My Name Is Earl 1x21

The Bounty Hunter

Season 1, Episode 21

* Earl: As important as it is for me to cross things off my list... it's also important to take time out to enjoy the finer things in life... like jumpin' a tiny motorcycle over my brother's head.
   Randy: I'm excited. I'm gonna stick my tongue out to see if he touches it. But you gotta tell me what it looks like 'cause I'm too scared to keep my eyes open.


* Joy: You got us Metallica tickets for our honeymoon?
   Earl: Actually, those tickets are for, uh... our honeymoon.
   Joy: Metallica tickets! I am so takin' off my panties and sittin' on your shoulders.
   Earl: That might upset the people behind us.
   Joy: There ain't nobody behind us.


* Earl: I don't understand this, Joy. How can Jesse take you to jail?
   Joy: I got a warrant out for not appearin' in court for a stupid traffic ticket. I mean, just 'cause the car's stuck in reverse... don't mean the kids don't have to go to school. This is all your fault, Earl!

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* Earl: There's only one way to get a guy like me ready to marry a pregnant woman.
Crowd: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
   Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
   Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
   Earl: Your girls are great. You girls are great, 'cause...


* Joy: Look, Jesse. I'm turnin' myself in. There is no need for any violence.
   Jesse: We both know this isn't about you going to jail. Say good-bye to your teeth, bitch.



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