A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters

Young Sheldon 6×13

Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Paige: Would you believe me if I told you I was working on a femtosecond laser in the engineering department?
Sheldon: Yes.
Paige: Then that.

Paige: I'm trying to have fun, and I don't want them to know how old I am.
Sheldon: Why?
Paige: Because I want them to think that I'm cool.
Sheldon: But you're smart. What's cooler than that?

Connie: Please tell me you brought some movies home.
Mandy: Tootsie.
Connie: Ooh, thank you!
Dale: Really? We're supposed to believe Dustin Hoffman is a woman?
Connie: But we believe talking dinosaurs?

Dale: Little late to start a movie.
Connie: It's 8:00.
Dale: We're saying the same thing.

Sheldon: Are you still inebriated, or can we have an intelligent conversation?
Paige: Both.
Sheldon: You do realize that alcohol kills brain cells.
Paige: Ah, but it also makes life tolerable.
Sheldon: What do you mean?
Paige: Well, talking to you is usually annoying.
Sheldon: So you're what's called a mean drunk. Noted.

Dale: Well, how do they not see that's Dustin Hoffman?
Connie: I buy it.
Dale: So if I put on a wig and lipstick, you'd think I was a chick?
Connie: Only one way to find out...

Adult Sheldon: There I stood, the classic hero outside the dragon's cave. Should I risk life and limb to save the maiden? My every instinct said no. But I drank a lot of root beer and really had to go pee-pee.

Adult Sheldon: This night of depravity had reduced me to urinating on a tree like a forest animal...

Sheldon: We're running again? We just ran.

Georgie: I'll tell you what. My daughter's never gonna put me through this.
George: Oh, really? How you figure?
Georgie: I'm gonna run a tight ship. Set some rules, some boundaries. If she breaks them, then she faces the... Oh, what do you call it? Repercussions. Why you smiling?
George: I just can't wait till you're a dad.
Georgie: Thank you.
George: "Repercussions..."

Paige: He was cute...
Missy: What's wrong with you? You're smarter than Sheldon. Why don't you act like it?
Sheldon: Um...
Paige: I am.
Sheldon: If that was true, then how come my pizza's still in my stomach and yours is in the fountain?

Paige: What good is being smart if you're all alone?

Georgie: I'll tell you another idea I have for keeping my kid in line.
George: Oh, can't wait.
Georgie: I seen this show where they put these electric trackers on these dolphins. And with satellites, they can tell exactly where they are.
George: Dolphins? Go on.
Georgie: I'm gonna stick one of them things in my kid so I always know where she is.
George: So you're gonna keep track of your daughter like she's an animal.
Georgie: Damn straight.
George: Actually a really good idea...

Mary: You just want your children to have an easier time of it.
Mandy: Easier... My baby's gonna have a broke single mom and a teenage dad.
Mary: Mm-hmm. Let me get you some more tea.

Georgie: You know what else is nice?
George: Hmm?
Georgie: I get to learn from all your parenting mistakes.
George: I'm starting to think letting you live this long was one of 'em.
Georgie: Like that. I'd never say something so awful to my kid. Thanks, big guy.

Mary: What happened to killing her?
George: I'll get to it. Just so relieved she's okay... Okay, I'm good. MISSY!
Mary: Wait for me!...

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