Call and Response

Preacher 1×10

& Broadcast: In other news, God is coming to Annville. Or so some local residents seem to be saying. Why don’t you come down to the All Saints’ Church this Sunday, and see for yourself what’s what?

& Tulip: Come on, Mos. You don’t believe all that crap.
    Madam Mose: Well, better safe than sorry.

& Cassidy: Yeah, well, whatever floats your boat.

& Cassidy: Sheriff... you’re gonna have to trust me on this one... You don’t want to know.

& Cassidy: Uh-oh. Manila folder time.

& Cassidy: I’m not an asshole. I’m the asshole.

& Sheriff Root: Come on, vampire. It’s gonna be a long night...

& Sheriff Root: This world... vampires... government agents... psychopathic preachers... it’s all an unmitigated monster swamp.
    Cassidy: That’s true. Plonkers and gobshites. As far as the eye can see.

& Tulip: You know what Hell is to me? Someone screwing us and us not screwing ’em back.

& Tulip: Let’s use some guy’s hand to call down heaven on a phone and let some beardy white guy decide.
    Jesse: We don’t know he’s white.
    Tulip: Well, he’d better be, or else he’ll have even more explaining to do!

---

& Betsy: That’s the video con.
    Jesse: Video con?
    Betsy: Video conferencing. As in, yeah. We aren’t just gonna talk to Him, we’re gonna see Him.

& Tulip: Well... no matter what, we’re getting French fries after.

& Odin Quincannon: Yeah, well, it is a big day. Today, we answer mankind’s most pressing question, namely... what the hell’s going on?

& Odin Quincannon: What I say, my position in all of this is, that Preacher Custer, like every single preacher, priest, and holy man since the dawn of time, is full of shit. The only true God... the only real God... is the God of Meat.

& Jesse: It’s okay. Everyone relax. It’s all right. Nothing to be afraid of.

& God: LOOK UPON ME!

& God: I am the Lord, your God. My children, why have you called me?

& Tulip: ...And you made a baby cry.

& Tulip: I told you he was a white guy.

& God: «I am,» is the only answer you need!

& Jesse: If we are your children, why don’t you act like a father? Take some time out of your busy schedule and answer some goddamn questions!

& God: Balls.

& — You had your turn! What did you do to the dinosaurs?!

& — What’s Heaven like?

& — Can I get my dick back on?!

& Jesse: I have one last question... You’re not God, are you?

& Jesse: Where is He?
    God: I don’t know. None of us do. He’s... He’s missing. God is missing!

& Cassidy: Padre, where we going?
    Jesse: Tulip wants French fries.

& Odin Quincannon: Meat!

& Emily: Nothing has changed. We are still gonna comb our hair and brush our teeth and do our best at school. Daddy’s still in heaven, like he’s always been. The good part of heaven, not that scary part.
    But we just need to stay strong, be true to ourselves, okay? We don’t need God. And I’m gonna let you guys in on a little secret, okay? We never did. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s changed.

& Cassidy: Well, that’s it? That’s the ending?

& Cassidy: Steve Buscemi dies of a heart attack, they scatter his ashes, go back to bowling? I mean, what’s the bloody point?
    Tulip: What, you know you’re the only person in this entire planet who doesn’t like that movie?
    Cassidy: Unh-unh. That’s not true. It’s... it’s... it’s actually, it’s a very controversial film.
    Tulip: Who here likes «The Big Lebowski»?
    — Long live The Dude!
    Cassidy: Eejits.

& Tulip: So, what’s the plan, Jesse?
    Jesse: Well, the plan is simple... Find God.

& Jesse: ...we’re gonna go out and actually find God.
    Cassidy: Oh, like a... like a road trip? With buckets of guns, sex, drugs, and shady characters dressed in bikinis?
    Jesse: Yeah. I imagine there’ll be a bit of that.
    Cassidy: I’m in. Done.
    Tulip: I’m sorry, we’re just gonna, like, drive around, shooting people, getting wasted, and looking for God?
    Cassidy: Oh, I’m so in!

& Tulip: And what are you gonna do when you find him?
    Jesse: Well... God wants our help, we’ll help Him. If He doesn’t... We’re gonna kick His ass.

& Tulip: All right, bitches... let’s go.

--
On the IMDb

+ Soundtrack!