BlueBallz

Lucifer 5×6

Ella: Oh, my God, I... I didn't know you two were a thing. I mean, I mean, I'd hoped, but... You two bow-chicka-wow-wow?

Chloe: Okay, Ella, so what do we have?
Ella: Blue Ballz.
Lucifer: You, too?
Ella: No. Blue Ballz, with a "Z."

Mazikeen: You missed our coffee date.
Linda: Oh, my gosh, Maze. Is it morning? I'm so sorry. We've been up all night. You're welcome to stay, but it's kind of loud.
Mazikeen: Pain and suffering... Music to my ears.

Chloe: Why do you think he's behind all this?
Lucifer: Well, clearly he's orchestrating all this to get close to you again.
Chloe: That's ridiculous. Electrocuting a colleague? Blowing up his own studio? No one would go that far just to be near me.
Lucifer: Well, I did go to Hell and back for you, twice, but who's counting?

Amenadiel: You're a great guy. Great cop, great dad. And your hair, it's so high.

Amenadiel: Listen to me, Daniel. We all have our demons. Myself included. But believe me when I say this... I know evil. And you, my friend, are not it.

Ella: BRB. Be right back.

Jed: See, Chloe loves a mystery. ..... See, Chloe looks at everything like a case that needs to be solved. What I didn't realize was when she solved me... figured me out... she was done. 'Cause underneath the handsome, the sexy, the fun...
Lucifer: Mm.
Jed: ...it's just me. So she moved onto the next mystery.

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Chloe: Ladies, let me remind you that there is a killer here.
Linda: As long as that killer doesn't cry, spit up, or wet themselves, I am in.

Linda: Seriously, sex with Lucifer is the last thing you should be worried about. What you should be worried about is that he's unfathomably narcissistic, utterly terrified of intimacy, and sabotages everything good that ever happens to him. So essentially, he's the oldest, most immature person in the world. Nay, "universe."

Dan: What the hell, man?
Lucifer: Well, you see, Daniel, the detective is a detective. So, I'm being a mystery.
Dan: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Amenadiel: What's wrong?
Lucifer: I've been manipulated, brother.

Amenadiel: Do it again, Lucy. Do it again.

Mazikeen: You don't think I'm scary?
Ella: Oh, I think you are hella scary. But... it's good scary, because it's you. And I know when you finally show someone how absolutely amazing you are, you're going to find your soulmate.
Mazikeen: You can't find a soulmate if you don't have a soul.

Lucifer: This whole relationship nonsense... How am I supposed to know what she's thinking?
Dan: That's man's eternal question, bro.

Lucifer: Look, I know you two are useless when it comes to women, but Daniel, you, surely, should have some sort of self-help mumbo-jumbo advice for me?
Dan: You want my advice?
Lucifer: Sadly, yes.
Dan: Stop asking people for their advice and just go talk to her, man.

Chloe: I was nervous and, um... the things I said, well, they were things a normal person would say, you know, and... we're not normal.
Lucifer: No.
Chloe: You know, we... We're us, and... we're... incredible.
Lucifer: I couldn't agree more.

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