The Einstein Approximation
Season 3, Episode 14
* Penny: Whatcha doing?
Sheldon: I'm attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image so as to engage the superior colliculus of my brain.
Penny: Interesting. I usually just have coffee.
* Sheldon: I can't see it! It just won't coalesce.
Leonard: Maybe you need a fresh start?
Sheldon: You're right. It's a great idea, Leonard. Thank you.
* Sheldon: Electrons move through graphene... act as if they have no mass...
Howard: How long has he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours. Emotionally about 29 years.
Sheldon: Unit cell contains two carbon atoms... Interior angle of a hexagon is 120 degrees.
Howard: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.
* Sheldon: Structure, constant structure. One atom...
Raj: Boy, he's really gone, isn't he?
Leonard: Yeah, this morning he used a stick of butter as deodorant.
Raj: I thought I smelled popcorn.
Sheldon: Pattern is the same as fermions... Travels on the pathways... Hexagonal... It's always hexagonal...
Leonard: I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.
* Sheldon: I've got the answer.
Leonard: Really? You figured out the graphene problem?
Sheldon: No, no, I'm still hopelessly stuck on that, but I figured out how to figure it out.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: Oh. Einstein.
Leonard: Yeah, I'm going to need a little more.
Sheldon: Albert Einstein.
Leonard: Keep going.
Sheldon: When Albert Einstein came up with special relativity, he was working at the patent office.
Leonard: So, you're going to go work at the patent office?
Sheldon: Don't be absurd. That's in Washington. You know I could never live in a city whose streets are laid out in a wheel-and-spoke pattern. No. I'm going to find a similarly menial job where my basal ganglia are occupied with a routine task, freeing my prefrontal cortex to work quietly in the background on my problem.
Leonard: Sounds like a great plan.
Sheldon: Of course it is. Even talking to you is sufficiently menial that I can feel the proverbial juices starting to flow.
* Penny: Wh-What are you doing here?
Sheldon: A reasonable question. I asked myself, what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable, and three answers came to mind: uh, toll booth attendant, Apple Store genius... and what Penny does. Now... since I don't like touching other people's coins, and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word "genius," here I am.
Penny: You just, you just walked in and they hired you, just like that?
Sheldon: Oh, heavens, no. Since I don't need to be paid, I didn't need to be hired. I simply came in, picked up a tray, and started "working for the man."
* Sheldon: Hello, I'm Sheldon. I'll be your server today. I don't recommend the salmon. I saw it in the kitchen.
* Sheldon: All right, one bacon cheeseburger, breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously... kudos. Beer-battered fish and chips. Now, here's your tartar sauce. I also brought you salsa. It's a little unconventional, but I think you'll like it. It's zingy. And for you, Factory Burrito Grande - no cheese, no sour cream, no ugly consequences from your lactose intolerance. Bon appétit.
Leonard: Hang on. Black beans, not pinto beans?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Double guacamole?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: No cilantro?
Sheldon: Nope.
Leonard: Lettuce shredded, not chopped?
Sheldon: Yep.
Leonard: You understand why I'm doing this to you?
Sheldon: I do.
--- Словарик:
coalesce — объединяться (в группы и т. п.)
menial — низкий, лакейский;
basal — лежащий в основе, основной; главный
ganglia — нервный узел, (нервный) ганглий
proverbial — провербиальный, вошедший в поговорку; общеизвестный
numbing — онемелый, оцепенелый; окоченевший
pedestrian — пешеход
conceivable — постижимый, понятный; мыслимый, возможный
booth — будка; кабина
kudo — награда; приз, премия
kudos — почёт, слава, престиж
zingy — волнующий, захватывающий; изумительный, потрясающий
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