My Name Is Earl 2x10-11

South of the Border: Part Uno

Season 2, Episode 10

& Stewardess: ... And, in the event of an emergency water landing, your seat may be used as a flotation device.
    Earl: Um... excuse me? Ma'am? You... you just said my seat may be used as a flotation device. Is that "may" be as in "can" be or "maybe" like "maybe yours will, or maybe yours won't"? 'Cause I didn't ask for a floating seat. I would have, but that wasn't one of the choices.
    Stewardess: All the seats float, sir. And, in the event that the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling.
    Earl: That's it. No, thank you. This is my stop. You know, you might try sprinkling in a few stories about what happens in the event the plane doesn't crash.

& Darnell: Hey, you guys back from Catalina's already?
    Randy: We didn't go. Someone was afraid to fly. Someone whose name rhymes with "girl, as in 'sissy girl,'" who wears flannel shirts. Do you still need more hints? Because it's Earl.


& Earl: Look. I just don't understand how something that big can stay in the air. The wings don't even flap.


& Joy: Earl, it's okay to be afraid. Fear is just your feelings asking for a hug.
    Earl: I like the new Joy.
    Darnell: I don't. I mean, I still enjoy her old hotness, but new Joy doesn't have any fight in her. Those pills make her, like, Finland. I didn't fall in love with Finland, Earl.


& Earl: So, to get the pills, we went to the only doctor we knew.
    The doctor: So, Earl, Randy. Says here that I haven't seen you boys since you were ten.
    Earl: Well, you know, you get busy. I haven't been seeing another doctor, if that's what you're worried about.
    Randy: Do you still give out lollipops?
    The doctor: On the way out, if you're good.


& The doctor: So, Earl, I see you have some anxiety about flying.
    Earl: Well, actually, more about crashing. Crashing and dying.

---

South of the Border: Part Dos

Season 2, Episode 11

& Earl: While I was making Diego understand karma, Randy was trying to understand what it meant to be a dead son.
    Mami: Did you enjoy the flan?
    Randy: You mean the yellow, slimy stuff I took one bite of and spit back out? It was okay.


& Earl: All that talk about monkeys at bedtime made me think of Randy. I didn't know where he was, but I sure hoped he was okay.
    Randy: Hey, Earl.
    Randy: Yeah, Randy?
    Randy: Do you think when everybody dies they come back as a sandwich?
    Randy: I don't know, Randy, maybe.
    Randy: After I die, if you ever see a peanut butter and baloney sandwich, eat it, because that's me.
    Randy: Okay.
    Randy: Earl?
    Randy: Yeah, Randy?
    Randy: Do you miss me?
    Randy: Yeah, Randy, I do.
    Randy: I miss you, too, Earl.


& Diego: You see, this symbolizes how beautiful and admired a bride should be. And that's — to remind her not to get too full of herself.
    Earl: Seems weird.
    Diego: Oh, yeah? And throwing rice at people makes a lot of sense, huh? Wait till you see what you have to do...


& Diego: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
    Catalina: You're a good friend.
    Earl: Randy thought about telling his new wife that he loved her, but he didn't want to risk ruining his wedding day.



-- Dict:
sprinkling — небольшое количество, капля
flan — открытый пирог с фруктами, с сыром и т. п.
baloney — чепуха, вздор, ерунда


+ quotes on Imdb: Part Uno, Part Dos.


! Зачотный дабл-ипизод: Рэнди — a Hero; Джой на успокоительных колесах; Ёрл с боязнью самолётов; напоминания для невесты; 3 испытания для жениха; Диего the Walverine; Дарнелл, страдающий от соседей и ласковой Джой; etc. etc. etc.