The Day We Almost Died

Modern Family 6×11

& Claire: Do you know what I was doing right before I almost died? Exactly what you’re doing.
    Mitchell: Humoring a relative?
    Claire: No, no, scheduling my life down to the last minute.

& Claire: Look at this... «Call New York office... 4:17 P.M.» Do you realize that everybody but us rounds up to the nearest five minutes?

& Mitchell: I don’t remember this at all.
    Claire: Yeah, I skated away and called you a big baby. Sophie threw a rock at me and you yelled, «you’re so gay...» I did do that. Oh, didn’t I? We used to use that word a lot. You used to be able to call anything gay. Ugh. Do you ever miss that?

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& Alex: Ow. Ow!
    Haley: If it were easy, everyone would be hot.

& Manny: I thought your phone got stolen?
    Gloria: This is Joe’s phone.
    Jay: This is why the terrorists hate us.

& Manny: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos...

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On the IMDb