Терри Пратчетт — Понюшка (4/5)

<< Ранее

&  Самые чудовищные поступки в мире совершаются людьми, которые считают, действительно считают, что они поступают хорошо, особенно, если в дело вовлечено какое-нибудь божество.

&  Добро заключается в поступках человека, а не в его молитвах.

&  Множественность миров, жизнь после смерти, искупительные врата – все это просто не укладывалось у него в голове. Хочешь ты или нет, но ты родился и стараешься жить как можешь, а потом, хочешь ты того или нет, но ты умираешь. Вот то, что известно наверняка, поэтому лучшее из того, что по силам копу – это хорошо справляться со своей работой.

&  Сэм Ваймс терпеть не может идиому: «невиновному нечего бояться», поскольку он верит, что как раз невиновному-то очень даже есть чего бояться, и в основном виновных, а в долгосрочной перспективе – как раз тех, кто произносит подобные слова: «невиновному нечего бояться».

&  Это мир наживы, а проблема мира наживы в том, что трудно отличить цель жизни от наживы.

&  Ветинари всегда рассуждал так: «Что такое норма? Норма это вчерашний день, прошлая неделя и месяц вместе взятые».

&  Должно быть этой штуке специально учат слуг, решил Сэм: если тебе нечем заняться, занимайся ничем.

&  Ха! Это история всей моей жизни. Слишком большой трус, чтобы быть трусом!

Окончание >>

House of Cards 6×8

Chapter 73

Doug: Never button the bottom.

Claire: I feel for the man, I do. But Doug Stamper will never be the one to lead us to the truth.

Claire: I swear on his unborn child.

Walter: Oh, Claire, my calling is a practical one. I don't judge. I don't question. I simply work for the highest bidder... I'm agnostic, but this virtual landscape is new to me...

Claire: Oh, you guys. I really didn't wanna have to have to do this, but...

Maria: Madam President, all due respect...
Claire: Maria, I know you're new to this, but please don't ever use that expression with me. "All due respect" means precisely the opposite.

Claire: I couldn't sleep last night. For obvious national security reasons, of course, but... also because the baby kept me awake.

Claire: ...the word "misogynist" popped into my mind. And I was trying to think of the word for the opposite. You know, the word for when a person hates men. Does anyone around this table know that word is?.. The word for when a person hates men?.. Anybody?... I had to go and look it up. "Misandrist." And no one really knows that word because it's not used in our culture.

Claire: Maybe we all, regardless of our gender, would do well to examine the pre-conceived notions that we have about who can and cannot act as Commander In Chief.

Seth: There you go. They're from a place called the Federalist Pig.

Petrov: I'll have my people, the GRU, take it from here.
Claire: No, you won't.
Petrov: Look, Claire, just... worry about having your baby now.
Claire: I've always been entertained by your arrogance. It's like watching some movie, just out of date.

Petrov: If you drop an atom bomb...

Claire: It's time for me to treat you all like the adults you are. The truth is...

---

Claire: I'm not the only one who's in danger. No one's safe. Not really. Not ever.

Bill: Francis was a son of a bitch. But he was a talented son of a bitch. He saw her coming. He just couldn't stop himself. Or her.

Claire: Let's not give them what they want. Fuck them all.

Claire: He was always three steps ahead, wasn't he?
Doug: Maybe he still is...

Claire: So tired of talking about Francis...

Seth: Fuck 'em all. What about the two of us? We just leave. Where do you wanna go?

Doug: Seth... It's not going to go like you think.

Petrov: ... Think how the world will judge you.
Claire: As if you have any credibility with the world stage!

Janine: I am not going to stop. And I don't know when it will be or how. But I am going to finish this godforsaken story, okay?

Bill: ... There, see? They all have one thing in common. Children watching, waiting for the cards to fall.

Annette: If you're leaving... leave.

Doug: What are you going to call her?
Claire: I haven't decided yet. What do you think?
Doug: Frances Underwood. Frances with an "e."

Doug: I had to protect the legacy from the man...

Claire: It's all right, Doug. Everything is gonna be all right... It's all gonna be all right..... There. No more pain.

--
On the IMDb
+ reddit

Unfulfilled

South Park 22×9

Stephen: Kids these days just don't understand how much their parents break their backs to provide!

♪ You load 16 tons, what do you get? ♪
♪ Another day older and deeper in debt ♪
♪ Saint Peter, don't you call me ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't go ♪
♪ I owe my soul to the company store ♪

Mr. Tweek: We didn't really have a choice. Since the fulfillment center opened, me and wife's coffee business has gone belly up.
Stephen: Yeah, people are ordering everything online these days. That's why you'll find a lot of familiar faces working here. Everything's automated and timed to precision to get people's orders out to them as soon as possible.

Stephen: In these warehouses, there are over one million items, from toothpaste to go-karts, and it's the work of both humans and machines that make the work possible.

Stephen: Whenever there's a workplace accident, you need to fill out a 1081 form.

Eric: Make sure everyone ships Next Day Delivery! This is gonna be just like the old times, you guys!

Stephen: Whatcha got on tap?
Bartender: Amazon, Amazon light, and Amazon IPA.
Stephen: Gimme Amazon light. I'm a Prime member.

Worker: What the fook are we doin', anyway? Breakin' our backs! Loadin' up forklifts! Gettin' papercuts from boxes! And for what? A measly paycheck that just barely covers our online purchases.
Stephen: Yeah, well, we should be thankful we even have jobs, huh? Before the fulfillment center opened, we didn't really have anything.
Worker: We had our dignity!

---

Stan: What did we do before Amazon?... I mean, before we could get whatever we wanted, where did we get stuff?
Eric: At the... The m... The m-m-m... the mall.

Stephen: We're... not Amazon Prime members any more.
Linda: Then what are we?
Stephen: Everyone involved in the strike has been dropped down one level from Prime. We're... We're now Amazon USDA Choice.

Linda: That's... fine. We'll be USDA Choice... I-It's almost as good as Prime.
Stephen: You're a good woman for saying that... But you're a bitch because it's a lie and you're patronizing me.

Jeff Bezos: See how the worker begins to question his determination. Without his Amazon Prime status, he fluctuates between being and non-being.

Kyle: The four of us are actually doing a group theme.
Eric: The changing faces of immigrants in America as told through bicycles.

Randy: I need my shit from Amazon to make it all work!
Boxed Josh: At what cost, sir?! Do you care that personal worth is being reduced by capitalists to exchange value?!
Randy: Oh, yeah. That's typical rhetoric from a Marxist box.

Boxed Josh: Free trade is not free-dom! Perhaps socialism is the answer!

Jeff Bezos: You didn't tell me there was a bike parade.
Mayor McDaniels: I didn't think it was relevant.
Jeff Bezos: Everything is relevant when it comes to customers.

Boxed Josh: The history of this world... is the history of class struggles. Alienated from the products of their labor... from their fellow laborers, and from their very essence, the oppressed worker will eventually strike back at those capitalists who control the means of production. We have nothing to lose but our chains. We will unite in revolution.
Worker: And if others try to break through the picket line?
Boxed Josh: Nothing else can be allowed into the fulfillment center... No matter what the cost.
Worker: We're ready to follow you, Josh.
Boxed Josh: Then follow me to hell!

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack!

Терри Пратчетт — Понюшка (3/5)

<< Ранее

&  По-видимому закон соблюдался. Хороший коп должен быть всегда готов проверить, насколько.

&  Коп должен постоянно учиться, и Ваймс многое узнал от лорда Витинари. Например, что не следует реагировать на какие-либо комментарии или ситуации, пока не решишь конкретно, что собираешься предпринять. Это позволяло избежать двух вещей: действий или слов невпопад, и в то же время – заставляло нервничать других.

&  Да и что такое счастье? Не более чем ложь, которой мы себя обманываем...

&  – ...я горжусь таким коллегой как вы, сержант Колон, и надеюсь, что вы простите меня за то, что я скажу, ведь бывает так, что вместо того, чтобы жить прошлым, нужно заткнуться, прислушаться к свежим идеям и вдолбить их в свою огромную толстую башку!

&  – Вы убивали?
     Чтобы не смотреть на парнишку, Ваймс поднял глаза к потолку:
     – Я предпочитаю считать, что сделал все возможное, чтобы этого не делать. И в целом, преуспел в этом, но, рано или поздно, всегда найдется тот, кто твердо решил тебя прикончить, и тебе приходится валить его просто потому, что он слишком туп, чтобы сдаться по-хорошему. От этого ничуть не легче, и мне еще ни разу не приходилось встречать труп, на который было бы приятно смотреть.

&  Гордость и выживание суть одно. Пусть ты не можешь контролировать собственную жизнь, но с помощью щетки ты можешь содержать ее в чистоте и показать миру, что хоть ты и беден, зато приличный человек. Это шло от ужаса. Страха опуститься, утратить ориентиры. Стать не лучше тех, живших в трущобах под названием Тени, кто дерется, размножается и тащит все, что плохо лежит.

Далее >>

Fists and Feet and Stuff

You're the Worst 1×10

Lindsay: ...you love raisins. Even though they're disgusting failed grapes.

Lindsay: I'm sorry, but that was before.
Paul: That was half an hour ago!
Lindsay: Right, before now.

Gretchen: ...maybe we're like two pit bulls, you know? You put either with another dog, and that dog's toast. But, together, they're couch buds. They nullify the threat through mutually assured destruction.

Gretchen: I don't know. I mean, it's bananas, Jimmy. But, um... What I mean is, uh... Whew! I mean, the punk rock choice, Jimmy, is yes. So screw it. Why not? Yes, Jimmy. Yes.

Jimmy: Look, Becca was a choice. A dumb choice, but a choice. You and I... we're inevitable.

Gretchen: We're gonna do this, even though we know there is only one way this ends. Whether in a week or 20 years. There is horrible sadness and pain coming, and we're inviting it...
Jimmy: God, I love the way you think.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

The Austere Academy: Part One

A Series of Unfortunate Events 2×1

♪ Look away, look away ♪
♪ Look away, look away ♪

♪ Ask any stable person "Should I watch?" And they will say ♪
♪ Look away, look away, look away ♪


Lemony Snicket: You probably shouldn't be here...

Lemony Snicket: This is a secret passageway in a restricted area about one third of the way through a dreadful and upsetting story.

Klaus: We've been tormented by treachery and villainy.
Violet: Child labor and leeches.
Klaus: And now, a new school.

Klaus: "Memento mori."
Lemony Snicket: When you learn what it means, you will understand why this story can have no happy ending, the way no story has a happy ending.
Violet: What does "memento mori" mean?
Klaus: ... Remember, you will die.

Count Olaf: My IQ has been measured in the upper double digits...

Klaus: A library is an island in a vast sea of ignorance.
Olivia Caliban: Particularly if that library is tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

Vice Principal Nero: What a lovely girl. Sweet as a butterscotch buttercup.

Vice Principal Nero: When you hear an incredible violin performance, it's tradition to clap and cheer and yell "Bravo!"

Vice Principal Nero: I know all about you. You've been to guardian after guardian, and adversity has always followed. Adversity means "trouble," by the way.

---

Vice Principal Nero: Klaus, you will be with Mrs. Bass in room two, which is easy to remember if you think of Tu B'Shevat, the Jewish equivalent of Arbor Day.

Vice Principal Nero: Why are you here?
Olivia Caliban: Why are any of us here? "Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them." Voltaire said that.
Vice Principal Nero: I thought we expelled that French kid for smoking.

Olivia Caliban: Too bad we can't fix stupidity at the vice principal level.
Larry: In a world often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one's literary and philosophical principles.

Lemony Snicket: The expression "making a mountain out of a molehill" simply means making a big deal out of a small deal. It's easy to see how this expression came about. Molehills are mounds of earth serving as condominiums for small mammals. And they have never caused anyone any harm, except for maybe a stubbed toe if you're being pushed by a bully... Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth and are constantly causing problems. From frostbite to protracted border disputes, hang gliding mishaps. Which is why when we
call something a mountain... we mean that it is a large amount of trouble.

Mrs. Bass: We have a brand new orphan today. It must be difficult for you to measure how unhappy you are without your parents, but we're gonna try...

Mrs. Bass: We'll continue our lessons on the metric system by measuring various objects. Later we'll have a quiz. The first thing to measure is this jar of mayonnaise I found in my garage.

Count Olaf: We need someone on the inside, a student who will help us infiltrate, if infiltrate is what I mean.
Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender: Do you mean "to penetrate an institution surreptitiously"?

Vice Principal Nero: Attendance is mandatory. Mandatory means "anyone who doesn't come has to buy me candy and watch me eat it."

White Faced Woman #1: En garde!
White Faced Woman #2: That's French for "We gotcha!"

Count Olaf: You know what they say about the food service industry... It's a cold, cold business.

Count Olaf: So much to learn, and I am here to school you.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Origins (Изуверский интернат)

Терри Пратчетт — Понюшка (2/5)

<< Начало

&  – Значит предки Сибиллы частенько заходили к отшельнику поболтать, если им встретился неразрешимый философский парадокс?
     – Святые небеса! Да нет же, сэр! Даже представить себе не могу одного из них в такой ситуации. Они никогда не связывались ни с каким философским параллаксом. Они же – аристократы!
     Аристократам до лампочки какой-то там параллакс. Они его просто не замечают. Философия, сэр, рассматривает возможность, что вы можете ошибаться, а истинный аристократ точно знает, что он всегда прав. И это не тщеславие, знаете ли, это врожденная уверенность. Порой они могут быть безумны как погремушка, но их безумие всегда определенно и точно.

&  – Понимаете, сэр, уверенность – это то, что дает им их богатство и поместья. Иногда она же помогает все потерять...
     – Это снобизм и мне это не нравится, – ответил Ваймс.
     – Что вы, командор, это не снобизм. По моему опыту в настоящих аристократах этого нет. В некоторых, я имею ввиду... им наплевать что о них думают соседи и не смущаются ходить в старых обносках. Они уверенные люди. Понимаете?

&  Ваймс разделял популярное заблуждение, что ни одна банка не считается полностью пустой, если в ней хорошенько поскрести ложкой.

&  Где-то глубоко в своем черством сердце Ваймс восхищался старым сварливым мясником с его вечнозеленой самооценкой и абсолютной готовностью ни о чем не менять свое мнение ни при каких обстоятельствах.

&  В списке Ваймса лорд Ржав был опасным шутом, но была одна тонкость – вместе с тем он был отчаянно, если не самоубийственно, храбрым. И все бы ничего, если б не самоубийство тех бедолаг и глупцов, которые следовали за ним в бой.

&  Единственно важным в смертельном бою является то, чтобы смерть не была вашей.

&  Ваймс отлично вел себя на ужинах, насобачившись на многочисленных мероприятиях в Анк-Морпорке. Вся суть была в том, чтобы не вмешиваться в болтовню остальных гостей и во всем с ними соглашаться, а самому в это время поразмышлять о своем.

&  Забавно, насколько народ так и тянет поболтать с полицейским о преступлениях, даже не подозревая, что их выдают крохотные странности поведения.

&  «Ух ты, век живи, век учись, – подумал Ваймс, – или что важнее, век учись и век живи».

Далее >>

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Jurassic World (2015) <<

Ian Malcolm: I'm talking about... man-made cataclysmic... change.
Senator: What kind of change?
Ian Malcolm: Change is like death. You don't know what it looks like until you're standing at the gates.

Benjamin Lockwood: ... So we have created sanctuary. No fences, no cages, no tourists... just as Mother Nature intended. John said it best: "These creatures don't need our protection. They need our absence."

Benjamin Lockwood: John and I. What fools we were. Trying to run before we'd learned to walk. As all young men do, I suppose.

Owen Grady: Rescue Op. Save the dinosaurs from an island that's about to explode... what could go wrong?

Claire Dearing: Oh, Owen? Be careful, okay?
Owen Grady: If I don't make it back... remember... you're the one who made me come.

Eli Mills: If the entire run of our sorry history has taught us one irrevocable lesson, it's that man is inevitably drawn to war and is willing to use any means necessary to win it.

Claire Dearing: You authorized the creation of the Indominus rex!
Eli Mills: You exploited a living thing in a cage for money. How is that different? Huh? And you. The man who proved raptors can follow orders. You never thought about the applications of your research, Owen? How many millions a trained predator might be worth? You two, you're the parents of the new world.

Owen Grady: Claire. You press that button, there is no going back.

Claire Dearing: We can't let them die.
Maisie Lockwood: ... They're alive, like me.

Ian Malcolm: ... Humans and dinosaurs are now gonna be forced to coexist. These creatures were here before us. And if we're not careful, they're gonna be here after. We're gonna have to adjust to new threats that we can't imagine. We've entered a new era. Welcome to Jurassic World.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Σ humus:nbsp;«Однозначно лучше первого мира и уж точно динамичней. Хуан Антонио Байона не стал идти по стопам своего предшественника и решил снимать то, что ему лучше всего дается. Поэтому получился настоящий хоррор, пусть и не очень кровавый. Плохие актеры первого ряда компенсируются прекрасными актерами второго плана, прошлое унылое бла-бла-бла и беготня от динозавра на шпильках уступило место безудержному экшену, динозавры заполнили не только отдаленный остров, но и особняк в Калифорнии. Динозавр на крыше особняка вместо традиционного петушка и зауропод в коридоре - что еще нужно для счастья в таком фильме? Третья часть развернется уже в черте города, динозавры идут к вам. Встречайте новых репатриантов.»

>> Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

The Trolley Problem

The Good Place 2×5

Chidi: This is an exciting day! We are going to tackle The Trolley Problem.

Chidi: What do you think about writing a rap musical about Kierkegaard?

Eleanor: Michael's not going to learn how to be a good person overnight. He's not even a person. He's just a bunch of evil shoved up the butt of an evil mannequin, you know. Teaching him to be good... it's like... teaching me how to be not hot. How would you even do it?

Chidi: But definitely a no on the rap musical? I mean, if we really...
    ♪ My name is Kierkegaard, ♪
    ♪ and my writing is impeccable. ♪
    ♪ Check out my teleological ♪
    ♪ suspension of the ethical— ♪

Chidi: In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of "Les Misérables," in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here?
Michael: "Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. The thief is bad. The officer chasing him is bad. All the whiny prostitutes are bad. Plus, they're all French, so they're going to the Bad Place automatically."

Michael: Chidi, I've been around a long time... like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it's a negative 17 points... 20 if it's a baguette because that makes you more French.

Eleanor: I once had a brief fling with a non-famous Hemsworth brother, but even Larry Hemsworth had more status than Jason. Jason didn't even have a job... in a sad way, not in the good, rich way.

Michael: Again, just a simulation... an almost impossibly lifelike simulation.
Eleanor: Would someone's foot really fly off their body like that? That was kind of cool. Ethically speaking.

Michael: Trolley Problem version number seven. Chidi opted to run over five William Shakespeares instead of one Santa Claus...

Eleanor: You've been staring at the second page of this book for an hour.
Chidi: When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.

Michael: Honestly, I don't get the appeal. Diamonds are literally carbon molecules lined up in the most boring way. They're worthless space garbage. What you're holding right now... that's basically meteorite poop.

Michael: ...And finally, Chidi. You were a tough nut to crack, but I think I figured it out. This is a replica of a lost notebook from the desk of Immanuel Kant. It contains never-before-seen thoughts and musings and several, uh... crude erotic doodles. Interesting guy, actually.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

Christine (1983)

Regina Cunningham: That's noise pollution, what you're doing! You might as well be dumping toxic waste on our lawn!

Bemis: She smiled at me! I wanna have deep, meaningful sex with her.

George LeBay: Her name's Christine.
Arnie Cunningham: I like that.

George LeBay: My asshole brother bought her back in September '57. That's when you got your new model year, in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world, 'cept maybe for pussy.

Regina Cunningham: You could've consulted with us.
Arnie Cunningham: I've consulted with you about everything I've ever done. Everything here is a committee meeting, and I get outvoted 2-to-1! This is no meeting. I bought it, that's it.

Dennis Guilder: What is it about that car, huh?
Arnie Cunningham: I don't know. Maybe, for the first time in my life, I've found something that's uglier than me. And I know I can fix her up.
Dennis Guilder: You're not ugly, Arnie... Queer, maybe, but not ugly.

Will Darnell: Good hands... Bad taste in cars.

Will Darnell: You know, Pepper... you can't polish a turd.

Regina Cunningham: Can't we even talk about this like rational human beings?
Arnie Cunningham: One of them took a shit on the dashboard of my car, mom! Now, how's that for rational, huh?

Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is tryin' to kill your kids?

Arnie Cunningham: Okay... show me.

Rudolph Junkins: I understand... one of the perpetrators defecated on the dashboard. I would've thought you'd be madder than hell. I would've thought you would've reported that.
Arnie Cunningham: Shit wipes off.

Rudolph Junkins: The kid was cut in half. They had to scrape his legs up with a shovel.
Arnie Cunningham: Isn't that what you're supposed to do with shit... scrape it up with a little shovel?

Will Darnell: Okay, Jack... come on out. The ride is over. If I'm gonna have to come in and get you... I'm gonna get you.

Arnie Cunningham: You wanna watch what you call my car? She's real sensitive.
Dennis Guilder: Is she?... Sorry, Christine.

Arnie Cunningham: Let me tell you a little something about love. It has a voracious appetite. It eats everything. Friendship, family... It kills me how much it eats. But I'll tell you something else. Feed it right, it can be a beautiful thing, and that's what we have. When someone believes in you, you can do anything in the universe. When you believe right back in that someone, watch out, world! Because nobody can stop you. Nobody, ever!

Arnie Cunningham: No shitter ever came between me and Christine!

Arnie Cunningham: Oh, man, there is nothing finer... than being behind the wheel of your own car. Except, maybe, for pussy.

Leigh Cabot: God, I hate rock 'n' roll.

--
++ Quotes on the IMDb
+ Soundtracks!

A Street Cat Named Bob (2016)

Val: I prefer the sound of silence to bullshit.

Elsie: Got yourself a lovely ginger, all right. I had a ginger tom just like him once. Loved him with all me heart.
James: He's got a mind of his own.
Elsie: That's the point. The gingers, they got wills like iron, they have. Mine wouldn't leave my side till his last breath.

Elsie: You got yourself a lifelong partner there. Better friends than people, they are.

Val: What are you doing for Christmas?
James: Betty said she'd spend it with me... as long as I didn't mention the words "Christmas" or "merry" in any order.

Betty: Do you ever wonder why people kiss with their lips? I mean, why not... rub ears like, "I want to hear you." Or wrists, like this...

Betty: You lied to me!
James: No, I didn't! I just shaded the truth a little.

Val: "Can I do it straight?" That's always an addict's question. Think of the worst flu you've ever had. Multiply that by a hundred. Do you know what "riding the bike" is? When you can't keep your legs still even when you're lying down. For a week, every day will be a fight. Every hour, a struggle not to go out and score... It's harder coming off methadone than kicking heroin.

James: A friend helped me. And when I was stuck, her advice was... start by mentioning that everyone gets a second chance. But that not everyone manages to take them.

--
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Simone

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 2×1

Susie: Hey, why does every girl there sound like a guy who's just been kicked in the nuts?

Susie: There's nothing exciting about Philadelphia.
Midge: Well, I've never been, and I've always wanted to go.
Susie: Take Sixth Avenue, add a bell, that's Philadelphia.
Midge: I don't think that's accurate.

Midge: I'm here! What is it? What's the matter? What's missing? Eye, eye, ear, ear, nose, hand, foot. Blood? No blood. No blood! Ethan's fine. Is it Esther? Oh, God. What's wrong? What's bad? You look fine. Your eyes are asymmetrical. Is that why you called me? Her eyes are asymmetrical? I know that! I have a contingency plan!

Midge: Papa, did you ask when she'd be back?
Abe: Yes.
Midge: A second ago you assumed.
Abe: Asked, assumed... same thing.
Midge: Not at all the same thing.
Abe: Pretty close.
Midge: You teach at Columbia. They should be terrified.

Abe: All right, I'll admit that sometimes I tune people out, but mostly because they rarely have anything useful or interesting to say.

Abe: ...And then we'll have a little talk about loyalty. To the person who signs the checks, not the person you like more. American loyalty!

Abe: Okay, is, uh... is this enough?... Yeah, you're welcome for the tip. For D-Day. You pick.

Abe: Everyone here has murdered at least three people in their lifetimes.

Midge: She's drafting us. She's drafting us.
Abe: Don't look her in the eye, it'll only rile her up.

---

Abe: I can see the sky...
Rose: I just love this view.
Abe: Uh, I see a pipe and more roof. Oh, there's a dead bird over there, that's nice.

Rose: I thought you smoked.
Midge: Not pure hellfire, no.
Rose: Well, put it out; I'll smoke it later.
Abe: You'll smoke it later?!

Abe: You got a dog?!
Rose: Everyone, meet Simone. Simone.

Abe: All right, playtime's over. I am telling that Nazi downstairs that you are leaving tonight... Why the hell didn't you teach her to speak French?!

Rose: Marie's not a Nazi... She's just flexible.

Midge: I've missed you, Mama.
Rose: I've missed me, too.

Zelda: I am sorry for you, Miss Miriam. To lose the boy who climbs out your window, that is hard.

Rose: So tell me, how do you like Paris so far?
Midge: It's very... Parisian.

Midge: We found an adorable hotel right near here.
Rose: Oh, yes? What's it called?
Midge: Le something.

Rose: You know, you should go to the Louvre tomorrow. Get a little culture before you head back home.

Rose: I think we should have the chicken. I know that sounds simple, but a well-made roast chicken is the sign of a truly great chef.

Rose: Stay in the moment, Miriam. You need to learn to stay in the moment. Look around. See where you are. You're in Paris. Take it in. Internalize it.

Abe: Now, if you'll excuse me, my dinnertime is 6:00. Only gangsters eat at 9:00 after some bootlegging and a hot game of craps. We will continue this nightmare tomorrow.

Midge: We have children.
Joel: Yes.
Midge: We will have to see each other forever.
Joel: Yes.
Midge: Until we are dead.
Joel: Yes.
Midge: And then for four to six months after.
Joel: Okay, apparently you know something I don't.

--
On the IMDb
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Терри Пратчетт — Понюшка

<< Я надену полночь (Плоский мир — 38)
<< Бац! (Городская стража — 7)

Плоский мир — 39
Городская стража — 8

  “ «Гоблинское восприятие мира – культ или даже религия под названием «Унггэ»...

&  – Там, где есть полицейский, там всегда есть место преступлению, запомни это, сержант.

&  Если ты решил, что выиграл спор с женой, что по каким-то магическим законам природы для мужа совершенно невероятно, то, значит, ты все неверно понял.

&  – Короче говоря, Барабантер, некоторое количество бандитов среди низшего класса в городе достойно улыбки, если не аплодисментов, ради здоровья самого города, но что прикажешь делать, если в преступность втянуты благородные или богатейшие слои общества? Если для бедняка, который от голода пойдет на кражу, будет достаточно и года в тюрьме, то какой высоты должна быть виселица для богача, который из жадности преступает закон?

&  – Как тебе местный штат, Вилликинс?
     – О, тащат потихоньку, сэр, но не больше, чем все на моей памяти. Каждый что-нибудь ворует. Таков мир и привилегии, предлагаемые работой.

&  Но ровно в пять утра Мать-Природа нажала какую-то потайную кнопку, и мир сошел с ума: каждая божья птаха и тварь, и, судя по звукам, даже аллигатор, громко запели, чтобы другие могли их послушать.

&  История     это то, что делаешь ты сейчас. Лорд Витинари, просто на всякий случай, хранил связку ключей от оставшейся, как назло, от эпохи «царизма» и хранящейся в подвале целой кучи убедительных пыточных механизмов в идеальном, отлично смазанном состоянии. История, и правда, это то, что ты делаешь, и лорд Витинари делал с ней... все что хотел.

&  – Кем бы ты себя не считал когда-то, Сэм Ваймс, ты сильно вырос, и ты заслужил свой рост. Ты слышал выражение, что сливки всегда всплывают на поверхность?

Далее >>

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

This Is Us 3×9

Jack: I got 48 hours left with you, kid. That's all. ... And I don't know what after that.

Kevin: This is excruciating, you know. ....it's like we're stuck in one of those Netflix documentaries, like the pizza bomber one, you know? Where they just unraveling all the clues. And then you have to watch, right? 'Cause you're at the last episode.

Zoe: The thing about documentaries is, you can't force them to end the way you want them to...

Beth: I'm happy to help... in an unofficial, like, best-wife-in-the-world capacity.
Randall: Oh, I love that capacity. That's my favorite capacity.

Beth: This family lifts each other up. You hear me?
Randall: Do I hear you? You're my favorite sound in the world.

Beth: You are prepared.... Whatever they throw at you, I want you to return it. Like Serena. You are fierce, dignified and in top form. Can you see it?
Randall: I'm mostly just seeing Serena Williams in that catsuit, but yes... no, thank you. I can see it.

---

Randall: Take a chance on me. Take a chance on the man with the shovel. Take a chance! Take a chance! Take a chance... Take a chance.

— It may not be the answer you're looking for, but maybe it's the answer to something bigger...

Toby: I think it makes you smile. And when you smile, the world is a better place... See? The world just got a little better.

Beth: You Serena'd the crap out of that debate.

Randall: Listen. We're your parents. We're here to help you. In a very cool, laid-back kind of way, without it becoming a thing.
Beth: We love you no matter what, okay?

Beth: Look at me. You see me?.. Look at your dad. You see him?.. Do you see anything other than two people who love you more than any two people could ever love anyone in the entire world?

Zoe: Maybe it's not the ending. Maybe we're just in the middle.

--
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House of Cards 6×7

Chapter 72

Doug: There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong. Or useless pain... the sort of pain that's only suffering.

Claire: ... Now, my purpose is to elevate America, fight for America, and if it ever came to it, die for America. I will be father, mother, leader and friend. Thank you so much.

Claire: This is grounds for prosecution, Nora.
Nora: Yes, maybe. But the US Attorney would argue...
Claire: Replace the US Attorney. She's been dragging her feet on this for months.
Nora: Ma'am, we still live in a world of due process. That would send a chilling message...
Claire: The message is we need to protect our democracy!

Claire: Such a strange feeling. To be wholly responsible for the life of another. Also, I hear, when you have kids, you never... sleep quite the same again.
Janine: There are two kinds of pain...

Petrov: I'm sad to say, but there is a Russian troll factory that has begun to manipulate your husband's accomplishments...

Petrov: We have unfortunately entered an era where our digital truths are vulnerable.

Petrov: History belongs to the highest bidder now...

Reed: He never stops talking. Every time I see that guy, his mouth is running.
Claire: Because he always has an audience and you never know what he's going to say.

Reed: Claire Hale... What do you want?
Claire: ... I want... every door to be wide open and stay that way.

Claire: Hi, Francis, it's me... I'm five minutes away.

---

Annette: Hello?...
Claire: You fucking cunt. It's a girl.

Doug: After all this time. All these years together. Everything that we did for Frank. .... Are you seriously telling me, you're gonna choose her?
Nathan: Literally, all I care about is getting out of this alive.

Congressman Cole: No Supreme Court justice has ever been impeached.
Claire: The good Justice Abruzzo wouldn't want to be the first then, would he?
Congressman Cole: Justice Abruzzo... is black.
Claire: Which makes this all the more... There's that word again, tragic.

Claire: Oh. I don't judge, Justice Abruzzo... I'll correct that. Except for mendacity. That I can't support.

Melody Cruz: Nazi-like tactics? You bring up Nazis in any situation other than the Second World War, you've already lost the argument.

Seth: She's polling in the high 70s. We're looking at close to 80 by the midterms.
Annette: She's weaponized her feminism, and it's grown tiresome. "I'm a mother, I'm a general." Spare me. Anyone that popular is bad for democracy.

Annette: And what about all the conspiracy nonsense we'll be hearing?
Seth: The theories are a useful distraction. And eventually, they consume themselves.

Usher: There's one hiccup. It's a big one. She's with child. That is a variable we don't know how to account for in our models or predict.
Annette: We use it. Play into it. We'll make her a martyr. A victim of the times. A feminist icon. God, she might even end up on a coin.

Claire: This is my house, and I want you out.

Janine: It was the same thing Lucas was working on and Zoe before that. Always with the same problem, no one will believe it.

Melody: And what does the prospect of becoming a mother, while being the leader of the free world, feel like?
Claire: Bittersweet.

Claire: If I've learned anything from partnerships, you have to choose someone who'd take a bullet for you.

Claire: Come and get me, Doug.

Doug: She leaves me no choice.

Claire: ... If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream!

--
On the IMDb

Rickmancing the Stone

Rick and Morty 3x2

Summer: It's called "carpe diem," Morty. Look it up.
Morty: You look it up! Y-Y-You don't even... You don't even know what it means!
Summer: That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems.

Rick: Listen to your sister, Morty. To live is to risk it all. Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

Wind: Loser...

Morty: Rick, can we not leave without my sister?
Rick: Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day looking for another one. "Sum-sum," let's go!

Death Stalker Leader: Your blood will be my lotion...

Death Stalker Leader: Kill me, please.
Summer: Okay, but not because you told me to.

Rick: Kids, weird pitch... Let's have this be our new life. Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers!

---

Summer: Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers are going to what used to be Seattle to hunt what used to be people. I'm going.
Rick: Sounds good. Stay hydrated.

Morty: Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, and let's get the "F" out of "H."

Summer: How come you guys dress like you're in a theme-park stunt show, but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys?

Rick: Uh, I just remembered. They're out doing something completely ordinary and kid-related. Don't panic.

Please. Slavery was a family business. I didn't ask to be born into it. If anything, I'm the victim here.

Rick: I want you and your sister to come home.
Morty: Oh, but... don't... Don't you have infinite versions of me and my sister?
Rick: You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. Look, there's no replacing either of you without an amount of work that would ultimately defeat the purpose.

Morty: Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, whether it's our parents' marriage, a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, sooner or later, we got to let it go.

Morty: I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, I-I-I didn't... I wasn't sure it was gonna work.
Rick: Come on, Morty. No union built on running from your problems lasts more than five years, seven tops. Grandpa just sped things up with a few creature comforts of modern society.

Wind: Loser...

--
On the IMDb
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Buddha Box

South Park 22×8

Eric: ... It's like everybody needs something from me. All I want is a little time with my phone instead of always listening to people's needy bullshit.

Eric: Anxiety? Is that cool?
Therapist: It's pretty common these days. What it really is more than anything is an excuse to be lazy and lame to everyone around you...
Eric: Oh, my God. That's perfect!

Eric: All right, that's it! Everyone stop! Just (BLEEP) stop right now! Listen up, people! I have anxiety! That means I'm in my shell and have a hard time expressing myself. I find it difficult to engage with others! So everyone shut the (BLEEP) up, because my anxiety is up here right now!!

Commercial: We live in a world of many distractions. It's hard to find peace. In the hustle and bustle of modern times, we've lost the one thing we all need. More quality one-on-one time... with our phone. But now you can have it with Buddha Box.

Kyle: What the hell is that?
Stan: I think it's Cartman.

Eric: Imagine being able to shut them out for a little while, Craig, so you can focus on what matters. With Buddha Box, you can cut out all the unwanted noise. Not have to deal with conversations that are of no interest to you...

P.C. Principal: Look, you and I have been having a lot of problems. Clearly what we both need is more quality, one-on-one time with our phones.

Man # 1: Come on, I didn't mean pussy drink as in female genitalia... Okay, I'm sorry! I'll order a Black Russian!
Bartender: Hey, what's all that racket down there?
Man # 2: Oh, there's some PC Babies upset about certain drink descriptions.
Bartender: Fine. We'll take them off the menu.
Man # 2: Who's makin' a difference? Who's the future?

Eric: What's going on?
Kyle: They just scored again, you fat (BLEEP)!
Eric: Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm dealing with my anxiety! Do you know how hard it is for people with my condition to come out and even do things like this? Living with anxiety is awful, huh?
Kyle: Can we get another goalie, please?
Eric: Oh, yeah! Sure! Yeah, because people with anxiety shouldn't be allowed to play sports, right, Kyle? You know, our world is dark and scary enough without people like you making us feel inferior... Asshole!

---

Therapist: Anxiety can make you feel unable to cope. But living with someone who has anxiety can be a bit of a roller coaster, as well. We have to support our loved ones with their anxiety and try to understand their illness.
Tweek: I just feel like Craig has changed so much lately! He barely even talks to me anymore!
Therapist: Well, because his anxiety makes him feel like anything he says might sound wrong. That's why we must nurture our loved ones so they feel safe.

Kyle: I got news for you, Cartman! Everyone has anxiety! Everyone gets nervous! Everyone is afraid being around people! Everyone has feelings they'd rather stay home alone. And you know what they do? They get over it! And they stop being a piece of shit.
Eric: Everyone has anxiety?
Kyle: Yes.
Eric: Oh, my God! I know what I have to do now! Y-You're right, Kyle! You're right!
Kyle: What?! No, no! What did I just do?

Broadcaster: All right, South Park, and now here's that special treat we told you about. Live with us in the studio is a hot new band... The PC Babies. They're gonna perform their new song, which is about the injustice of white people in dreadlocks. It's called "Waaaaghgh."

Eric: I have found enlightenment, but there are so many others who suffer... It's very important to take the time to shut out the outside word. In the Hindu religion, there's a saying, "namaste." It means, "(BLEEP) you. I have anxiety."

Radio Owner: These are the PC Babies! Don't you know how big they are? In just one day, they protested a bar, stopped construction of a problematic viaduct, and wrote a hit single about cultural appropriation.

P.C. Principal: Our phones are the cause of stress, not the relief from it. We are banning phones and Buddha Boxes from school, and we suggest you all strictly limit their use at home, as well....
Strong Woman: I don't think anyone's listening to you.
P.C. Principal: Yeah. Nobody's listening. And nobody's watching...

--
On the IMDb
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Jesse Stone: Night Passage (2006)

Stone Cold (2005) <<

Abby: Jesse, one of the rules of conversation is that when asked a question, you don't give a one-word answer.
Jesse: Okay, want to have dinner with me?
Abby: Yes.

Jesse: I wouldn't have hired me, would you?

Hasty: What an incredibly stupid thing to do...

Abby: I wouldn't have figured you for a beer drinker.
Jesse: I'm not. I'm a Scotch on the rocks drinker.

Luther: I think coffee and donuts tend to certify one's copness.

Michelle: You gonna kick me in the nuts?
Jesse: That would be difficult.

Michelle: Did you have a drink?
Jesse: Yes, I did.
Michelle: So how come that's okay and smoking dope isn't?
Jesse: It's legal, and smoking dope is illegal.
Michelle: So that makes it right?
Jesse: Nope, just legal and illegal.

Jesse: Most people don't have trouble seeing what's right and wrong. Doing it is sometimes complicated, but knowing what's right usually isn't so hard.

Jesse: D'Angelo, please, don't call me Skipper.

Jesse: I want this to be between just you and me... I need a hat.
D'Angelo: We got hats, Skipper.
Jesse: How do I put this delicately?.. I don't like them. I'm used to navy blue. Can you have one made up for me? PPD, silver letters? And maybe you could have them embroider "Chief" on the back.

Jesse: [He] is stupid and mean and he doesn't like me... On the other hand, if I had to, I could shoot him just as easily as if he were smart and kind.

Abby: Am I too young for you?
Jesse: Is that another way of saying I'm too old for you?

Veterinarian: Did you breed this dog?
Jesse: No. Why?
Veterinarian: He's not been neutered. Any particular reason why?
Jesse: Somehow I didn't think Boomer would be Boomer without testicles.

Jesse: This? This is nothing. I just had to bury my dog.

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb

>> Jesse Stone: Death in Paradise (2006)

Evolution

The Walking Dead 9×8

Jesus: That's... not normal.
Daryl: No. No, it ain't.

Negan: Screw it. My mind never "empties," anyway. Generally goes straight to that place that would blush the collar right off of you.

Gabriel: We'll try this again next week.
Negan: It's your world, boss.

Luke: What's not to like about us? We're a solid-looking group. We're scrappy.

Tara: It's like the old gang's back together...

Carol: ...And we kept going. For each other. We've always been a family.
Michonne: And we still are. But Kingdom is Kingdom, Hilltop is here, and Alexandria is there, and in between, there's a whole lot of broken world, and we cannot pretend otherwise. We've got to take care of our own now. It's just the way it is.

---

Negan: You know, I read something fascinating the other day... You know what a smell is? It's when odor molecules activate neurons in your nasal passages. So every time you come in here to change my bedpan and smell my shit, something that was actually in my ass goes right up your nose.

Gabriel: It's bad enough I got to clean up your shit, I shouldn't have to listen to it, too.

Michonne: At least they're alive so they can hate me for it.

Rosita: They have no idea what they're dealing with.

Eugene: They were... They were whispering to each other.

Henry: If I had to explain it, you wouldn't understand.

Jesus: They're dead, they're not evolving.
Eugene: Being dead hasn't exactly stopped them from perambulating ad infinitum, though, has it? They're not dead in any sense that makes sense.

Jesus: It's not any crazier than the dead being alive in the first place.

W.D.: You... are where... you do not belong.

--
On the IMDb

Six Thanksgivings

This Is Us 3×8

Young Randall: I want every Thanksgiving to be like this for the rest of my life...

Rebecca: This is probably our last Thanksgiving with the kids all living here...

Randall: I don't care if it's a mistake, she's my wife!

Nick: I'm not gonna save a kid's life just so he can grow up one day and zap Americans.

Jack: You need to wake the hell up! This ville is nothing but women and kids and old men.

Nick: You can be nice to them all you want, Jack... But they're not just women and children.

Kate: All right, KaToby on three?

Jessie: I... I don't know why Thanksgiving depresses me. It's not my holiday. In fact, isn't it to celebrate you for defeating us in your independence?
William: No. It was not.

Jessie: I'm in no mood to spin lies about the joys of being sober.
William: You stay sober, you won't have to lie about it.

Jessie: Good Lord. Listening to jazz sober sounds awful.

Kate: What is this?
Toby: Uh... This is what happens when you leave me by myself to handle Thanksgiving dinner.

Toby: ...So I had to improvise.
Kate: You know what this is?
Toby: A disaster.
Kate: No. This is, like, Jack Pearson-level magic.
Toby: Blasphemy. Take it, you take it back.

--
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