The Big Bang Theory 1x10

The Loobenfeld Decay

Season 1, Episode 10

* Penny: You'll never guess what just happened.
   Leonard: I give up.
   Sheldon: I don't guess. As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although it occurs to me, you may have been employing a rhetorical device... rendering my response moot.


* Leonard: What happened?
   Penny: Remember when I auditioned for Rent but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?
   Sheldon: I have a conclusion based on an observation.
   Leonard: No, you don't. No, he doesn't.


* Sheldon: I'm uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.
   Leonard: What was I supposed to say?
   Sheldon: You could have told her the truth.
   Leonard: That would have hurt her feelings.
   Sheldon: Is that a relevant factor?
   Leonard: Yes.
   Sheldon: Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
   Leonard: And what would I have said afterwards?
   Sheldon: I would suggest something to the effect of: "Singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you... and if you disagree, I recommend a CAT scan to look for a tumor pressing on the cognitive processing centers of your brain."
   Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
   Sheldon: Why?
   Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
   Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
   Leonard: Well, now you are.
   Sheldon: Oh, all right.


* Sheldon: Leonard?
   Leonard: Yes?
   Sheldon: When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again.

---

* Sheldon: Leonard? Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
   Leonard: This would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath.
   Sheldon: Leonard? Leonard?
   Leonard: What?
   Sheldon: I was analyzing our lie... and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse.
   Leonard: How?
   Sheldon: Simple. If she were to log on to www.socalphysicsgroup.org/activities/other... click on upcoming events, scroll to seminars, download the PDF schedule... and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, then... bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire.


* Sheldon: Penny? Penny? Penny? Penny? Good morning.
   Penny: Do you have any idea what time it is?
   Sheldon: Of course I do. My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. As I'm saying this it occurs to me once again... your question may have been rhetorical.


* Penny: What do you want?
   Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
   Penny: I remember ... symposium.


* Sheldon: He lied.
   Penny: Wait, what?
   Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
   Penny: Well, imagine how I'm feeling.
   Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry, this really isn't my strong suit.


* Leonard: Leo, this is Penny, our friend and neighbor.
   Penny: Hi, Leo, how are you feeling?
   Leo: Let me ask you something, Penny. Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel covered in your own vomit... next to a transsexual prostitute?
   Penny: No.
   Leo: Then don't ask me how I'm feeling.


* Leonard: Hey, why don't you tell me about your showcase last night?
   Penny: Oh, it was okay, I guess. Wasn't a big turnout, but they both seemed to like it.
There were only two people there?
   Penny: By the end, yeah.



--- Словарик:
vocation — склонность (к чему-л.)
avocation — призвание
ruse — хитрость, уловка; обман, мошенничество
fleabag — дешёвая грязная гостиница; ночлежка


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