My Name Is Earl 1x20

Boogeyman

Season 1, Episode 20

* Earl: {...} Joy had recently given birth to my first illegitimate child. {...}


* Earl: Sometimes the people on my list... they choose how I'm gonna make things up to 'em.
   Alby: So whatever I say you have to do, butt-wad?
   Earl: Yeah, that's kind of how it works.
   Alby: Be my slave all day.
   Randy: You should do it, Earl. Bein'a slave could be cool. You get to sing while you work.


* Earl: Joy, do you remember a few months ago when Dodge was scared of the dark?
   Joy: Yeah. Unfortunately that was my fault, 'cause when he heard us having sex... I told him it was me fighting off the wolf man.
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   Dodge: Mommy, are you okay?
   Joy: Go to bed, honey. Mommy's just fightin' off the wolf man again.
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   Earl: So how'd you cure him?
   Joy: Unfortunately, he got brave one time and walked in tryin' to save me and saw there was no wolf man... just Darnell plowin' me.
   Darnell: He still won't look me in the eye.

---

* Earl: It's okay to be scared of the dark, Alby.
   Alby: I'm not scared of the dark.
   Earl: All right. But even if you were, it's okay. I'm scared of stuff.
   Alby: Like what?
   Earl: Well, like sewer gators. You know, they might come up and bite me when I sit on the toilet... so most times I just kind of hover.


* Earl: After a week of sleeping on a tree full of bugs I was looking forward to taking a nap on real furniture full of bugs.


* Earl: A simple misunderstanding gets less simple... once you add choppers and a SWAT team. Those guys have bazookas.


* Randy: Hey, Earl?
   Earl: Yeah, Randy?
   Randy: Did you hear about me and the Cheeto?
   Earl: No. What happened?
   Randy: Oh, it was pretty amazing. I was eatin' some Cheetos, and I missed my mouth with one... and it bounced off my chin and onto my shoulder... and then it rolled all the way down my arm and right back into the bag.
   Earl: Sounds pretty amazing.
   Randy: Yeah. Everyone at the Crab Shack's talkin' about it.
   Earl: Cool. Good night, Randy.
   Randy: Good night, Earl. {... 1 minute later ...} I made it up, Earl.
   Earl: I know you did. Last year you told me the same story about a Good & Plenty.
   Randy: Be pretty cool if it happened though.
   Earl: Yeah, it'd be cool.



--- Словарик:
butt-wad — ягодицы, зад + кусок, кусочек
plowin' — (plough) пахать, вспахивать; корпеть, «потеть»; осиливать
hover — парить, зависать; нависать, застывать (над чем-л.)


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