My Name Is Earl 1x09

Cost Dad the Election

Season 1, Episode 9

* Randy: Was it my fault we got caught?
   Earl: Of course it was your fault.
   I was halfway down the block with the basket of money... and you tripped over your damn dress.
   I told you to go as a priest, but no, you thought it'd be funny to dress as a nun. If you had just listened to me instead of worrying so much about trying to...
   Randy: It's funny, isn't it. Is it funny?
   Earl: Yeah, it's funny.
   Randy: I told you. It's because I'm a man, but I'm dressed like a woman.

---

* Earl: Randy?
   Randy: No.
   Earl: What's he doing here?
   Mom: He's here every Sunday.
   Earl: He told me he was in a regular poker game.
   Mom: He is. He is, and we play for those little marshmallows. Then when we're done, we divide them up and we put them in our cocoa.
   Earl: ... How come you hate me, but you'll gamble for marshmallows with Randy?
   Mom: Well, there's a difference between you two. See, one of you's bad and one of you's simple. And, Earl, you're bad.


* Catalina: What are registered voters?
   Earl: People who sign up to vote, I guess. You and me should sign up.
   Randy: He's down by more than two votes.
   Catalina: Can I register to vote?
   Randy: He's down by more than three votes, Catalina.


* Mom: Once again, thanks to me, Dad lost in a landslide. Yep, well, I crushed some allergy medicine in his lemonade... but he's still all fired up. Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot who I was calling. We'll take, uh, a large pepperoni, and throw in some garlic knots. That might cheer him up.


* Randy: Hey, Earl?
   Earl: Yeah, Randy?
   Randy: If you could be any kind of animal in the whole world... what animal would you be?
   Earl: A dog. I think I'd be a dog.
   Randy: How come?
   Earl: 'Cause I like living inside and sitting on couches. Most people let their dogs live inside and sit on couches.
   Randy: How about a cat? People let their cats live inside and sit on couches.
   Earl: I'm allergic to cats. I wouldn't wanna go around making myself sneeze.
   Randy: Yeah.
   Earl: Why, what kind of animal would you be if you could be any animal in the whole world?
   Randy: I was gonna say monkey, but you make a good point about the couch.
   Earl: Good night.
   Randy: Good night.


--- Словарик:
landslide — победа на выборах
sneeze — чихать


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