Goodbye, Toby

The Office 4×14

Pam Beesly: You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans funeral?
Michael Scott: If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?

Michael Scott: Toby thinks she'll be great. Now, strike one. I hate her already.
Dwight Schrute: I hate her, too.
Michael Scott: Why do you hate her?
Dwight Schrute: Because she stinks with her ways and her head.
Michael Scott: You know, Dwight, sometimes, I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight Schrute: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael Scott: Yeah, it would. Just have a thought. Have an original thought... Although, I will agree that her head is weird.

Michael Scott: Here's how things work here. My job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame, and we have an eternal struggle, you and I, and only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert, I'm going to win.

Jim Halpert: What did you do?
Michael Scott: I talked to her. Holly. Just pleasantries, nothing, you know, not like, "Do you want kids?" or religion, or "What side of the bed do you want?" Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point!

Michael Scott: Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

Michael Scott: I just have some questions that I was going to ask. Um... Who do you think you are?
Toby Flenderson: I'm Toby.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Correct. Um... What gives... What... What gives you the right?

Michael Scott: My whole life I have known two things. I love sex, and I want to have kids. And I always thought that those two things would go hand in hand, but now I think it might be one or the other.

Andy Bernard: I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years, because you don't know when you're going to meet the right girl and the moment's going to be right. And tonight, with the fireworks and the music and everything, it was right.

Michael Scott: I am going to be kind of a daddy.

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