Psychoville 2x2

& Tealeaf: Who lives there?
    Mr. Lomax: Anthony Aloysius St John Hancock. Bastard.

& Robin: I wasn’t sure what we were having so I brought one of each.
    Emily: Buy one get one free.

& David: Mum, there’s a girl here as well. {...} What are we going to do?
    Maureen: Two for the price of one.

& Grace: What’s this?
    Kelvin: It’s the display you asked for, Ma’am. So we can keep track of the investigation.
    Grace: No, no, no, this is Prime Suspect! It’s the 21st century, we’re not hunting the Yorkshire Ripper. Where’s my plasma screen?
    Kelvin: It’s... It’s on order, Ma’am.
    Grace: Good. And I want to operate it from a button under here somewhere.

& Grace: Now where are we?
    Kelvin: Well, we think we’ve located Robert Greenspan, he’s the, er... the, the little...
    Grace: The dwarf, you can say it.
    Kelvin: Yes, and we expect to have questioned him by the end of the day.
    Grace: Ah, good, the Sony catalogue’s arrived...
    Kelvin: And if he doesn’t know anything Ma’am?
    Grace: Hmm? Oh, kill him. 290 centimetres. What’s that in inches then?

---

& Debbie: ’Of course I still love you, that’s the problem. Please don’t call me. No, don’t even next. It’s over.’ Who are you? Get out of my room! [bang-bang-bang] Sorry, what am I meant to do now?
    Director: You’re meant to fall down dead. You’ve just been shot.
    Debbie: That’s it, sorry, I couldn’t... There’s so much to think about. ... Sorry, everyone! I think I got my line wrong anyway. Didn’t I say next instead of text?

& Robert: Listen, Debbie. I want you to look after something for me.
    Debbie: All right, but I am allergic to cats.
    Robert: No, it’s not alive.
    Debbie: A dead cat?! I’m not sure, Robert. How did it die?

& Mr. Lomax: The artist... The blood donor, the missing page...
    Tealeaf: Bacon radio?
    Mr. Lomax: The radio ham. How much do you know about Hancock?
    Tealeaf: Not a lot. I saw that Will Smith film.
    Mr. Lomax: No, that was ridiculous! Totally miscast.

& Maureen: Remember, the pudding with the peanuts is the dish with the fish. The two that are blue are for me and for you.
    David: What about Emily?
    Maureen: Nothing rhymes with that, just give her a pear.

& Robin: Everything all right, David?
    David: Um, yeah. The two that are blue are for me and for you. This is the dish for Emily’s fish.
    Emily: Oh, I don’t want any pudding, thanks.
    David: Oh. So blue for the Robin and blue for the guest. You have the pear and I’ll have the rest.

& Robin: I think perhaps the dessert may have contained some nuts.
    Maureen: No, it was banana flavour!
    David: But wouldn’t you have died if you’d eaten nuts?
    Robin: No, it’s not an allergy, it’s a gastric reaction.

& Maureen: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Miss Tina Turner!


On Imdb.