The Big Bang Theory 3x19

The Wheaton Recurrence

Season 3, Episode 19

* Penny: Having a little trouble catching your breath there?
   Leonard: No, no, I'm good. If my P.E. teachers had told me this is what I was training for, I would have tried a lot harder.
   Penny: "Do or do not. There is no try."
   Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
   Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
   Leonard: Oh, my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda. I love you, Penny.
{ ta-da-da-dam }
   Penny: Oh... Thank you.
   Leonard: You're welcome.


* Howard: Hey, Leonard, where do you come down on giant ants?
   Raj: Sheldon says impossible. Howard and I say not only possible, but as a mode of transportation, way cooler than a Batmobile.
   Sheldon: You are ignoring the square-cube law. The giant ant would be crushed under the weight of its own exoskeleton. And for the record, the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is: jet pack, hoverboard, transporter, Batmobile, and then giant ant.
   Howard:


* Leonard: Seriously? You have nothing better to do than sit around and discuss the possibility of giant ants?
   Raj: What's with him?
   Howard: Perhaps he's at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle. Are you saying he's man-strating?
   Sheldon: Not literally. But as far back as the 17th century, scientists observed a 33-day fluctuation in men's hormone levels.
   Raj: Interesting. That might explain my weepy days in the middle of the month. [2 Howard] You know what I'm talking about.

---

* Howard: Okay, forget giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
   Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
   Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And on a side note, they are one of the few mammals whose scrotum is in front of the penis.
   Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about...


* Raj: Leonard, where do you stand on giant rabbits and scrotal position?
   Leonard: I honestly don't care.
   Raj: Really? Because every time we've talked about unusual animal genitals, you've always had some pretty strong and controversial opinions.


* Sheldon: Wil Wheaton.
   Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. How's it going?
   Sheldon: Well, well, well. If it isn't Wil Wheaton, the Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox.
   Wil Wheaton: You're not still carrying a grudge because I beat you at that card tournament, are you?
   Sheldon: I'm the proud owner of WilWheatonstinks.com, .net, and .org. What does that tell you?


* Wil Wheaton: Yes!
   Sheldon: A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. Before you jump on Twitter to tweet your modest accomplishment, watch how it's really done. I am the ball. My thoughts are its thoughts. Its holes are my holes. Yes! Tweet that, Tweety Bird.


* Penny: Just let me talk to him, and I'll get back to you.
   Sheldon: When are you going to talk to him?
   Penny: I don't know.
   Sheldon: He's in the laundry room now. Now woulbe a good time.
   Penny: You're not gonna leave me alone until I do it, are you?
   Sheldon: Oh, I think we both know the answer to that question.


* Sheldon (after spare): Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.


* Sheldon: Penny, come back! I'll get you ice cream!
   Leonard: No, let her go.
   Sheldon: Are you insane? If she leaves, it's over!
   Leonard: I'm pretty sure it's already over.
   Wil Wheaton: Tough luck, Sheldon.
   Sheldon: You did this, didn't you?
   Wil Wheaton: Do you think I would really break up a couple just to win a bowling match?
   Sheldon: No, I suppose not.
   Wil Wheaton: Good. Keep thinking that.
   Sheldon: Whea-ton!!!



--- Словарик:
scrotum — мошонка
grudge — недовольство; недоброжелательство; зависть
stink — зловоние, вонь; скандальная сенсация, скандал
pageant — пышное зрелище; показная пышность; пустой блеск


+ Еще quotes на Imdb.