Mad Men 4x5

The Chrysanthemum and the Sword

Season 4, Episode 5

& Pete: So far I've been advised to read the "The chrysanthemum and the sword." From what I can tell, they have their own way of doing business.

& Sally: Are you and daddy doing it?
    Phoebe: What?!
    Sally: I know what it is. I know that the man pees inside the woman.
    Phoebe: Where did you hear that?
    Sally: A girl at school.

& Don: Do you know the River of Shit I’m gonna get from her mother?..

& Miss Blankenship: You said not to buzz you all the time, but I don’t know how else to do this — you have a phone call.
    Don: You can buzz me for a phone call. Things like coffee after I’ve said no, you don’t have to ask again.
    Miss Blankenship: You’re always asleep in here.

& Laura: I found Sally behaving inappropriately.
    Betty: What’d she do?
    Laura: She was in our den on the couch playing with herself.
    Betty: What?!
    Laura: I don’t know what goes on here, but that kind of behavior is not allowed in my house. And certainly not in the presence of my daughter.

& Hachi Saito: How does she not fall over?
    Joan: Not very subtle, are they?
    Akira Takahashi: No, they are not.

& Don: What exactly did she do? She set the house on fire?
    Betty: She was masturbating, Don, in front of a friend.

---

& Don: “A man is shamed by being openly ridiculed and rejected. It requires an audience.”
    Pete: What is that? Fortune cookie?
    Don: It’s from that book you were all supposed to read.
    Pete: Oh.
    Don: Apparently making a commercial for the Honda pitch would bankrupt us.
    Pete: And it’s against the rules.
    Don: Forget the rules for a second.

& Don: He actually said that?
    Faye: Best part of my job. You’d be surprised what people will say to an interested stranger.
    Don: Why does everybody need to talk about everything?
    Faye: I don’t know but they do. And no matter what happens while they’re talking, when they’re done they feel better.

& Faye: Do you have children?
    Don: I do. Two boys and a girl... One and a half, seven and 10.
    Faye: I’m sure it must be hard to be apart.
    Don: I don’t see them enough. And when I do, I don’t know what to do. When I drop them off I feel relieved. And then I miss them.

& Roger: Since when is forgiveness a better quality than loyalty?..
    Joan: Roger, I know it was awful. And I know it’ll never seem like it was that long ago, but you fought to make the world a safer place and you won, and now it is.
    Roger: You think so? Really?
    Joan: I have to.

& Don: Send over what you have on the car.
    Lane: It redlines at 9,500rpm, but it only has 57 horsepower.
    Don: What?
    Lane: It’s a motorcycle with doors. The nice thing is it has windows. So you can see your brains spatter against it when it crashes...
    Pete: They’re working on it.


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