The Deposition

The Office 4×8

Michael Scott: I am on my way to New York to be deposed as part of Jan's wrongful termination lawsuit. The company fired her for having the courage to augment her boobs.
Jan Levenson: And they displayed a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior.
Michael Scott: Yes. Yes. Pattern. "Pat-turn." My friend Pat took a turn. That's how I remember that.

Kelly Kapoor: I don't talk trash. I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, "Your mama's so fat, she could eat the Internet." But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, "You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there."

Ryan Howard: We just want to be sure that you won't do anything to hurt us with your testimony. Do you understand?
Michael Scott: Abso-fruitly. Yeah.

Schneider: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael Scott: She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them.
Schneider: Could you be more specific. Who are the twins?
Michael Scott: To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They make milk. Schneider: You don't need to go any further.

Michael Scott: Why did I do it? .... You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

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