A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek

Young Sheldon 1×13

Sheldon: I've been called a germophobe, but I do find a single sneeze acceptable. ... However... during flu season... a second sneeze means a plague is upon the land, and it's every man for himself.

Sheldon: Rules are the pillars of society. I love rules. But what benefit are rules to a dead man?

Principal Peterson: Ol' Spanky... Had the equipment manager over at the Astros make this for me. The holes in it... cut down on wind resistance... But these days you have to have a consent form to whack the kids... I don't know where this world's headed.

Mary: It's not funny!
Meemaw: Oh, come on, now. Sheldon in detention... That's funny.

Young Sheldon: Are you saying I'll be in physical danger?
Georgie: It's all the worst kids in school in one room for an hour. What do you think's gonna happen?
Young Sheldon: I thought we were gonna spend the time regretting our actions and thinking about how we could be better in the future.

Young Sheldon: You're both mean and nice to me. It's confusing.

Tam: I do take the school bus. And that is no party. It's like a mental hospital on wheels.

Young Sheldon: You've heard of fight or flight? This is flight.

Dr. Eberland: So, what do you got today, Sheldon? Rickets? Rabies? Early-onset menopause?
Young Sheldon: Is he making a joke?
Mary: I believe so.
Young Sheldon: Humorous.

Young Sheldon: It's not a phobia if the threat is real.

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Young Sheldon: Why are we getting medical advice from a man who smokes?

Mary: I know you don't believe in this, but I'm gonna do it anyway... Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon that you protect him from all illness and disease, and keep him healthy and keep him safe, and protect him from his head to his toes, inside and out. Amen.
Young Sheldon: You're right. I don't believe in that. But it did feel good. Thanks.
Mary: In the Bible, that's called a hedge of protection.

Missy: We have to go to school, and Sheldon doesn't? That's not fair.
Mary: Sure it is. Sheldon loves school and can't go. You hate school and have to. Fair.

Meemaw: Just when you think he's gonna zig, you get a big old zag.

Meemaw: Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself.

Meemaw: Look at that. St. Mary drinking alcohol...
Mary: God saw what just happened. He gets it.

Meemaw: You are a lot of things, Sheldon. You are cute, smart, hygienic... But most of all... you... are a Texan.

Meemaw: Now I want you to quit hiding in this plastic bubble, and I want you to come out here and eat your cookies out in the world like a man! Like a Texan man!

Mary: ♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
            ♪ Little ball of fur ♪
            ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
            ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
Young Sheldon: Sing it again, Mom.

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