The Big Bang Theory 1x11

The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Season 1, Episode 11

* Sheldon: Checkmate.
   Leonard: Aaarggh!
   Sheldon: Again? Obviously, you're not well suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candy Land would be more your speed. It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels.


* Penny: Hey, guys.
   Leonard: Hey. How was Nebraska?
   Penny: Well, better than North Dakota.
 { ... silence ... }
   Penny: I guess that joke's only funny in Nebraska.
   Sheldon: From the data at hand, you can't draw that conclusion. All you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here.


* Sheldon: Well, as I predicted, I am sick. My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2 a.m. and I am producing sputum at an alarming rate.
   Leonard: No kidding.
   Sheldon: Nope. Not only that... it has shifted from clear to milky green.
   Leonard: All right, well, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
   Sheldon: What else would I drink? Gases? Solids? Ionized plasma?

---

* Penny: Sheldon, what do you want?
   Sheldon: I want soup.
   Penny: Why didn't you just?..
   Sheldon: Why didn't you just have soup at home? Penny, I have an lQ of 187. Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me to have had soup at home, I would have thought of it?
   Penny: You can have soup delivered.
   Sheldon: I did not think of that. Clearly, febrile delirium is setting in.


* Sheldon: Please bring me some soup while I still understand what a spoon is for.
   Penny: Okay. What kind of soup do you want?
   Sheldon: Well, my mother used to make me this split-pea with little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons.
   Penny: We have chicken, tortilla and potato leek.
   Sheldon: Can I get any of those with little frankfurter slices and homemade croutons?
   Penny: No.
   Sheldon: Then surprise me.


* Penny: Okay, well, you feel better.
   Sheldon: Wait. Where are you going?
   Penny: Um, home to write some bad checks.
   Sheldon: You're going to leave me?
   Penny: Sheldon, you are a grown man. Haven't you ever been sick before?
   Sheldon: Of course, but not by myself.
   Penny: Really? Never?
   Sheldon: Well, once, when I was 15 and spending the summer at the Heidelberg Institute in Germany.
   Penny: Studying abroad?
   Sheldon: No, visiting professor. Anyway, the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to and the result was an internal blitzkrieg with my lower intestine playing the part of Czechoslovakia.
   Penny: And there was no one there to take care of you?
   Sheldon: No, my mom had to fly back to Texas to help my dad because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.
   Penny: Again?
   Sheldon: It was tornado season. And it was an aluminum house. Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick she said, "Möchtest du eine Darmspiegelung?"
   Penny: What does that mean?
   Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"



--- Словарик:
vocation — склонность (к чему-л.)
avocation — призвание
ruse — хитрость, уловка; обман, мошенничество
fleabag — дешёвая грязная гостиница; ночлежка
sputum — мокрота
febrile — лихорадочный
delirium — бред, бредовое состояние; делириум
split-pea — горох
intestine — кишечник; кишка
cinder — шлак
enema — клизма


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