Psychoville 2x4

& Tealeaf: It’s not a room full of beanie toys, is it?
    Peter Bishop: Not quite.
    Tealeaf: Oh, for fuck’s sake.

& Shahrouz: What... What time is it?
    Hattie: It’s ten o’clock. I’d better get to work.
    Shahrouz: I too must go to work. I have morning shift.
    Hattie: No, you can’t leave, Shahrouz.
    Shahrouz: I must or they fire me.
    Hattie: No, I mean you literally can’t leave. I’ve chained your leg to the radiator.

& Bishop: I never made the connection till I read it in the newspaper this morning. So, I decided to “Gooble” it, and I got some very interesting hits. Do you call them hits?

& Richard: All right? Hello, Debbie.
    Debbie: Hi, Richard.
    Richard: Have you got everything you need?
    Debbie: I think so. I wouldn’t mind getting a bigger flat, but the lease doesn’t come up until...
    Richard: No, I meant here, in this situation.
    Debbie: Oh, yes. I’m good, thanks.
    Richard: It should be pretty straightforward. We’ve got a built-in half-hour delay, so should there be any mistakes, we can go again.
    Debbie: Should there be any mistakes?
    Richard: Yes.
    Debbie: So, you want some mistakes?
    Richard: No, but should there be any...
    Debbie: That’s what I’m asking.
    Richard: No, we don’t want any mistakes.
    Debbie: I thought so. It’s sometimes good to check, though, isn’t it?

---

& Claudia: What’s going on? Have we got a gig?
    Mr. Jelly: I haven’t got time to explain, but if you stay, your life could be in danger.
    Claudia: Why? Are they doing them salmon fishcakes again? I told them, they ought to use tinned. Fred West’s.
    Mr. Jelly: John West. Get your slippers on.
    Claudia: Where are we going at this hour?
    Mr. Jelly: We’re going on a little adventure. Do as you’re told!
    Claudia: Is it going to be hot? Will I need sun cream?
    Mr. Jelly: No! I don’t know. Just bring a change of clothes.

& Old Man: Wipe my bum!
    David: I’ve wiped it 16 times already.
    Old Man: Wipe my bum!
    David: I’ve wiped it and wiped it. There’s nothing there. I don’t want to wipe it any more. It’ll just get sore.

& David: She’s already dead.
    Old Man: Wipe her bum.

& Grace: Well, you could move the old lady over to your ever-growing corpse column. In fact... you can move the whole lot. The plasma screen’s arrived.
    Kelvin: Right. Do you want me to start uploading all the data, Ma’am?
    Grace: First things first, Kelvin. There’s a Frasier double-bill on Channel 4+1.

On Imdb.