Unfaithful
Season 5, Episode 15
* Cuddy: You doing anything Friday?
House: Taking a lovely young lady to the philharmonic.
Cuddy: That your way of saying you're having sex with a hooker?
House: Two. Can't create a harmonic with just one.
* Cuddy: I was hoping you might available for Rachel's Simchat bat. It's a...
House: Jewish baby-naming ceremony, a time-honored tradition dating all the way back to the 1960s.
Cuddy: My house at 7:00. It'll just be the Rabbi and a few friends and some family.
House: Nothing like welcoming a baby into the world with a completely naked display of hypocrisy.
Cuddy: There'll be plenty of wine and nice people you can quietly mock.
House: Wish I could, but I already put down a deposit on 16 carates of jell-o.
* Cuddy: I didn't pressure you. I invited you. And there's nothing hypocritical about recognizing your heritage.
House: So you keeping Kosher now, wearing four-cornered garments, slaughtering heifers to the God Ra? Wait, is that one your people? Do it all, do nothing, or option "c" — you're a liar and a hypocrite.
Cuddy: House... for better or for worse, you are a part of my life. It isn't a ploy. It's a sincere invitation. I honestly want you to come.
House: Wouldn't miss it for the world.
* Cuddy: You idiot. I was free and clear. Now he's coming, and it's your fault.
Wilson: Since when have your failed attempts at communication through lies become my fault?
Cuddy: Since you forgot how to keep your mouth shut. You messed it up, and now you're gonna fix it. And you're gonna keep my name out of it.
* Wilson: Why the hell are you going to Cuddy's baby naming? It's a religious ceremony. It's boring. Why waste a good evening that could be much better spent in a drunken stupor feeling sorry for yourself?
House: Okay.
Wilson: Okay? Okay, you won't go?
House: Okay, your obligation to Cuddy is fulfilled.
Wilson: Why are you doing this? You always have a reason. It's usually a bad one, but a reason.
House: She's being childish. See, that's an example from the bad category.
Wilson: Is it resentment? The stork brought home a new baby, and you don't want to share mommy? Or you just can't stand to see others happy?
House: She's trying to play me. If I let her succeed, the terrorists win.
* Patient: Your boss always like that?
Taub: Usually worse. Finding a fellow atheist always makes his day.
* Thirteen: ...... If there's no infection, it's because there aren't any fans, no white cells. You think his spleen?
House: Why do I bother with these great metaphors if i still have to spell it out? Yes, I think it's his spleen. Go get a biopsy. I'll try to get New Moon on Monday out of my head.
* Patient: You think it's my spleen?
House: That's what they're testing. So if I happen to cure you, what happens then? You start thinking that God was working through me? This is some sort of miracle?
Patient: Do you think I'm an idiot?
House: That's what I'm testing.
Patient: Losing my faith wasn't a choice I made. It happened.
House: It's gone for good. But if it can magically disappear, it can magically reappear, and that's what you're hoping.
* House: Why do the Lord's work if the Lord has left the building?
Patient: I've been with the church my entire adult life. It's my only marketable skill.
House: I detect the stink of leftover faith.
Patient: You want to talk hypocrisy, what about you? You act like you don't care about anyone, but here you are. Saving lives.
House: Solving puzzles. Saving lives is just collateral damage.
* House: Why do people suddenly find religion when they have kids?
Patient: Fear of the unknown. Cornerstone of faith. I think it makes perfect sense.
House: So it makes sense because it doesn't make sense.
* Wilson: Don't you hate when they put the mushrooms underneath the cheese?
House: Your attendance is validating her hypocrisy. If she invited you to a ceremonial lynching, would you go?
Wilson: It would depend on what she was serving. Everyone's a hypocrite. Why are you suddenly so obsessed with Cuddy's particular brand?
House: Just making conversation. Would you rather we go back to talking about mushrooms and cheese?
* Wilson: This is ridiculous. You two deserve each other. If you want to go, just go and act like a human being.
House: Wow, solid advice, except for two things. I'm acting like I don't want to go because I don't want to go, and... I am incapable of acting like a human being.
* Foreman: I want my job back.
House: Love, sacrifice, deception, and now betrayal. This is better than a telenovela.
Thirteen: What's going on?
House: Well... Either Foreman is here, as the two of you discussed, to beg for his job back in exchange for me dumping you, or... nothing.
{ Кул. Форман с 13-ой переиграли Хауза? Переиграли ли? Вот в чем вопрос... }
* Wilson: Any second thoughts about Cuddy?
House: Nope. But please, feel free to blather on.
Wilson: Raising a child on her own is scary. She's just doing what you do, what everyone does — trying to avoid pain.
House: Religion is not the opiate of the masses. Religion is the placebo of the masses.
* House: If you're saying she's not a hypocrite...
Wilson: I'm not. I'm trying to give you a rational reason to overlook her hypocrisy so you don't feel like a hypocrite for going.
House: Oh, sorry. Continue.
Wilson: Okay, even if an absolute truth exists, we can't know all of it, and you can't condemn her for recognizing that... Are you eliminating symptoms?
House: We can know everything.
Wilson: This is medicine, not metaphysics.
House: Truth is truth.
* Patient: What about my hallucination?
House: Scotch explains that. But that was just a coincidence. Coincidences do happen.
Patient: That coincidence is what brought me to you in the first place.
House: You promised you wouldn't go there.
Patient: Einstein said, "coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."
House: A woman in Florida said, "Look, Jesus is on my cheese sandwich."
Patient: You didn't even want to take my case. You didn't even think I was sick.
House: The fact that I was wrong is not a proof of God.
Patient: I'm just trying to understand how my life could completely turn around in a single day.
House: Don't worry. Your life will go back to sucking soon enough. Everything that happened to you can be rationally explained.
Patient: I know. It's just... That's a lot of coincidences.
{ Хауз празднует Rachel's Simchat bat наедине с самим собой }
--- Dictionary:
hypocrisy — лицемерие, ханжество, притворство
mock — насмехаться; высмеивать, осмеивать; издеваться
heifer — (амер.) «корова», «тёлка» (о женщине, особ. молодой)
resentment — негодование, возмущение, чувство обиды
spleen — селезёнка
leftover — остаток; пережиток
blather — болтать вздор, трещать
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