The Jerusalem Duality
Season 1, Episode 12
{ Sheldon sighs }
Leonard: Something you'd like to share? A tale of woe perhaps?
Sheldon: Fifteen years old. Dennis Kim is 15 years old and he's already correcting my work. Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh, God, now even you're smarter than me.
* Leonard: Just eat, Sheldon. You'll feel better.
Sheldon: Why waste food? When a cow goes dry, they don't keep feeding it... they just take her out and shoot her between the eyes.
Penny: I'm confused. Did Sheldon stop giving milk?
* Leonard: You knew that someday, someone would come along who's younger and smarter.
Sheldon: Yes, but I assumed I would've been dead hundreds of years. And that there'd be an asterisk by his name because he'd be a cyborg.
* Penny: So you got a little competition. I really don't see what the big deal is.
Sheldon: Of course you don't. You've never excelled at anything.
* Penny: What are you gonna do, just give up?
Sheldon: Yes, it's what a rational person does when his entire life's work is invalidated by a prepubescent Asian wunderkind. He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research... and he waits to die.
Penny: I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do we get to shoot him between the eyes?
* Sheldon: Now see, what's this here in the schematic, a laser array?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Now, hmm... What happens if you use argon lasers instead of helium-neon?
Leonard: It would blow up.
Sheldon: Are you sure?
Leonard: Pretty sure.
Sheldon: "Pretty sure" is not very scientific. Is this how you normally work? Just hunches and guesses and stuff?
* Howard: Is he here?
Leonard: If he were, I wouldn't be.
Raj: You know what he did? He watched me work... and then started to design a simple piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that even possible?
Raj: As it turns out, yes.
* Howard: What if something were to happen to him so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon? Then our problem would be solved.
Leonard: Hang on, are we talking about murdering Dennis Kim?.. I'm not saying no. We don't have to go that far. There are other means.
Raj: We can't send him back to North Korea. He knows how to get out.
* Raj: He is not interested in anything but physics.
Howard: What about biology?
Leonard: What?
Howard: You know, biology. The one thing that can completely derail a world-class mind.
Leonard: Howard, he's 15.
Howard: Yeah, so? When I was 15, I met Denise Palmeri and my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.
Raj: She was sleeping with you?
Howard: No, I just wasted a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if she did.
* Raj: We need a social catalyst.
Leonard: Like what? We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
Howard: Or can we?
Leonard: No, we can't.
Howard: I don't think you mean we can't. I think you mean we shouldn't.
* Sheldon: Hey, Howard, you're a Jew. If there was another Wailing Wall exactly like the one in Jerusalem... but close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs... would you still wail at it?
* Leonard: Yeah, mission accomplished.
Raj: Forget the mission. How did that little yutz get a girl on his own?
Howard: I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Raj: Maybe we're too smart. So smart, it's off-putting.
Leonard: Yeah, let's go with that.
--- Словарик:
woe — горе; скорбь, печаль
hunche — (амер. разг.) предчувствие; подозрение; интуиция; наитие
off-putting — смущающий, сбивающий с толку; обескураживающий
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