The Blues Brothers (1980)

Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One... soiled. Boots, black. Belt, black. One black suit jacket. One pair black suit pants. One hat. Black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.

Elwood: You don't like it?
Jake: No, I don't like it... Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It was a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile, or what?
Jake: ... Fix the cigarette lighter.

Jake: $5,000? No problem. We'll have it for you in the morning. Let's go.
Sister Mary Stigmata: No. I will not take your filthy, stolen money!
Jake: Well, then. I guess you're really up shit creek.
Sister Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon! What did you say?
Jake: I offered to help you. You refused to take our money. Then I said, "I guess you're really up shit creek." Ow!
Elwood: Christ, Jake, take it easy, man. Jesus Christ!
Jake: Shit! Goddamn it! Son of a bitch!
Elwood: Jesus Christ! You son of a bitch!
Jake: You fat penguin! Fuck this noise, man!
Sister Mary Stigmata: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments, have returned to me as two thieves with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.

Elwood: All I'm saying is we got to figure out some way to get that money honestly.
Jake: That could be a problem...

Jake: The band! Do you see the light?
Elwood: What light? Have you seen the light?
Jake: Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ! I have seen the light! The band, Elwood, the band!

Jake: First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone. Then you lie to me about the band. Now you're gonna put me right back in the joint.
Elwood: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

Elwood: We'll be all right if we can just get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don't look like no expressway to me!
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: What do you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don't you offer some constructive criticism?
Jake: You got us into this parking lot, pal. Now you get us out!
Elwood: You want out of this parking lot? Okay.

Murph: You'll never get Matt and Mr. Fabulous out of them high-paying gigs.
Jake: Oh, yeah? Well, me and the Lord, we got an understanding.
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.

Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.

Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.

Maury: A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know about that stuff. I been exploited all my life.

Jake: Maury, we need this gig!
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.

Elwood: This is glue. Strong stuff.
Jake: What the hell are you doing?
Elwood: This can is from a surplus disposal run. Fifteen overcharged ounces of pure uncompounded isoproponyl butane monosulphide. When combined with oxygen and a little heat it will cause a rapid expansion.

Elwood: We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. We'd especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois' law enforcement community, who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there're still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody...

Mystery Woman: ...for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good I must now kill you and your brother.
Jake: Oh, please don't kill us! Please, please, don't kill us... You know I love you, baby! I wouldn't leave you! It wasn't my fault! You miserable slug!
Mystery Woman: You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me!
Jake: No, I didn't. Honest! I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. And old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't my fault, I swear to God!
Mystery Woman: Oh, Jake...

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

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