The Other Woman

Feud 1×2

& Girl-next-door: Can I please have your autograph? It’s for my grandmother. She’s loved you since she was a kid.

& Joan Crawford: Sometimes you need to hit it square in the jaw.

& Joan Blondell: Two weeks later, Joan signed with Warner’s.
    Joan Crawford: Thank you, Daddy.
    Jack Warner: Oh, come on, Joan. Let’s cut the «Daddy» shit, all right? Might have worked for that fat fuck over at MGM, but you’re working for me now.

& Joan Blondell: Joan was Jack’s message to Bette: You’re not the only bitch in the kennel. And Joan wasn’t too proud to take Bette’s scraps...

& Robert Aldrich: Aw, typical stuff, you know. Bette’s always fighting me for another close-up, Joan’s always fighting me to take it out. But they’re burning up the screen, Jack. You should have paired them years ago.
    Jack Warner: No, thanks. Two world wars were enough.

& Jack Warner: ...And also, I’m not gonna release the picture the way I said I would.... I’m gonna open it bigger. The way no one’s ever done before. A wide release. 400 screens. Ha ha!

& Jack Warner: ’Cause you’re right. They’re burning up the screen together. Bobby, their scenes are fucking electric. They are fucking electric! And let’s face it, after Psycho, horror’s the future, and we got it.

& Jack Warner: No, no, no, there’s got to be more than that, bubbie. You got to keep ’em at each other’s throats. You have to. I’ll make sure their names are in the papers. That’s not a problem. But if you do this, you’ll be able to write your own ticket in this town. L’chaim, bubbeleh.

& Joan Crawford: ...I will sue her if she continues to make comments that are injurious to my ability to earn a living.
    Bette Davis: Ha! Earn a living? Every time you belch, Pepsi gives you ten grand.
    Joan Crawford: How dare you mention Pepsi! Unlike you, it’s good and pure.
    Bette Davis: It’s pure, all right. Pure vodka!

& Olivia de Havilland: But imagine a studio today tried to pit Miss Jane Fonda against Miss Dyan Cannon. I mean, the girls would revolt!
    Joan Blondell: Oh, horseshit. Nothing’s changed. No matter how liberated, women’ll do what they always do when they’re cornered: eat their own and pick their teeth with the bones.

---

& Joan Crawford: Would you like me to read it to you?
Robert Aldrich: «The woman is crazy. I always suspected she had a false front, and now I know for sure. And they’re 34 double Ds.»
Joan Crawford: Are you going to let her get away with this?

& Joan Crawford: Are you writing it down? Good. Miss Davis looks old enough to be my mother. One look at her face and you’d think she hasn’t had a happy day, or night, in her life... Yes, you can quote me. I’m counting on it.

& Jack Warner: This is fantastic footage, Bob. It’s fantastic. I-I mean, you can literally feel the hate steaming off the screen. It’s... It...

& Robert Aldrich: The atmosphere on set’s frosty enough as it is. You sure you want me to stir that pot?
    Jack Warner: What are you, red all of a sudden? You got something against capitalism? Huh?

& Robert Aldrich: What we’re looking at right there is a raw display of the free market. That’s vigorous competition. That’s the American way. The more that they despise each other, the more that each one tries to crush the other one, the better they get!
    Jack Warner: But they’re already good.
    Robert Aldrich: No, they’re great. Great, but they can be greater still.

& Robert Aldrich: Do you think that Wellington was such a hot general? He wasn’t. He was a piker, until he had to go up against Napoleon. And why? Because he hated Napoleon’s guts. He hated him. It was his hatred that made him great.
    Jack Warner: Jack, that was war.
    Robert Aldrich: So is this.

& Bette Davis: All right, let's look at the scene... "I've Written a Letter to Daddy," frankly, scares the shit out of me. I'm not a singer, never was.

& Victor Buono: Oh, I’m not craft service. I’m your leading man on this picture.
    Bette Davis: Beg your pardon?
    Victor Buono: I’m Victor Buono. I’ll be playing your love interest.
    Bette Davis: I was expecting someone...
    Victor Buono: Thinner?.. Less... homosexual? Mm. Mm.

& Bette Davis: You’re a fine director, Bob. A really fine director. You should be very proud. And you, you started from nothing. Look at all you’ve accomplished...
    Robert Aldrich: My grandfather was a U.S. Senator. My cousin is Nelson Rockefeller.
    Bette Davis: And you overcame all that.

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Σ Just love the writing. And performing of course.