House M.D. 3x23

The JerkThe Jerk

Season 3, Episode 23

* Foreman: If you want me to stay, tell me you want me to stay.
   House: Would it matter?
   Foreman: No, but it'd be the adult way to handle it.
   House: If the adult way doesn't work, why bother with it?
   Foreman: I've been totally professional! Gave two weeks' notice, continued to work cases, scheduled my interviews on my own time. You have no right to screw with my future.
   House: You're gonna be all whiny during the differential diagnoses, aren't you? It wasn't me. I only sabotage people I consider worth it.


* House: I need to give a 16-year-old magic mushrooms to treat a cluster headache. Is that cool?
   Cuddy: Yeah, no problem. {...} I was being sarcastic.
   House: It wouldn't look that way in the court transcript.


* Cameron: He has undersized testes. His other secondary sexual characteristics are normal.
   House: If you want to curry favor with me, avoid discussions of other men's testicles. Thanks.


* Chase: ... And it's Tuesday.
   Cameron: I know.
   Chase: I like you.
   Cameron: I know. See you next Tuesday.

---

* Cuddy: You killed Foreman's job interview.
   Wilson: Why would I...
   Cuddy: Somebody did. Wasn't me, and it wasn't House, which means it has to be somebody who thought he was protecting House, which means it has to be somebody who actually likes House, which means it's either you or the weird night janitor who wears his pants backwards.
   Wilson: I want Foreman to leave. House has to realize he needs someone who stands up to him. Cameron's in love with him, Chase is afraid of him and I enable him. House needs limits.
   Cuddy: I give him...
   Wilson: You authorize magic mushrooms. House is a six-year-old who thinks he's better off without parents. A few tummy aches after dinners of ice cream and ketchup might do him some good.
   Cuddy: You're lying. An enabler doesn't conspire against. An enabler enables. What?
   Wilson: You're paranoid.


* Cameron: It wasn't me. I don't care about House.
   Wilson: I don't believe you.
   Cameron: No one does. House is nothing more than my boss. Foreman's nothing more than a colleague.
   Wilson: You're lying.
   Cameron: Everyone does.


* Patient: Who are you?
   House: Dr. McCaney. The man who's going to kick your ass all over this chess board.


* House: {...} Keep him on immunosuppressants and biopsy somewhere else.
   Foreman: His sinuses.
   House: Look, you got two choices: engage me in a futile argument then do what I asked, or just do what I asked.
   You're not ready. There was a third choice. "Don't do what I asked."
   You could have defied me, stuck the kid on antibiotics, but you didn't. Because you still trust my judgment more than your own.


* House: And I wouldn't have taken your bishop. I'd have moved my queen to D6, defusing the threat, then rook to E8, attacking the king's pawn. I'd have lost the exchange but won the game.
   Patient: I know. I was bluffing. And that's why you lost.
   House: Jerk.



--- Словарик:
whiny — плаксивый; (вечно) хныкающий, ноющий
tummy — живот(ик)
defy — вызывать, бросать вызов; открыто не повиноваться; игнорировать, пренебрегать; презирать; ни во что не ставить


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) Кто тут настоящий гадёныш (The Jerk), так это — Хауз.