House M.D. 5x12

Painless

Season 5, Episode 12

* Thirteen: Where are you going?
   House: If Cuddy can come in late, I can leave early. If you need anything while I'm gone, just ask Cameron to do it.


* House: Got to let the phone ring more than four times when you're calling a cripple. Chronic pain and pulmonary embolism, go.
   Taub: How'd you know he had...
   House: You called after midnight. It's got to be a heart problem. But heart only would be consistent with rhabdo, which means Thirteen and Foreman would be singing in the rain, which means it has to be lungs as well.

* Kutner: Why did he think only you two would be singing in the rain?


* Cuddy 2 Kutner: Take the garbage out on your way out.
   House: If you want a man to take your crap, you have to marry him first.
   Cuddy: Or employ him.


* Thirteen: Assuming you're right.
   House: Yes. I find it confusing to assume otherwise.
   Thirteen: How would you like to stop taking vicodin?
   House: Good thing I'm not the patient.

---

* Kutner: So, uh, who do you know who committed suicide?
   Taub: Hemingway, Goebbels, Romeo and Juliet.
   Kutner: Your mom? Dad?
   Taub: Saying I wouldn't do it under any circumstances means my whole family was suicidal?
   Kutner: No, but categorically insisting there are no circumstances means you've got baggage... personal betrayal, abandonment.
   Taub: Just because you grew up in a Charles Dickens novel...
   Kutner: Well, it's people like me who don't do it. When your life sucks from the beginning, there's nowhere to go but up.
{ А потом скажут, что все надписи уже давно были сделаны на стене... }


* House: I need the name of a good lawyer.
   Taub: We're getting sued?
   House: Probably.
   Taub: That's Cuddy's problem.
   House: Come on, you're from one of the 12 tribes. You must know a ton of shysters.
   Taub: What type of lawyer do you need? I'll bring it up at the next world domination subcommittee meeting.
   House: Didn't say I needed a lawyer. I said I needed the name of a lawyer.


* Foreman: It's not like we can chop off his head to see if the pain goes away.
   House: Why not?
{ later }
   House 2 Cuddy: Need to cut off a guy's head. Got to figure out his pain's coming from his brain or his body.


* Patient: I thought I had good days left.
   House: Turns out you have to live to find out.
   Patient: You don't have a family, do you?
   House: Left them all back on Krypton.
   Patient: You're alone. That's why you can handle your pain. No need to put up a front, to be what anyone else wants you to be.



* Social inspector: Everything looks fine.
   Cuddy: Really?
   Inspector: Dr. Cuddy, you've got sufficient income, a high degree of personal and professional stability, and you care enough to be embarrassed by what a mess this place is. Believe me, that puts you head and shoulders above most of the foster moms I visit. See you next year, if you haven't adopted her by then.


* Wilson: Did I mention you passed the inspection?
   Cuddy: I passed by their meager standard. I failed by mine.
   Wilson: Why do women always do that?
   Cuddy: Fail?
   Wilson: Create ridiculous standards that no human could meet, with your careers, with your kids. You got to be more like us men.
   Cuddy: Be lazy? Blame others?
   Wilson: Get help! Most men in your position have a deputy and two assistants at work, and a wife and two nannies at home. You're not superwoman. Don't be a martyr.


* Plumber: You're insane. You know that, right?
   House: Because I have principles?
   Plumber: Because you paid more to bribe me to lie on your claim than the entire cost of the repair.
   House: I don't care if I pay, as long as the people who pocketed my premiums for the last nine years also pay. I didn't break the pipe.
   Plumber: Whatever. If you want to stick it to the man, that's fine by me. You happy?
   House: Nope, but I'm right.



--- Dictionary:
cripple — калека, увечный, инвалид
rhabdite — рабдит, палочковидный продукт секреции ресничных червей
shyster — стряпчий, занимающийся сомнительными делами; крючкотвор, кляузник (о юристе); тёмный делец; тёмная личность
foster — воспитывать (чужого ребёнка)
meager — худой, тощий; недостаточный, скудный


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