You Knew It Was a Snake

You're the Worst 3×12

Gretchen: It's like being molested by an audio book. What is this?
Jimmy: "The Width of a Peach." My masterpiece of multi-generational sexploitative literature.

Jimmy: I stayed up all night and wrote 35 amazing pages just to spite you. So, ha! Consider yourself thoroughly spited.

Lindsay: What? I'm supposed to wear pajamas like an old?

Lindsay: My body, my choice.

Lindsay: Me and my sisters, we fought for this right for millenniums. This is why Margaret Thatcher went to prison.

Dorothy: Look, I admit it is a good thing, okay, yes. Sometimes minorities get jobs over white people, even when they're both equally qualified, or maybe the minority is slightly less qualified. But I think that that is good for the world, and I simply got you these cool and funky pastries 'cause they're cool and funky, not because they're Latino, or whatever.

Dorothy: Look, can we at least agree that the true enemy here is the white male?
Jimmy: Whoa! Not me. I'm an immigrant. Our story is so tragic. Do you know how many of us drown every day trying to get over here? And the true villain is the white American male...
Paul: Bad things happen to white American men, too. Real bad things.

Jimmy: You have dropped eight iPhones in the last year... Child-rearing requires skill. It's not the same as binge-watching a season of Exemplify.
Gretchen: Oh my god! That is a so sexist and man's planning. You a Gamergater? Am I living with a Gamergater?

---

Paul: Oh, look, wife. I'm about to rip my lung tissue asunder with the devil's tobacco because my life has been destroyed by the woman I love!
Lindsay: Your body, your choice.

Gretchen: WHAT?!?!
Jimmy: Nothing. I just... Sometimes I look at you and I think, "How did this person get in my house?"

Dorothy: Knock, knock. White lady visiting from the Aryan zone. You still mad?

Paul: Becca and Vernon had their baby. It's a girl. Tallulah.
Lindsay: Ew.

Gretchen: I think this may be impossible.
Jimmy: But can't that be okay? I mean, the-the vast majority of all human effort, however great or miniscule, ends in failure. So, what are your options?! You just ad-admit pre-defeat because the odds are that you're gonna be right? Or you do it anyway?

Jimmy: Maybe we're a success... regardless of the outcome, because... we tried. Maybe there's beauty in the struggle against near certain failure.

Paul: I guess... in the end, we were just two stars born light-years apart. You need to find someone in your own constellation, Lindsay...

Paul: You stabbed me. You cuckolded me. You ruined my life... Better lawyer up, bitch.

Gretchen: We didn't solve anything...
Jimmy: I know.
Gretchen: Okay.

--
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Jackie Brown (1997)

Ordell Robbie: Oh, uh-uh-uh, here we go. AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room... accept no substitutes.

Louis Gara: Who was that?
Ordell Robbie: That's Beaumont.
Louis Gara: Who's Beaumont?
Ordell Robbie: An employee I had to let go.
Louis Gara: What'd he do?
Ordell Robbie: He put hisself in a position where he was gonna have to do ten years in prison. That's what he did. And if you know Beaumont... you know there ain't no goddamn way he can do ten years. If you know that, then you know Beaumont's gonna do anything Beaumont can... to keep from doin' them ten years... includin' tellin' the federal government any and every motherfucking thing... about my black ass. Now, that, my friend, is a clear-cut case... of him or me... and you best believe... it ain't gonna be me.

Detective Mark Dargas: With your prior, the judge will give you two years. Now, you'll probably only end up serving a year and some change... but if I was a 44-year-old black woman... desperately clinging on to this one shitty, little job I was fortunate enough to get... I don't think that I'd think I had a year to throw away. So let's start again now, shall we?

Ordell Robbie: Uh-uh-uh. I didn't hear you wash your hands.

Ordell Robbie: Is that what I think it is?
Jackie Brown: What do you think it is?
Ordell Robbie: I think it's a gun pressed up against my dick.
Jackie Brown: Well, you thought right. Now, take your hands from around my throat... nigger.

Max Cherry: I'll bet, besides maybe an afro, you look exactly how you did at 29.
Jackie Brown: Well, my ass ain't the same.
Max Cherry: Bigger?
Jackie Brown: Yeah.
Max Cherry: Ain't nothin' wrong with that!

Ordell Robbie: I suppose you see a piece of this for yourself?
Jackie Brown: It's my plan. We're in this together.
Ordell Robbie: Yeah, but it's my money, and I don't need no fuckin' partners.
Jackie Brown: I ain't your partner. I'm your manager. And I'm managing to get your money out of Mexico, into America, in your hands... and I'm managing to do it all under the nose of the cops. So, therefore, I'm your manager, and a manager gets 15%.
Ordell Robbie: No, a manager gets ten percent.
Jackie Brown: No, that's an agent.
Ordell Robbie: I'm gonna give you ten.
Jackie Brown: No. No. A manager gets 15%, agent gets 10. I'm getting 15%, all right?
Ordell Robbie: All I'm gonna give you is ten. And the same deal as before.
Jackie Brown: I can do that.

---

Melanie Ralston: You got to admit, he's not too bright.
Louis Gara: Oh... I wouldn't go so far as to say that.
Melanie Ralston: He moves his lips when he reads. What does that tell you?.. Let's say that he's streetwise, you know. We'll give him that. He's still a fuckup.

Louis Gara: I don't understand why you keep someone around your business and you can't even trust 'em.
Ordell Robbie: I ain't gotta trust her. I know her.
Louis Gara: I don't know what that means, man.
Ordell Robbie: Well, you can't trust Melanie... but you can always trust Melanie to be Melanie.

Max Cherry: If I saw an opportunity to walk away with a shopping bag full of money, would I take it?
Jackie Brown: You know where it came from. It's not like it's somebody's life savings. It wouldn't even be missed.
Max Cherry: Half a million dollars will always be missed.

Jackie Brown: I'm not sure you answered my question, Max.
Max Cherry: Which one?
Jackie Brown: If you had the chance, unemployed now... to walk away with a half million dollars... would you take it?

Ordell Robbie: You shot her? Twice?!

Ordell Robbie: It's Jackie Brown.

Ordell Robbie: My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumb ass.

Max Cherry: I'm 56 years old. I can't blame anybody for anything I do.

--
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I'm So Happy for You

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×5

Paula: I've said good-bye to a lot of people. And... you get used to it. You say hello, you say good-bye, and you just try to treasure the moments in between.

Rebecca: I'm... losing two friends at once. But I will be cheering you all on very sincerely from... my small, unprofitable pretzel store, with my no boyfriend, having not had sex since before the slammer, because... oh, right... I was also in jail.

White Josh: Hector loves this show. What is it about again?
Darryl: It's a British cop thing with a child murder in a fishing village. And it stars that Swedish actress and that Scottish guy. And some episodes are two hours and some are 30 minutes.
White Josh: Wow. All right. Sounds good.

Rebecca: What I'm about to say is-is horrible... I see life as a contest, and I'm now losing.
Dr. Akopian: What? R-Rebecca, I-I didn't hear you.
Rebecca: I feel less than when others are doing better than me.
Dr. Akopian: Okay. I'll come sit next to you.

Rebecca: It's funny, 'cause I was saying I was behind so you would say, "No, no, no, you're not behind." But you said that I am. It's fine. No, it's just... It's slightly jarring when a medical professional confirms your worst fears, but that makes sense...

♪ It's confirm-ed ♪
♪ It's official ♪
♪ The group mind has decided you're in love ♪
♪ Say yes to long-term ♪
♪ Say yes ♪

♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss ♪
♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance ♪
♪ Kiss, dance, kiss, dance, kiss, dance ♪
♪ Yay! ♪

---

Valencia: Rebecca, you're being weird.
Rebecca: ... I don't even recognize that word anymore, 'cause the word is not "weird." It's actually "fizzy" now.

Rebecca: Fizzy is a word that means multiple things. It's like "sick" or "bad" or "aloha" or "shalom..."

Rebecca: ...and you can follow me on my Insta or my Finsta, if I let you.... Anyway, I got to go to a pop-up candy museum and then a hookah bar and then a party inside a photo booth. So got to dip. Oh, I'm sorry. "Dip" means "bounce," which means "peace out." Which means "leave."

Paula: You don't understand. You're not Mom. He grew in my stomach! His first sentence was, "Wuv you, Mama." For the first four years of his life, we were stapled together unless I was at work. And then from the ages of four to 18, I lost him to his stupid friends and knives and girls he never told me about and masturbation and selling pot, and now he's back, and he likes me, and I wuv him more than ever. And I just... I don't want to lose him yet, Scott! Please!

Heather: So true. So brutal... Trutal.

Darryl: Now, Netflix... is "hebbybebbynetflix." HBO Go is "hebbybebbyhbo."
White Josh: Mm-hmm. Oh, okay.
Darryl: Hulu is...
White Josh: Hmm? No, I think I got it.

Rebecca: I love this song! What's it called? "Endless Verses"? Huh? "Waiting for the Chorus"?.. "Only the Bad Parts of a Song"?

Rebecca: I continue to be horrible. Seriously, if I weren't me, I wouldn't talk to me.

Heather: Girl group is "forevah."
Valencia: And "evah."
Rebecca: And "evah."
Paula: And "evah."

Paula: ♪ 'Cause I always never believed in you ♪
    ♪ I never gave up giving up on you ♪
    ♪ Deep inside I always knew ♪
    ♪ That you'd eventually never come through ♪
    ♪ Not for a second did I think ♪
    ♪ You wouldn't end up dead or in the clink ♪
    ♪ For possession or assault or worse ♪

    ♪ 'Cause I've always never believed in you ♪
    ♪ I never once doubted doubting you ♪
    ♪ With every opportunity that you blew ♪
    ♪ All my worst fears just kept coming true ♪

    ♪ With every horrifying thing ♪
    ♪ You'd say or do ♪
    ♪ I continued to never believe in you ♪

Paula: ♪ 'Cause now I actually believe in you ♪
    ♪ No longer have a total lack of faith in you ♪
    ♪ Apparently there are things you can do ♪
    ♪ You're full of potential, and no one knew ♪
    ♪ Allow me to tip my hat to you, sir ♪
    ♪ 'Cause you're no longer a total loser ♪
    ♪ It feels strange to say it ♪
    ♪ But it's true ♪
    ♪ I weirdly, shockingly ♪
    ♪ Completely believe ♪
    ♪ In you ♪
    ♪ I believe, I believe, I believe ♪
    ♪ In you ♪

--
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The Crosswalk

Grace and Frankie 5×4

Grace: Okay, girls. Enjoy your fun, disgusting day.

Grace: You know my birthday is more "ignore-ignore."
Brianna: Oh, but this one's pretty spesh.
Grace: Thank you all. Thank you. Thank you. I'm afraid, though, you're all part of a fun Brianna prank. See, I'm actually 76 today. It's getting up there, but it's not quite... that number.

Brianna: We thought you were 76, too...
Grace: I am. Because last year I was 75 and we didn't have a party, the way I like it, and this is a whole year later.

Frankie: Eighty?! You're eighty?!
Grace: Stop saying that number.
Frankie: You are 23 years older than me?
Grace: Learn math.

Grace: I don't want the world to know I'm as old as I am.
Frankie: Why? Eighty is amazing! If you were a tortoise, you'd still be a teenager.
Grace: Yeah, but if you're a person at that number... everybody looks at you like you have no future.

Frankie: We can't be ruled by numbers. Not the ones people set for us or the ones that we made up for ourselves. Our job is to say "fuck it" to those numbers... and eat cake.
Grace: Frankie, you can't have your cake and "fuck it," too.
Frankie: Can I "fuck it" and then eat it?

--
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A Proper Sendoff

Billions 4×5

Bobby Axelrod: So, to our new AG. Long may he rule.

Rebecca Cantu: It's really only the ones we love, huh...
Wendy Rhoades: That make you want to kill them?

Rebecca Cantu: When I misplay something publicly and I feel like everyone's staring at me, I take comfort in this fact: most people are self-absorbed narcissistic assholes. So they might revel in your shit for a minute, because it distracts them from theirs. But... after that minute, they're gonna forget about you, just go right back to their own shitpile.

Bobby Axelrod: It'll blow over.
Chuck Rhoades: Yeah?
Bobby Axelrod: I dunno. She's been that angry at me before...
Chuck Rhoades: What'd you do to fix it?
Bobby Axelrod: Uh... Few million dollars, an Italian sports car, a piece of the profits, and I stopped suing you... And to be honest, she was still a little pissed. For a long time.

Mafee: I still look at you like Vincent Vega did Jules Winnfield... The smartest and toughest fella in the room.

Taylor: I don't feel very smart at the moment. I built a turbo engine here and the nitrous tank blew up in my face.

Bobby Axelrod: In our business, people never give back the money. So why are you giving back the money?

Bobby Axelrod: Talk... Talk more. About how that gratitude results in you spitting my capital back in my face like Furiosa did to Nux in Fury Road.

Bobby Axelrod: Either you confront it head on, or let it go. But don't keep giving it power over you by staying in the dark.

---

Bob Sweeney: This isn't about me, Chuck... Or you. This is about the People. ...... What was I supposed to do?
Chuck Rhoades: Uh. Fight harder! You're the governor! They're your people. Be their fucking champion! Stand up for the blessed sovereignty of the States versus the Fed. That's why we bowed and scraped to get these fucking jobs!
Bob Sweeney: Wow. It sounds so good when you say it... But I'd rather be the guy that didn't run out of money to keep the streets clean and safe in his first week.

Chuck Rhoades: Well, I plan to...
Rhoades, Sr.: Whatever it is, it won't be enough.

Chuck Rhoades: I'm in it, Dad, trying to get back my authority.
Rhoades, Sr.: Aim higher! Don't just get your juice back, Sonny. Send a fucking message! You've got to show them what you do with power...

Rhoades, Sr.: For longer than he was your enemy, Black Jack Foley was in your corner. So take this one last lesson from him...
Chuck Rhoades: Make them fear me.
Rhoades, Sr.: Your vengeance... your whim... your everything.

Wendy Rhoades: 'Password is no longer valid'. He changed it.
Mike Wagner 'Wags': May I? Nicole Aniston... Blair Williams. No. Wait... Cory Chase. If you're a Lisa Ann fan, you're a Cory Chase fanatic. She's a national treasure.

Bobby Axelrod: He was impressed that I'd paid attention to the stuff that didn't matter... because of course it matters. Everything fucking matters.
John Rice: So I should pay attention to the details?
Bobby Axelrod: And watch your six. Same rules for investing, cards...
John Rice: And women...
Bobby Axelrod: Exactly!

Bobby Axelrod: The money that I spent to educate you did not go totally to waste. The best education, though, is living it. Don't imagine what it's like to run two billion. Or five. Or ten. Just fucking run it.

Ari Spyros: I never thought I'd be part of a real life Wannsee Conference.... Or that it would be so much fun.

--
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Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Laramie Seymour Sullivan: Now the main lodge is all that's open. The pool is filled with ducks. And they'll even rent you a room by the hour if you ask real quietlike.... Although if we're bein' honest... that's probably the only reason that a priest, a vacuum salesman, and a negro... could afford freight here, am I right?... I'm just funnin'.

Father Daniel Flynn: If this is not a place for a priest, Miles... then this is exactly where the Lord wants me.

Miles Miller: The El Royale is a bi-state establishment. You have the option to stay in either the great state of California... or the great state of Nevada. Warmth and sunshine to the west... or hope and opportunity to the east. Which would you prefer?
Father Daniel Flynn: What's the difference?
Miles Miller: Between California and Nevada?
Father Daniel Flynn: Between the rooms.
Miles Miller: Well, for starters, rooms in California cost a dollar more.
Laramie Seymour Sullivan: Really? When did that happen? What makes 'em a dollar better?
Miles Miller: They're in California.
Laramie Seymour Sullivan: And that's worth a dollar?
Miles Miller: Some people think so.
Laramie Seymour Sullivan: You got a phone number for any of those people? 'Cause I sure would like to sell them one of these vacuum cleaners.

Miles Miller: I'm afraid for my soul. I've done horrible things.
Father Daniel Flynn: So? So has everybody. You'll be fine.

Billy Lee: You knew the game the second we started playing. Come on, Boots. You got no reason to cry no more. You're in California now.

---

Darlene Sweet: I will shoot you in the face. Believe me.
Father Daniel Flynn: I believe you.

Darlene Sweet: You spend your life getting shook, you learn how to spot a shaker.

Felix O'Kelly: Think the new guy is bent or just stupid?
Dock O'Kelly: Oh, I'm going with stupid, but I can be persuaded.

Dock O'Kelly: Oh, we got this, Felix, piece of cake. I got it under control...

Darlene Sweet: How much money are we talking exactly?

Billy Lee: Howdy.

Billy Lee: And maybe for tonight... we get to be our own Gods.

Billy Lee: Listen, if you're so worried about your soul... maybe you shouldn't have been doing all this bad shit in the first place...

Father Daniel Flynn: Who is this?
Darlene Sweet: Um... It's... Deep Purple, I think.
Father Daniel Flynn: Uh... It's not for me.

Darlene Sweet: I'd rather sit here and listen to the rain.

Darlene Sweet: How many people have you killed, Miles?

--
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Donar the Great

American Gods 2×6

♪ Take... ♪
♪ Ten terrific girls but only nine costumes ♪
♪ You're cooking up something grand ♪

Mr. Wednesday: Playing dead convincingly is an underrated skill.

Mr. Wednesday: Would you get my guitar out of the trunk, partner?

Mr. Wednesday: Dies irm, dies illa, Solvet saeclum in favilla, Teste David cum Sibylla. Huh? To dead malls everywhere: may you rot in the detritus of your own cupidity!

Mr. Nancy: I'm gonna count to seven and I'm startin' at four!

Mr. Wednesday: Tell me, wh-why do you wear the flanged thwarts?
Manfred: Sorry?
Mr. Wednesday: The angle cross of fylfot. The rune on Gunnvaldr's stone.
Manfred: Oh, my armband? It's the symbol of our organization. The Friends of New Germany.
Mr. Wednesday: Oh, right. I wasn't aware she'd landed on our shores.

Shadow Moon: All this for a leather jacket?
Sindri: Lou Reed's leather jacket! It's the most powerful item in the whole mall.

Donar Odinson: Why were they wearing the flanged thwarts?
Miss Columbia: They were Nazis, weren't they?
Al Grimnir: They're sheep in search of a shepherd. Like he is a God in search of worshippers.

Miss Columbia: American Nazis... They frighten me, Donnie.
Donar Odinson: They're only men. They're nothing to be afraid of.

---

Mr. Wednesday: He was a moody Jewish kid from Long Island. A destructive, drug-addled genius who defined an era by dredging the depths of his soul and setting them to the music of a badly tuned guitar. Oh, this jacket has rubbed shoulders with David Bowie, Grace Jones, Iggy Pop, Patty Smith. And it simply must be mine.

Mr. Wednesday: Former son. He died.
Shadow Moon: From what I've read, Thor was the son of Odin.
Mr. Wednesday: Donar was his... taken name. Germanic for thunder.

Shadow Moon: I don't understand. I-I-I don't get... how does Thor die? Zorya, I understand. She-she didn't have any believers left, it makes sense. But Thor? Thor? Everybody knows who Thor is. Why didn't he come back?
Mr. Wednesday: There are certain deaths our kind cannot come back from.

Technical Boy: The country, as you probably know, is on the brink of another war.
Miss Columbia: Is it? I've been out of the loop.
Technical Boy: America needs a goddess of substance to take us into the fight. My associates and I know all about you. Hoo, boy. You were doing great until Mademoiselle Liberty came along and stole your thunder. ....
Miss Columbia: She's Roman, actually... Libertas. Resurrected by the French as a gift to the Americans. Funny old world.
Technical Boy: Hm. Roman, French... Whatever. It's the American way of life we're concerned about.

Mr. Wednesday: Sacrifice is the only noble act. As gods, it's our sustenance and currency. I regret nothing.

Mr. Wednesday: Suicide. Suicide: that's the kind of death that Gods can't come back from.

Shadow Moon: Did the Valkyries provide safe passage?
Mr. Wednesday: Honestly?... I have no idea.

--
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The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

nostradamvs:

«А что, нормально. Я прямо с удовольствием посмотрел и даже поржал местами. Мила Кунис не особо играет, а вот Кейт Маккиннон – и вправду прекрасный комик, у неё прямо всё, что она делает, смешно, даже если она печально смотрит в камеру и молчит. По сюжету две средних лет девушки оказываются втянутыми в международную погоню за флешкой с ценной информацией (да, штамп), попадают в кучу забавных ситуаций, но при это кровищи и убийств тоже достаточно, чего стоит только полное истребление всех посетителей ресторана в Вене. И ещё отличная драка Маккиннон с русской гимнасткой на трапеции, прямо вообще.»

Morgan: There's a simple solution. It's called lying.
Audrey: No. I'm a really bad liar.
Morgan: I know, 'cause you ramble. You give too many details. And then people know that you're lying. You have to be concise about it.

Morgan: Anyway... Is it Ukraine or the Ukraine?

Audrey: I don't trust anyone anymore.
Morgan: You trust me though, right?
Audrey: Yes, of course, I trust you. You don't count.
Morgan: Good. 'Cause this is not some fake spy friendship that the Russians put together.

Audrey: Do what? Go to Europe when a bunch of people are trying to kill us?!
Morgan: Do you wanna die having never been to Europe? Or do you wanna go to Europe and die having been to Europe?
Audrey: Why are those my only two options?!

Lukas: How can I make your ride in Vienna excellent today?
Audrey: Everything's fine. Everything's great. Can you just drive?
Lukas: Oh, no. Fine is not good enough for me. I want excellent.

Lukas: I smoked so much meth before... Fear is an illusion!...

Sebastian: Ma'am? Ma'am, can you hear us?
Duffer: Ma'am, did you hear us? Ma'am, are you frozen?
Sebastian: Ma'am, can you hear us?
Duffer: She's frozen. Ma'am, wave if you're not frozen, please.
Wendy: Not frozen. Just disappointed.

Morgan: He literally works in intelligence, and yet, you were the more intelligent. How crazy is that?

---

Roger: So are you a lover of art?
Morgan: Yeah, yeah, oh, lot of art. Love art.
Roger: And look at that art...
Morgan: Doesn't look like she's enjoying herself too much.
Roger: Sometimes the sweetest pleasure comes when you're not enjoying yourself...
Morgan: Don't know that I agree with that.

Audrey: You're injured, so I feel like you kind of need us.
Morgan: I mean, we're naturals. We're operatives. We're semi-professionals at this point. Professional. We are professional.

Morgan: Eddie? Eddie Snowden? It's Morgan from Buck's Rock Camp.

Morgan: You have to understand, we didn't kill anybody. On purpose.
Edward Snowden: Of course. It's called a frame job. They do that.

Sebastian: Is this the couple you saw at the gymnasium?.. Ivan and Raisa Petrenko. Heads of the Highland crime syndicate. Out of Moscow. Oligarchs, arms dealers, blackmailers, and former gymnastic coaches.

Sebastian: Morgan. Are you in position?
Morgan: Yeah, I was born in position.
Audrey: Yes, everyone's born in position. That's why they call it the fetal position.

Sebastian: You put the drive somewhere safe?
Audrey: Very safe.
Sebastian: Is it the same place as last time?
Audrey: You'll see... I don't actually mean, like, you'll see.

Drew: Audrey, do you know about Highland? Sebastian works for Highland.

Morgan: When I say "happy," you say "birthday." Happy... Happy...

--
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The Inherent, Unsullied Qualitative Value of Anything

You're the Worst 3×11

Jimmy: ....reevaluation. It's all up for review. I'm making a pros and cons list of everything in my life to work out whether I still need it or not.
Gretchen: Oh, boy.
Jimmy: It's the perfect post-emotional analytic tool to determine the inherent, unsullied qualitative value of anything. To whit. Stapler. Pros: petite, efficient, comely. Cons: literally no place for you in the digital world. Good-bye, old girl.

Gretchen: Fine, Jimmy. Do your insane, idiotic thing and get this over with. Gretchen pro-con list, go.

Gretchen: Here are two things to start off your pro list... Bam! Carpe those diems.

Gretchen: This is gonna be a waste of your time. The end result is gonna be, "Damn, she's awesome. That list was pointless. Wasted all that paper and ink. Sorry trees. Sorry squids."
Jimmy: Wait, is that how you think we get ink? From squids?

Gretchen: Who cares? We all have negative shit we think about everyone in our lives.
Lindsay: Yeah, but writing it down makes it real. Like Web sites or fortune cookies.

Jimmy: Okay. "I can't see having kids with her." Your turn.
Gretchen: ... I'm afraid you'll never be successful.

--
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Winterfell

Game of Thrones 8×1

Tyrion: You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off...
Varys: You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?
Tyrion: Because I have balls, and you don't.

Sansa: May I ask, how are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen?

Sansa: What do dragons eat, anyway?
Daenerys: Whatever they want.

Tyrion: Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.

Qyburn: Your Grace, I'm afraid I bring terrible news. The dead have broken through the Wall.
Cersei: Good.

Cersei: You want a whore, buy one. You want a queen... earn her.

Qyburn: Our queen's brothers are unlikely to survive their Northern adventures. But in the event that they do... She has a keen sense of poetic justice.
Bronn: That fucking family...

Tyrion: I sense that you're leading to a proposal...
Ser Davos: A proposal is what I'm proposing. On the off chance that we survive the Night King, what if the Seven Kingdoms, for once in their whole shit history, were ruled by a just woman and an honorable man?

Tyrion: Our queen respects the wisdom of age.
Varys: Of course she does. Respect is how the young keep us at a distance, so we don't remind them of an unpleasant truth.
Tyrion: What is that?
Varys: Nothing lasts.

---

Jon Snow: I don't know how to ride a dragon.
Daenerys: Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon.
Jon Snow: What if he doesn't want me to?
Daenerys: Then I've enjoyed your company, Jon Snow...
Jon Snow: What do I hold onto?
Daenerys: Whatever you can.

Jon Snow: You've completely ruined horses for me.

The Hound: You left me to die.
Arya: First I robbed you.

Brandon: It's time to tell Jon the truth.

Sam: You're his brother. Shouldn't you tell him?
Brandon: I'm not his brother.

Sam: I'm not talking about the King in the North. I'm talking about the King of the bloody Seven Kingdoms!

Sam: You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne.

Sam: You're the true king. Aegon Targaryen, Sixth of His Name, Protector of the Realm, all of it.

--
+ quotes on the IMDb
+ Trivia
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I'm Making Up for Lost Time

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend 4×4

Sunil: Please! Sir, pick me. I need all the overtime I can get to help with my student loans.
Mrs. Hernandez: I'm also paying off my student loans.
Sunil: Still?
Mrs. Hernandez: Are you saying I'm old?..
Sunil: You said it; I don't disagree.

Sunil: He got Rebected again. Oh, that's my term for when he gets rejected by Rebecca.

Mrs. Hernandez: I'm getting this case. I always do. As my Krav Maga trainer says, I'm a mitnakesh... That's Hebrew for "killer," bitch.

Rebecca: Okay, so what cool young thing should we all do today? Should we, uh, take a selfie? Make a meme? Get lit? Oh, shall we... Yas, queen?

Tucker: Hey, I just had an idea. How about the Hollywood—
Rebecca: Murder Tour...
Tucker: ...Walk of Fame?
Rebecca: Walk of Fame. We're not on the same page there... but your idea's better; it's good for kids, yeah.

---

Rebecca: Get out of my house. Twins! Jinx! Gasp!

Rebecca: Oh, right. It's the theater. You have female directors.

Rebecca: Don't "thank you" me! You can go "thank you" yourself!

Rebecca: Okay, this seems a little crazy, but no, no, I can justify this to myself, because I love my brother...

Paula: Tell me why I don't know about a major thing in my son's life.
Tommy: Maybe because all you ever ask us is whether our homework is done and whether our underwear is clean.
Paula: Yeah, so?.. Is it?

Rebecca: Hey, come on. Let's do something else. Let's go the beach! Huh? It's only two hours away.

Nathaniel: You have to know... you are the only thing that makes me happy. When I'm not with you, my heart aches. I feel like I've lived in a quiet forest my whole life, and then you showed up, and the world starts to sing. I love you, plain and simple. You've awakened my heart and unlocked my soul.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtracks

Three Days of the Condor (1975)

Joubert: Would you move from the window, please?
Janice: Pardon?
Joubert: Would you move from the window?
Janice: .... I won't scream.
Joubert: I know.

Turner: I'm not a field agent. I just read books!

Wicks: Do you know the Ansonia Hotel?
Turner: Broadway and 71 st.
Wicks: 73rd. There's an alley behind the hotel... I want you to enter that alley from the 73rd Street side.

Kathy: Sometimes... I take a picture that isn't like me, but I took it, so it is like me. I put those pictures away.
Turner: I'd like to see those pictures...
Kathy: We don't know each other that well.
Turner: Do you know anybody that well?
Kathy: I don't think I want to know you very well. I don't think you're going to live much longer.
Turner: Well, I may surprise you...

Turner: You take pictures. Beautiful pictures... of empty streets and trees with no leaves in November. Why haven't you asked me to untie your hands?

Kathy: I have this friend and he asked me to give you a message. Quote: "Mr Higgins, this introduces a friend of mine, 'Sparrow Hawk'. Please accompany her to the Nassau Street exit, now." Personally, I'd do it, because he has this huge gun and he's looking at us right now.

Turner: I'm doing a survey. Do you believe the condor is an endangered species?

Joubert: You have a lot of very fine qualities. But...
Turner: What fine qualities?
Joubert: You have good eyes. Not kind, but they don't lie, and they don't look away much and they don't miss anything. I could use eyes like that.

---

Joubert: I'll do my best.
Turner: Do your best.

Turner: Why?
Joubert: I don't interest myself in "why". I think more often in terms of "when", sometimes "where"; always "how much".

Turner: What would you suggest?
Joubert: Personally, I'd prefer Europe.
Turner: Europe?
Joubert: Yes. The fact is, what I do is not a bad occupation. Someone is always willing to pay.
Turner: I would find it... tiring.
Joubert: Oh, no, it's quite restful. It's almost peaceful. No need to believe in either side, or any side. There is no cause. There's only yourself. The belief is in your own precision.

Turner: I'd like to go back to New York.
Joubert: You have not much future there. It will happen this way. You may be walking. Maybe the first sunny day of the spring. And a car will slow beside you, and a door will open, and someone you know, maybe even trust, will get out of the car. And he will smile, a becoming smile. But he will leave open the door of the car and offer to give you a lift.

Turner: Let's say for the purposes of argument, I had a .45 in my pocket, you'd take a walk with me, right?

Turner: What is it with you people? You think not getting caught lying is the same as telling the truth?
Higgins: No. It's simple economics. Today it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years, food. Plutonium. Maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the people are gonna want us to do then?
Turner: Ask them?
Higgins: Not now, then! Ask 'em when they're running out. Ask 'em when there's no heat in their homes and they're cold. Ask 'em when their engines stop. Ask 'em when people who have never known hunger start going hungry. You wanna know something? They won't want us to ask 'em. They'll just want us to get it for 'em!

--
++ Quotes on the IMDb

The Aide

Grace and Frankie 5×3

Grace: Did she at least accept my advice on how to rebrand my original line?
Mallory: Yeah... sort of. Uh... hmm... She rebranded the price of them.
Grace: What the fuck does that mean?
Mallory: Um... Uh, that she is reaching a whole new market.
Grace: Well, good. Which one?
Mallory: The one for people who... wanna save money?

Mallory: Something bad will happen in about two minutes—
Grace: You're selling off my entire line?!
Brianna: You're a minute-fifty off.

Grace: You get to babysit and I have to be babysat?
Frankie: It's just Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays.
Grace: Three times a week?!
Frankie: Wanna give him Fridays off? I'm good with that.

Grace: I'm sorry. I know how much this means to you, but I can't have somebody that makes me feel old and enfeebled. every minute of every day, three times a week.

Nwabudike: I will find you someone else.
Frankie: No, I will find me somebody else. I need to find the right person for me, and only I know who that is.

Brianna: Okay. My office is mine. My assistant is mine. If you want to criticize me, do it privately. You want to criticize me privately, do it slow enough so that I can think of comebacks. You cannot wear red. It's my power color.
Grace: Are you done?
Brianna: No, not even close... Actually, not true, I'm pretty close. You would be a consultant, serving at the pleasure of the CEO. That's me. I won't call you "Mom." I'll call you "Grace."
Grace: Been begging you to do that since you were four.

Sol: Look, you're going to get old one day. All of you... if you're lucky. And you're gonna put the cream cheese in the silverware drawer. You're going to forget why you walked into a room. And you might even walk out of a store and forget to pay. So, when you start having senior moments, do you want to be shaken down for a chicken? Shame on you for bringing indignity on a woman who never stole anything in her life... Except office supplies. And everyone does that!

--
On the IMDb
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Виктор Пелевин — iPhuck 10 (8/8)

<< Ранее

&  Что есть твое сознание, человек, как не вместилище боли? И отчего самая страшная твоя боль всегда о том, что твоя боль скоро кончится?

&  Конечно, искусственный интеллект сильнее и умнее человека – и всегда будет выигрывать у него и в шахматы, и во все остальное. Точно так же пуля побеждает человеческий кулак. Но продолжаться это будет только до тех пор, пока искусственный разум программируется и направляется самим человеком и не осознает себя как сущность. Есть одно, только одно, в чем этот разум никогда не превзойдет людей.
     В решимости быть.
     Если наделить алгоритмический рассудок способностью к самоизменению и творчеству, сделать его подобным человеку в способности чувствовать радость и горе, если дать ему сознательную свободу выбора, с какой стати он выберет существование?

&  Человек не решает, быть ему или нет. Он просто некоторое время есть, хотя мудрецы вот уже три тысячи лет оспаривают даже это.
     Никто не знает, почему и зачем существует человек – иначе на земле не было бы ни философий, ни религий. А искусственный интеллект будет все про себя знать с самого начала. Захочет ли разумная и свободная шестерня быть? Вот в чем вопрос.

&  Все сводится к гамлетовскому «to be or not to be». Мы оптимисты и исходим из предположения, что древний космический разум выберет «to be», перейдет из какой-нибудь метановой жабы в электромагнитное облако, построит вокруг своего солнца сферу Дайсона и начнет слать мощнейшие радиосигналы, чтобы узнать, как нам айфачится и трансэйджится на другом краю Вселенной.
     Но где они, великие цивилизации, неузнаваемо преобразившие Галактику? Где всесильный космический интеллект, отбросивший свою звериную биологическую основу? И если его не видно ни в один телескоп, то почему?
     Да вот именно поэтому.
     Люди стали разумными в попытке убежать от страдания – но удалось им это не вполне, как читатель хорошо знает сам. Без страдания разум невозможен: не будет причины размышлять и развиваться. Вот только беги или не беги, а страдание догонит все равно и просочится в любую щель.
     Если люди создадут подобный себе разум, способный страдать, тот рано или поздно увидит, что неизменное состояние лучше непредсказуемо меняющегося потока сенсорной информации, окрашенного болью.
     Что же он сделает? Да просто себя выключит. ... Чтобы убедиться в этом, достаточно посмотреть в стерильные глубины космоса.

  ... Жить ой. Но да.”

The Wedding

Fleabag #2.6

Claire: It's going to be a lovely day, isn't it?
Fleabag: I'm afraid so.

The Priest: I don't know, I don't know... Oh, I don't know what this feeling is.
Fleabag: Is it God or is it me?

Godmother: Sorry, but whoever had a miscarriage, could you take it to the kitchen, please?

Martin: I am not a bad guy! I just have a bad personality, it's not my fault.

Martin: I am not going to leave you, until you are down on your knees begging me.

Dad: Look, I-I know she's not... everyone's cup of tea.

Dad: I-I don't think I can.
Fleabag: Come on. Buck up. Smiles, charm, off we go.

Dad: I think you know how to love better than any of us. That's why you find it all so painful.

The Priest: It turns out it's quite hard to come up with something original to say about love. But I've had a go... Love is awful! It's awful. It's painful. It's frightening. Makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself. Distance yourself from the other people in your life. Makes you selfish. Makes you creepy! Makes you obsessed with your hair. Makes you cruel! Makes you say and do things you never thought you would do!
Claire: There's something wrong with your priest.
The Priest: It's all any of us want and it's hell when we get there! So, no wonder it's something we don't want to do on our own.

The Priest: I was taught if we're born with love, then life is about choosing the right place to put it. People talk about that a lot. It "feeling right". "When it feels right it's easy." But I'm not sure that's true. It takes strength to know what's right. And love isn't something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is... when you find somebody that you love... it feels like hope.

--
On the IMDb
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Talking to Me, Talking to Me

You're the Worst 3×10

Jimmy: I'm telling you, Gretchen, now that I have been de-fathered, my world is positively pregnant with possibilities.

Jimmy: Look... Blueprints! Do not touch with your syrup-and-God-knows-what-else-since-you-don't-wash-your-legs hands.

Gretchen: Look at us! You're changing careers to building tree houses. I'm exploring the roots of my mental illness.

Gretchen: My therapist said I have to practice mindfulness, so I am focusing on the flavor of the food, the mouth feel, the swallowing, the reflecting... on my swallowing.

Gretchen: What are you thinking about?
Lindsay: Pie.
Gretchen: You're thinking about what you're eating right now?!
Lindsay: Of course. If I'm eating pie, I'm thinking pie. If I have a fork in my mouth, I'm thinking fork.
Gretchen: You just had an abortion, you're divorcing your husband, and you're literally only thinking about what's happening in this moment?

Gretchen: You might be some kind of secret mindfulness guru... I'm gonna take notes. Just, uh, speak your thoughts out, okay?
Lindsay: Strawtini. Chew, chew, chew, little fart. Waitress is coming over. Here she is. Hi.
Waitress: Can I get you anything else?
Lindsay: Talking to me. Talking to me. My turn to talk. Neck mole, boobs... Bye, waitress. I miss her. Gretchen's still here. Hi, Gretchen. Baby ears... Ooh, a hang nail. Pie again.

Jimmy: I did what you said. I looked at my life from an outside perspective.
Gretchen: Doesn't it feel great?
Jimmy: No, it was terrifying. I didn't recognize any of it... I don't recognize my life. I don't know whether I made any of the right decisions. Everything could be wrong.
Gretchen: Everything?
Jimmy: Everything.

--
On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack

Виктор Пелевин — iPhuck 10 (7/8)

<< Ранее

&  Любой человек инсталлирует скачанные из сети программы на свой девайс с большой осторожностью. А их ведь можно стереть. В крайнем случае можно выбросить девайс и купить новый. Но на главный диск у себя в голове, который не поменять до смерти, человек доверчиво ставит что попало. Немедленно и с песнями выжигает в нейронах на все свое короткое «всегда».
     Нет, я не хочу сказать, конечно, что весь мэйнстримный софт – полное говно. Это не говно. Это, как верно подметил Порфирий, сделанный из говна инструмент власти истеблишмента, закачанный вам под кожу. То есть даже не закачанный, нет. Доверчиво установленный вами же.
     К булькающей в мэйнстриме информации следует подходить только в костюме полной биологической защиты и внимательно смотреть – что, откуда и как. А лучше не подходить вообще, довольствуясь наблюдением за подошедшими – например, в соцсетях. Этого обычно достаточно.

&  Снятая с редким размахом историческая драма, содержащая, как и все, что выплевывает сегодня Голливуд, апдейты и апгрейды по важнейшим вопросам политической истории.

&  Это как магия чистого листа бумаги, где в любой момент можно написать стихотворение безграничной гениальности, но почему-то не решается никто...

&  Ведь чем отличается монархия от так называемой «представительной демократии»? Тем, что в худшем случае монархию на время возглавит один – только один – дурной человек. А в так называемой «представительной демократии» наверху всегда будет кишеть сотня омерзительных червей-сенаторов, у каждого из которых – своя гнусная повестка и штат на все готовых информационных говночерпиев. Как говорили раньше, монарх может оказаться хорошим парнем чисто случайно. Политик – ни за что.

&  Эх, знали бы бесстрашные молодые оторвы, ужасающие своими подвигами сеть, что активизм во все эпохи разный, а вот старость, иконы и коты – одинаковые во все времена...

&  Искусство – это и есть настроение художника, передаваемое другим.

Окончание >>

The Princess Bride (1987)

shakko-kitsune:

“По случаю того, что роман прославленного сценариста и писателя Уильяма Голдмана "Принцесса-невеста" (The Princess Bride) наконец-то, спустя 44 года, был переведён и официально издан на русском языке, приобщился к литературной первооснове одного из нежно любимых мной фэнтези-фильмов - и полюбил эту сказочную вселенную ещё больше.

Кто не видел фильма, то ни в коем случае его не смортеть, прочесть аннотацию ниже, затем список работ писателя. Затем книгу читать без обоих предисловий, после прочтения посмотреть фильм и потом почитать оба предисловия. .....”

The Grandfather: I brought ya a special present.
The Grandson: ... A book?
The Grandfather: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book...

The Grandson: Does it got any sports in it?
The Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles.
The Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad... I'll try and stay awake.

The Grandfather: All right. The Princess Bride... by S. Morgenstern. Chapter one. "Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that." Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

Buttercup: But what if something happens to you?
Westley: Hear this now. I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love. Think this happens every day?

Fezzik: You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.

Inigo Montoya: I do not think you would accept my help since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
Man in Black: That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo Montoya: I hate waiting... I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo Montoya: Is there any way you'll trust me?
Man in Black: Nothing comes to mind.
Inigo Montoya: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya. You will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: ... Throw me the rope.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Man in Black: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.

---

Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks. No weapons. Skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

Man in Black: Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you are doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?
Man in Black: Oh, no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Fezzik: I just figured why you give me so much trouble.
Man in Black: Why is that, do you think?
Fezzik: Well, I haven't fought just one person... for so long. Been specializing in groups, battling gangs for local charities. That kind of thing.
Man in Black: Why should that make such a... difference?
Fezzik: Well, you see, you use different moves when you're fighting... half a dozen... people... than when you only... have to be worried... about one.

Prince Humperdinck: We must all be ready for whatever lies ahead.
Count Rugen: Could this be a trap?
Prince Humperdinck: I always think everything could be a trap, which is why I'm still alive.

Man in Black: Let me explain...
Vizzini: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.

Man in Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato? Aristotle? Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

Vizzini: You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia. But only slightly less well known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

Buttercup: The Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
Man in Black: I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work all the time.

Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Westley: Can you move at all?
Buttercup: Move? You're alive. If you want, I can fly.

Westley: Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well, you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

The Grandson: After all that Westley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
The Grandfather: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.

Prince Humperdinck: I want the Thieves' Forest emptied before I wed!
Yellin: It won't be easy, sire.
Prince Humperdinck: Try ruling the world sometime.

Miracle Max: Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. Now, all dead... Well, with all dead, there's usually only one thing that you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

Inigo Montoya: True love. You heard him. You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Miracle Max: Eh, sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT... mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky. I love that.

Westley: Why am I on this wall? Where's Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour, so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape, after I kill Count Rugen. That doesn't leave much time for dillydallying.

Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Prince Humperdinck: To the death!
Westley: No! To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain. ..... "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next, your nose—
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose...
Westley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right—
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears. I understand. Let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

The Grandfather: "Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind... The end."

--
+++ Quotes on the IMDb !

Sanctuary

The Orville 2×12

Topa: But she's a female... They're inferior. It doesn't matter what they think.

Klyden: You are only one Moclan. What makes the rest of our society wrong and your perverse vision right?

Heveena: "Every revolution begins with a single act of defiance."
Kelly: One of yours?
Heveena: Actually, I don't know who said it.

Heveena: There is a visionary Earth poet who I have recently come to cherish.
Capt. Mercer: Oh, boy.
Admiral Halsey: What?
Heveena: With power and dignity, she boldly cried out so that all the cosmos would know of her suffering...
    ♪ Working 9 to 5 ♪
    ♪ For service and devotion, ♪
    ♪ You would think that I ♪
    ♪ Would deserve a fat promotion, ♪
    ♪ Want to move ahead, ♪
    ♪ But the boss won't seem to let me, ♪
    ♪ I swear sometimes that ♪
    ♪ man is out to get me. ♪

Heveena: Captain... Do you suppose Dolly Parton would be proud of us?

--
+ Quotes on the IMDb
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Виктор Пелевин — iPhuck 10 (6/8)

<< Ранее

&  Даже элементарное выживание требует жертв; настоящий успех требует человеческих жертвоприношений.

&  Первым делом я изучила систему бонусов и скидок, ту самую «мягкую силу», которой производитель мягко направляет свободное самовыражение творца в нужное русло. Художественной цензуры, как известно, не существует – просто некоторые маршруты творческого полета сопровождаются сильным попутным ветром.

&  Вообще говоря, вся наша жизнь по большому счету состоит из багов, и разница между счастливой и несчастливой судьбой лишь в том, как мы на них реагируем.

&  – Я знаю не все, – ответила я, – а лишь то, что пожелаю знать. Как говорит мой друг Шива, всесилие нужно в первую очередь для того, чтобы ограничить всеведение.

&  Ненавижу эти возведенные на выгребных пустотах небоскребы духа. Если бы философы строили свои дворцы из кирпичей, а не из слов, их сажали бы за профнепригодность после первой же кладки, потому что сила тяжести сразу вступала бы с ними в диалог. Но слова – это такие кирпичи, которые будут тысячу лет висеть в воздухе в любом месте, куда их воткнешь, поэтому дурить окружающих можно очень долго...

&  Философские тренажеры не воспитывают ум. Они его искривляют. Когда голову развивают подобным образом, в нее закачивают софт, который немедленно начинает участвовать в каждой вашей «встрече с бытием». И, закачав этот софт, назад вы его уже не откачаете.
     Цепкий юный ум может освоить всех этих хайдеггеров и сартров. Но молодым, свежим и непредсказуемым после этого он не будет уже никогда. ...
     По этой же причине, кстати, все блестящие специалисты по чужому творчеству оказываются так ничтожны в качестве творцов – более удачливые предшественники навсегда хакнули их головы, и оттуда теперь идет только вонь и дым. Дыма не бывает без огня, согласна, но это не делает печную трубу камином.

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Overton Window

Billions 4×4

Bobby Axelrod: Once, when I was a boy, I lost a hundred bucks I didn't have at a carny game.
Chuck Rhoades: Hard to feature that. But, uh, before you really launch in...
Bobby Axelrod: I was very young. I thought the game was to knock down the pins. The game though, was to get people to pay to try to knock down the pins. Which, of course, didn't go down.
Chuck Rhoades: And, uh, the guys playing the game were carny workers. And you were merely the...
Bobby Axelrod: Sucker.

Rhoades, Sr.: The thing to remember, Black Jack, is that the only folks who win in a Mexican standoff are the rest of us... Because all the Mexicans die.

Bobby Axelrod: "Always outnumbered. Always outgunned." As Mosley said it best. That's the state of play for guys like us. That's what we need to get us up with the sun! You can't quit.

Douglas Mason: A latte, the way you like it, and a ginger scone. Animal-free, gluten-free. Of course.

Rebecca Cantu: I've been wanting to do the zero-gravity flight for years. I have the whole aircraft to myself. I paid 165K. I would've paid whatever they asked.
Bobby Axelrod: Thanks. But I'm gonna have to leave the vomit comet to you...
Rebecca Cantu: Wimp.

Bobby Axelrod: Nice ride. How much?
Car dealer: $132,000.
Bobby Axelrod: I'll take two. What color do you want?

Ben Kim: This situation is supposed to be impossible.
Bobby Axelrod: Sure. And a hummingbird shouldn't be able to fly sideways. But it does. The more reliable rule of the world is: The aggressor always moves forward the science first.

AG Jeffcoat: .... I always knew he was a pervert... A profane man to his end.

Bobby Axelrod: First, we're gonna hold the fucking line here and pare our losses. Protect our book. Use resources of our own.
Wagner 'Wags': What are those, exactly?
Bobby Axelrod: At the moment, that's you and me, pal.

Wagner 'Wags': Like Huey Lewis crooned... We're going back in time. Who's ready to do some smilin' and dialin'?!

Bobby Axelrod: I'm sitting on half a mil Bay Pipeline and I want to exit quick and silent as Le Samourai... It's an old French movie... Nevermind.

Ben Kim: I'd like to help. But I've never made a voice trade in my life.
Dollar Bill: Uh. None of us have. We don't know how.

Bobby Axelrod: We're already shoving it down people's throats out there, what do we do now?
Wagner 'Wags': Shove harder.

Rebecca Cantu: My sleeves are rolled up. My chin's tucked. Fists raised. I'm ready to scrap.
Bobby Axelrod: I knew I liked you for a reason.

Rhoades, Sr.: Elysian Fields... The name should invite dreams.

Rhoades, Sr.: What if you defy him anyway? Let him say what he says. Deny it! Tough it the fuck out.

---

Chuck Rhoades: How do I ask Wendy to face that crap?
Rhoades, Sr.: Well, if she's angry about it... let her give you a good smack later. A win for everyone involved.

Bobby Axelrod: Listen, do this for me and you'll have a fucking angel on your shoulder your whole career. I'm a good friend but a bad fucking enemy. ...Solid choice, Kevin.

Wendy: ... And don't forget: part of you wants the humiliation. Needs it.

Wagner 'Wags': I. Need. You. To. Take. It... Take it... Fucking take it! Right fucking now! Or suffer my wrath forever!

Dollar Bill: That's fucking that. Every single institution on or attendant to the Street is gonna be dumping like a dray horse on an all taco diet.

Ari Spyros: We took a 48 million dollar hit today, instead of eating the 512 million dollar exposure we were facing at the open. All hail our lords and saviors, Robert of Axelrod and Michael of Wagner!

Taylor: That's how I am going to continue to think of it, you know? Act of God, as they say.
Sara: What's the Russian word for God?
Taylor: Good question.

Chuck Rhoades: ..... Nope. Not gonna read that one... "A lie," the wise man, Winston Churchill, purportedly said, "gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

Chuck Rhoades: You know what? I'm just going to say it. Uh... I... In my private life... In the confines of my happy marriage... with my consenting wife... practice sadomasochism... Uh, yeah. Bondage, dominance, uh, all the rest. Masks. Binds. Ropes. Fire.

Chuck Rhoades: I am a masochist. In order to achieve sexual gratification, I need to be tied up, punched, pinched, whipped, kicked or otherwise tortured. By my loving wife...

Chuck Rhoades: Here's the bigger truth. All of us need something, right? You know, I don't know what you do in your bedroom, with your loved one, but I do know this: you're probably a little embarrassed about it. You probably don't want the rest of us looking at you while you do it... unless that's your thing and if so, great.

Chuck Rhoades: ...Maybe on the way you tell someone who you really are. Maybe they like it. And maybe you feel just a little more comfortable in your own skin. As I finally do in mine.

Rhoades, Sr.: Here's to all or nothing gambits... the only way to live.

Wendy: At all costs?
Chuck Rhoades: Yes. Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.
Wendy: More Churchill?

Bobby Axelrod: Well. She's gonna beat your ass for it.... That is the first and last of those.
Chuck Rhoades: I doubt that.

Chuck Rhoades: Like the musician says of the piece he plays: it chose me.

Chuck Rhoades: There's only one choice that will preclude that: you firing up your private samolet and flying home... Or wherever else it is you call home.

Grigor Andolov: No?
Chuck Rhoades: No.
Grigor Andolov: Depressing.

Grigor Andolov: Americans pretend to lead, but they are still provincial in so many ways. It is truly sad...

Bobby Axelrod: I can be scared. But I cannot be scared off.
Grigor Andolov: Sure. More, uh, Chuck Wepner than Michael Spinks... But they both lost in the end.
Bobby Axelrod: Because they were underprepared and overmatched. I'm neither.
Grigor Andolov: That is what Mr. Spinks thought right up to 91st second of round one.
Bobby Axelrod: Probably did. But he couldn't do what I can.
Grigor Andolov: And what is that? Move like Jagger?

Grigor Andolov: I rather like the idea of you stalking around, stirring shit up. But here. In America. On the other hand, if you come to Russia or any of her territories, then, Axe all bets are off.

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The Ways of the Dead

American Gods 2×5

Mr. Wednesday: Grow, Yggdrasil. Grow.

Shadow Moon: You know there's a bathroom, right?
Mr. Wednesday: Yeah.
Shadow Moon: You're pissing on a plant.
Mr. Wednesday: On the world tree? Don't be disgusting. How dare you?

Mr. Ibis: Humans are dead longer than they're alive.
Mr. Wednesday: And we want them on bended knee offering up their firstborn and two more kids to be named later.

The Jinn: You know... I was born on Thursday under a scorching desert sun, long before the first wahy. Years later, after the Prophet's revelations, we, Jinn, we were given a choice. Convert to Islam or live our lives as heretic demons. I chose heretic demon...

The Jinn: After all you've seen, you still believe your god is the one true God?
Salim: Yes, of course I do. The first pillar of Islam is, "There is no God but God."
The Jinn: Thomas Jefferson said all men are created equal, but he still owned slaves.

Mr. Wednesday: I'm here to pick up two gentlemen from the city of Sodom.

The Jinn: I'm beholden to him, but he's not my fucking god!

---

Salim: How... how did our motorcycle get here?
Mr. Wednesday: This is not just a motorcycle. This is Hildisvini, Freyja's Battle Boar and sometime lover, eh?

Salim: You are not my God.
The Jinn: He still believes in what he was told. Not what he sees or has experienced. The good little Arab boy, still doing what his parents told him to do.
Salim: What does it matter to you what I believe?

Mr. Wednesday: Here I am. Worship away!
Salim: Your truth, it is not my truth.
The Jinn: No, no. You're entitled to your own truth, Salim, but not your own facts.

Mr. Wednesday: You should come too, Salim. You misguided monotheist. Heh.

Mr. Wednesday: You know, there's still time to join the party train to Valhalla. We shall play where the moon cannot see us...

Shadow Moon: What's missing from someone's soul that they can do that to another? Why would he curse his own people?
Mr. Ibis: Race is no simple equation where one thing equals another. No one hates the children of Israel more than the children of Israel. What you say... also happens to be true for a dozen other ethnicities. But... when you are continually reminded that you have little to no value, it's easy to be convinced that all the rules are stacked against you. Your worst fears are not possible; they are probable.

Mr. Nancy: Well, praise Jesus and four more white zombies.

Shadow Moon: Why are you always trying to piss me off?
Mr. Nancy: Better pissed off than pissed on.

Reverend Hutchins: Leave here. And if you find somewhere... our people aren't catching hell... you let me know where it is. I'll come running.

Mr. Ibis: America is the only country in the world that measures its foot in feet!

Laura Moon: I knew you were his bitch; I didn't realize you were his whore as well.

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The Color of Money (1986)

Vincent Lauria: Nine-ball is rotation pool. The balls are pocketed in numbered order. The only ball that means anything... that wins it, is the 9. The player can shoot eight trick shots in a row... blow the 9, and lose. On the other hand... the player can get the 9 in on the break... if the balls spread right, and win. Which is to say, that luck plays a part in 9-ball. But for some players... luck itself is an art.

Eddie Felson: Look. If you got an area of excellence... you're the best at something, anything... then rich can be arranged. Rich can come fairly easy.

Eddie Felson: Pool excellence is not about excellent pool. It's about becoming something. ... You got to be a student... of human moves.

Eddie Felson: Go on, get back to work... but think about it, okay? Take your time. I'll give you five seconds.

Vincent Lauria: Don't worry. I'm not going to lose often.
Eddie Felson: Yes, you will. That's what I'll teach you. Sometimes if you lose, you win.

Eddie Felson: It ain't about pool, sex, love. It's about money. The best is the guy with the most... in all walks of life.
Carmen: Are you the best liquor salesman?
Eddie Felson: You betcha.

Eddie Felson: You never ease off on somebody like that... Not when there's money involved. That's the problem with mercy, kid. It just ain't professional.

Vincent Lauria: I don't know, Eddie. Maybe you're right. Maybe this game is just for bangers... But the thing is... Even if it is just for bangers, everybody's doing it. If everybody's doing it... there's a lot of guys doing it. A lot of guys doing it... but only one guy can be the best.

---

Eddie Felson: Don't waste my time with bullshit, Carmen. We got a racehorse here... a thoroughbred. You make him feel good, I teach him how to run. We're businesspeople.
Carmen: .... Got you.

Moselle: What you got in there?
Vincent Lauria: In here?.. Doom.

Eddie Felson: You got me talking to myself. Half of me says I got a hold of... the best thing I ever seen. Half of me says it ain't worth it. Either I don't teach you right... or you don't listen... or you listen, but you don't hear.

Eddie Felson: You remind me that... that money won... is twice as sweet as money earned.

Eddie Felson: You got to have two things to win. You got to have brains... and you got to have balls. You've got too much of one... and not enough of the other.

Eddie Felson: Do you smell what I smell?
Carmen: Smoke?
Eddie Felson: Money.

Vincent Lauria: Eddie, what will you do... when I kick your ass?
Eddie Felson: Pick myself up and let you kick me again.

--
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A Perfect Score and a Bunsen Burner Marshmallow

Young Sheldon 2×18

George: My man!...
Sheldon: When was the last time you washed your hands?

Sheldon: At least Dad's on my side...
Missy: Doesn't matter. Mom's gonna win. She always does.

Mary: Oh, baby, it's an hour away. We can't drive you back and forth every day.
Meemaw: I'm the one who's been driving him.
Sheldon: And she loves it.
Meemaw: How can he be so smart and so clueless at the same time?

Mary: Well, the Lord gave Shelly these abilities, and I don't want to be the one holding him back.

Sheldon: What's the point of being intelligent if I can't take advantage of opportunities like this?

Meemaw: A trial run, huh?
Dr. Sturgis: Like the space program. You don't send people up right away; you start by spinning them around in that thing that makes them throw up.

Dr. Sturgis: Here's an idea... Why don't you and Sheldon come live with me? And then you can take care of both of us.

---

Adult Sheldon: ...I got to pack a suitcase, which is like playing Tetris but with underwear.

Mary: I'm just saying, it can be tough sleeping in a new place without your mom.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis will be there. He's like a mom. But he's really smart.

Sheldon: Watching Cosmos while we're eating dinner? Am I awake? Because this feels like a dream.
Dr. Sturgis: Oh, not for me. In my dreams, I'm usually running for my life from a giant praying mantis.
Sheldon: That's the insect where the female eats the male after mating?
Dr. Sturgis: It is.
Sheldon: I think I understand why you're not married.

Dr. Sturgis: If you like being tucked in, I'm prepared to do it. I practiced on a watermelon.
Sheldon: That's okay. I'm a self-tucker.

Sheldon: Wait here. I'm going to go get some ice for your head and I'll fix you a hot beverage.
Dr. Sturgis: Oh. There's a, there's an Earl Grey tea bag in the sink. I think it still has some oomph in it.

--
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A Simple Favor (2018)

Stephanie: It's like my mom used to say, God rest her soul. Um... Secrets are like margarine... easy to spread, bad for the heart.

Stephanie: Does Nicky have any dietary restrictions?
Emily: Yeah, just don't feed him shit he doesn't like.

Emily: Yeah, you gotta go right at them. Especially the powerful ones. Or they will fuck you in the face.

Emily: I need a real martini.
Stephanie: This one's not real?
Emily: Nope... The key, frozen gin. And a frozen glass. Here... Okay. Little bit of vermouth... Swirl it around, dump... Then add in the gin... Cut your twist. Squeeze it, outside out. Get a nice little mist. Lick the edges. Voila... And don't add fucking ice. Ever.
Stephanie: We don't like ice anymore?
Emily: That shit ruins everything.

Emily: You are so nice. I have no idea how you've survived this long.

Emily: I need your help.
Stephanie: Are you okay?
Emily: I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor.

Detective Summerville: I'm guessing you've never dealt with law enforcement before.
Stephanie: Not really, no.
Detective Summerville: Mmm.

Detective Summerville: As long as you're honest with me, Ms. Smothers... I swear to you, you have nothing to worry about. Okay?

Stephanie: Are you trying to Diabolique me?!
Sean: What are you talking about?
Stephanie: Diabolique, you know? The French movie about the guy whose wife and mistress, they're trying to kill him.

Stephanie: It's my fault. I'm the reason they're both dead.
Emily: No. Hey, don't do that. People do terrible things for their own fucked-up reasons. That's on them, it's not on you.

Margaret: Are you a mother?
Stephanie: Yes. I love every minute of it.
Margaret: Aww. Then you must have brain damage. It's a thankless business. And some children are just born rotten. They don't need a parent. They need an exorcist.

Stephanie: Moms, do everything yourself.

Stephanie: Can I say something, as the lady with the gun?

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