Dunder Mifflin Infinity

The Office 4×2

Michael Scott: Okay, stand up. Okay, here we go. Everyone, this is a day that will live in infamy, because today is the day that Jim and Pam become one.

Ryan Howard: Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor-to-ceiling streamlining of our business model. The centerpiece of the campaign is a new business-to-business website interface that will allow us to compete directly with big-box chains.

Ryan Howard: This is a massive overhaul. We're getting younger, sleeker and more agile with the way that we adapt to the marketplace. All essential personnel will be issued BlackBerries for company use.

Creed Bratton: We're screwed.
Michael Scott: Who is?
Creed Bratton: Us. You and me. The old-timers.
Michael Scott: I am not old. You are old. You are, like, 100.
Creed Bratton: You're over 40. That's the cut-off. Are you listening to what he's saying? "Retraining," "new system," "youth." I'm telling you this kid is the Grim Reaper. You deal with this or you, me, Sammy, Phyllis, the chick you hit with the car, we're goners.

Michael Scott: I was just... After the presentation I just wanted to make sure that vis-à-vis me in the office, everything is business as usual?
Ryan Howard: Well, it is business, but not as usual.
Michael Scott: Yeah, no, I understand. We're making great strides, we're updating, but business as usual, no?
Ryan Howard: No. We're throwing out the entire playbook, we're starting from scratch, we're implementing a brand new system.
Michael Scott: Good. So we're on the same page.

Ryan Howard: Michael, I know exactly how much time and manpower are wasted in this branch. This company is getting younger, faster and more efficient. You need to prepare yourself.

Michael Scott: Well, there has been a lot of talk about new ideas today. Well, new ideas are fine, but they are also illegal because they are a form of ageism.
Ryan Howard: What?
Michael Scott: Yes. I am right. Did you know that, "The age discrimination in employment act of 1967 prohibits employment discrimination based on age with respect to employees 40 years of age or older"?
Toby Flenderson: Mmm. Technically, he's right.
Michael Scott: Hey, shut up, Toby.

Michael Scott: What have we learned? Well, we have learned that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, because it's illegal. And you will go to jail.

Michael Scott: Ever since I was a kid, people have been telling me that I can't do things. "You can't be on the team." "You can't move on to second grade." Well, now they're telling me that I can't win back clients using old-fashioned business methods. We'll see about that. And FYI, I eventually aced second grade, and I was the biggest kid in class.

Michael Scott: Business to business, the old-fashioned way, no BlackBerries, no websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.

Michael Scott: I don't get it. I really don't get it. I thought this would work. I threw everything I had at that guy and nothing.
Dwight Schrute: That's how it goes sometimes, you know? You lose everything and everything falls apart and eventually you die and no one remembers you.
Michael Scott: That is a very good point, Dwight.

Michael Scott: Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.

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