The One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends

Friends 3×13

Monica: Oh, my God. Richard?! Wow. Your lip went bald.

Dr. Burke: I miss this.
Monica: Me too.
Dr. Burke: So you wanna get a hamburger or something?
Monica: Aw, um, I don't know if that's a good idea.
Dr. Burke: No. Just friends. I won't grope you. I promise.
Monica: Yeah, I think it's too soon.
Dr. Burke: No, it's not too soon. I had lunch at 11.

Rachel: Why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
Joey: Oh. I was reading it last night and I got scared, so...
Rachel: But, uh, you're safe from it if it's in the freezer?
Joey: Well, safer. I never start reading The Shining... without making sure we got plenty of room in the freezer.

Joey: Haven't you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Well, um, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But that's a classic. What's so great about The Shining?
Joey: The question should be, Rach, "What is not so great about The Shining?" Okay? And the answer would be, "Nothing. " All right? This is, like, the scariest book ever. I bet it's way better than that classic of yours.

Joey: Uh, now, Rach, these little women... How little are they? I mean, are they, like, scary little?

Monica: So we can be friends who sleep together.
Dr. Burke: Absolutely. This'll just be something we do.
Monica: Like racquetball.
Dr. Burke: Yeah. Sounds smart and healthy to me.
Monica: So, um, just out of, uh, curiosity... um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Dr. Burke: Just your dad. Although that's actually racquetball.

Joey: Hey, Rach? How you doing with The Shining?
Rachel: Uh, Danny just went into Room 217.
Joey: Ooh. The next part's the best. When that dead lady in the bathtub...
Rachel: No, no, no! Come on.
Ross: You're gonna ruin it.
Joey: All right, I'll talk in code. Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
Ross: Yeah, that's very cool.
Joey: Yeah. Ooh. All blank and no blank makes blank a blank-blank, right?
Ross: Oh, no, no.
Joey: No, the end. When Jack almost kills them all with that blank... but then in the last second they get away.
Rachel: Aw. Joey, I can't believe you just did that.
Chandler: I can't believe she cracked your code.
Rachel: All right, okay. Laurie proposes to Jo and she says no... even though she's still in love with him. And then he ends up marrying Amy.
Joey: Hey. Mine was by accident. All right. The boiler explodes and destroys the hotel and kills the dad.
Rachel: Beth dies.
Joey: Beth...?! Beth dies?!?!
Rachel: Mm-hm.
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading, is Beth gonna die?....
Ross: No, Beth doesn't die. She doesn't die. Does she, Rachel?
Rachel: What?
Ross: Joey's asking if you've just ruined... the first book he's ever loved that didn't star Jack Nicholson.
Rachel: .... No. She doesn't die.
Joey: Then why would you say that?
Rachel: Because I wanted to hurt you.

Monica: You know what? What if we're friends... who don't see other people?
Dr. Burke: You mean like exclusive friends?
Monica: Why not? I mean, this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together? Or maybe someday, friends who stood up in front of their other friends... and vowed to be friends forever.

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