Dear Offred

The Handmaid's Tale 5×4

Serena Joy Waterford: I'm not an American citizen. My allegiance is to God.
Mark Tuello: Then, Mrs. Waterford, you are officially released from the custody of the American government.

Mark Tuello: Good luck. With your... future endeavors.
Serena Joy Waterford: I don't need luck. I have God on my side.
Mark Tuello: Hmm. Then, may He guide your steps. Please, though, step carefully. You aren't in Gilead. This is a free country, Mrs. Waterford.

June Osborn: I warned you about her. You won't listen... God, you're such a fucking disappointment.

Lucas Bankole: June, don't worry. All right? We're gonna stop this.
June Osborn: I'm not worried...

Serena Joy Waterford: Gilead is the only country on the planet that has had an increase in live births, and I believe that I am uniquely positioned to remind the local ambassadors of that fact. Perhaps with an afternoon tea...
Commander Lawrence: Venezuela has expressed interest in some of our more successful female education programs. An informal conversation might be useful... Over tea.
Serena Joy Waterford: Yes. A lovely idea.

June Osborn: It's gonna happen here.
Lucas Bankole: No, it is not.
June Osborn: She is gonna bring it here. I swear to fucking God, she is gonna bring it here. The only way to stop her, and to stop them is to put them all in the fucking ground!

Serena Joy Waterford: ... And we can send a lovely gift basket to Germany...

Lucas Bankole: I also came here to tell you that my wife... is gonna kill you. And I'm gonna let her.

Aunt Lydia: Commander Lawrence, I have come to believe that the Handmaid system must be reformed... A new protocol.

Commander Lawrence: I'm all ears.
Aunt Lydia: Handmaids... would remain under my care. Commanders and Wives would visit each month, when it's time to perform the Ceremony.

Commander Lawrence: What are you smoking? No Commander's gonna buy into that. They're not interested in some quick... in and out to make a baby. They want those girls in their homes. Accessible. Any time. So they can... sniff the air after they walk by, or do whatever the hell they want. Get their rocks off... These are pious men. They need a little kink. You know that.
Aunt Lydia: Do I?
Commander Lawrence: Don't you?

Ezra Shaw: Ma'am, we found a secure location.
Serena Joy Waterford: Where is it?
Ezra Shaw: For those who are truly righteous, He sometimes sends a refuge.

Aunt Lydia: I want to do things differently. I want to address any problem... early. With more... compassion. We can shepherd these girls together. And keep them on God's path.

Aunt Lydia: God may test us, body and soul. But He always... rewards the most righteous.

June Osborn: I didn't do it this time. But I am not going to promise that I won't do it next time.
Lucas Bankole: I can't promise I won't either.

--
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A Storm for Christmas #1.2

Sara: Well, I can see that you're completely prepared for... Málaga.
David - The Traveller: Yeah, yeah, I like to come prepared. I step off the plane, I'm ready to go... I've changed clothes beforehand so I am fully acclimatized. That way, I can... just seize the day ahead. Sara: Sounds like a good plan.
David - The Traveller: Yeah. I always like to think a step ahead. Because sometimes, there can be some unpleasant surprises.
Sara: Yeah, like suddenly, your plane can be delayed or canceled. But you can't do anything about that. Nothing.
David - The Traveller: Right. Can't just sit around and waste your life thinking about the things you can do nothing about.
Sara: You've thought of it all.
David - The Traveller: Except for things I can do nothing about.

Ida - The Popstar: A Christmas song? That's the dumbest idea.

Diana - The Romantic: Isn't it so beautiful here? I mean, if you really look around you. All the sounds, the smells... When you use all your senses, airports can be exciting places, full of new worlds.
Olav - The Pilot: Pardon?

Diana - The Romantic: I just love Christmas.
Olav - The Pilot: Good for you, then.
Diana - The Romantic: Oh, and you don't?
Olav - The Pilot: For me, Christmas is about squeezing as many packages as possible underneath a big, glittery Christmas tree. So no, I don't love Christmas.

Alex - The Santa: And what do you want for Christmas?
Girl on Santas Lap: A Chanel bag and an iPhone.
Alex - The Santa: How old are you?
Girl on Santas Lap: Six.
Alex - The Santa: You know a Chanel bag costs 20,000 kroner. Don't you?
Girl on Santas Lap: Yep.
Alex - The Santa: What if Santa says no to that?
Girl on Santas Lap: Santa can't say no.
Alex - The Santa: Santa can't always give a child want they want. 'Cause the child will grow up, become an adult, and realize that a Chanel bag costs a month's wage for most people. Which is the result of just a few people having far too much money and others having too little.
Girl on Santas Lap: You're not the real Santa.
Alex - The Santa: Merry fucking Christmas.

—
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Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Star Trek: Generations (1994) <<

Picard: I'm about to commit a direct violation of our orders. Any of you who wish to object should do so now. It will be noted in my log.....
Data: Captain, I believe I speak for everyone here, sir, when I say to hell with our orders.

Troi: Will, I think we have to tell him the truth.
Riker: If we tell the truth, the timeline...
Troi: Timeline? This is no time to argue about time. We don't have the time. What was I saying?

Troi: If you're looking for my professional opinion as ship's counselor, he's nuts.

Data: Captain, I believe I am feeling anxiety. It is an intriguing sensation. A most distracting...
Picard: Data, I'm sure it's a fascinating experience, but perhaps you should deactivate your emotion chip for now.
Data: Good idea, sir... Done.
Picard: Data, there are times that I envy you.

Data: Your efforts to break the encryption codes will not be successful. Nor will your attempts to assimilate me into your collective.
Borg Queen: Brave words. I've heard them before, from thousands of species across thousands of worlds since long before you were created. But now, they are all Borg.

Data: I am unlike any life-form you have encountered before. The codes stored in my neural net cannot be forcibly removed.
Borg Queen: You are an imperfect being created by an imperfect being. Finding your weakness is only a matter of time.

Zefram Cochrane: Why not?

Picard: Jean-Luc Picard... My name. That's my name. What's yours?

Zefram Cochrane: Statue?
Geordi: Oh, yeah! It's marble, about 20 meters tall, and you're looking up at the sky, and your hand's sort of reaching toward the future.
Zefram Cochrane: I gotta take a leak.
Geordi: Leak? I'm not detecting any leak.
Zefram Cochrane: Don't you people from the 24th century ever pee?
Geordi: Leak! I get it.

Lily: Watch your caboose, Dix.
Picard: I intend to.

Data: Believing oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind.
Borg Queen: Small words from a small being trying to attack what he doesn't understand.

Borg Queen: Go ahead, Data. We won't stop you. Do it. Don't be tempted by flesh.

Borg Queen: Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure?
Data: If you are referring to sexuality, I am fully functional, programmed in multiple techniques.
Borg Queen: How long has it been since you've used them?
Data: Eight years, seven months, 16 days, four minutes, 22...
Borg Queen: Far too long.

Zefram Cochrane: Please! Don't tell me it's all thanks to me. I've heard enough about the great Zefram Cochrane. I don't know who writes your history books or where you get your information from, but you people got some pretty funny ideas about me. You all look at me as if I'm some kind of saint or visionary or something.
Riker: I don't think you're a saint, Doc, but you did have a vision. And now we're sitting in it.
Zefram Cochrane: You wanna know what my vision is? Dollar signs. Money. I didn't build this ship to usher in a new era for humanity. You think I want to go to the stars? I don't even like to fly! I take trains! I built this ship so that I could retire to some tropical island filled with naked women. That's Zefram Cochrane! That's his vision!

Riker: Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgments."
Zefram Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense. Who said that?
Riker: You did, 10 years from now.

Data: Resistance is futile.

Data: She brought me closer to humanity than I ever thought possible, and for a time, I was tempted by her offer.
Picard: How long a time?
Data: Zero-point-six-eight seconds, sir. For an android, that is nearly an eternity.

Picard: Mr. Data, lay in a course for the 24th century. I suspect our future is there waiting for us.
Data: Course laid in, sir.
Picard: Make it so.

—
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>> Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)

Goodbye, Toby

The Office 4×14

Pam Beesly: You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans funeral?
Michael Scott: If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?

Michael Scott: Toby thinks she'll be great. Now, strike one. I hate her already.
Dwight Schrute: I hate her, too.
Michael Scott: Why do you hate her?
Dwight Schrute: Because she stinks with her ways and her head.
Michael Scott: You know, Dwight, sometimes, I don't know, I think you say things just to agree with me.
Dwight Schrute: Would that be such a bad thing?
Michael Scott: Yeah, it would. Just have a thought. Have an original thought... Although, I will agree that her head is weird.

Michael Scott: Here's how things work here. My job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame, and we have an eternal struggle, you and I, and only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert, I'm going to win.

Jim Halpert: What did you do?
Michael Scott: I talked to her. Holly. Just pleasantries, nothing, you know, not like, "Do you want kids?" or religion, or "What side of the bed do you want?" Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point!

Michael Scott: Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

Michael Scott: I just have some questions that I was going to ask. Um... Who do you think you are?
Toby Flenderson: I'm Toby.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Correct. Um... What gives... What... What gives you the right?

Michael Scott: My whole life I have known two things. I love sex, and I want to have kids. And I always thought that those two things would go hand in hand, but now I think it might be one or the other.

Andy Bernard: I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years, because you don't know when you're going to meet the right girl and the moment's going to be right. And tonight, with the fireworks and the music and everything, it was right.

Michael Scott: I am going to be kind of a daddy.

—
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Saving Grace

Bad Sisters 1×10

Grace Williams: He's dead. He's dead!

Grace Williams: What are you doing?
Bibi Garvey: We were just seeing if we could all fit in your massive wardrobe.

Bibi Garvey: Okay, if anyone in this room did it, we need to say.

Grace Williams: What are you fighting about?
Eva Garvey: Nothing. Just politics.

Eva Garvey: We may not have killed him…
Bibi Garvey: Jesus, we tried...

Bibi Garvey: You're only as happy as your unhappiest child.

—
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Going Rogue

Bad Sisters 1×9

Eva Garvey: Now she's got to carry that burden of guilt.
Bibi Garvey: You weren't concerned about me when I was going to shoot him.
Ursula Flynn: Or me.
Eva Garvey: Well, she's younger than… She's practically a kid.
Bibi Garvey: She's 29. What's the cutoff age for killing a man?

Becka Garvey: We always knew one of us would get the final bullet.

Bibi Garvey: He's unkillable. He's like a cockroach.

John Paul Williams: Grace will be upset by this, so I hope we can keep it civil for her sake. Because, Eva, I'm not going anywhere.

John Paul Williams: I remembered something else this morning. I remembered the Garvey girls are like rats. Where there's one, there's more, which is why you need to poison the nest.

Becka Garvey: I could do it. I've got blood on my hands anyway. Might as well be hung for a sheep.

John Paul Williams: Um, people like you, Roger, don't get to forgive people like me. Forgiveness flows down. Remember that.

—
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Job Fair

The Office 4×13

Michael Scott: Hey. Ready? Come on. Show me excited... Yes. Yeah, I'm pretty excited, too.

Jim Halpert: I'm about to do something very bold at this job, that I've never done before. Try.

Pam Beesly: So many memories in this old gym... Pretending to have PMS, so I didn't have to play volleyball... Pretending to have PMS, so I didn't have to play basketball... Those were the days.

Oscar Martinez: Show them what you brought, Mike.
Michael Scott: That's all we brought. This is all we need.
Oscar Martinez: We'll see.
Michael Scott: Yes, we will see, Oscar. We will see, because a blank sheet of paper equals endless possibilities. Conceptual.

Michael Scott: Listen, I don't think that a handsome, funny, smart, funny-looking kid like you should limit himself. You could do whatever you want to do. You could be a classy janitor or a cashier with dignity or a migraine worker. Maybe, for you, paper should be more of a hobby.

Michael Scott: I just want to say, come to Dunder Mifflin. Dunder Mifflin, a great place to work... Anybody? Show of hands, anybody want to intern at Dunder Mifflin? We do not offer college credit, we cannot give you any sort of pay, but it is a really fun work environment. Anybody?

Michael Scott: Today, I did something stupid. I questioned myself, and I will never do that again. Because I look at somebody like Jim Halpert, and I think that guy could do anything he wants to do. He could do anything, and he chooses to work here selling paper. Just like me.

Michael Scott: Yeah. Kiss her. Kiss her good.

—
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Last Seen Alive (2022)

Sergeant Anderson: Hey, Roy, you mind taking line three? Said he lost his wife at the Veldro station.
Detective Roy Paterson: Lost his wife?
Sergeant Anderson: Yeah, that's what he said.

Will Spann: Uh, one minute she was here, the next minute she was gone.

Will Spann: Why would I bring you the evidence?
Detective Roy Paterson: You might be clever than most people.

Barry Adams: I mean they... you can't let them disappear like that. There's a suspect on the run.
Detective Roy Paterson: No, there is not.
Barry Adams: No, no, you... Well, how do you mean?
Detective Roy Paterson: Well, suspect of what? In all logic, Lisa should be here now. She is not. That is all we know at this junction.

—
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The Highwaymen (2019)

Journalist: Some folks are saying that Parker and Barrow are heroes, calling them Robin Hoods. Are they Robin Hoods, Ma?
Ma Ferguson: Did Robin Hood ever shoot a gas station attendant point blank in the head for four dollars and a tank of gas? We will capture Clyde Barrow and his paramore. Write that down and underline it twice.

Frank Hamer: She gonna bring back the Rangers?
Lee Simmons: No, never.
Frank Hamer: What capacity then?
Lee Simmons: Special highway assignment.
Frank Hamer: Special highway assignment... Highwaymen?

Frank Hamer: Lady Governor's offering me 130 dollars a month, Glady.
Gladys Hamer: To do what?
Frank Hamer: Hunt down Bonnie and Clyde.

Frank Hamer: Something you want to say?
Gladys Hamer: I'm gonna repaint the kitchen.
Frank Hamer: That's what's on your mind, huh?
Gladys Hamer: Mm-hm. Yellow, I think.

Gault Maney: You came all the way up to the house. What changed your mind?
Frank Hamer: I don't know, maybe seeing you move like you're 85.
Gault Maney: Well, that's honest. Maybe a little too honest.

Gault Maney: Dammit, Pancho, I'm above ground and ready to go. Unless you... think I'm useless.
Frank Hamer: You in good spirits?
Gault Maney: Pretty polite way of asking if I'm drinking.
Frank Hamer: Well, are you?
Gault Maney: I'm not. Not... holding. I could help with the driving.
Frank Hamer: No.
Gault Maney: Or not.

Gault Maney: I never shot a girl before, Pancho.
Frank Hamer: If we can take Clyde long range she'll... she'll surrender.
Gault Maney: We’re gonna shoot a man without fair warning?
Frank Hamer: Well, Lord knows he does.
Gault Maney: Yeah, well, Lord knows that’s what separates us from him.

Frank Hamer: Outlaws and mustangs they always come home.

Frank Hamer: How'd she fall in with an outlaw like Barrow?
Ted Hinton: Bored to tears. Along come Clyde in a fine car. By the time she found out the car was stolen, she was already in love.
Gault Maney: Ain't that romantic. I met my wife she was milking a prize Devon at the Oklahoma State Fair. I can't imagine anybody writing a ballad about that encounter.

Gault Maney: Red River... State line... Oklahoma... Just thought I’d point that out.
Frank Hamer: Thank you.
Gault Maney: It's open range now.

Mr. Barrow: He wasn't born that way. He wasn’t born with no dark soul. My little Huck Finn. That’s what me and Cumie called him. He loved bicycles. What he really wanted to be was a musician. I mean, sure, he liked to dress fine and get the girls and all like that but... You know, he wasn't a bad boy. I had high hopes...
Frank Hamer: People don't always know who they are... until it's too late.

Gault Maney: Clyde might be king, but I'm a Texas Ranger, you little shit.

Frank Hamer: What took you so long?
Gault Maney: There’s a fella in the toilet...

Ivy Methvin: Why should I trust you?
Frank Hamer: Because I said.
Ivy Methvin: ???
Gault Maney: That's just how he's built.

Gault Maney: Manos arribas.

—
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Did I Stutter?

The Office 4×12

Michael Scott: Everybody, everybody, listen up. I need your ideas now... Ideas, please, right now. Go, go! Come on!
Pam Beesly: Michael, we don't know what you're talking about.
Michael Scott: Wet cement outside. It's drying fast.

Michael Scott: Come on, this is a lifelong dream. What do I write? What do I write?

Dwight Schrute: Andy and Angela seem very happy. I hope nothing horrible ever happens to them.

Michael Scott: Oh, my God. Pam, those make you look so ugly. Pam, in order to get hotter, you take glasses off. You're moving in the wrong direction.
Pam Beesly: I don't have my contacts...
Michael Scott: I can't even hear you. It's just noise coming out of an ugly scientist.

Michael Scott: It was joking, Toby, all right?
Toby Flenderson: He didn't seem like he was joking.
Michael Scott: Well, you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man, and you're... you.

Michael Scott: If you had any friends, you would understand. Friends joke with one another. "Hey, you're poor." "Well, hey, your mama's dead." That's what friends do. It's... You're so white.

Dwight Schrute: Well, here are your options. You can sell it for parts, drive it off a cliff, you can donate it to a person that you'd like to see die in a car crash, or you can sell it to me and I'll use it as I would a wagon on my farm. It will be towed by a donkey.
Andy Bernard: I have to pick one of those?
Dwight Schrute: Yes.
Andy Bernard: Can you go over those options again?

Stanley Hudson: I am not going to apologize to you. It's like I used to tell my wife. "I do not apologize unless I think I'm wrong, and if you don't like it, you can leave." And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I'll say it to my next one, too.

Michael Scott: Is there anybody up here, anybody at all, that can deal with this other than me... You!
Dwight Schrute: Well, there is the emergency disaster mode for the org chart... This gives me full authority over every single person in the office.
Michael Scott: I never said you could do that.
Dwight Schrute: All you have to do is say it.

Dwight Schrute: Don't think, say it. Do it. Five, four, three, two... Do it. Give me control, Michael. I promise to give authority back to you when this crisis is over. Do it, Michael. Do it. Hey. This office needs a strongman. Say it!

Michael Scott: I would have never thought that gangs would be tickling each other.
Darryl Philbin: Well, it's effective.

Michael Scott: Do you have anything to say to me?
Stanley Hudson: Ooh, yes, I do. You are out of your damn little pea-sized mind. What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense at all? Do you have any idea how to run an office? Every day you do something stupider than you did the day before. And I think, "There's no possible way he can top that." But what do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it. You are a professional idiot...
Michael Scott: Hey, stop it! Okay, everybody out.

Kevin Malone: It's Michael versus Stanley, and it is the clash of the titans. In one corner, you have Michael, and he is mad. And then in the other corner, you have Stanley, and he's mad. So that's about it.

Michael Scott: Well, Stanley, maybe you are feeling that you don't respect me because you don't know me very well.
Stanley Hudson: Michael, I've known you a very long time, and the more I've gotten to know you, the less I've come to respect you. Any other theories?

Michael Scott: I am a good person, and sometimes good people don't get no respect.

Michael Scott: Feedback, anybody? Stanley?
Stanley Hudson: Has potential to be your best idea yet.
Phyllis Lapin: That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.
Michael Scott: Damn it, Phyllis! All right, everybody out except Phyllis.

—
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The Cold Truth

Bad Sisters 1×8

Eva Garvey: No. John Paul is not a killer.
Ursula Flynn: Uh, there's a time I would have said the same about us.

Bibi Garvey: It's not a clean kill, Becka.
Becka Garvey: You with the cabin fire? Her with the poisoned liver? I mean, when has it ever been a clean kill? The paintballing? The marina?

Eva Garvey: So, what would happen?
Ursula Flynn: His, uh, body temperature would fall very quickly. He'd have a burning sensation like pins and needles all over his body. His heart rate, respiratory rate, uh, blood pressure would drop. His body would slow the supply of oxygen to his brain. He'd feel drowsy, and he'd slip into unconsciousness. Then his heart would just…

Matthew Claffin: Shall I hit the road, or?
Becka Garvey: Uh… I don't mind.
Matthew Claffin: What, you... you want me to go?
Becka Garvey: No, I'm not saying I want you to go. I'm just saying I don't mind if you do.
Matthew Claffin: Oh.

Matthew Claffin: So, what? We had a man's body dug up for no reason?
Thomas Claffin: No, not no reason, Matt. They killed him. Just in a way that didn't leave a mark.

Thomas Claffin: They did it, Matt. I know it. You know it. It's just, we're never gonna know how.

Grace Williams: Why would he do that? ... Did something set him off?
John Paul Williams: You know what the French are like. Furious about everything. Turning lorries upside down, setting fire to fish.

Becka Garvey: It's done, Eva.
Eva Garvey: What's done?
Becka Garvey: The prick is dead.

—
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Night Out

The Office 4×11

Pam Beesly: What's wrong, Michael?
Michael Scott: I got gum in my hair.
Jim Halpert: You do.

Michael Scott: Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty. Like a piece of fine art by... any number of renowned artists. Or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude. That, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are... Not that they aren't nice or have great personalities, they just, they just lack a certain Crawfordness.

Stanley Hudson: Perfect. You guys worked together on this one. If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you're both dead.

Michael Scott: I thought about getting a tattoo on my back, as well, at one point. I was thinking about getting Back to the Future. "Back" because it's on my back, and "Future" because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future. I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? And it's my second-favorite movie.
Young Club Girl: I've never heard of that movie.

Michael Scott: Like I said, it's not about the horniness. It's about the loneliness. And how can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, Boys on the Side. But I don't... I disagree. I say, Let's Hear It for the Boys.

—
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Rest in Peace

Bad Sisters 1×7

Grace Williams: He thinks someone's trying to kill him.
Eva Garvey: Oh.

Bibi Garvey: Well, we need to finish the job.
Ursula Flynn: And quick.

Becka Garvey: And it's not a mustache, by the way. It's a little peach fuzz! And it's charming!

—
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Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

Knives Out (2019) <<

Claire Debella: Why can't she have her phone?
Lionel Toussaint: 'Cause she's mean.
Birdie Jay: No. Because she's afraid that I will tweet an ethnic slur.
Peg: Again. And you agreed no phone for the rest of the media cycle.
Birdie Jay: I didn't even know that that word referred to Jewish people. I thought it was a generic term for cheap.
Peg: "Jewy"?
Birdie Jay: Everything is so woke these days, it's out of control.

Duke Cody: So this has gotten some attention recently, so obviously I would like to speak to this, and the answer is no, Jimmy Kimmel, I do not hate boobs. Boobs give us many useful things. Boobs give us milk, cheese. Breasts nourish our young until the age where we can go out and hunt for them. Let's be honest. Boobs are fun.

Duke Cody: So when we're talking about the breast-ification of America... I mean, what that means is a breakdown in the natural order. Evolutionary truths that go back billions of years. So when you're asking a young man in America to slow down so a woman can catch up... For centuries, the Western workplace has been dominated by men 'cause... that's what nature made us to do.

Benoit Blanc: I think I might be going insane. My mind is a fueled-up racing car, and I got nowhere to drive it.

Benoit Blanc: I need danger, a hunt, a challenge. I need... a great case.

Benoit Blanc: Is that a motorcar?
Miles Bron: Oh, yeah. That's my Baby Blue. It's one-of-a-kind. Goes anywhere I go. All around the world.
Benoit Blanc: Why is it on the roof?
Miles Bron: 'Cause there's nowhere to drive it on the island.

Miles Bron: It's so good. I am mortified... I've got the predefinite detective in the world at my murder mystery party. That is so legit.

Benoit Blanc: Mr. Bron, I've learned through bitter experience that an anonymous invitation is not to be trifled with.

Miles Bron: If you want to shake things up, you start with something small. You break a norm, or an idea, or a convention, some little business model. But you go with things that people are kind of tired of anyway. Everybody gets excited because you're busting up something that everyone wanted broken in the first place. That's the infraction point. That's the place where you have to look within yourself and ask, "Am I the kind of person who will keep going?" Will you break more things? Break bigger things? Are you willing to break the thing that nobody wants you to break? Because at that point, people are not gonna be on your side. They're gonna call you crazy. They're gonna say you're a bully. They're gonna tell you to stop. Even your partner will say, "You need to stop." Because as it turns out, nobody wants you to break the system itself. But that is what true disruption is. And that is what unites all of us. We all got to that line and crossed it.

Claire Debella: Why would you hang a framed print of the Mona Lisa front and center? It's like having a Che poster in your dorm room.

Miles Bron: Any questions?
Benoit Blanc: Uh, wait... What do we win?
Miles Bron: I... What do you mean? What do you... What do you want?
Benoit Blanc: No. No, nothing, I just... I just thought maybe there was a prize or something. I... An iPad or like...

Benoit Blanc: Oh! Have we started already, is it...
Miles Bron: Well, the murder hasn't happened. But...
Benoit Blanc: Oh, yeah.
Miles Bron: Yeah, why not? As Watson said to Holmes...

Miles Bron: Andi... Andi used to tell me the truth. Nobody does that now. It's all just fake smiles and agendas and people wanting what they think they're owed. Hating you when you don't give it to them because that's what you're there for.

—
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Σ «...louder, sillier, and sunnier than Knives Out»
Σ «...one of the best Netflix movies ever»

Chair Model

The Office 4×10

Michael Scott: What is it like being single? I like it. I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate, and desperate situations yield the quickest results.

Michael Scott: I am ready to start dating again. I'm getting back on the market. So, FYI, for those of you who're thinking about fixing me up with any of your friends, use the woman on Page 85 as a template. That will be all.

Michael Scott: Hello, Oscar Mayer Weiner lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl-type friends who trust you implicitly, because they know you'd never touch 'em because of your condition.

Michael Scott: No, no. I am a catch, and I am not going to be the one who got away.

Michael Scott: Well, look, I have an assigned parking place in front, so... All right, all right, all right. Let me try to think about what it would be like to not have one..... Okay, yes, that would be bad.
Andy Bernard: Yes!
Michael Scott: That would be bad.
Kevin Malone: Okay, so...
Andy Bernard: Help us out.
Michael Scott: Wish I could, but I can't. Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but, shorn't.
Kevin Malone: Michael, please...
Michael Scott: What part of "shorn't" don't you understand, Kevin?... Look, I could probably handle it, yes, but... I think it would be a good exercise for you guys to do it yourselves.
Andy Bernard: We won't let you down!
Michael Scott: You can't, because I don't care.

Michael Scott: She's dead? But she's so young.
Dwight Schrute: She was so young, and now, she is dead. As dead as every dead animal who has ever died.

Michael Scott: No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.

Margaret: Are you Michael Scott?
Michael Scott: Is who Michael what?

Michael Scott: Well, I'm looking for a passionate affair, not companionship. I'm a man of intensity. Of cool, and youth, and passionately.

—
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Star Trek: Generations (1994)

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) <<

Journalist: This is the first Starship Enterprise in 30 years without James T. Kirk in command. How do you feel about that, sir?

Kirk: Scotty, it absolutely amazes me.
Scotty: And what would that be, sir?
Kirk: Sulu, when did he find time for a family?
Scotty: Well, like you always say, if something's important, you make the time.

Scotty: Finding retirement a little lonely, are we?
Kirk: You know, I'm glad you're an engineer. With tact like that, you'd make a lousy psychiatrist.

Data: Doctor, I must confess, I am uncertain as to why someone falling into freezing water is amusing.
Dr. Crusher: It's all in good fun, Data.
Data: Fun?
Dr. Crusher: Fun.
Data: I do not understand.
You've got to get into the spirit of things. Learn to be spontaneous, live in the moment.
Dr. Crusher: Do something unexpected. Get it?
Data: Got it.

Picard: Just imagine what it was like. No engines, no computers, just the wind and the sea and the stars to guide you... Bad food, brutal discipline. No women. ... The best thing about life at sea, Will, was that no one could reach you. This was freedom, Will.

Dr. Soran: They say time is the fire in which we burn. Right now, Captain, my time is running out. We leave so many things unfinished in our lives. I know you understand...

Data: It appears to be magnetically sealed. I believe I can reverse the polarity by attenuating my axial servo... Open sesame! You could say I have a magnetic personality. Humor, I love it!

Guinan: If you go, you're not gonna care about anything. Not this ship, not Soran, not me. Nothing. All you'll want is to stay in the Nexus, and you're not gonna want to come back.

Dr. Soran: Have you ever considered a prosthesis that would make you look a little more... How can I say? More normal?
La Forge: What's normal?
Dr. Soran: What's normal? Well, that's a good question. Normal is what everyone else is and you are not.

Picard: Sometimes it takes courage to try, Data, and courage can be an emotion, too.

Dr. Soran: You know, there was a time when I wouldn't hurt a fly. Then the Borg came, and they showed me that if there is one constant in this whole universe, it's death. Afterwards, I began to realize it didn't really matter. We're all gonna die sometime. It's just a question of how and when.

Dr. Soran: It's like a predator. It's stalking you. You can try and outrun it with doctors, medicines, new technologies, but in the end, time is going to hunt you down and make the kill. It's our mortality that defines us, Soran. It's part of the truth of our existence.

Dr. Soran: Now you'll have to excuse me, Captain. I have an appointment with eternity, and I don't want to be late.

Picard: Kirk. James T. Kirk...

Kirk: You say history considers me dead. Who am I to argue with history?

Picard: You're a Starfleet officer! You have a duty.
Kirk: I don't need to be lectured by you. I was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers. Besides which, I think the galaxy owes me one.

Kirk: Oh, yeah. I was like you once, so worried about duty and obligation I couldn't see past my own uniform. And what did it get me? An empty house. Not this time.

Kirk: Captain of the Enterprise?
Picard: That's right.
Kirk: Close to retirement?
Picard: I'm not planning on it.
Kirk: Let me tell you something. Don't. Don't let them promote you. Don't let them transfer you. Don't let them do anything that takes you off the Bridge of that ship, because while you're there you can make a difference.

Data: At first, I was unprepared for the unpredictable nature of emotions. However, having experienced 261 distinct emotional states, I believe I have learned to control my feelings. They will no longer control me.

Picard: Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives, but I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.

—
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>> Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

Dinner Party

The Office 4×9

Pam Beesly: I don't care what they say about me. I just want to eat.

Jim Halpert: Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it's called, "Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests." And they're both winning.

Pam Beesly: I have never, ever dated or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever.

Michael Scott: Dwight is my friend. You said that I could not invite Dwight because he was not part of a couple, and because we didn't have enough wine glasses. Dwight brought glasses and a person.

Michael Scott: Pam... I hope she didn't do anything to the food.
Pam Beesly: Like what?
Michael Scott: I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me.

—
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Splash

Bad Sisters 1×6

Grace Williams: It was an accident.
John Paul Williams: What was a one-eyed woman doing out there in the first place, shooting a gun?

Roger Muldoon: You know, when God closes the door, you just open a window. I've got all the gear. We could head out. Cast a wee line. Breathe in no better air.
John Paul Williams: I was expecting lemonade, Roger. Don't much fancy sucking the lemon.

Eva Garvey: If we were going to try again, we need zero risk of dogs and people and anything getting caught in the cross fire.
Ursula Flynn: Yes, so we may as well just light a candle, hope he drowns himself in his bath at night.

Grace Williams: So, tell me then about your day...
John Paul Williams: Where's my book?
Grace Williams: Your book?
John Paul Williams: Book. Object of fiction, loads of pages bound together with glue.

Becka Garvey: Let's wear white to his funeral.

—
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LBJ (2016)

Lady Bird Johnson: Don't you just love Texas? Is there anywhere else you'd rather be?

Senator Ralph Yarborough: I should tell you I have not changed my position in the slightest.
Lyndon B. Johnson: No problem. No problem at all. But, listen, while I got you here, there is one question... I've been meaning to ask you. Have you got shit for brains?

Senator Ralph Yarborough: We should be doing a heck of a lot more for the people who have less.
Lyndon B. Johnson: The only thing more irritating than a liberal is a liberal from Texas.

Lyndon B. Johnson: I'll endorse whoever wins our party's nomination.
Bobby Kennedy: And there's no chance that'll be you, correct?
Lyndon B. Johnson: How many different ways you want me to answer that?
Bobby Kennedy: One would suffice.
Lyndon B. Johnson: I have zero intention of running for president.

Lyndon B. Johnson: I wanna know why you're putting these signs up... For starters, Johnson has not said that he's running for president... The reason I know is because I'm fucking him! No, I'm not fucking him, I am him!

Walter Jenkins: He's the best Senate majority leader this country's ever had. He works harder than the other 99 senators combined. He doesn't understand why he's not the party's favorite. He doesn't understand why they don't just hand it to him.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Nobody gets handed the presidency...
Walter Jenkins: Why won't he commit?
George Reedy: That's complicated.
Walter Jenkins: He's afraid.
George Reedy: Of what?
Walter Jenkins: Hell, every politician's afraid people won't vote for him.
Lady Bird Johnson: He's afraid people won't love him.

Lady Bird Johnson: When father first met you, he said: "Daughter, you brought home a lot of boys. This time, you brought home a man."
Lyndon B. Johnson: At least he liked me right away.

Walter Jenkins: Ten of 36?
George Reedy: Of the 36 men who have been vice president... 10 have gone on to become president.

Walter Jenkins: Kennedy loses, the majority leader will be the most powerful Democrat in the country. Kennedy wins, the majority leader will still be... the most powerful Democrat in Congress. There's just no power in the vice presidency.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Walter, how long you been with me?
Walter Jenkins: Twenty-one years.
Lyndon B. Johnson: And in 21 years, can you think of a time that I have taken over a new office... and not made it 100 times more powerful than when I got there?
Walter Jenkins: No, sir.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Power is where power goes.
George Reedy: So, what are you saying? When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade?
Lyndon B. Johnson: No, George, I'm saying, sometimes, you think the Lord is giving you lemons... and, in fact, he's giving you big, beautiful titties.

Walter Jenkins: Which side are you on?
Lyndon B. Johnson: You're missing the point. As long as neither side declares all-out war, both sides need me. The best thing that can happen for me is this civil rights debate goes on forever.
George Reedy: And how do we make that happen, sir?
Lyndon B. Johnson: Compromise, boys. Endless compromise.

Lyndon B. Johnson: What did Abe Lincoln say after he woke up from a three-day drunk?
Senator Richard Russell: I don't know.
Lyndon B. Johnson: "I freed the what?"

Lyndon B. Johnson: I'm not saying that you're not right about this... but you need to do a little bit more on this one. You're gonna have to hire some nigras.
Senator Richard Russell: Well, who do you think mops the floors?
Lyndon B. Johnson: I'm not talking about janitors. I'm talking about engineers, skilled labor.
Senator Richard Russell: Show me a skilled one first.

Lyndon B. Johnson: The Kennedy did get elected by appealing to the colored man. Now, if we play this right, we're gonna have those nigras... voting Democrat the next 200 years.
Senator Richard Russell: You want me to surrender? What are you doing?
Lyndon B. Johnson: No. I am asking you... I'm begging you... to give these Kennedys a little something just to quiet them down.

Senator Richard Russell: The Kennedys attended private schools their entire lives. Now they wanna talk about equality. Voluntary integration is one thing, but don't you think that I... as an American citizen, shouldn't be forced to eat a hamburger... next to someone in a restaurant I don't wanna bump elbows with?
Lyndon B. Johnson: Dick, I think it is unconscionable... that you, as an American citizen, should ever... be forced to eat a hamburger.

Senator Richard Russell: I don't find this topic amusing.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Well, here's where I get confused. A baby calf is born. It grows into a cow, lives on a farm, gets slaughtered... butchered, packaged, shipped, cooked... and finally served to you. Most, if not all, those steps required the hands of black men. Why is it that when it comes time to eat it... you can't stomach the notion of sitting next to a black man while you chew?

Senator Richard Russell: "If the law can compel me to hire a negro... it can compel a negro to work for me. And such a law would do nothing more than enslave a minority." And that's what one senator had to say about civil rights legislation.
Lyndon B. Johnson: That's probably Strom Thurmond. He's an asshole and a moron.
Senator Richard Russell: No, it was you. 1949, your first speech on the Senate floor. Ha. You spoke for over an hour in opposition to a civil rights bill just like this one. I remember watching you speak, thinking to myself: "This young man's the future of the South..."

Senator Richard Russell: Look, what I'm talking about here is freedom. I'm talking about the preservation of a way of life. A way of life that you and I both grew up with. There's nothing wrong with that.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Then why are we whispering?

Senator Richard Russell: Mr. President... Mr. President. In this dark hour of our nation's history... we must remember to give thanks for our blessings. Because out of the despicable ashes of a presidential assassination... a new leader has emerged. And we're all here to offer our support. After a century of persecution, a century of being treated as inferior... after 100 long years... we finally have one of our own leading this nation. America has a Southern president! And we could think of no finer representative for our people.

Lyndon B. Johnson: I'm pleased to see you back at work already. The Constitution put me in the White House... but there's no law to make you stay here with me.

Lyndon B. Johnson: I know you loved President Kennedy... but I need you now more than he ever did. Not that I loved Caesar less... but that I loved Rome more.
Kenny O'Donnell: I can't believe he quoted Shakespeare.
Larry O'Brien: Can't believe he quoted Brutus.

Lyndon B. Johnson: They don't... They want... They want Jack. They love Jack. They love Bobby. They... They don't even like me.

Lady Bird Johnson: You're a good man in a tight spot. President Kennedy did wonderful things for America. Not the least of which was choosing you to be his successor.
Lyndon B. Johnson: He was a man of great ideas.
Lady Bird Johnson: Now the country needs a man... who can deliver.

Lyndon B. Johnson: The personal cook of the vice president of the United States... has to drive through towns without stopping... then squat to pee by the side of the road. Hundred years ago, she would've been a slave. Hundred years from now, hell, she might be president.

Kenny O'Donnell: Four other presidents have fought Congress on this and failed.
Lyndon B. Johnson: There will be no compromise. There will be no negotiation. And there will be no failure. This time, Congress is not fighting a president. It's fighting two. Never underestimate the intensity of a martyr's cause... or the size of a Texan's balls.

Ted Sorensen: Do you really believe he can accomplish all this?
Walter Jenkins: I do.
Ted Sorensen: How can he?
Walter Jenkins: The same way he always has.

Senator Richard Russell: I think I'm done drinking with you. You hurt the very people who made you who you are. And for what?
Lyndon B. Johnson: Civil rights is an idea whose time has come.
Senator Richard Russell: This will define your presidency.
Lyndon B. Johnson: I can only hope.

Lyndon B. Johnson: We've been talking about this forever, and we never say a damn thing.
Senator Richard Russell: Well... What...? What do you wanna say? That you're gonna turn your back on me? That you don't care about everything I've done for you? That you're willing to betray me?
Lyndon B. Johnson: That you're a racist.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Members of the House, Members of the Senate... my fellow Americans. All I have... I would have given gladly not to be standing here today. ...

Lyndon B. Johnson: Well, if we've learned anything from President Kennedy... it's that life is precious and time is fleeting. And I don't intend to waste either. Mistakes will be made, but inaction won't be one of them. John Kennedy gave people hope. Now we are gonna give them results. Let's get to work.

—
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A Storm for Christmas #1.1

David - The Traveller: That's the thing about hot dogs. What you put on a hot dog gives insight into what type of person you are. There are all kinds of sausages, right?
Ronja - The Priest: Sure.
David - The Traveller: Chorizo, bratwurst, wiener. But, you see... hm... a perfect, Norwegian hot dog packed with, you know, prawn salad, crispy onions and... pppppbth! And a small dollop of ketchup. And pbth! Some spicy mustard.
Ronja - The Priest: Oh, yeah.
David - The Traveller: Potato cake on top, that's on the same level as salted lamb ribs and chocolate-covered wafers. That's Norwegian.

Kine - The Service Assistant: You know if you get caught smoking, you can be banned from the airport?
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: That doesn't surprise me.

Marius - The Bartender: That'll be 109.
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: 109? The hell's in that beer, huh?
David - The Traveller: Pure joy in every single drop, man.
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: Yeah, more like extortion if you ask me.

David - The Traveller: Uh, was this your first negative review ever?
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: No, but it... it has a point, honestly.
David - The Traveller: Which is?
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: That it has a point.
David - The Traveller: And what is that point?
Arthur Berg - The Pianist: It's not important. Nothing comes after that damn point.
David - The Traveller: Mmm. Well, seems to me like you see it as a dead end. However, this point leaves your next direction up to you. You can reject the point, follow the point, go off in some new direction. It's all up to you, where to be.

—
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Glass (2019)

Split (2016) <<

Patricia: You treat people who think they're comic book characters or something?

Dr. Ellie Staple: How long have you believed your dad was a superhero?

Dr. Ellie Staple: The power of true, loving, physical affection, it's like something supernatural. It's the lack of it that caused this, and only the true version of it can heal it.

Dr. Ellie Staple: How do you know who's good and who's bad, David? Convince me.

Elijah Price: I'm a comic book expert, Patricia. I believe comic books are a continuation of documentation that has gone on for centuries of what humans are capable of. That they are what someone somewhere saw or felt.

Elijah Price: Are you aware that spandex, the underwear on the outside, and boots come from strongmen in the circus in the 1930s?... The freak show men who could do incredible feats of strength.

Elijah Price: Everything extraordinary can be explained away, and yet it is true. ... Everything we will see and do will have a basis in science. But it will have limits. This is the real world, not a cartoon. And yet some of us don't die from bullets. Some of us can still bend steel. That is not a fantasy.

Patricia: What do we call you, sir?
Elijah Price: First name, "Mr." Last name, "Glass."

Elijah Price: You're nine forever, right?
Hedwig: Yeah.
Elijah Price: That's incredible. You can see the world the way it really is. Always. Kid who can never grow old...

Elijah Price: You might want to try and stop us[, David]. Today is your coming-out party. At least you know what to wear.

Casey Cooke: Did you know the first Superman couldn't even fly? And Metropolis is actually New York City.

Elijah Price: The classic turn. The enemy becomes the ally because of the hero's unflinching sense of good.

Dr. Ellie Staple: They got it wrong in the comics. They talk about secret evil groups trying to stop the heroes. I don't think we are particularly evil, and we don't choose sides. We try to stop both of you. If there is one of you, the opposite of you appears. It escalates. We step in. There just can't be gods amongst us. It's not fair.

—
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The Deposition

The Office 4×8

Michael Scott: I am on my way to New York to be deposed as part of Jan's wrongful termination lawsuit. The company fired her for having the courage to augment her boobs.
Jan Levenson: And they displayed a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior.
Michael Scott: Yes. Yes. Pattern. "Pat-turn." My friend Pat took a turn. That's how I remember that.

Kelly Kapoor: I don't talk trash. I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like, "Your mama's so fat, she could eat the Internet." But smack talk is happening, like, right now. Like, "You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there."

Ryan Howard: We just want to be sure that you won't do anything to hurt us with your testimony. Do you understand?
Michael Scott: Abso-fruitly. Yeah.

Schneider: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael Scott: She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them.
Schneider: Could you be more specific. Who are the twins?
Michael Scott: To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They make milk. Schneider: You don't need to go any further.

Michael Scott: Why did I do it? .... You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.

—
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Sweet Virginia (2017)

Bernie: Well, Tom didn't really trust the banks... Nope. ... Why pay someone an arm and a leg to keep what's yours?

Sam: Things like this, Mags, you've just... just gotta let 'em pass through, wait it out.

—
On the IMDb

Eye for an Eye

Bad Sisters 1×5

Theresa Claffin: Well, it has to end one way or another. Have you seen the color of his skin? The man is gray. That is not a good look for a ginger.

Bibi Garvey: How do you drown a frog? In milk...

Bibi Garvey: Can a skull look smug?

Gabriel: So, when do I get to meet the rest of the Spice Girls then?
Eva Garvey: There is a scary one actually. And a baby one. And a ginger one, but sometimes.
Gabriel: So you're either Posh or Sporty.
Eva Garvey: I'm Posh with a capital "P." There's no sporty ones. And we're all good at downing wine if that's a sport? Is that a sport? If so, I'm an athlete.

Eva Garvey: That doesn't make you any less of a parent. Okay? Maybe one eye less of a parent.

Eva Garvey: I mean, why aren't you out? I mean, this is Ireland 2022. We're a bit fucking progressive these days.

Eva Garvey: You could have... You could have given me a sign or something.
Gabriel: Like, hold up a sign, "I'm gay"?
Eva Garvey: No. But a bloody… bloody rainbow. You know? A bloody little rainbow ribbon thing. Medal!

—
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Baby Becka

Bad Sisters 1×4

Thomas Claffin: So, when you're talking to her, focus on the lawyer's giveaways, which are?... Matt.
Matthew Claffin: What?
Thomas Claffin: Refusal to name the victim directly. Convoluted sentences...

Bibi Garvey: I got a medical journal from the library, and apparently, if you cut the aorta, you'll be done within 90 seconds, so...

Eva Garvey: I don't wanna hear the ins and outs of garroting someone.
Bibi Garvey: Why?
Eva Garvey: Because it's not happening, okay? It was one moment of madness. Two moments of madness. And that's it. It's over. It's done.

Minna Williams: John Paul loved frogs. He'd give them names, then drown them in milk. I found seven different glasses of milk with dead frogs under his bed.

—
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Survivor Man

The Office 4×7

Michael Scott: Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping. And... Do you know what "hypothetical" means?
Jim Halpert: Not real.
Michael Scott: Got it. So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, would you go?
Jim Halpert: Absolutely. Yes. When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes.
Michael Scott: Really?
Jim Halpert: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Oh, do you want to go today?
Jim Halpert: And I am always busy.

Michael Scott: Okay, I will only need two things, a roll of duct tape and a knife.

Dwight Schrute: People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace." Well, I say it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.

Michael Scott: I am leaving you in charge of the office for the rest of the day, and for the next several days. Do not try to follow me.
Jim Halpert: Okay. Great.
Michael Scott: This is a very personal, private experience in the wild that I wish to share with me, myself and I.
Jim Halpert: Yep.
Michael Scott: When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.
Jim Halpert: That'd be great.

Dwight Schrute: Do I believe that Michael possesses the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way... No, I do not.

Jim Halpert: There are 13 people working in this office, so 13 times a year, Michael gets a cake and balloons and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. And there are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are...
Michael Scott: Look at those wrinkles. Blacks do crack. Not crack the drug.
Jim Halpert: And the other is something inappropriate or horrible or both.

Michael Scott: Here we go into the wild, to the mighty forest. Can you smell the trees and the nature?

Kevin Malone: I work hard all day. I like knowing that there's going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.

Stanley Hudson: I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.
Jim Halpert: Why don't you just have an apple?
Stanley Hudson: Why don't you mind your business?

Jim Halpert: Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much.

Jim Halpert: Hey, everybody. Hi, how are you doing? Could I have your attention, please? 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing.
Pam Beesly: Conference room?
Jim Halpert: Yes. Conference room. Five minutes-- No. No. We're going to solve it right here.

Phyllis Lapin: Hey, Michael. I mean Jim.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.

Michael Scott: Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth and clothing and television, and hamburgers, and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. He didn't want to have to struggle to survive.
     I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. I don't need fresh air because I have the freshest air around, AC. And I don't need wide open spaces.

Michael Scott: So what did I miss?
Jim Halpert: Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.
Michael Scott: Oh. So, terrible idea.
Jim Halpert: Yeah.
Michael Scott: Okay, I did that. Rookie mistake.
Jim Halpert: You did do it?
Michael Scott: Yeah. Just wait. Ten years, you'll figure it out.
Jim Halpert: Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years, but...
Michael Scott: That's what I said. That's what she said.
Jim Halpert: That's what who said?
Michael Scott: I never know. But I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension when things sort of get hard.
Jim Halpert: That's what she said.
Michael Scott: Hey. Nice. Really good. Bravo, my young ward.

—
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