House M.D. 5x06

Joy

Season 5, Episode 6

* Cuddy: 37-year-old male with recurrent blackouts.
   House: Tell him to switch from tequila to bourbon. It worked for me.


* House: I'm sure the mom will be thrilled to hand her crack baby off to a doctor.
   Cuddy: She's not a crack baby.
   House: No, mother's perfectly healthy, she just had to give up the baby in order to continue her work on the human genome.
   Cuddy: She confessed to some past meth use.
   House: What they don't confess to is almost always more interesting. This is a mistake.
   Cuddy: Because a kid you don't know may have some problem that you don't know about that she may have passed on to a kid?
   House: Because you're a control-seeking narcissist. Which is fine, good even in some jobs. But you're not equipped to handle a real kid.


* Cuddy: Hey! What are you doing?!
   House: Baby barf. Maternity ward, just handing out free samples.
   Cuddy: Well played, sir. You leave me no choice but to change. My clothes, not my mind.
   House: That's exactly my point. It's not gonna be me and a cup. It's gonna be eight times a day. If you can't handle wearing that stain, you can't handle a baby.
   Cuddy: Why do you even care? It's not like I'm ever gonna ask you to babysit.
   House: I'm a humanitarian.

---

* House: You're getting crankier.
   Cuddy: Baby's sick. Sorry I'm not finding the fun in that.
   House: Is it really worth it? Just for the pursuit of unconditional love?
   Cuddy: Only you could see that as a bad thing.
   House: It's a fake thing. There's no unconditional love. It's just unconditional need.


* House: It's not your baby yet. It's not your call.
   Cuddy: She'll do whatever I tell her to do.
   House: Self-worth issues. That's genetic, you know.


* House: He's blowing blood out of every orifice, you think it just might be vascular?
   Taub: Vasculitis?
   House: If I had said it might be "vitas gerular," would you have said "vitas gerulaitis?"


* Surrogate mother 2 Cuudy: She's... yours now.
   House: Mazel tov. Now it's time to say those magic words you'll be telling her for the rest of her life. Mommy's gotta go to work.



* House: You would've made a great mother.
   Cuddy: You son of a bitch. When I was getting a baby, you told me I'd suck as a mother. Now that I've lost it, you tell me I'd be great as a mother. Why do you need to negate everything?
   House: ... I don't know.


--- Словарик:
barf — блевать
ward — опека; попечительство
handing out — раздавать; давать не задумываясь (советы, указания и т. п.)
crankier — слабый (о здоровье)
orifice — отверстие


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