The One with Phoebe's Husband

Friends 2×4

Phoebe: For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me. And the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice... to look nice for your gay husband.

Joey: Darn it, we're all out of milk. Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?
Chandler: .... Oh, I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.

Rachel: Let me tell you something. As a woman... there is nothing sexier... than a man who does not want to have sex.
Ross: No kidding.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. In fact, you know what I'd do? I'd wait.
Ross: You'd wait?
Rachel: Yes, absolutely. I would wait... and wait... Then I'd wait some more.
Ross: Really?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if she begs... she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man. That just means it's working.
Ross: Women really want this?
Rachel: More than jewelry.

Chandler: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face... But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right.

Phoebe: I don't understand. I don't understand. How can you be straight? I mean, you're so smart and funny... and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
Duncan: I know. That's what I kept telling myself. But you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
Phoebe: So how long have you known?
Duncan: I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I thought I was supposed to be something else. You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.

Phoebe: I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years... and you think you know him. And then one day he says, "Oh, I'm not gay. "

Woman on Bench: Well, somebody got some last night...
Ross: Twice!

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