The One Where Heckles Dies

Friends 2×3

Ross: So how was Joan?
Chandler: Broke up with her.
Ross: Don't tell me! Because of the big nostril thing?
Chandler: They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.
Monica: Come on, they were not that huge.
Chandler: I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.

Phoebe: There are a lot of things I don't believe in... but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Ross: Such as?
Phoebe: Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa! What, you don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: No. Not really.
Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know. It's just, you know... Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: "Too easy"?! Too... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving... over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.

Ross: Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe... like gravity.
Phoebe: Okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You, uh... You don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Ross: Pushed...

Monica: Would you look at this dump? He hated us!
Rachel: This was his final revenge! Ever seen so much crap!
Chandler: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap.

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Ross: How can you not believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt!
Ross: Pheebs, I've studied evolution my entire adult life. And I can tell you, we've collected fossils from all over the world... that actually show the evolution of different species. I mean, you can literally see them... evolving through time.
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
Ross: You bet! In the U.S., China, Africa, all over!
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
Ross: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Huh... So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why?

Phoebe: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something and I don't?
Ross: No. No, Pheebs, we can't.
Phoebe: Why not? What is this obsessive need you have to make everybody agree with you?

Chandler: What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her... but I dumped her because she pronounces it "supposably"?

Phoebe: Okay, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution. It's just one of the possibilities.
Ross: It's the only possibility!
Phoebe: Ross, could you just open your mind, like, this much? Okay? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat? And up till 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing... until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant... that you can't admit that there's a teeny, tiny possibility... that you could be wrong about this?
Ross: .... There might be... a teeny... tiny... possibility.
Phoebe: I can't believe you caved!
Ross: What?!?!
Phoebe: You just abandoned your whole belief system! Before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you.
Ross: But...
Phoebe: How are you gonna go into work tomorrow? How are you going to face the other science guys? How are you going to face

Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: Okay, you win.

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