Do It Yourself

Modern Family 8×13

& Phil: I’m not paying $350 for a moisture sensor that costs $28. I’ll fix it myself.
    Yuri: It’s a complicated job. You know what I did back in Russia?
    Phil: Yeah, yeah, I know. You were a doctor or a scientist.
    Yuri: I fixed dryers.

& Phil: Well, Yuri, Phil Dunphy is no pushover. I’m afraid it’s a hard nyet.

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& Phil: I have an instructional video, and I’m labeling each part as I take it out... «Right-back corner. Tiny elbow-y thingy. My right. Dryer left.»

& Gil Thorpe: Freeze! Police!
    Phil: I’m a realtor. I’m not a criminal.
    Gil Thorpe: Oh, well, then you’re not doing it right.

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On the IMDb