The Big Bang Theory 1x07

The Dumpling Paradox

Season 1, Episode 7

* Leonard: Hey, Penny. Come on in.
   Penny: Hey, guys.
   Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you'll have good luck.
   Penny: No, you won't.


* Penny: Can I hide out here for a while?
   Leonard: Sure. What's going on?
   Penny: Well, there's this girl I know from back in Nebraska, Christy. She called me up, she's like, "Hey, how's California?" And I'm like, "Awesome," because it's not Nebraska.
   The next thing I know, she's invited herself to stay with me.
   She got here today and she's just been in my apartment... yakking about every guy she slept with in Omaha, which is every guy in Omaha... and washing
the sluttiest collection of underwear you have ever seen in my bathroom sink.
   Howard: Is she doing it one thing at a time or does she throw it all in? Like some sort of erotic bouillabaisse?


* Sheldon: Okay, that's it. I don't know how, but she is cheating. No one can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game.

---

* Sheldon: Well, the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half.
   Rajesh: Sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from.
   Penny: Hey, if you guys need a fourth, I'll play.
   Leonard: Great idea.
   Sheldon: Uh, no. The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. This is a notion, and a rather sucky one at that.


* Penny: Okay, I have a problem.
   Sheldon: It's called carpal tunnel syndrome, and quite frankly, you deserve it.
   Leonard: What's wrong?
   Penny: Well, um, Howard and Christy are kind of hooking up in my bedroom.
   Leonard: Are you sure?
   Penny: Look, I grew up on a farm, okay? From what I heard, they're either having sex or Howard's caught in a milking machine.


* Sheldon: We have a two-man, two-day kit.
   Leonard: So?
   Sheldon: So if there's an earthquake and the three of us are trapped here... we could be out of food by tomorrow afternoon.
   Leonard: Are you suggesting that if we let Penny stay we might succumb to cannibalism?
   Sheldon: No one ever thinks it'll happen until it does.
   Leonard: Penny, if you promise not to chew the flesh off our bones while we sleep, you can stay.
   Penny: Ha. What?
   Sheldon: He's engaging in reductio ad absurdum. It's the fallacy of extending someone's argument to ridiculous proportions and then criticizing the result. And I don't appreciate it.


* Sheldon: Okay, since I'm obviously being ignored here, let's go over the morning schedule. I use the bathroom from 7 to 7:20. Plan your ablutions and bodily functions accordingly.
   Penny: How am I supposed to plan my bodily functions?
   Sheldon: I suggest no liquids after 11 p.m.


* Sheldon: Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself...
   Leonard: I know. Look, you have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
   Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.


* Penny: What time is it?
   Leonard: Almost 6:30.
   Penny: I slept all day?
   Sheldon: No, it's 6:30 in the morning.


* Leonard: What the hell is your problem?
   Sheldon: Okay, this cereal has lost all its molecular integrity. I now have a bowl of shredded wheat paste.



--- Словарик:
Dumpling — клёцка; яблоко, запечённое в тесте
yak — болтать, трепаться
slut — неряха, грязнуля; потаскушка; сука
bouillabaisse — попурри
reductio ad absurdum — доведение до абсурда, до нелепости (как способ доказательства)
fallacy — софизм, ложный аргумент
ablutions — омовение


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