Midnight Bun*
Season 3, Episode 10
& Narrator: Two feuding* brothers... one escaped convict... zero chances to fail.
& Darnell: You promised your sister you'd deliver naturally. You want their little one coming into this world dripping* with lies?
Joy: Darnell, you know my word doesn't mean anything. If it did, you and I wouldn't have been humping when I was still married to Earl.
Darnell: In that case, the shame was part of the rush*. But without illicit* sex, shame is just shame.
& Earl: Paco, I didn't know you knew how to write music.
Paco: Turns out it's easy. It's just dots and lines. When I get out of here, I'm gonna find someone to play it for me. I can't wait to hear what it sounds like.
& Joy: All I need is gravity, a bucket and a Wet-Nap. Let's do this thing.
& Darnell: Look at this place. This must be where pregnant brides come on their honeymoon.
Nurse: And here's some extra services available for a nominal fee.
Joy: "Volcanic mud mask, aromatherapy, eucalyptus wrap." That sounds delicious.
Darnell: Is the feminine face peel just for the ladies... or can the gentlemen purchase that as well?
& Liberty: Well, let's not dillydally*. We gotta get you down to the water birthing tub.
Joy: Water what? Why do you want me to give birth underwater? You didn't secretly impregnate me with some kind of fish baby, did you?
Darnell: Oh, Joy, you're gonna love this. It's based on ancient wisdom and traditions. It goes all the way back to the '70s.
& Liberty: Don't give her the shot!
Joy: My body, my choice! I'm gettin' this thing out of me. Now gimme that shot or gimme a fishin' pole with a jar of baby food on the end of it.
& Darnell: Do you have any literature on the effects of oxytocin on the male gender?
Male Nurse: No. But if you survive and want to write something up, I bet you could get it published.
& Policeman: I'm here about a stolen baby.
Darnell: She's about to give it back.
Ray-Ray: Yeah, so it's kind of a mute* point now.
Darnell: Moot* point. You said "mute" with a "U." The word's moot. M-O-O-T.
Ray-Ray: No, I think it's mute point. Like there's no point talkin' about it anymore, so it's mute.
Darnell: Trust me, it's moot.
Policeman: No, he's right. Mute makes sense.
& Darnell: I didn't know it was possible, but I think my water just broke.
Ray-Ray: Short breaths, Darnell.
Policeman: You need me to call an ambulance?
Ray-Ray: Nah. He's just ridin' out some contractions.
Policeman: What was that?
Ray-Ray: Oh, that's just his wife givin' birth to my baby.
Policeman: Look, brother, I don't know what's goin' on inside that trailer... but I suggest you do like I'm about to do and distance yourself from these people.
& Liberty: I see fingers!
Darnell: Gimme a towel, the coupon scissors and a chip clip.
Joy: You better be fixin' to open a bag of Fritos, MacGyver.
Darnell: I've done this before. I once performed a cesarean on my cat, Miss Kitty.
Liberty: Did the kittens live?
Joy: Screw the kittens. Did mama cat make it?
Darnell: I was nine. I did the best I could.
--Dict:
Bun — булочка; плюшка; белочка
feuding — враждующий
dripping — просачивание; падающая каплями жидкость
rush — спешка; стремление; натиск; напряжение
illicit — незаконный; запрещенный; тайный
dillydally — To waste time, especially in indecision.
mute — немой; безгласный; безмолвный
Moot — спорный
+ on Imdb.
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