House M.D. 5x02

Not Cancer

Season 5, Episode 2

* House: What did you find out?
   Detective: You're supposed to trust friends.
   House: I don't know the guy. I got no logical reason...
Detective: To be his friend? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.


* Detective: There are two types of people that hire me. No, actually, there are three types of people that hire me. But the third type's irrelevant to the point I want to make.
   House: Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?
   Detective: One type wants to find out that they're right. One type wants to find out that they're wrong.
   House: Which type am I?
   Detective: You're the third type.
   House: You lead with the irrelevant types?
   Detective: You're the type that doesn't care if you're right or wrong. Because they've hired me to investigate the wrong person.


* House: What did Wilson say about me?
   Detective: Oh, you've never come up.
   House: In the grief counseling or in the other...
   Detective: Anywhere, I got three bugs in his home and one in his car. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't even know you existed. Which is good news. Only two things you ignore... Things that aren't important. And things you wish weren't important. And wishing never works.

---

* House: I need you to sign something. Consent to chemotherapy.
   Patient: You found cancer?
   House: No. {...}
   Patient: Then why should I sign it?
   House: That's a good question. It deserves a complicated answer. Placebo effect. People have confidence in doctors, they have confidence in
diagnoses, confidence in medicine. Sometimes they get a little better just because they think they will.


* House: How many friends do you have?
   Detective: 17.
   House: Seriously? You have a list?
   Detective: No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer, so you could get back to your train of thought.
   House: Well done.
   Detective: You know, friends are important. You're gonna miss...
   House: Shut up. Friends allow you to not sit in a room by yourself. Are you charging me for this?
   Detective: Are we friends?
   House: No.
   Detective: Then yes.
   House: Do you wanna be my friend?
   Detective: No. You scare me a little.


* Detective: It's like that your "cancer, but not cancer" thing you were talking about before. Friends are friends, customers are customers, and everything else is everything else.
   House: If it's not, nothing's nothing. And anything can be anything.




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