не убивает вашу жену и детей, но и не требует от вас убивать чужих жен и детей, благословите Бога и ступайте с миром. Но уясните себе раз и навсегда: вам, вероятно, повезло больше, чем мне, но вы ничем не лучше. Крайне опасно мнить себя лучшим. Мы с готовностью противопоставляем государство, неважно, тоталитарное или нет, обычному человеку, ничтожеству или пройдохе. Забывая, что государство в основном и состоит из людей заурядных, у каждого из них своя жизнь, своя история, и цепь случайностей приводит к тому, что одни держат винтовку или пишут бумаги, а другие — в соответствии с написанной бумагой — оказываются под дулом этой винтовки. Развитие событий очень редко зависит от выбора и врожденных наклонностей. Далеко не всегда жертвы, обреченные на смерть, добрые, а палачи, которые убивают и мучают, злые. Думать так — наивно

&  Государственная машина состоит из песка, крупинки которого она растирает в пыль. Она существует лишь потому, что все одобряют ее существование, даже — и довольно часто до последней минуты — ее жертвы.

&  Я не считаю себя демоном. Каждый мой поступок всегда оказывался следствием определенных причин, хорошо это или плохо, не знаю, но по-человечески понятно. И убийцы, и убитые — люди, вот в чем страшная правда. Нельзя зарекаться: «Я никогда не убью», можно сказать лишь: «Я надеюсь не убить». Я тоже надеялся прожить достойную и полезную жизнь, ощущать себя человеком, равным среди равных, и еще стремился внести вклад, лепту в общее дело. Но я обманулся, моей доверчивостью воспользовались, чтобы совершать дела непотребные, грязные, я перешел через темные берега, и все это зло вошло в мою жизнь, и ничего уже не поправить, никогда. В словах толку нет, они исчезают, словно вода в песке, а песок заполняет мне рот. Я живу, делаю, что могу, как все вокруг, я — человек, как и вы. Уж поверьте мне: я такой же, как и вы!

&  Теоретически, утверждал [мой научный руководитель], нам нечего бояться войны; война — это логическое завершение Weltanschauung, мировоззрения. Цитируя Гегеля и Юнгера, он аргументированно доказывал, что государство способно достичь пика абсолютного единства только во время и посредством войны: «Если индивидуум сам по себе есть отрицание государства, то война — отрицание этого отрицания. Война — событие, которое, как никакое другое, формирует основы коллективного существования народа, Volk». Но в высших кругах решались проблемы куда более прозаические.

&  Я разглядывал евреев — те, что были ко мне поближе, казались бледными, но спокойными. Нагель приблизился и принялся торопливо убеждать меня, показывая на евреев: «Такова необходимость, вы понимаете? Здесь не следует принимать в расчет человеческое страдание». — «Да, но, тем не менее, какую-то роль оно все равно играет». Как разэтого я и не мог постичь: пропасть, полное несоответствие между тем, как легко убивать и как тяжело умирать. У нас выдался всего лишь очередной гнусный день; для них он был последним.

Далее >>

Childrick of Mort

Rick and Morty 4x9

Jerry: Yes, yes, drugs and video games. Poor babies. What you need is to level up with a bong rip of nature. Trust me, this is good for you.
Summer: Can someone just kill me? Grandpa Rick, you can kill anything.
Jerry: No, he can't, Summer. We're roughing it. And that means no sci-fi bull-[BLEEP].

Summer: "Rick. Please answer me. I'm pregnant"?! Oh, my God, Grandpa, you [BLEEP] boi.

Rick: Hello, Gaia. Hold on. Let me just adjust my Seismic-to-English translator...
Gaia: Rick. You came.
Morty: W-Where is she?
Rick: You're looking at her.
Morty: I-I-I-I don't understand.
Rick: Isn't it obvious, Morty? I [BLEEP] a planet.

Morty: So, what, you just go around knocking up planets now? I-I-Is that what you do when I'm at school?
Rick: I'm a scientist, Morty. I try things. Sex with a living planet? Big step for mankind.

Rick: Hey, uh, Gaia, baby, Big Daddy Rick is here. What's the problem?
Gaia: Children. Birth cycle. Now.

Summer: Cool vacation, guys. So happy I got to see the human geyser instead of micro-dosing with my friends.

Gaia: More coming. Kids. Need father.

Rick: The fact is even if they were mine, which they're not, the best parent is evolution. They'll probably develop harder skin or maybe even webbed arms. Man, that'd be cool, huh? Flying squirrel people?
Beth: Yeah, Dad, that approach worked out great for me.
Rick: Beth, I know it looks bad, but trust me. This is life in the galaxy, okay? It's totally normal.

Rick: Welp, welcome to lack of abandonment.

Jerry: Why is it so hard for you two to let nature in?
Summer: Because this sucks ass. Camping is just being homeless without the change.

Summer: That's actually really sad, Dad. Let's be real. You've been high-roading us non-stop, forcing us to do nothing in the middle of [BLEEP] nowhere because it's the only way you're gonna level the playing field, isn't it? Because if you move the bar so low, you might actually seem like you're worth a [BLEEP].
Morty: ... Jesus Christ, you really need to stop hanging out with Rick.

---

Rick: Okay, so, if we divert the Lawyer Pipeline here, they should avoid the Ethics Tube and come out spineless enough to do their job...
Beth: Right. Wait, why are the athletes going through the introvert sector?
Rick: Obviously so they can bully the mathematicians and give us astronomers.
Beth: God, you are such a space nerd.
Rick: I'm not a nerd. We're raising a society here, Beth. If we want them to be self-sufficient, they need to get out into space.

Rick: We got an oversupply of teachers putting a strain on the literary drive.
Beth: Activating playwright converter!

Beth: What the hell is that?!
Rick: The unproductives. Goddamn it! How are there so many of them?
Beth: Unproductives?
Rick: Yeah, deejays, foodies, influencers. I just re-circulate them through until... [BLEEP] they blew a hole in the human resources department!

Jerry: What the... Squeeb! This is not a tent.
Squeeb: It is a new kind of tent, with special gutters to funnel the rain, and a door.
Jerry: It's a house! No houses! No doors! Once you have doors, you have indoors. Once you have indoors, you won't want to camp anymore.
Squeeb: Then why do they not camp?
Jerry: Because they're bad.
Squeeb: Bad... Bad. Bad!
— Bad. Bad. Bad.

Summer: If I die, don't eat my ass. That'd be weird.

Rick: If you told me six days ago I'd be christening a generation ship for my half-rock children, I would've called you crazy. But I guess that's the lesson... crazy things happen when you put in the work. Salud!

Rick: Did you for real just try to smite me? Siri, triangulate source of power... Got you now, you son of a bitch. Sweetie, you handle the hippies. I'll handle the off-brand Yahweh.
Beth: Kick his ass, Dad!
Rick: Bear witness.

Rick: You kids are my [BLEEP] heroes! You saved Grandpa's life! I [BLEEP] love you so much!
Morty: We played video games and got high! We did wrong!
Summer: We did wrong!
Rick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, little boopas. Come on, now. You kids, you did real good here. You did good. Getting high and playing video games is the best, I swear to [BLEEP] God.
Morty: But Mom and Dad are gonna be mad.
Rick: No, hey, hey, look, no. [BLEEP] your mom and dad. Your parents are a bag of dicks. Getting high and playing video games is the best, and I will never sell you out, ever.

Rick: Relax, it's just a Zeus. If this was the real God, it... it'd be a completely different story.

Rick: Phew!
Summer: I was watching over your shoulder for a full minute.
Rick: So? I was watching because it's funny. It's... It's... They... They... They're planets, but they're sexy. It's a comedic premise.
Summer: Yeah...
— Planets Only. Planets Only...

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Джонатан Литтелл — Благоволительницы

  “Люди-братья, позвольте рассказать вам, как все было. ...

&  Долго-долго ползаешь по земле, как гусеница, ждешь, когда выпорхнет на волю прекрасная воздушная бабочка, прячущаяся внутри тебя. Время идет, а червяк в куколку не превращается, — прискорбный факт, но что поделать?

&  ...самоубийство не по мне. Впрочем, непонятно почему, скорее всего, из-за морально-философских пережитков, заставляющих меня повторять, что мы здесь не для развлечения. Для чего же тогда? Я не знаю, наверное, чтобы пожить подольше, чтобы убивать время, пока оно не убьет нас.

&  Несмотря на перипетии, которых на моем веку было множество, я принадлежу к людям, искренне полагающим, что человеку на самом деле необходимо лишь дышать, есть, пить, испражняться, искать истину. Остальное необязательно.

&  Нет, самое трудное и утомительное состояние, когда нечем заняться и начинаешь размышлять.

&  Даже человек, который никогда не воевал, не убивал по приказу, прочувствует то, о чем я говорю. Припомнит мелкие подлости, трусость, лживость, мелочность — любому есть о чем сокрушаться. Неудивительно, что люди изобрели работу, алкоголь, пустой треп. Неудивительно, что телевидение пользуется успехом.

&  ...надеюсь в отдаленном будущем достичь состояния благодати Херонимо Надаля, не иметь пристрастий за исключением единственного — ни к чему не иметь пристрастия.

&  Позвольте мне еще одну цитату, и хватит, обещаю. В качестве вывода я использую изречение Софокла: «Не родиться совсем — удел лучший». Примерно о том же говорит и Шопенгауэр: «Если ближайшая и непосредственная цель нашей жизни не есть страдание, то наше существование представляет самое бестолковое и нецелесообразное явление». И добавляет: «Хотя каждое отдельное несчастье и представляется исключением, но несчастье вообще — есть правило». Да, знаю, уже две цитаты, но идея общая: так и есть, мы живем в худшем из возможных миров.

Далее >>

Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill (2020)

Jerry Seinfeld: Why are your friends so annoying? The people you have chosen to be with in life. It makes no sense. You'd get rid of all of 'em in a second... if it wasn't even a bigger pain in the ass to find new people, learn about their annoying problems that they never do anything about... change the names and numbers in your phone, delete the old contacts. "Ah, the hell with it. I'll ride it out with these idiots. It's the same meals, holidays, and movies anyway. What's the difference who I'm with?"

Jerry Seinfeld: "Just wanna be out." This is out. People talk about goin' out. ... Well... this is it. ... Now, the good thing about being out is you don't have to be out for long. Just long enough to get the next feeling, which you're all gonna get. And that feeling is, "I gotta be gettin' back."

Jerry Seinfeld: Wherever you are, really, anywhere in life, at some point, you gotta get the hell outta there.

Woman in the Audience: We love you!
Jerry Seinfeld: Thank you, sweetheart. I love you too. This is, in fact, my favorite type of intimate relationship. I love you, you love me, and we will never meet.

Jerry Seinfeld: Never feel bad that your life sucks. The greatest lesson you can learn in life: "Sucks" and "great" are pretty close. They're not that different.

Jerry Seinfeld: I don't like the great restaurants. I don't like great anything. I'm looking for not bad.

Jerry Seinfeld: "Sucks" and "great" are the only two ratings people even give to anything anymore.

Jerry Seinfeld: What is the idea of the buffet? "Well, things are bad. How could we make it worse? Why don't we put people that are already struggling with portion control... into some kind of debauched, Caligula food orgy of unlimited human consumption? Let's make the entrance a chocolate-syrup water park slide."

Jerry Seinfeld: People do not do well in an unsupervised eating environment.

Jerry Seinfeld: People are building death-row last meal wish lists on these plates. It's like a perfect working model of all their emotional problems and personal difficulties.

Jerry Seinfeld: What else is annoying in the world, besides everything?

Jerry Seinfeld: We are not separating from the phone. It's a part of us. Now, who are you with no phone? What access to information do you have? What you can remember?... What'll you do without your pictures? Are you gonna describe what you saw? That doesn't work for us. We don't wanna talk to anybody that doesn't have a phone. That's why it's called an iPhone. It's half myself, half phone.

Jerry Seinfeld: I don't even know what the purpose of people is anymore. I think the only reason people still exist is phones need pockets to ride around in.

---

Jerry Seinfeld: I used to think Uber was on my phone so I could get around. Then I started thinking maybe they put Uber on the phone because that makes me take the phone, 'cause the phone is using me to get around. Who's really the Uber in this big prostitution ring? I'm the little bitch carrying the phone. The cars are the hos, picking up strangers off the street all night. And the phone's the big pimp of the whole thing, telling the drivers, "You just get who I tell ya to get. I'll handle the money."

Jerry Seinfeld: We call it a phone. We don't even use it as a phone. Nobody's talkin' on the phone. Once they gave you the option, you could talk or type, talkin' ended that day. It's over. Talking is obsolete. It's antiquated.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why would I wanna get information from a face when I could get it from a nice, clean screen?

Jerry Seinfeld: The phones keep getting smarter. Why don't we? Why are people on voice mail still telling me to wait for the beep? It's the 21st goddamn century! I think we're all up to speed on the beep.

Jerry Seinfeld: I love being in my sixties. It's my favorite decade of human life so far. When you're in your sixties, people ask you to do somethin', you just say no. No reason, no excuse, no explanation. I can't wait for my seventies. I don't even think I'll answer. I've seen those people. You just wave when you're in your seventies.

Jerry Seinfeld: I like this time. It's relaxing. I don't wanna grow. I don't wanna change. I don't want to improve in anything. I don't want to expand my interests, meet anyone, or learn anything I don't already know. I don't lie in restaurants anymore...

Jerry Seinfeld: Woman says, "I can't believe you're doing this." Man says, "Doing what?" Woman starts crying. Man says, "I didn't do anything." Woman says, "Exactly." So, it's a bit of a chess game, isn't it? Except, the board is flowing water... and all the chess pieces are made of smoke.

Jerry Seinfeld: Avoidance is the male domestic instinct. Golf, the ultimate avoidance activity. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrational, so time-consuming, the word "golf" could only possibly stand for: "get out, leave family."

Jerry Seinfeld: All fathers essentially dress in the clothing style of the last good year of their lives. Whatever a man was wearing around the time he got married, he freezes that moment in fashion history and rides it out to the end.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Sex Education #2.7

Otis: We had sex without a condom?!

Eric: But you are not a virgin anymore! What?That's exciting, right?
Otis: It's not. Sex has consequences.

Miss Sands: No one has anything to say? Fine. You will circle every "A" in the paper until one of you owns up.
Maeve: That's not very productive, miss.
Miss Sands: Neither is slut-shaming your teacher. Get circling, girls. I'll be back to check on you.

Pharmacist: I can't sell it to you.
Otis: Why not?
Pharmacist: You don't have a vagina, sir.

Otis: I also want you to know if you are pregnant and chose to keep the baby, I'll quit school, get a job and provide for you both.

Pharmacist: That'll be £25.
Ruby: It's his penis, he's paying for it.

Viv: You guys are such clichés. Except for you, Lily. You're genuinely weird.
Olivia: What category are you in, Pythagoras, other than freak?
Viv: The really, really intelligent one.

---

Miss Sands: Anyone have anything to admit?... You can circle the "I"s next.

Mr. Hendricks: How long have you got?
Miss Sands: I gave them an impossible assignment about female solidarity, they won't finish for ages.
Mr. Hendricks: You're so evil.
Miss Sands: Say it again.

Eric: We can't touch each other in church.

Otis: You did give me consent, right? I'm kind of worried you didn't.

Otis: Was I... Was I okay at the sex bit? ....
Ruby: You weren't great, but you weren't terrible. You kept asking me if I was okay.
Otis: It's important to check in.
Ruby: It was every ten seconds.

Lily: I think if I had an extra arm growing in between my legs... I might want to show everyone too.

Jakob: I feel like I don't know him at all, like... like I've got a stranger living in my house.
Jean: I think we can't ever truly know these creatures that we created.

Jakob: Talk to him. That's all you can do.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Suits

Love, Death & Robots 1×4

Jack: I'm working on Carnigore, she ain't battle ready.
Helen: Come on, Jake, she ain't never gonna be perfect. Just get her out there.
Jack: Carnigore's a work of art, woman. You don't just march it into battle.
Helen: You ain't no Michelangelo, Jake. You know that, right?
Jack: I'm more of a Da Vinci, 'cause I got a handle on the aesthetics and the mechanics.

Crazy Mel: Shit! Just the three of us? Well, at least I'll die young and beautiful.

Hank: Yeah. "Quit your job," they said. "Become a farmer." Never fucking mentioned the goddamn giant fucking insects!

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

The Sense of an Ending (2017)

Tony Webster: I'm not very interested in my school days and feel no special nostalgia for them. ... In those days, we imagined ourselves as being in a holding pen, waiting to be released into our lives. ... And when that moment would come, we would be at university. How were we to know that our lives had already begun, and our release would only be into a larger holding pen? And in time, a larger holding pen.

Tony Webster: When you are young, you want your emotions to be like the ones you read about in books. You want them to overturn your life and create a new reality. But as that second hand insists on speeding up and time delivers us all too quickly into middle age, and then old age, that's when you want something a little milder, don't you? You want your emotions to support your life as it has become. You want them to tell you that everything is going to be okay. And is there anything wrong with that?

Adrian Finn: I don't find the historian's need to ascribe responsibility a particularly fruitful arena, sir.
Mr. Hunt: Care to elaborate?
Adrian Finn: Historians yearn for an answer to the question of who's to blame for this event or for that atrocity, but... I don't know, sir. Sometimes it seems to me it is impossible to know.
Mr. Hunt: Go on.
Adrian Finn: Well, Patrick Lagrange, sir, said that, "History is the certainty produced at the point when the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation."
Young Tony: It's the lies of victors, sir!
Mr. Hunt: As long as you understand that it is also the delusions of the defeated.

Adrian Finn: Take Dobson's suicide, sir...
Mr. Hunt: Okay...
Adrian Finn: We are told Dobson came to take his own life, perhaps when he understood his girlfriend was pregnant.
Mr. Hunt: Finn!.. Dobson's death is a private matter.
Adrian Finn: No... it's also a historical matter. The point I'm trying to make, sir, is that nothing can now be known in the absence of Dobson's own testimony. We... we may never know the truth. And... no amount of intellectual posturing can alter that. Do you see the problem, sir?

Veronica Ford: Hello, Anthony.
Tony Webster: You look well.
Veronica Ford: You're bald.
Tony Webster: Well, at least it proves I'm not an alcoholic.
Veronica Ford: Do people think you're an alcoholic?

Tony Webster: Uh... you may be interested to know, you probably won't, but I was planning on making an apology to you. For being insensitive, being a bore, for being a monumental pain in the arse. Maybe it's too little too late, but I hope not.

Tony Webster: How often do we tell our own life story? How often do we adjust, embellish, make sly cuts? And the longer life goes on, the fewer are those around to tell us our life is not our life. It is just a story we've told about our lives. A story about our lives told to others, but mainly to ourselves.

Tony Webster: "... I think of everything that has happened in my life... and how little I have allowed to happen. I, who neither won nor lost. Who avoided being hurt and called it a capacity for survival. ..."

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The Vat of Acid Episode

Rick and Morty 4x8

Rick: So. We should be in and out. Simple exchange, not even really an adventure. And if anything goes wrong... which it won't... jump into the same vat of acid I jump into.
Morty: Okay. Wait... Wait, what? Wha-What vat of acid?

Rick: I pre-scouted this location and placed a vat of fake acid amongst the real ones. It's got air hoses and a compartment of bones at the bottom. If things go wrong, which they won't, we jump into the vat of acid, and I'll release the bones, they'll float up... What is this face you're making?
Morty: Aren't you an inventor?
Rick: Yeah, what part of a fake acid vat with built-in air supply and quick-release bones isn't inventive enough for you, and when did my job become pitching you ideas?

Morty: All right! Let's just do this. I have English homework.
Rick: You're still learning English? That's the language you speak. How dumb are you?

Rick: You brought fake crystals and a gun?
Boss: Beats real crystals and no gun.
Rick: Okay, but does anything beat fake crystals and a fake arm?

Morty: A vat of fake acid! Are you dying of dementia?

Rick: Wh-When did you get so cocky?
Morty: Tonight! Tonight, Rick! The night I saw you fail!
Rick: Because you ruined it!
Morty: It was pre-ruined!

Morty: Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk.
Rick: Hey, save some of these atomic-age beatnik zingers for your English homework, Bukowski.

Rick: There's no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. It's about execution.

Morty: Oh, so you don't do anything unless it's original?
Rick: I don't do time travel.

Morty: You can't do it.
Rick: There is nothing I cannot do.
Morty: A place-saving video-game thing!
Rick: You're a piece of [BLEEP].
Morty: Just say you can't do it!
Rick: I won't!
Morty: You won't say you can't?
Rick: [BLEEP] you, Morty!
Morty: [BLEEP] you!

Morty: You're a great inventor. We just got a couple things to work on. Let's start with inventing a little honesty. Sound good?

Morty: Holy [BLEEP]. You did it! You did it!
Rick: I did it, you little son of a bitch!
Morty: How did you...
Rick: Morty, do you want me to explain, or you wanna go have some fun?

Morty: Oh, my God. Rick, this is... this is... thank you!
Rick: You can thank me later. Go nuts.
Morty: Best grandpa ever!
Rick: That's all I ever wanted to hear.

---

Goldenfold: Bold move, Morty Smith. But can you deliver?
Morty: Holy [BLEEP]. I can do anything.
Goldenfold: Yes, with math, anything is possible. Except a long-term relationship with a woman that calls you a warlock for using a phone.

Morty: I think you invented a little lesson for me along the way. Living without consequences is great, but then I started wondering... what am I living for? What am I building? If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. And then it hit me. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences, y'know? You feel me?

Morty: What're-What-What are you talking about?
Rick: You did everything you did. It all happened.
Morty: No. But the... the respawn button. The... The do-over.
Rick: It's not a do-over. You just did it. Over and over.

Rick: You see, Morty, you weren't saving your place and going back. I don't respect time travel. If "Ant Man and the Wasp" can do it, I'm not interested.

Rick: It wasn't so much a do-over as it was isolating a moment in time, splitting your probable selves, and shunting you into to into a near-duplicate, equally probable reality, transporting you into it at the moment of parallel determination. Pretty nifty. Time crystals are a bitch and a half, but the only real hitch is that there was already a you in each probable dimension. So we had to solve for that.

Rick: That's right, you little bitch! It's "The Prestige"! You "Prestige'd" yourself!
Morty: Rick, how many did I kill?
Rick: You tell me, Morty. Every time you reset to smell Jessica's hair, every time you relived a satisfying fart, that's how many Mortys you've incinerated, you greedy little junkie.
Morty: Oh, God... even those times when I...
Rick: Especially those times.

Rick: It's over, Morty. Feel this. Take this in. This is God.
Morty: Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh... Why would you do this?
Rick: My hands are clean, Morty. I gave you a choice. You could listen to me explain, in great scientific detail, how it all works... or you could have fun. Did you have fun, Morty?

Rick: Well, Morty, I'd say we've invented a little honesty today. How about you?

Morty: What? What is this?
Rick: Wow. Looks like a SWAT Team, some drug dealers, some grassroots MeToo activists, the ACLU... Jesus, Morty, the AARP?
Morty: I don't wanna talk about it!
Rick: The NAACP, GamerGate... Morty, is that Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor?

Rick: Seems like there's no way out of this one. Unless...
Morty: God damn it.
Rick: Yeah, I guess it is, uh... what did you call it?
Morty: Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"? God damn it.
Rick: Say the vat is good.
Morty: The vat is good.
Rick: Kiss the vat.

Sonia Sotomayor: Are we here for justice... or something else? "Though justice be thy plea, consider this, that in the course of justice... none of us should see salvation. We do pray for mercy."
Rick: "Merchant of Venice," nice.

Rick: Don't ever make fun of me again. Ever!

Rick: All right, c'mon Morty, let's go home.
Morty: Wait, what? This... This isn't our reality?
Rick: What, you think I'd waste our home teaching you a [BLEEP] lesson? I am gonna miss this place, though... Johnny Carson's still alive and on the air, 9/11 never happened, and Rocky Road ice cream has peanut butter instead of marshmallows.
Morty: The fu... What? The marshmallows are the best part!

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Beg, Bribe, Bully

Billions 5×3

Gordie Axelrod: Gordie Axelrod only blows up shit when he wants to.

Bobby Axelrod: Yeah, you have to stand in front of a painting. Feel what it does to you.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': I'm sure feeling something. What is it?
Bobby Axelrod: Oh. Guy's wrestling with the big themes.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Sex, drugs, and Cocoa Puffs?
Bobby Axelrod: Close...

Bobby Axelrod: Disturbing work, huh?
Mike Prince: It really gets into the weighty questions.
Bobby Axelrod: Mm. You know, what caught my eye is the humility in the face of inevitable decay. Something you missed, no doubt.
Mike Prince: Ahh, well, I'll have plenty of time to find it when it's hanging in my beach house.

Bobby Axelrod: Just do the next thing.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': Which is?
Bobby Axelrod: "I don't paint for money" means nobody has paid me enough yet. So, if you can't buy the art... buy the artist.

Kate Sacker: What happens when you give me a job?
Chuck Rhoades: Like Hector Elizondo in The Flamingo Kid: You cut a joint, it stays.
Kate Sacker: I have no idea what any of those words mean. But yes. I get the damn job done.
Chuck Rhoades: See, he's a plumber... And, uh, he works with his hands. A pipe joint is, um...

Kate Sacker: Well, I did it. We'll have about 5 million coming in.
Chuck Rhoades: Praise be. Yep. Just like Elizondo in Kid.
Kate Sacker: I'll take that as a compliment.
Chuck Rhoades: Oh, that's how it was intended. If I'd wanted to insult you, I'd have called you Big Sid.

Robert Beaufort: You wanted to talk banks?.. Let's talk banks. Axe... you're not getting a bank.

Taylor Mason: How do you appeal to someone whose values, whose entire system of beliefs, is opposed to yours?
Wendy Rhoades: Are you talking about me?
Taylor Mason: Not this time. No.

Taylor Mason: ... But that isn't rational.
Wendy Rhoades: That's the problem with the real world, real people. We're not computers with the software directing the hardware. We're not rational actors.
Taylor Mason: Some of us are.
Wendy Rhoades: Some of us think we are.

Wendy Rhoades: Are you familiar with Jonathan Haidt?
Taylor Mason: The social psychologist.
Wendy Rhoades: Do you believe in God?
Taylor Mason: Um, no.
Wendy Rhoades: A simple transaction. Ten bucks, for your eternal soul. Oh, and you need to sign it over on paper. Do you take the deal?... And that pause tells you everything you need to know about people.

Wendy Rhoades: The moment when convictions run headlong into layers of psychological baggage that evolution and social convention have wrapped them in. You don't believe in the religious concept of a soul, yet you still hesitate at selling yours. There's still that gap between rational thought and rational action. Between software and hardware.

Robert Beaufort: I don't want to offend. May I speak freely?
Bobby Axelrod: Please do.
Robert Beaufort: Even you can't bribe, beg, and bully your way into a bank. Your past legal troubles make you too fragrant to clear the federal background dive.

---

Bobby Axelrod: The fucking bankers almost bankrupted the country...
Robert Beaufort: And they got even richer when they did it. But they got their licenses first. They were smart enough not to stick their shmekels into the tushies of the average American until they actually had a goddamn bank charter.
Todd Krakow: As in all things, sequence matters.

Bobby Axelrod: I get it. Like Senator Geary in Two. And, as Il Padrino did in that picture, let me make you an offer...

Headmaster Kessel: It might seem like a tough lesson. But no matter how hard you try... I will not allow you to put a price on Gordie's soul.

Bobby Axelrod: Of course I defend you in front of the Headmaster... never speak against the family... but between us, you really fucked up. The risk/reward ratio is off. And there are better ways to impress a girl... than putting your whole future at stake. Look. I'm not mad that you ran a scheme, I'm mad you didn't game it out. Second law of thermodynamics, Gordie...
Gordie Axelrod: Total entropy of a system...
Bobby Axelrod: No. The price of your actions. Now we have to ruin a headmaster. A good man.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': What a show of parentage... I have so much to learn from you both, about communication between a father and a son.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': That was... um... You ever try talking to a 14-year-old girl on FaceTime?
Bobby Axelrod: Goddamn, I hope that was one of your kids.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': My youngest. It was rough.

Bobby Axelrod: Don't beat yourself up on this, Wags. Fathering ain't easy.

Bobby Axelrod: Do I fix this for him? How do I not fuck my kid up more?
Wendy Rhoades: That's the question every decent parent asks every day. Let's say you take the laissez-faire approach, let the market have its way with Gordie. He learns there are consequences. Gets suspended, probably expelled. Ends up at a lower-tier prep school or New York Military Academy. Goes to Colby instead of Harvard. There's... There's no shame in that... I mean, unless for the kid who's going mini-Winklevoss at 14... it's what he set his sights on. Then it's crushing. And maybe he blames you for the consequence. And that chip on his shoulder turns into a drinking problem by the time he's 28... Or he blames himself, accepts the consequences, self-worth gets dinged up pretty good...
Bobby Axelrod: And winds up with a drinking problem by the time he's 28.
Wendy Rhoades: And then there's you... Can you stay the course... with whatever you decide? Because if you dive in after him only sometimes, he won't know how or when to swim, or breathe, or trust. It's got to be tough love all the way... which could work out great, he could turn out great... or the interventionist approach forevermore.
Bobby Axelrod: So the question is, do I have the stomach to let him dangle?

Kate Sacker: You know that line from Hamilton...
Chuck Rhoades: You know I know 'em all...

Bobby Axelrod: Your headmaster was kind enough to cede me the mic for this morning's lesson, and I'm here to give you a little bit about what this school has been holding back from you... the goddamn truth about Darwin, scarcity and the world you actually live in.
     It's not the warm, swaddled place your Headmaster and your parents have told you about. It's populated by people like me who will TEAR YOU APART.
     Nature didn't select me. I selected myself by harnessing my nature.
     My son wasn't pulling a prank. He was trying to earn. And if he broke the school's code, it's because the code is wrong. Asked him to go against the DNA which is telling each of you to be greedy, yes, be hungry. Subjugate and conquer. 'Cause that's who we are. That's what we are. Capitalism harnesses that better than any other economic model on Earth. Everything we have is because of capitalism. 'Cause someone had an incentive to get up off his ass, to out-invent, to out-earn, yes, and to subjugate others less capable, less intelligent, less ambitious, less lucky... to make those capitalistic dreams come true.

Chuck Rhoades: Alrighty. Kids this is your new... uh, my sister. Your aunt.
Eva: She's so small, how can she be my aunt?
Wendy Rhoades: Well. The world can be a funny place, sweetie. It can...
Rhoades, Sr.: The world is whatever the hell you make it.

Sara: That should have been our score and you know it.
Taylor Mason: But it's... not the right play.
Sara: Not right? We're at work, not a fucking climate rally. You are only halfway in on this. And you know where that leaves you? Vietnam.

Mike Wagner 'Wags': What is this?
George Wagner: It's everything. It's the whole world. Beyond. Dad, I've made my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And I'm here to share Him with you.

Bobby Axelrod: I'm not asking for your soul. Just your next eight paintings...
Nico Tanner: ... You know, the place does get good light during the day...
Bobby Axelrod: Sure does.

Bobby Axelrod: If you stick around, what you'll see is: I know greatness. And that's what this is. Take a bite. Tell me I'm wrong.
Nico Tanner: Mmm. Mmm. Wow. Fuck. That's amazing.
Bobby Axelrod: You are not wrong. That's what you'll learn rolling with me. I'm never wrong... Almost never... Really never. Dig in. To all of it. You're with me now.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

The Loved One (1965)

Immigration Officer: "Dennis Barlow. Profession..." A.I.D., huh?
Dennis Barlow: Yes, Artificial Insemination Donor. It was just a job I had for a while. Actually, I'm a poet.
Immigration Officer: Poet? An English poet?
Dennis Barlow: Well, yes, I am English.
Immigration Officer: One of them beatnik poets, huh?
Dennis Barlow: Oh, beatnik? No. No, I'm not a beatnik.
Immigration Officer: You got them Beatle haircuts, haven't you?
Dennis Barlow: A Beatle haircut? No, I don't s... It's an ordinary English haircut.

Dennis Barlow: It was either Los Angeles or Calcutta, and I thought, well, what the hell?

Sir Francis Hinsley: I think I'll just have my usual Deep Dish Lolita... and iced tea with a sprig of mint, please.
Dennis Barlow: I'll have Breast of Squab Brigitte... and the Goldwater Nut Flip.

Sir Francis Hinsley: The climate here suits me admirably... the people here are so kind and generous. They talk entirely for their own pleasure. And they never expect you to listen. Remember that, dear boy. It's the secret of social ease in this country.

Whispering Glades Hostess: Was your loved one a relative?
Dennis Barlow: Yes. He was my uncle.
Whispering Glades Hostess: In that case, he must have been Caucasian.
Dennis Barlow: Certainly not. He was English.
Whispering Glades Hostess: Oh, that's all right. English is Caucasian. We prefer that word at Whispering Glades. It's much less offensive than "white."
Dennis Barlow: Well, I can assure you that he was... He was quite white.
Whispering Glades Hostess: The Blessed Reverend has to consider the feelings of the waiting ones. In time of trial, they prefer to be with their own people.

Aimee Thanatogenous: What did you have in mind? Inhumement, entombment, inurnment, immurement? Some people just lately have preferred ensarcophagusment. It's very individual.
Dennis Barlow: Well, I think we'd better just have him buried.

Aimee Thanatogenous: Now, was there anything especially characteristic of your loved one?.. Did he smoke a pipe, perhaps? Some people prefer that their loved ones have a pipe in mouth. I mean, of course, if they smoked one during life. Then, there was a lady who made her leave-taking holding a telephone.
Dennis Barlow: He did carry an umbrella at times. But I don't suppose...
Aimee Thanatogenous: Well, if it were closed.

---

Mr. Starker: Now, these are lead-coated steels. Medium price range. The Silent Night Special. And very special it is, too, if I may say so. Waterproof, of course.
Dennis Barlow: Waterproof?
Mr. Starker: All our units are waterproof. This offers maximum protection for a unit in the middle price range. Now, here is your handsome Rest King in 7-gauge steel... with a choice of finish in eight color combinations. This unit is guaranteed to give maximum protection. It's moisture-proof, Mr. Barlow. And here are your bronzes. They are dampness-proof.
Dennis Barlow: Dampness-proof?
Mr. Starker: Not merely waterproof, nor moisture-proof, Mr. Barlow... but dampness-proof! Now then, in addition your Emperor model features not a rayon or crepe interior... but an all-silk interior. Tell me, Mr. Barlow, was your uncle a sensitive person?
Dennis Barlow: Yes, I suppose he was.
Mr. Starker: Rayon chafes, you know. Personally, I find it really quite abrasive.
Dennis Barlow: Well, then, I think, then, I'll take the Emperor model.
Mr. Starker: Wonderful, Mr. Barlow. Wonderful... Now then, Mr. Barlow, have you given any thought to exterior designations? I can give you our Eternal Flame in either perpetual eternal or standard eternal.
Dennis Barlow: What is the difference, actually?
Mr. Starker: Well, with standard eternal, your flame burns only during visiting hours. It is shut down at night. With your perpetual eternal, your flame is in service 24 hours a day.
Dennis Barlow: Well, I think the perpetual eternal, wouldn't you?
Mr. Starker: Oh, yes. Yes. Propane or butane, Mr. Barlow?
Dennis Barlow: What?
Mr. Starker: Propane burns bluer.
Dennis Barlow: Oh, well, nicer, I think. Don't you?
Mr. Starker: Definitely! Marvelous. Simply marvelous, Mr. Barlow.

The Guru Brahmin: Okay. "Dear Aimée: The feeling you described for your fresh friend does not sound like love... but still remember, love is a slow-growing seed, which sometimes does not flower... until after marriage and commonly shared experiences. Furthermore, you silly bitch, whichever one you get is much too good for you." Strike out the "bitch." "Examine carefully the intentions of this glib foreign poet."

Aimee Thanatogenous: An American would despise himself for living off his wife!
Dennis Barlow: I'm English. We have none of these prejudices in more developed civilizations.

Dennis Barlow: Why don't I visit you tonight? At your home? I mean, until you see a person's home... you really don't know them.

Aimee Thanatogenous: Well, this is where I live... You see, Dennis, I want to surround myself with beauty. I don't care about what some people call comfort.

Dennis Barlow: Isn't it rather dangerous?
Aimee Thanatogenous: Dangerous?
Dennis Barlow: I mean, isn't it liable to fall down?
Aimee Thanatogenous: Yes. I suppose it is. Come on out. Isn't it enchanting?
Dennis Barlow: Yes. It's absolutely breathtaking.
Aimee Thanatogenous: It's like another world. You know, some people think of death as a negative thing. But you see how wrong they are, don't you? What could be more beautiful and more thrilling than eternal rest?

Aimee Thanatogenous: But Whispering Glades...
Wilbur Glenworthy: Yes, yes, that was all very well in the light of its time. But now all things must change. We're a nation on the move. Death. Death has become a middle-class business. There's no future in it. Soon there shall rise from these grounds... a self-contained city of glass and alloy for our senior citizens.
Aimee Thanatogenous: What about the loved ones?
Wilbur Glenworthy: To the stars, my dear. In a celestial service befitting this grand space age of ours. The loved ones shall soar about the heavens in an orbit of eternal grace. Resurrection now!

Aimee Thanatogenous: Xanadu Falls... Shadowland, Poets' Corner, those are eternal.
Wilbur Glenworthy: No. No, nothing is eternal. All must change... including a young woman's beauty.
Aimee Thanatogenous: No!
Wilbur Glenworthy: Don't be afraid. Beauty occurs in many forms.

Wilbur Glenworthy: Beauty in every form. In every form! Beauty in every form.

Wilbur Glenworthy: Resurrection... Yes, China may brainwash... Russia may educate... but America breeds its genius. Resurrection. Now!

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Promortyus

Rick and Morty 4x7

Rick: You don't get to tell me what to look at. I've seen your pornhub account. Also, who makes a pornhub account?
Morty: The algorithm learns your preferences better that way. Plus if you get in kind of a cool enough relationship. You can sort of follow each other. And check out each other's kinks, you know?
Rick: Alright, god damn, sold.

Rick: Morty, relax. They're face-hugging parasites. I don't think their society's gonna be that hard to navigate.

Rick: Seems like a self-destructive life cycle.
Morty: Is that gonna happen to us?
Rick: You feel an egg in your stomach?
Morty: No.
Rick: Well, glass half full.

Rick: Congratulations on making it into print media. Real bright future there.

Rick: God, was I at least rich? I mean, d-d-did I at least sell out. And sell vitamins or something?
Morty: Rick, I've watched enough pornhub to know. What a studio apartment looks like.
Rick: God damn!

Rick: Alright, [BLEEP] it, run!

Morty: Oh, aw, man! How big is this city?!
Rick: I know, it's like pick a lane. Are you face huggers or industrialists?

Rick: Damn, feels kinda good when there's no guilt, huh?
Morty: Yeah, it's... It's like in "star wars."
Rick: Yeah, just like in "star wars." Go nuts!

Rick: Thanks, Morty. I mean that. Thank you. Sometimes, I get a little in my head, you know?
Morty: Hey, man, that head's a good place to be. Just remember to let me in sometimes, you know?
Rick: Will do, buddy.

Rick: ..... Honestly, I'm proud of us for not.
Morty: Totally. It would've been cheap.
Rick: Yeah, real low-hanging fruit, and we're batter than that. Pearl Harbor, on the other hand...

Beth: So, you did a 9/11?
Morty: Almost did a 9/11. We... we went with a Pearl Harbor.
Rick: We're pretty classy.
Beth: Why were either of those an option?
Rick: Ask the Saudis.
Morty: Wow. Damn.
Rick: Yeah, getting political. I'm political now. How 'bout you, Jerry?

Rick: She's sleepy?! What the hell was that?!
Morty: I didn't see you trying anything!
Rick: The [BLEEP] bed isn't better than not [BLEEP] the bed!
Morty: Where's Summer?!

Rick: I don't sequel. It's called integrity.

---

Rick: Sorry, Morty, we tried pussin' it. Time to go in hot.

Morty: Shouldn't we be finding Summer?
Rick: Oh, right, gee, sorry. I got caught up again. God, d-do I need to take more adderall, Or am I taking too much adderall?

Rick: Man, really shouldn't have gone with swords.
Morty: I know. My wrists are killing me.
Rick: Flame-throwers next time, for sure.
Morty: Can I get a laser whip?
Rick: Okay, but there's no way you don't chop your dick off.

Rick: You're in a cape, Summer. How bad could it be? No bad story ends with a cape.

Summer: What was that?
— That is called responsibility. He was part of our greatest generation. He understood that what you need to do is suck on a face, Shit an egg, and die.
Summer: Wait, so, all you do is live half an hour, shit eggs, and die?
— Yes. We love it. I'll do it right now.
glorzo

Rick: Alright, look, uh, this been brewing for a while. I'm not gonna win any popularity contests by saying it, But here's... Here's the world as I see it. I mean, look, we are designed to suck on faces and lay eggs. Life is life, and that's the way it goes.

Morty: Come on, man. What is this. You don't get to do this to me! We were in eggs together!
Rick: Oh, [BLEEP], since we were in eggs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, now you respect, like, the biological institutions now? [BLEEP] you! All you care about is "progress" and society and skyscrapers. You don't care about [BLEEP] biology.

Rick: Oh, my god, I... I wish we could suck on each other.
Morty: I wanna suck on you, too.
Rick: I'm gonna suck you so hard.
Morty: Suck me.
Rick: C-c-can we do this? A-a-are we allowed to do this?
Morty: I don't care. I just want you. [BLEEP] all of this. Let's just get the hell outta here. And be whatever the [BLEEP] we want. That's evolution. That's progress.
Rick: I want a family. Can we have a family?
Morty: Yeah...

Rick: Mother Summer!

Rick: Maybe we, uh... maybe we don't tell people about this one.
Morty: Did we at least learn something?
Summer: That we suck and everyone sucks?
Rick: I guess that counts.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Never Ricking Morty

Rick and Morty 4x6

Morty: How did you not recognize me? Didn't you create the disguises?
Rick: When I create shit, it works, Morty. It's called being talented.

Rick: It's not a real train, it's a story device. Literally. A literal literary device quite literally metaphorically containing us.
Morty: A simulation.
Rick: Worse. An anthology.

Rick: Wow, you are just... ladies and gentlemen, the Jackie Chan of human shielding. Who takes the time to get this good at... [BLEEP] this.

Rick: Of course this thing is just a [BLEEP] circle. You'd think it was so God damn complicated...

Morty: I don't like how meta this is getting, Rick.
Rick: Shut up, Morty. You're 14. You watch videos of people on YouTube reacting to [BLEEP] YouTube. I'll be the judge of when we get too meta.

Rick: Keep moving. We have to get to the return threshold before the ticking clock on your suit gets to zero.
Why would you put ticking clock...
Rick: Because if it's too easy to get there, we'll never get there. If you don't want to be meta stop, deconstructing shit.

Rick: Morty, do you know what the Bechdel Test is?
Morty: The what?
Rick: For God's sake, Morty, the formula for measuring female agency in a story proposed by lesbian cartoonist Allison... what the hell are they teaching you in that school?!
Morty: Other stuff!
Rick: Then you've killed us both!
Morty: Why is lesbian part of her job title?!
Rick: Oh, now you're progressive?!

Rick: Morty, Morty. Two women. They both have to have names and talk to each other about something... other than a man...

Ruth Bader Ginsburg: I'm that Supreme Court lady, and you [BLEEP] did it.

Rick: Great job, Morty. A feminist masterpiece. Hey, look. Guess who's got two penises and all the agency?
Story Lord: Rick and Morty.

Rick: I should've known you were behind this, and I did.

---

Morty: Who is this guy?
Rick: Ugh. He's like a Matrix Space Frasier.

Story Lord: You of all people know, Rick, there can be no destination without a journey.
Rick: I don't know that at all. I regularly teleport.
Story Lord: Oh, of course. No rules for you. Spiraling through the multiverse, burping semi-improvised dialogue about how nothing matters, so we may as well pull out our [BLEEP] and rub them on fate's glaring teeth like we're brushing fate's teeth, but we're using your gross, dirty [BLEEP]

Rick: Morty, never forget the highest truth of all... you're getting your ass kicked on a train.

Story Lord: Don't you want to see how your story ends?!

Morty: Holy [BLEEP], Rick. What do we... There... there... there's now way out!
Rick: You're right, Morty. Sometimes it does seem like there's no way out. Like it's hopeless. But remember, there's always someone there for us.
Morty: Who?
Rick: My best friend and personal savior, Jesus Christ.
Morty: What?! You... you don't believe in God.
Rick: But He believes in us, Morty. You know, I thought I was the inventor, but the greatest invention of all is the free gift of Eternal Life.
Morty: Is this... are you [BLEEP] with me?
Rick: Oh, trust me, Morty. I've done plenty of effed up stuff in my life. But it's never too late to accept Christ. Jesus is always knocking at the door. All we have to do is open it and let Him into our hearts.
Morty: How?
Rick: I'm so glad you asked, Morty. Just close your eyes and go to Him in prayer. Like this. Heavenly Father...

Story Lord: What the [BLEEP] is all of this?!
Rick: Greatest story ever told, Story Lord.
Story Lord: No, it's not. It's awful!
Jesus Christ: I beg your pardon?

Morty: Wh-what's gonna happen to Story Lord?
Rick: He gets to spend eternity in every writer's hell... the Bible.
Morty: I don't know. Some people actually like that stuff. Seems kind of cynical. I just don't like taking cheap shots, you know?
Rick: Cheap shots? Morty, we were literally saved by Jesus Christ. Tell me in any way how that's offensive.

Rick: You did the most important thing. You... you bought something.
Morty: What?
Rick: You bought something. With money. God. I love money so much, Morty.
Morty: Are you being sarcastic?
Rick: Merchandise, Morty. Your only purpose in life is to buy and consume merchandise. And you did it. You went into a store... an actual honest to God store... and you bought something. You didn't ask questions or raise ethical complaints. You... you just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said "Yes, daddy, please." And I'm... I'm so proud of you. I only wish you could've bought more. I... I love buying things so much, Morty.
Morty: Rick, are... are you... do you need to go to the hospital?

Rick: I love you, Morty. Give Grandpa a kiss. Give... give... gimme... give Grandpa a kiss. Lips if you want. What... whatever you're comfortable with. Some cultures do that.

Jesus Christ: So you're saying my father and His kingdom...
Story Lord: Well, yes... it's based on the fusion of a Sumerian god named "Ya" and a Mesopotamian god named "Way."
Jesus Christ: And we're in a toy train?
Story Lord: Yes. It's enough to really make you question all of existence, isn't it?

Morty: Oh, man, I'm sorry, Rick. I guess I'll return it.
Rick: Return... Are you insane? Did you hear nothing I said? Buy another one, Morty. Consume, Morty! Nobody's out there shopping with this [BLEEP] virus. Where's your [BLEEP] wallet?!

— The Story Train. Available now in The Citadel of Ricks. Buy it ironically. Buy it sincerely. Just buy it. Not buying it is an act of buying it. Buy it now. Look it up. It's real. www.story-train.com. On the Internet. It's there. Buy it. Buy the train. We want you to buy the train.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Ronin (1998)

Deirdre: What were you doing back here?
Sam: Lady, I never walk into a place I don't know how to walk out of.
Deirdre: Then why would you get into that van?
Sam: You know the reason.

Spence: You ever kill anybody?
Sam: I hurt somebody's feelings once.

Sam: You labor or management?
Vincent: If I was management, I wouldn't have given you a cigarette.

Deirdre: I see you're reviewin' our problem...
Sam: Well, either you're part of the problem, part of the solution or you're just part of the landscape.
Deirdre: Indeed.

Sam: The only thing is that the map... the map is not the territory. Let's go look at the ground.

It would be nice to do something...
Sam: We are doing something. We're sitting here, waiting.

Sam: So how did you get started in this business?
Deirdre: A wealthy scoundrel seduced and betrayed me.
Sam: Same with me. How 'bout that?

Vincent: What do you want for Christmas?
Sam: My two front teeth.
Vincent: May your wish be granted.

Sam: Everyone's your brother until the rent comes due.

---

Vincent: Are you sure you can do this?
Sam: Yeah. I once removed a guy's appendix with a grapefruit spoon.

Sam: If you don't mind, I'm gonna pass out.

Jean-Pierre: The 47 ronin, do you know it?.. 47 samurai whose master was betrayed and killed by another lord. They became ronin, masterless samurai, disgraced by another man's treachery. For three years they plotted, pretending to be thieves, mercenaries, even madmen.
Sam: That I didn't have time to do.
Jean-Pierre: And then one night they struck, slipping into the castle of their lord's betrayer, killing him.
Sam: Nice. I like that. My kind of job.
Jean-Pierre: There's something more. All 47 of them committed seppuku, ritual suicide, in the courtyard of the castle.
Sam: Well, that I don't like so much.
Jean-Pierre: But you understand it?
Sam: What do you mean, I understand it?
Jean-Pierre: The warrior code, the delight in the battle. You understand that, yes? But also something more. You understand there is something outside yourself that has to be served. And when that need is gone, when belief has died, what are you? A man without a master.
Sam: Right now I'm a man without a pay checque.

Jean-Pierre: The ronin could have hired themselves to new masters. They could have fought for themselves. But they chose honor. They chose myth.
Sam: They chose wrong. Seppu... Seppu... what?
Jean-Pierre: Yes, seppuku. Disembowelment. The sword goes in here...

Sam: Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt. That's the first thing they teach you.
Vincent: Who taught you?
Sam: I don't remember. That's the second thing they teach you.

Sam: All good things come to those who wait.

Vincent: So where does he go?
Sam: You go to what you know...

Vincent: No questions, no answers. That's the business we're in. You accept it and move on. Maybe that's lesson number three.'

--
++ Quotes on the IMDb