Business Ethics

The Office 5×3

Holly Flax: Pencils down! Just kidding.

Holly Flax: Today is Ethics Day. After they finish the quiz, I'm going to run my first meeting here. It's going to be insane... No, it's not. I have to read from the binder.

Michael Scott: "Why are you helping her? You're not even dating." She's my friend. And ultimately my strategy is to sort of merge this into a relationship without her even knowing.

Michael Scott: Lauren! Enough with the pencils!
Holly Flax: No. I have to go over pencils and office supplies. It's part of the ethics thing.
Oscar Martinez: That isn't ethics. Ethics is a real discussion of competing conceptions of the good. This is just the corporate anti-shoplifting rules.

Holly Flax: What I don't understand is, why the steak coupons? I mean, if you were already getting the discounted paper...
Meredith Palmer: Well, it's funny, maybe it's a girl thing, but after we did it, when he would give me those coupons, I just felt good about myself.

Michael Scott: Meredith, why don't you tell Holly it's not what she thinks, nothing unethical happened and that you just like to sleep around?
Meredith Palmer: Am I in trouble here or something?
Michael Scott: No. No. This is just a stupid formality.

Michael Scott: Well, well, Holly-lujah! It's a miracle you're at your desk.
Holly Flax: It's Mike-raculous.
Michael Scott: Reaching. You'll get there.

Michael Scott: You know what? Let's go out. Dunder Mifflin's treat... Actually, you're not a client, so we'll just split it?.. Ethical!

Jim Halpert: The story's kind of bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian... Okay... who needs to return the ring back to Mordor...

Michael Scott: I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.
Holly Flax: Well, that's very sweet, but we have to follow the protocol. Those are the rules.
Michael Scott: Okay, new idea. We don't report it at all. We just punish her.
Holly Flax: We punish her?
Michael Scott: Tell her, "Can't have sex for six months."

Holly Flax: It's been a little tense. People are suspicious of me and my best friend in the office won't even talk to me. Turns out being the morality police does not make you popular. I should know, because in middle school I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff egg salad in my locker. Yeah, I was just hoping middle school was over.

Michael Scott: How do you tell somebody that you care about deeply, "I told you so"? Gently, with a rose? In a funny way? Like it's a hilarious joke? Or do you just let it go? Because saying it would just make things worse... Probably the funny way.

Michael Scott: Okay, everybody, listen up, if you're not in that conference room in two minutes, I am going to kill you.
Stanley Hudson: It's a quarter to 5:00 and I have started to gather my things.
Michael Scott: Get in there right now or I'm going to lose it!

Holly Flax: In this next section we examine the difference between sick days and personal days. Sick days are only to be used when an illness precludes you from doing your job or can spread to your co-workers. Personal days, on the other hand, are much more flexible.

Creed Bratton: Wait a second, how does this steak factor in again?
Phyllis Lapin: I think she got it as a tip, but I don't know why she didn't just take cash.
Kevin Malone: I don't care what she's doing, I hope she just keeps doing it.
Stanley Hudson: Amen. Just keep the ribs coming.

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