House M.D. 5x17

The Social Contract

Season 5, Episode 17

* Kutner: I agree with Wilson. This guy's a Harry Potter. The sorting hat was going to put Harry in Slytherin based on his nature. He refused, so he ended up in Gryffindor. Tough choice.
   House: There's damage somewhere in his brain. Find it.


* Thirteen: Are you sure you understand?
   Patient: No, I'm lying. Except I can't.


* Patient: You ask me questions. While I talk, you look at my brain activity to see where it's screwed up. Then you're gonna cut the screwed up part out to test it. It's depressing, but it's not rocket science.
   Foreman: I think he understands.
   Patient: I don't mean to be abrasive. Especially since you're such a pleasure to image naked. I'm, sorry.
   Thirteen: It's okay.
   Patient: Thank you for understanding. I'd do you, though. Really, my apologies. This stuff just comes out.
   Thirteen: It's okay.
   Cuddy (entering to MRI room): House paged.
   Patient: Whoa, I would do her in a minute with fudge and a cherry on top. Would someone please explain to this woman? There's only so many apologies...
   Thirteen: He has frontal lobe disinhibition.
   Patient 2 Cuddy: I've already embarrassed myself with one doctor, whom I am at this moment imagining with you in a king-sized bed with a mirror on the ceiling. But if I couldn't have both of you together, you definitely would be my first choice.
   Cuddy: Where's House?
   Patient: It's like trying not to think of an elephant. Not that you're an elephant. Your breasts, in fact, are all Homo Sapiens...
   Thirteen: House isn't here.
   Cuddy: Oh, he wouldn't have paged me if he couldn't watch and enjoy the...
   Patient: Your tush is like the pistons in a Ferrari.
   Cuddy 2 House (hided in observation room): You're welcome.

---

* House: You're 40 years old...
   Cuddy: 38.
   House: The administrator of a hospital...
   Cuddy: Dean of Medicine.
   House: People don't get personal with you. Except for me, and you dismiss me as a jerk who's jerking you around. But that guy can only tell the truth. And he prefers your body to that of a smokin' young hottie.
   Cuddy: So that was your way of saying I look good today.
   House: You didn't get the slightest kick out of that?
   Cuddy: Don't be ridiculous, House.
   House: I hope you know your pistons are second to none.


* House 2 Taub: Hey, Cyrano de Berkowitz.


* Taub: I told Wilson you sent me to get information.
   House: And now you're telling me. What does that make you, a quadruple agent?

* Patient: I hear you're the guy in charge. I'm the patient with the disinhibition.
   House: If you're here to say thanks, you're welcome. Now go away.
   Patient: Oh, I'm not thankful. I'm pissed.
   House: Oh, all the more reason to go away.
   Patient: They're talking about sending me home. To what? A life where I'll continually drive away anyone who might for a second care about me?
   House: Those are the breaks. You could operate. You could die.
   Patient: So I'm either better or dead? I'm okay with that. I... I've always been kind of a... an impatient guy. But I've worked hard to keep my mouth shut. I've made my wife happy. I've made my little girl happy. I want that back. Otherwise, it's no life.


* House: I want you to remove a small problem. ...
   Chase: It's too near the brain stem. Nobody's gonna touch it.
   House: Your boss would. He's an egomaniac. He just needs a little push. I'm sure by now you've kissed his ass sufficiently.
   Chase: ...
   House: Would you like me to phrase it as "you're politically gifted"? I can do that.


* Chase: You want me to help you? Tell me why. Why you care? The puzzle's solved. The guy's alive. And the odds of coming out of this surgery with that same status aren't that great.
   House: My patient has a quality of life issue. He says awful things.
   Chase: Hardly a medical condition.
   House: When he leaves here, he's... he's gonna alienate the people he works with. And if he ever finds a friend who's willing to put up with his crap, he'll be lucky. Until he drives him away too.
   Chase: I'll see what I can do.



* Wilson: I went to the library so I wouldn't have to hear the phone ring. I wonder how that turned out... My mother called me the next day. Danny had run away and left his meds behind. Which I knew meant that he would never be able to choose to come back, because he'd be so detached from reality.
   House: So you made your one effort to live a normal, selfish life, and the universe immediately smacked you down. And because we're wired to find meaning in semi-random events, you decided never to be that careless again. You don't think that's a little facile?
   Wilson: Actually, I don't.
   House: I think you did it consciously. You developed your people- pleasing talents the way an Olympic athlete develops his muscles. Talk about an overreaction to a single event.
   Wilson: It was a pretty big event.
   House: Hanging up the phone? That's what you're blaming all this on. That's the behavior you've been trying to correct. As though nothing else went wrong in your brother' life.


* House: Does it bother you that we have no social contract?
   Wilson: My whole life is one big compromise. I tiptoe around everyone like they're made of China. I spend all my time analyzing: What will the effect be if I say this? Then there's you. You're a reality junkie. If I offered you a comforting lie, you'd smack me over the head with it. Let's not change that.
   House: Okay.
   Wilson: No, see, this... if you were implementing the social contract, you'd say that, but only because... it makes me feel better...
   House: It is kind of fun watching you torture yourself.
   Wilson: Do you think things will work out with my brother?
   House: No. But when it does go wrong, it won't be your fault.
   Wilson: Thanks, House.
   House: You do actually like monster trucks.
   Wilson: Absolutely.



--- Dictionary:
fudge — выдумка, враньё; чушь, вздор; a type of Western confectionery which is usually very sweet, extremely rich and frequently flavored with cocoa
disinhibition — растормаживание
tush — выступ; A slang term for the buttocks
pistons — поршень
facile — не требующий усилий; поверхностный, поспешный

junkie — наркоман (пользующийся героином); торговец наркотиками





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