The Big Bang Theory 1x09

The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Season 1, Episode 9

* Leonard: See?
   Penny: No.
   Sheldon: Someone in Sichuan Province, China is using his computer to turn our lights on and off.
   Penny: Huh. Well, that's handy. Um, here's a question. Why?


* Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
   Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility... that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter...
   Leonard: ...but Ockham's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.


*    Leonard: Did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it?
   Sheldon: Leonard, don't take this the wrong way, but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I begin my research on the drag coefficient of tassels on flying carpets.
   Raj: Ha, ha, ha. The only thing missing from that insult was your mama.
   Wolowitz: I got one. Hey, Leonard, your mama's research methodology is so flawed...

---

* Penny: So how's it going with Sheldon? Are you guys still not talking?
   Leonard: Not only is he still not talking to me, but he does this thing... where he stares at you and tries to get your brain to explode. ... You know, like in the classic sci-fi movie Scanners? ... Like: Bzz-phew! ... Never mind.


* Penny: Okay, well, let's just see what else you have. Okay, here. Take this and this and this... ...and these.
   Leonard: Is this stuff you want me to try on?
   Penny: No, this is stuff I want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give it to charity. You won't be helping anyone.


* Penny: So, you know, isn't there some way you and Sheldon could compromise... on this presentation thing?
   Leonard: No, no. Scientists do not compromise. Our minds are trained to synthesize facts and come to inarguable conclusions. Not to mention, Sheldon is bat-crap crazy.


* Penny: So you and Leonard...
   Sheldon: Oh, dear God.
   Penny: Little misunderstanding, huh?
   Sheldon: A little misunderstand?!?! Galileo and the pope had a little misunderstanding.


* Penny: Well, how do you feel?
   Sheldon: I don't understand the question.
   Penny: Well, I'm just asking if it's difficult to be fighting with your best friend.
   Sheldon: Oh, I hadn't thought about it like that. I wonder if I've been experiencing physiological manifestations... of some sort of unconscious emotional turmoil.
   Penny: Wait, what?
   Sheldon: I couldn't poop this morning.
   Penny: You should just talk to him. I'm sure you guys can work this out.
   Sheldon: It's certainly preferable to my plan.
   Penny: Which was?
   Sheldon: A powerful laxative.



--- Словарик:
tassels — кисточка (украшение)
laxative — слабительное средство


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