The One with Rachel's Going Away Party

Friends 10×16

Erica: ... Plus, hotels are fun! My room has this little fridge full of free snacks.
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact, they have one of the highest markups of any consumer product--
Monica: Ross, she's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.

Joey: I had a chance to stop her too.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? You know? Heads, she wins. Tails, I lose... Wait a minute......
Chandler: Yes, Joe?
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!

Monica: Rachel used to live in that room.
Chandler: Rachel. With handcuffs. Interesting....
Monica: Joey's bare ass!
Chandler: Well played.

Ross: What was that all about?
Phoebe: She's gonna say goodbye to each of us individually.
Ross: Are you kidding? Oh, my God.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. It's gonna be even worse for you.
Ross: God...
Phoebe: Well, just get ready to do some serious crying.

Joey: You don't really handcuff guys to water pipes do you?
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is?

Rachel: Oh, honey...
Chandler: Let me just saying something because once we get into this... I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke. I just want to say that I... I love you. And I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Rachel: Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else.

Ross: What?! I don't get a goodbye?
Phoebe: Lucky bastard.

—
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Uncharted (2022)

Nathan Drake: Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! That was purely reactive.
Nathan Drake: So all that gold, it's just gone?
Sam Drake: Whoa. Lost. Not gone. There's a difference. If something's lost, it can be found.

Sam Drake: It says "sic parvis magna." "Greatness from small beginnings." That's you and me.

Victor Sullivan: There's only one rule in this game, kid: Don't get caught.

Chloe Frazer: Look, word to the unwise... everything out of this one's mouth is an exaggeration, a half-truth or an outright lie.
Victor Sullivan: You know what? That is not true.

Nathan Drake: Oh, my God. You have so many apps open. What is wrong with you?... Tinder? Really?
Victor Sullivan: I-I own that.

Nathan Drake: Stop thinking of the next lie you're gonna tell me.

Victor Sullivan: You hate me. All right, I get it. Look, I'd hate me, too.

Victor Sullivan: Cloves. You know, back then, spices were worth nearly as much as gold.

Victor Sullivan: It's Braddock. We'd better get small. Or, in your case, smaller.

Nathan Drake: Hey. You want to go show 'em what's what?

Nathan Drake: Hey! All hands on deck! Raise the anchor! Hoist the mainsail!
Victor Sullivan: Hey, Jack Sparrow, stay sharp.

Nathan Drake: Look at her! You can't put a price on that.
Victor Sullivan: Yeah, you can, actually. Like four to six billion.

Nathan Drake: You got a heart of gold, Sully.
Victor Sullivan: Real funny, wiseass.
Nathan Drake: What, too soon?
Victor Sullivan: Forever is too soon.

Nathan Drake: What... What is that thing on your face?
Victor Sullivan: Hey, puberty's right around the corner, kid. You can grow your own.

—
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Σ pita4og: «суперпрекрасный внесезонный блокбастер, в котором режиссер Рубен Фляйшер сумел найти золотую середину, раздав вашим и нашим. Редкий случай, когда гик-ориентированное произведение очень грамотно интегрировано во вселенную кино. На экране чуть семейной драмы, немного авантюризма, много красивых локаций и квестов на знание всемирной истории. ...»

Echoes

Outlander 6×1

Jamie Fraser: We'll have no more of this senseless fighting. Catholics versus Protestants. We may not be stone masons, but we are, all of us, Scots. From now on, this prison will be a lodge, and we will be Freemasons, united by our belief in the Great Architect of the Universe. But any talk of politics or religion is forbidden. Who will join me?

Jamie Fraser: Well, that doesn't sound very good to me, Sassenach.
Claire Fraser: No? It's bloody marvelous.
Jamie Fraser: It would be a shame not to feel anything. ....
Claire Fraser: Shame we can't put everyone to sleep for 100 years but the two of us. And stop time. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Jamie Fraser: Mm.

Claire Fraser: You've been like my shadow ever since... Are you going to accompany me on every home visit from now to kingdom come?
Jamie Fraser: And long after that, Sassenach.

Roger Mackenzie: I'm something of a schoolmaster myself. Or was... once upon a time.

Brianna Mackenzie: Opening a bar?
Claire Fraser: Ha. I am distilling Ether for anesthetic.
Brianna Mackenzie: Hmm, pretty radical.
Claire Fraser: I prefer the term "revolutionary."
Brianna Mackenzie: Well, a lot of folk'll be using that term soon enough. Revolution of hearts and minds.

Jamie Fraser: Has anyone here built a cabin before?... Well, then, Mr. Christie, mebbe I should explain how we do things here.

Jamie Fraser: My land... my means.

Claire Fraser: I've never been afraid of ghosts. I live with them daily. When I look into a mirror, my mother's eyes look back at me. My mouth curls with the smile that lured my great-grandfather to the fate that was me...

Claire Fraser: All the time, ghosts flit past and through us, hiding in the future. Each ghost comes unbidden from the misty grounds of dreams and silence. Our rational minds say, "No, it isn't." But another part, an older part, echoes always softly in the dark, "Yes, but it could be." By blood and by choice, we make our ghosts. We haunt ourselves.

--
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The Office (US) — Pilot

The Office 1×1

Michael Scott: Pam Beasley. Uh, Pam has been with us, um... for... forever. Right, Pam?
Pam Beasley: Well, I don't know.
Michael Scott: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago.

Michael Scott: People say I am the best boss. They go, "God, we've never worked in a place like this before. You're hilarious. And you get the best out of us." Um... I think that pretty much sums it up.

Jim Halpert: My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone, about... uh, quantities and, uh, type of... copier paper. You know, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh... pay for it. And, um... I'm... I'm boring myself just talking about this.

Pam Beasley: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might... I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.

Michael Scott: People I respect, heroes of mine, would be... Bob Hope. Um... Abraham Lincoln. Definitely. Bono. Uh, and probably God... would be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it's, um... it's really beyond words. It's really incalcalacable.

Jim Halpert: If I left, what would I do with... all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders?

Michael Scott: Introduce yourself. Be polite.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Michael Scott: Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Michael Scott: So, uh, have you felt a vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. Right?

Michael Scott: I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second. Probably, uh... Entertainer third.

Michael Scott: What is the most important thing for a company? Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? Nuh-uh. It's the people. The people. My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17%. Or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee. No, no, no, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy. First job in the country, barely spoke English. Came to me and said, "Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?" Wow. Wow! WOW! Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

—
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Ambulance (2022)

Danny Sharp: Rich people don't like it when you envy their shit. It makes them feel guilty.

Captain Monroe: Strategy. Kind of like a mix between a chess match and a cage fight.
Lieutenant Dhazghig: Great analogy.
Captain Monroe: Put a little pressure on, then I pull back. Then I push harder, get 'em off balance. In two hours, they're either dead or in cuffs.
Lieutenant Dhazghig: Uh, not the fluffy ones, though. The real hard metal. You know, the cold metal on the skin.

Cam Thompson: We need to take him to the hospital now!
Danny Sharp: Yeah, well, I wish I didn't have herpes, but, you know, we all got to go with what we got.

Captain Monroe: Who brought my fucking dog on a police chase?
Officer Mark: And who puts a big-ass dog in a cop car?

Danny Sharp: Why does everybody think they are so special? I don't know what's going on nowadays. You're just like the rest of us. You're just not important.

FBI Agent Anson Clark: Where is that? I don't usually go east of Downtown.
Lieutenant Dhazghig: You realize four million Angelenos live east of Downtown?
FBI Agent Anson Clark: Sorry. My husband is an environmental attorney. Okay? We like the beach.
Lieutenant Dhazghig: That's, like, the whitest thing I've ever heard.
FBI Agent Anson Clark: Well, I'm white. I can't help it.
Captain Monroe: Save it for Oprah, buddy. We got shit going on.

Will Sharp: Who are these guys?
Danny Sharp: Just relax. They just saved our asses.
Will Sharp: Who saves us from them?

Officer Zach: Was your... Was your hand in my stomach?
Cam Thompson: Like, way in.

—
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A Random Act of Kindness

Inside No. 9 (7×5)

Rudolph: Newton's first law states that an object in motion... will remain in motion unless an external force... imposes a change upon it. Similarly, an object at rest will remain at rest until an unbalanced force affects it. This is also known as the law of inertia.

Helen: Can we do anything for it, do you think?
Bob: Er, if you had a small - double L - box and a quiet space, he might just come to.

Helen: Hopefully, it's not a concussion.
Bob: Sparrow, I think - double R. Aw... They're tough old birds.

Helen: I'm Helen, by the way.
Bob: Oh, erm, Bob. Bob Bliss - double S.

Bob: It's all - double L - relative, so, er...

Helen: Aw, this is my son, Zach.
Bob: Pleased to - double E - meet you.

Bob: Right, as one uranium-238 nucleus said to the other uranium-238 nucleus, "I've got to split..." He gets it.

Bob: I do have some spare time at the moment. That is to say, I'm not fully - double L - engaged, erm... Yeah, why don't I come round Thursday at six, see - double E - how we get on?

Rudolph: Newton's second law of motion, in its simplest form, can be expressed by the equation F=ma, or force equals mass times acceleration.

Bob: Oh, this is top-notch, Zach. Well - double L - done.

Bob: Very good - double O.

Bob: I, erm... I couldn't help but notice your tattoo Double T - double O...

Bob: Oh, I think she does care, Zach. I think she cares very deeply - double E... but, as you know, objects with the same force...
Zachary: Do repel each other.

Bob: It's the Grand National on Saturday. Now, study the weights of the horses and the jockeys. Try and use physics to pick us out a winner - double N.

Helen: So... What do you do with your days? If you don't mind me asking.
Bob: No, erm... I work part time as a book-keeper - double O, double K, double E.
Helen: A bit of a mouthful.
Bob: Yes.
Helen: Well... you could be...an egg batterer, and then you'd say, "Double G and T," every day! You'd end up pissed!

Bob: Right, I'd best be off. Thanks for dinner - double N. And double F - off. Double F - off.

Rudolph: A force is a push or a pull that acts upon an object as a result of its interaction with another object. These forces are subject to Newton's third law of motion. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Bob: Have you learned anything yet about the Doppler effect? Double P, double F. It describes the changing frequency of a wave in relation to an observer moving relative to the source of that wave for example, why a police siren is higher in pitch when it approaches... double P - and lower in pitch when it drives away. It's like time. It drags when you're young, but when you're older... it flies by. And you find yourself thinking about the things you wish you'd done differently - double F.

--
On the IMDb

The One Where Estelle Dies

Friends 10×15

Rachel: It's in Paris.
Ross: What?!
Joey: No, no, no! No, no, no! No, no, too much is changing, okay?

Ross: I'm here to see if you'll give Rachel her job back.
Mr. Zelner: Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this?
Ross: No. First I have to get you to agree... then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Mr. Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.

Ross: Does he, um...? Does little Ross like dinosaurs, by any chance?
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about. Why?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History... after everyone else has left, just the two of us... and he can touch anything he wants?.... I just heard it how you must have heard it, and that's not good. Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist. You'll be there with us, and the touching refers only to bones... Fossils!

Phoebe: All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: Well, okay. Why?
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason.
Joey: .... I love that saying!

Joey: I'm gonna call her and hire her again.
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her. You wait for her to call you.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because patience is the road to understanding. Which is the key to a happy heart.
Joey: .... You blow me away.

Phoebe: All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Joey: I promise.
Phoebe: Okay.
Joey: And that means never having to give a reason!

Janice: What a small world!
Janice: And yet I never run into Beyoncé.

Janice: Goodbye, Chandler Bing.

—
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The One with Princess Consuela

Friends 10×14

Ross: Guess what happened at work today.
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago?
Ross: Uh, try 65 million years ago. And then try: Shh!

Monica: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.
Phoebe: Wrong again. Apparently, you can change it to anything. So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative." So meet... Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.

Monica: Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Phoebe: No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.

Ross: No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job. Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."

Phoebe: Rita, this is my husband.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. This is, uh... This is my husband, Crap Bag.
Rita: Crap Bag?
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.

Rachel: The job is in Paris....

—
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The Secrets We Keep (2020)

Maja: We have to kill him.

Maja: You know what I hate most about this? When I first saw him, my instinct was to move. To run away. 'Cause we moved... we moved around a lot when I was a kid. The Romanians threw us from one place to another.

Rachel: I'm not sleeping. Too worried. Maybe your husband can prescribe something?
Maja: ... I have the same problem. After the war.
Rachel: Thomas too. You should really meet him when he's back. He'd be so happy to know another European in this town, I'm sure.
Maja: We're very similar. You know, both of us married Americans and... Got out of there as soon as possible...

Lewis: We can get out of this, Maja. Get our lives back to normal.
Maja: My life will never be normal.

Lewis: Can't we move on... And put it behind us? Even if it is him. Can you forgive... For our sake? Please? For our sake!...

Maja: You told me you didn't need to hear what happened. And I didn't listen to you. And now we're here together. And we move on together... Lewis, look at me. Look at me. You go to work. I'll go to Albert's. I pick up Patrick. Take him to school. We move on.

—
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The One Where Joey Speaks French

Friends 10×13

Ross: No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this is a good idea.
Rachel: Well, we won't know that until we do it, will we?...
Ross: No, um, uh, look, um. You are upset about your father, and you're feeling vulnerable... and I just don't feel it would be right. I feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
Rachel: What...? Taking advantage? I am giving you the advantage. Enjoy!

Ross: I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that!

Phoebe: You're not... You're... Again, you're not speaking French!!

Ross: You've been quiet all morning. Is everything okay?
Rachel: Mm-hm.
Ross: You sure you're all right?
Rachel: Yep.
Ross: Okay. Um. Well, I'm gonna go, uh, grab us some breakfast--
Rachel: FYI.
Ross: There it is.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.

Ross: Wait, wait, you're, uh, mad at me about last night? I was just trying to do the right thing.
Rachel: Really? If you had done the right thing... I wouldn't have woken up feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would've woken up feeling comforted and satisfied.
Ross: Well...
Rachel: Oh, stop that!

Ross: I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before. This is the worst ever!
Rachel: Oh, oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either.

Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past now.
Ross: Mm-hm.
Rachel: Not even one more time.
Ross: Not even once.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Ross: Even if we want it... really bad.
Rachel: That's what we decided.
Ross: Yeah, ha, ha, that's right... It's kind of hard, though. You know?
Rachel: Yeah. When two people have a connection, you know, that's... Just seems like... such a... waste.
Ross: I hate waste.

Rachel: Ross?
Ross: Yes?
Rachel: Just so you know... with us... it's never off the table.
Ross: ..... Damn it, it's never off the table!

—
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Braveheart (1995)

William Wallace: I can fight.
Malcolm Wallace: I know. I know you can fight. But it's our wits that make us men.

Argyle Wallace: Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.

William Wallace: What are they doing?
Argyle Wallace: Saying goodbye in their own way. Playing outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes.

Longshanks - King Edward I: The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots.

Longshanks - King Edward I: Perhaps the time has come to reinstitute an old custom. Grant them Prima Nocte... First night. When any common girl inhabiting their lands is married, our nobles shall have sexual rights to her on the night of her wedding. If we can't get them out, we'll breed them out.

William Wallace: You've dropped your rock.
Hamish: Test of manhood.
William Wallace: You win.

William Wallace: Murron, would you like to come and ride with me on this fine evening?
Mother MacClannough: In this? You're out of your mind.
William Wallace: It's good Scottish weather, madam. The rain is falling straight down. Slightly to the side, like.

William Wallace: Of course, running a farm's a lot of work, but that will all change when my sons arrive.
Murron: So you've got children?
William Wallace: Not yet, but I was hoping that you could help me with that.
Murron: So you want me to marry you, then?
William Wallace: It's a bit sudden, but all right.
Murron: Is that what you call a proposal?
William Wallace: I love you. Always have.

Robert Bruce 17th: This Wallace, he doesn't even have a knighthood, but he fights with passion, and he inspires.
Robert Bruce 16th: And you wish to charge off and fight as he did? So would I.
Robert Bruce 17th: Well, maybe it's time.
Robert Bruce 16th: It is time to survive. You're the 17th Robert Bruce. The 16 before you passed you land and title because they didn't charge in.

Robert Bruce 16th: You admire this man, this William Wallace. Uncompromising men are easy to admire. He has courage, so does a dog. But it is exactly the ability to compromise that makes a man noble. And understand this, Edward Longshanks is the most ruthless king ever to sit on the throne of England, and none of us and nothing of Scotland will remain unless we are as ruthless.

William Wallace: Fight, and you may die. Run, and you'll live. At least awhile. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom?

William Wallace: Here are Scotland's terms. Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness for 100 years of theft, rape and murder. Do that and your men shall live. Do it not and every one of you will die today.

William Wallace: There's a difference between us. You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom, and I go to make sure that they have it.

Princess Isabelle: Will you speak with a woman?

Princess Isabelle: I understand you have recently been given the rank of knight.
William Wallace: I have been given nothing. God makes men what they are.
Did God make you the sacker of peaceful cities, the executioner of the king's nephew, my husband's own cousin?

William Wallace: You know what happens if we don't take that chance?
Hamish: What?
William Wallace: Nothing.

Robert Bruce 16th: At last, you know what it means to hate. Now you're ready to be a king.

Princess Isabelle: In time, who knows what can happen if you can only live.
William Wallace: If I swear to him, then all that I am is dead already.
Princess Isabelle: You will die. It will be awful.
William Wallace: Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

—
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How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×8

Joel: I killed him. I killed my father.
Midge: Joel, no.
Joel: Yes. Yes, I'm like that guy, uh... Who was it?
Midge: Who was who?
Joel: The guy in the Bible that killed his father.
Midge: I don't know. Uh, Abraham?
Joel: No. He was the one who almost killed his son.
Midge: Absalom?
Joel: No. It didn't start with an "A." Uh, Oedipus?
Midge: That's not the Bible.
Joel: But he killed his father.
Midge: And married his mother.
Joel: Well, other than that, I'm that guy.

Midge: What did you say?
Joel: I was nervous, so I-I just blurted shit out, and I think I kind of mushed "Chinese" and "pregnant" together. I should've let one sink in, then hit him with the other.

Imogene: I had nothing to do with this, so I'll just be the person who pats people's arms.

Shirley: What are you gonna do if Rose goes first?
Abe: What? Oh, no. I-I'm definitely going first.
Shirley: I think God is a cruel god. Don't you?
Abe: Well, I actually think God is more of a brilliant marketing ploy.
Shirley: It's cruel that people know they're going to die. It's like someone telling you the end of a movie before you've seen it. I mean, how much fun is it sitting through Casablanca if you already know Ingrid Bergman isn't ending up with Humphrey Bogart? No tap dancing, no dwarves. One song, and Bogart walks off with the guy who hangs out with Nazis.
Abe: It is a very overrated movie.

Shirley: Anyhow, before we got him back, when my grandmother thought he was gone for good, she said, "He's lucky. He died with all his teeth." That's the best you can hope for in life, that you die with all your teeth.

Abe: "What's he known for?" he kept saying. "What's he known for?" As if a-a man's life is measured by how many people have heard of him? Mickey Mouse, a known anti-Semite, can get an obituary in The New York Times, but Moishe Maisel cannot?!

Midge: It's hard seeing the men in your life scared. And with the men out of commission, the women are left to keep things going. Now, this is not totally unusual, right? I mean, women could be bleeding from the head, and they'd host a dinner party if the invitations were already sent out. But we never think about it like that. We just assume we're supporting the real leaders.

Midge: Are women more important than God?... Hmm. What if we discover one day that we were always the ones in charge? Just, no one told us.

Lenny Bruce: It's always the pretty ones who try to kill you.

Abe: ..... Uh, well, after the 13 Jews, I-I do a long run about whether or not God exists.

Moishe: He does.
Abe: Well, that's been the debate.
Moishe: There's no debate. He does.
Abe: Okay, I know you feel like that, but...
Moishe: Abe, I'm lying in a hospital bed. Give me this.
Abe: God exists. For now. .....

Abe: You... were a very good man. And I... I miss you very much. But you're not dead, so...

Moishe: You love her. You're going to marry her, have a family, another grandchild. That's a mitzvah. That, we celebrate.
Joel: Thank you, Pop.
Moishe: However, she has to be Jewish by the time you tell your mother.
Joel: What?!
Moishe: It's easy. She meets a rabbi, reads a book, takes a bath.
Joel: Pop.
Moishe: I'm getting very weak, Joel. Try not to upset me.

Midge: Lenny. Little tip: the nicer the lady looks, the worse her shoes are.

Lenny Bruce: I'm not the stand-up messiah. This is what I want. This is what I have worked for. Don't you want this? Don't you want to be here? Don't you want to know a thousand mental patients braved a fucking snowstorm to see you? That should be the goal.
Midge: How do you know it's not?
Lenny Bruce: Because you're not gonna get here hiding yourself away in a club that technically doesn't exist.
Midge: I'm not hiding.
Lenny Bruce: You sure as fuck are hiding. So what you got dumped by Baldwin? Who gives a shit? Go get another gig. And another and another.
Midge: So I'm just supposed to get fired from one job after another?
Lenny Bruce: Yes! If that's what it takes.

Lenny Bruce: Listen to me. I have made a lot of mistakes and I am gonna keep making a lot of mistakes, but one thing is crystal clear in my mind and it's what the endgame is.

--
On the IMDb
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The One with Phoebe's Wedding

Friends 10×12

Phoebe: You've, you know, sort of been like a dad to me. You've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom.
Joey: I am pretty "wisdomous."

Chandler: I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely practice my meals before I eat.
Mike: What did we say was your one gift to us?
Chandler: No stupid jokes, but I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Phoebe: Rehearse it.

Mike: Hey, guys, how's it going?
Chandler: Fine. We're sitting here, alone, doing nothing. It's our rehearsal for tomorrow.

Ross: So? What did you decide?
Phoebe: I decided to pee.

Joey: Have a seat. Last night... I tried to welcome you into my family. And instead, you disrespect me. I cannot allow this.
Mike: Are you rehearsing for some really bad Mafia movie?

Mike: Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: That's what I wanted to hear. Because she's family, okay? And now you're gonna be family. And there's nothing more important in the whole world than family.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie...
Joey: That was me!

Phoebe: Help me.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I want you to be crazy bitch again.
Monica: Really?
Phoebe: Please?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married!

Mike: Phoebe, you are so beautiful. You're so kind. You're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure. And I can't believe how lucky I am. And I can't wait to share my life with you forever.

—
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Ethan... Esther... Chaim

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×7

Gitta: Good morning, sir. Are you enjoying your day?
Abe: Very much. Thank you.
Gitta: And there's more days you'd like to enjoy?
Abe: I beg your pardon?
Gitta: I insist on feeding my family. So when my livelihood is threatened, I threaten back.
Abe: That's understandable.
Gitta: There's a line in the Torah: "fuck with me and you die." Have a think on this.

Molly: Oh, do you have a moment? I'd like to discuss matchmaking.
Abe: Oh. Sure. It's got quite the lively history. The first matches date back to 14th century China. They dipped pine sticks in sulfur...
Molly: I meant the kind your bony wife is engaged in.
Abe: My...
Molly: You're Abe Weissman, aren't you? Husband of Rose, father to Miriam, grandfather to Ethan, Esther and Chaim...

Abe: Oh, you know, I have nothing to do with what my wife does.
Molly: But you have influence. You're the man, aren't you?
Abe: I suppose.
Molly: Unless we take your manhood from you.

Rose: Your coat is ripped. Did they hurt you?
Abe: No. But I was afraid they would follow me from the store, so I did everything I could to shake them. I serpentined my way through streets, ran into random shops, dove between cars.
Rose: Oh, my God!
Abe: Then I...
Rose: Abe?
Abe: I...
Rose: You what?
Abe: I ducked into a Catholic church, thinking sanctuary, at least from the Irish one. I thought it would be empty, but they were in the middle of mass. The only sound in the room was this windy pipe organ. There was a long line of people headed up the aisle, so I joined it. I had no idea what it was for. I just moved along with it. Blend in... that was the strategy. When I got to the front, everyone was kneeling. So I knelt, too. That's when I saw him. He was holding this silver cup. And in order not to look suspicious...
Rose: Abe, you didn't.
Abe: I took communion.
Rose: Oh, my God!
Abe: I think the priest was suspicious. Especially when he said, "The body of Christ" and I answered, "Mazel tov."
Rose: My head is spinning.
Abe: So, there I was, with a mouthful of Christ, wondering what the hell to do. I left immediately and took it out. And now... what do I do with it?
Rose: Wrap it up in something. Set it aside. We've got bigger worries.

Midge: You dress yourself completely on the top, then do the bottom?
Susie: Yes.
Midge: And not, like, start with underwear on top and bottom and then move on to outerwear?
Susie: No.

Midge: This again?
Rose: Yes, this again. What you do affects me. And your father, everyone around you. We're connected, Miriam. Now tell me what I said in there!
Abe: First of all, it's more than every couple of months!

Midge: So, lunch tomorrow, Dinah told me 1:30, but is that what time lunch is, or is that an hour before the actual lunch because she figures I'll be an hour late?
Susie: Well, if she thinks you'll be an hour late, that means we're meeting at 2:30. And she told me 12:45. And she knows I won't be more than 15 minutes late 'cause I'm coming from the Upper East Side, so that doesn't make sense.
Midge: And I know she schedules these things around my being late, so I'm already adjusting to that, so is she adjusting to my adjustment?

Midge: And I'll have a little something for you, too. Susie: A little something? What little something?
Midge: Besides a cupcake that Ethel Kennedy touched, which makes it special, I'm bringing your cut of the gig.
Susie: What gig?
Midge: A gig. I picked up a gig.
Susie: I didn't get you a gig.
Midge: Well, it was just a money gig I did. It falls into the money category. I'm all dolled up.
Susie: Okay, I have to go, but tomorrow I'll be very interested in hearing about what this gig was that you did that I didn't book for you.

--
On the IMDb
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Kid/Nap

Inside No. 9 (7×4)

Shane: I have your wife. She's tied up.
Dominic: Lara, you know I can't do phone sex. I'm in an open-plan office.

Clifford: I understand you've been playing the yes/no game with my halfwit colleague. Well, it's my turn now. Yes, we're waiting for? 1.3 million ransom from your hedge-fund prick of a husband. No, we won't compromise on the amount. Yes, I will kill you if he doesn't comply. And no, we're not playing games any more.

Clifford: Can I just ask what exactly you're trying to achieve at this point? Cos... remember, this is not, you know, exactly what my colleague and I had planned.

Shane: Look, it's all right, you're just suffering from the Stockport Syndrome. You'd probably feel the same way about me if I died.

Shane: All right, what do I do? Stick to the plan. First things first... let's cut your ears off....

Shane: I've got my instructions. Take the wife, clip her ears off, get the money, kill the wife.

DI Ellis: Can you confirm these belong to your wife?
Dominic: Do you mean the ears or the earrings?

DI Ellis: .... if you feel you or your wife are in imminent danger, I want you to use the safe word "granola granola", and I'll send the team in right away.
Dominic: "Granola granola"? How am I expected to slip that into conversation? It's hard enough saying it once.
DI Ellis: He's also requested that a car be left outside with its engine running.

DI Ellis: Now, it's your call, Dominic. I know it's a lot to ask.
Dominic: I've sweet-talked the Chinese into tripling their investment, I've negotiated myself a six-figure bonus, and this morning I scored 2.5K on Clash Of Clans. I can do this.
DI Ellis: Good man... What a tosspot.

DI Ellis: What...? What the hell happened? What happened?!
Dominic: Granola granola!... Granola granola!

--
On the IMDb

The One Where the Stripper Cries

Friends 10×11

Joey: I know it can be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities... but relax. I'm just like you, only better-looking and richer.

Molly Ringwald: So how come it took you so long to ask me out?
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kind of silly... but do you remember my roommate, Chandler Bing?
Molly Ringwald: Sure. He was in your "band."
Ross: It's been 16 years, but the air quotes still hurt. Heh.

Phoebe: You're not gonna pay him. He didn't do anything.
Roy - The Stripper: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed, I don't know, like, a billion stairs. And it's not like I can take them two at a time.
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you $300 for this.
Roy - The Stripper: It's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate... the male form in all its glory.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm uptight. That's why I don't wanna watch a middle-aged guy... dance around in what I can only assume is a child's Halloween costume.
Roy - The Stripper: I may have borrowed this from my nephew... but let me assure you, what's underneath is all man.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say "all man" or "old man"?
Roy - The Stripper: Whoa! You're mean.

Chandler: Hey! I'm in college and I'm in a band.
Rachel: Yeah, okay. Won't you take me to Funkytown?

Roy - The Stripper: What's the matter? You never saw a 50-year-old stripper cry before?
Phoebe: You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.
Roy - The Stripper: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean... this has been my life for 32 years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.

Monica: Oh, my God! You were my midnight mystery kisser?!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?!
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?!
Chandler: What did I marry into?!

—
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You're the Boss

Ozark 4×10

Omar Navarro: Make them fear you. You will have to convince them that you are not just some messenger boy. You need eyes and ears on everything. You will have to be commanding, Marty. You will have to be ruthless. You're going to have to be me. And if you show even an ounce of weakness, they will pounce. And if they don't respect you, they will join forces with a rival. Oh, and they will kill you.

Ruth Langmore: I think the Byrdes are fucking with me.
Frank Cosgrove Jr.: And you want me to help fuck back. Oh.
Ruth Langmore: Yeah.
Frank Cosgrove Jr.: I'll give you a hand.

Frank Cosgrove Jr.: I ... never had you pegged as a Darlene Snell wannabe. You always seemed more like a junior Marty Byrde type.
Ruth Langmore: Fuck you. I ain't either of them.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: We need to find out who did this.
Wendy Byrde: Well, then what?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: We do what Navarro would do.

Father Benitez: After similar ordeals, Omar usually calls me to hear his confession.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I'm not Catholic.
Father Benitez: God's love is for everyone.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Is that why you work at a cartel?
Father Benitez: I go where God's most needed.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: You think God can love anyone?
Father Benitez: You don't?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Uh... It does seem a... a little arbitrary.
Father Benitez: Oh. You think you're unworthy of love without condition. Right?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Nothing comes without conditions.
Father Benitez: Well, now, that's what you're wrestling with. Do you love unconditionally?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I'm not sure that it's the smartest thing to do.
Father Benitez: Are you loving or judging? If your love is conditional, it's also transactional. Love doesn't keep score, Marty. It's not self-seeking.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I think it's easier said than done.

Wendy Byrde: What are you gonna do?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: What else can I do?

—
On the IMDb
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Divine Providence

Fear the Walking Dead 7×14

Victor: There are days when one must swipe the slate clean, Wes. Today is one of them.

Victor: Be a gem and fetch us a bottle of Luna Fontezula 12 from cold storage, eh?

Victor: Take him to the basement.
Alicia: Daniel, it's gonna be okay. If you hurt him...
Victor: No. That's what the roof is for.

Wes: You can pretend to be outraged all you want, Alicia, but at the end of the day, you, Morgan, and Luci are just like Victor. At least he owns the shit he does.

Victor: I know you feel this way right now... but we have a long future ahead of us.
Alicia: No. We don't.

Daniel: It's never too late to learn new things... When you handcuff a person, you put their hands in the back, not the front.

Victor: Alicia, I know you must think I'm a monster, but I'm the same man I've always been. I've just stopped apologizing for it.

Alicia: Are you sure this is gonna work?
Victor: This isn't my first time walking into the unknown.

--
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Top Gun (1986)

Stinger: Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you should have done was land your plane. You don't own that plane, the taxpayers do. Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash.

Stinger: And let's not bullshit, Maverick, your family name ain't the best in the Navy. You need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guy. Now, what is it with you?
Maverick: Just wanna serve my country, be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, sir!

Maverick: I guess when I see something, I go right after it.

Ice: Maverick, it's not your flying, it's your attitude. The enemy's dangerous, but right now you're worse than the enemy. You're dangerous and foolish. You may not like the guys flying with you, they may not like you, but whose side are you on?

Maverick: I feel the need... Goose: ...the need for speed! Charlie: When I first met you, you were larger than life. Look at you. You're not gonna be happy unless you're going Mach 2 with your hair on fire, you know that.

Charlie: To be the best of the best means you make mistakes and then you go on. It's just like the rest of us.

—
+++ Quotes on the IMDb
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>> Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Maisel vs. Lennon: The Cut Contest

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×6

Lenny Bruce: We're comics. Creatures of the night. We discuss debauchery and pornography. We make jokes about dictators coming over for dinner. Ten minutes on how Stalin likes his steak. We don't wear aprons and discuss potty training.

Rose: Miriam, guess what. I have been invited to the Small Business Women's Council annual luncheon in Brighton Beach.
Midge: Really?
Rose: That's right. Your mother's now officially known as a small businesswoman. No, wait. A small women's business. No, I'm the owner of a business, and it's small, and I'm a woman, so... Well, I'm getting a free lunch.

Midge: Why? Why? Because I hate you. Hate! With the burning hate of a thousand suns. It's a lot of hate, Sophie. It starts here, boils here, brews here. It is a seething, writhing, lava-spewing volcano of hate. I really hate you.

--
On the IMDb
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The Northman (2022)

Aurvandil: The enemy had a taste of my liver.
Gudrun: Are you hurt?
King Aurvandil War-Raven: Almost enough for Amleth to be marked my successor... I watched his innocence tonight. He must be awoken to what awaits him.
Queen Gudrún: He is a puppy.
King Aurvandil War-Raven: He's the same age as my grandfather when he took the throne.
Queen Gudrún: That was different.
King Aurvandil War-Raven: He had to kill his uncle first.

King Aurvandil War-Raven: Pray my luck spirits see me to many war fields after I defeat this wound. I refuse to die in sickness nor live the long life of a shameful graybeard. I must die by the sword. I will die in honor.
Queen Gudrún: Fret not. You will die in battle, my lord. The gates of Valholl await you, I know it.

Amleth: I will avenge you, father! I will save you, mother! I will kill you, Fjölnir! I will avenge you, father! I will save you, mother! I will kill you, Fjölnir! I will avenge you, father! I will save you, mother! I will kill you, Fjölnir! I will avenge you, father! I will save you, mother!....

Olga of the Birch Forest: Your sheep's clothing does not disguise you, Northman.

Amleth: It's a nightmare.
Olga of the Birch Forest: Then you must wake up.
Amleth: It's their nightmare.

Olga of the Birch Forest: You found me.
Amleth: Were you lost?
Olga of the Birch Forest: Only if you were searching for me.

Amleth: I am Amleth the bear-wolf, son of King Aurvandil War-Raven, and I am his vengeance!

Amleth: It was prophesied that I must choose between kindness for my kin and hate for my enemies.
Olga of the Birch Forest: And see what hope we have before us.
Amleth: I choose both.

—
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The One Where Chandler Gets Caught

Friends 10×10

Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Monica: Sex.
Chandler: Seriously, answer faster.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, honey. No, when she said "sex," I wasn't thinking about sex with you, heh.
Chandler: It's like a giant hug.

Phoebe: Ross, how about you? Which would you give up, sex or food?
Ross: Food.
Phoebe: Okay, how about, um, sex or dinosaurs?
Ross: .... Oh, my God, it's like Sophie's Choice!

Phoebe: What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Joey: Uh... Ooh... Uh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Phoebe: No, you gotta pick one.
Joey: Uh, food. No, sex. Food. Sex. Food. Sex... I don't know. Oh, God, I want both. I want... I want girls on bread!

Rachel: They went in for 45 minutes, and then they came out looking pretty happy.
Ross: Chandler?
Rachel: Mm-hm.
Joey: Forty-five minutes? Well, something's not right.

Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it. Ross is doing it. Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it.

Phoebe: You know what I just realized? "Joker" is "poker" with a "J." Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's "jo-incidence" with a "C."

—
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The One with the Birth Mother

Friends 10×9

Rachel: Ross, please trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that NATO guy is... but I do know that you have to get far away from that hat.

Phoebe: So she took some fries. Big deal.
Joey: Hey, look, it's not about a few fries. It's about what the fries represent.
Phoebe: What?
Joey: All food!

Rachel: But, I mean, come on, look at this. Look at this sweater. I mean, this is just beautiful.
Ross: Wow, this is really soft... Three hundred and fifty dollars!?
Rachel: Down from 700. You're saving like 200 bucks.
Ross: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.

Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible say anything about adoption?
Monica: It says, "Do it..." "And behold, she did adopt unto them a baby. And it was good."
Erica: Wow.
Chandler: Yeah, wow.

Chandler: My wife's an incredible woman. She is loving, and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this, but the woman's always right.

Chandler: It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby. Please?

Chandler: You still want that baby?
Monica: God bless you, Chandler Bing!

—
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Pick a God and Pray

Ozark 4×9

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: You... you want a lot. Tell me how much is enough.

Father Benitez: I never know him to change his mind about a thing like this. And I have tried very hard for many years to talk him out of many, many things. What's your secret?
Wendy Byrde: All I did was present the facts.

Father Benitez: You believe in God, Wendy?
Wendy Byrde: It's a little early in the day for theology.
Father Benitez: You were raised with religion then. I-I-I think... Omar's arrest is an opportunity for all of you. You and your husband should seize it. So rare a cartel member gets a chance to make their peace with God. I can help you find a way.
Wendy Byrde: I made my peace a long time ago.
Father Benitez: No, no, espéreme. No, Wendy, no. There is no peace without contrition, confession, absolution and penance. I think you know that.
Wendy Byrde: I appreciate your effort. I don't need to be saved. I'll do that myself.
Father Benitez: You can try.

Ruth Langmore: Not such a smart move, trying to blackmail a woman you just watched kill a man. Is it?

—
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A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish and the Future

Young Sheldon 5×22

Nurse: This is... just a pimple.
Sheldon: Well, how can you be sure it isn't chickenpox? Or smallpox? Or monkeypox, which I know sounds made-up, but is very real.
Nurse: Have you been near any monkeys?
Sheldon: No.
Nurse: Try benzoyl peroxide.

Mary: We've been through tough spots before. We'll figure it out and... I know you don't want to hear it, but I've been praying on this...
George: You're right. I don't want to hear it.

Sheldon: Dr. Linkletter, may I speak with you?
Dr. Linkletter: If I say no, will you leave?
Sheldon: No.
Dr. Linkletter: Then why even ask?
Sheldon: It's called manners.

President Hagemeyer: All right, Sheldon, you are a smart kid. Now, you had to know that this was gonna happen eventually.
Sheldon: I'm a smart kid now, but what will I be in a year?
President Hagemeyer: A smart young man. And then a smart adult.
Sheldon: With money problems and marital strife and every other problem you can think of. I'll probably have a beer belly. Or root beer belly.

George: It's embarrassing that I busted my ass all these years, and this is where I am.
Mary: I'm right there with you. I lost my job, too.
George: Yeah, it's exactly the same.
Mary: You know what you are? I'm not gonna say it, but you know.

--
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Thank You for Your Service (2017)

Saskia Schumann: Do you remember who we were before all this?
Adam Schumann: A couple of dumb, horny kids.
Saskia Schumann: Pretty much.
Adam Schumann: Still dumb and horny.
Saskia Schumann: With a couple kids.

Sergeant Mozer: I'm glad that you're seeking treatment because we got 22 veterans a day killing themselves. And I don't get it. Warriors get stressed. We know this. But this obsession to end your own life, I can't wrap my head around it.

Patty Walker: There are hundreds of thousands of men and women seeking help.
Saskia Schumann: But he's a veteran.
Patty Walker: That's what I mean. There are hundreds of thousands of veterans seeking help.

Amanda Doster: You live. That's how you honor him.

—
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Home Team (2022)

Jamie: Connor, Harlan, you guys up for some vegan ice cream? It tastes just like regular ice cream. As long as you've never eaten regular ice cream.

Sean Payton: Got anything I can spread this jelly on?
Eric: There's some hard-boiled eggs over there.
Sean Payton: I didn't say the worst thing you could spread jelly on.
Eric: You didn't say the best.

Sean Payton: Everybody, listen up. The only reason to play football is to have fun. And the only way to have fun is to win. And the only way to win is with this.
Troy Lambert: A new playbook?
— Whoa! Awesome!

Game Announcer: Touchdown, Warriors! Incredible victory! The Warriors have barfed their way into the championship.

—
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How to Chew Quietly and Influence People

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×5

Midge: It's been weeks. You have to stop fighting.
Abe: Who's fighting? I'm simply recalibrating my entire relationship with your mother based on information she previously chose to keep secret for 35 years.

Solomon Melamid: Horses are easy. You throw them together, a little noise, maybe a stall door needs repairing, and that's that. If only it were as simple with daughters...

Solomon Melamid: I need to be able to bring my daughters' husbands into the family business. They can't be idiots, or obvious idiots.
Rose: Well, Mr. Melamid, I assure you I can find some very nice men who are not obviously idiots and will make Norma and Lorraine very happy.
Solomon Melamid: Oh, yes. Happy, that would be good, too. Not a deal breaker, but a nice bonus... Mrs. Weissman, I am appointing you director of the nearly bankrupt division of Melamid Industries known as my daughters' marital prospects.

Susie: You're late.
Sophie Lennon: It's my chauffeur. He fired himself. I had to take a cab.
Susie: Okay, so...
Sophie Lennon: Did you hear what I said? A taxicab. Susie... I'm exhausted. I had to hail it myself. I had to put my arm up in the air, I had to leave it there until the cab pulled over. I had to open my own door. I had to duck down...

Susie: Let me see your eyes. Well, at least they're spinning in the same direction. Did you take your meds, or stop taking them, whichever makes you less nuts?
Sophie Lennon: Yes, both.

Susie: These are delicious.
Midge: What are they?
Susie: I don't even know. A little ball of something that teaches you what pleasure is even if you've been half-dead your whole fucking life.

Moishe: You know that the key to a great relationship with your employees is respect. In order for them to be productive, they got to think you trust them unconditionally.
Joel: Absolutely.
Moishe: But every one of them's a thief, so don't trust a single one.

Moishe: You like her. That's all I know. That's all I need to know. But keep in mind your mother is very excited about Rachel-Rebecca-Ruth, and when she gets excited about something and that something disappoints her, our house gets very small and loud.

Rose: I'll get it.
Abe: But you'll miss the show... There should be a way to pause this. Like, you have a separate box recording the picture and sound simultaneously. It should be able to rewind, too.

--
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The One with the Late Thanksgiving

Friends 10×8

Chandler: Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Ross: That doesn't sound like you. That's Monica talking.
Chandler: No, no. We made this decision together.
Ross: She's putting words in your mouth.
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths.

Monica: I don't get older, I just get better.

Rachel: Oh, my God, it's Brussels sprouts!
Joey: That's worse than no food.
Chandler: Ha, ha! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts.
Monica: Stinky?!
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.

Joey: We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving, for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness.
Chandler: It's a day to be thankful.
Joey: Don't make me come up there!

—
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Us

This Is Us 6×18

Rebecca: ...him pushing me in that swing was just my favorite thing in the entire world, you know? And we swing. It was such a treat for me, going there with him. But I would just... I'd spend the entire time worrying about when... he would stop pushing me, when he'd say that it was time to go home. Really wish that I had spent more time appreciating it when it was all happening, instead of just... worrying about when it would end.

Rebecca: What should we do?
Jack: Nothing.
Rebecca: Nothing...
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: Oh, nothing sounds so nice.

Nicky: You know... before you came banging on the door of that trailer of mine, I had it pretty good, you know? I didn't care about anything. You know, the good thing... about not caring about anything is that you don't care when it's gone. Yeah. You really effed up my life, kid.

Jack: When you're young, you're always trying to be older. Then, when you get old, you're always trying to go back, be back. Try and appreciate the moments, you know? ... I mean, that's what we're doing, just... collecting these little moments. We don't recognize them when we're in 'em because... well, we're too busy looking forward. But then we spend the rest of our lives looking back. Trying to... trying to remember them. Trying to be back inside 'em... Hmm, it's strange, the things you remember.

Randall: It all just feels so... pointless. I spent my entire childhood worrying about losing her. I spent the past decade abjectly terrified of it. And now she's gone. And yet... the birds chirp on. I notice that I'm hungry. Five minutes ago, I thought about work. Tomorrow I'll shower. It just all feels so pointless. That too depressing?

William: Such a strange relationship: grandparent. Not as complicated as parent, not as fraught. But it's just... unconditional. Easy, pure love... What an unusual thing. To love someone so unconditionally when you know time probably won't allow you to be a big part of their story.

Rebecca: Jack, when the world puts something this obvious in front of you, you don't just walk away from it. You could be... missing out on something very important.

Rebecca: I'm scared.
Jack: I know. But don't be.

--
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Nine Lives Kat

Inside No. 9 7×3

Katrina: I'll show them. I will show them you do not need a cock and balls to crack a case, or stack a dishwasher in the most ergonomic way possible. You just need... a brain and a heart, and guts. And that's what I've got.

Katrina: Just shut up, Barney! I'm trying to think.
Barnabus: Sure, sure, although, er, strictly speaking, of course, all thinking is subconscious, because consciousness is an awareness of thoughts, not thinking itself, so you can't actually try to think.
Ezra: Why don't you go and put the kettle on?
Barnabus: I'm not sure it would fit.
Ezra: No, I mean SWITCH the kettle on. I think we could all do with a drink.
Barnabus: Oh, yeah, sure.

Katrina: Look, I know you think I'm taking this case too personally. But I'm a woman. And I empathise. And I know how to fight, and I know how to dig my heels in. And let me tell you size eight stilettos dig in deep.

Barnabus: I just love that name. It's so satisfying to say. "Barnabus Bull."
Ezra: My publisher likes it, too. I found out today. Three-book deal.
Barnabus: Yes! Red Rag To A Bull, The Bull's-Eye, Bull...
Katrina: Shit.
Barnabus: ...In A China Shop.

Ezra: I've got to let you go.
Katrina: Please don't.
Ezra: You've run out of lives, Kat.

Barnabus: Sorry, am I dead now?
Philippa: And am I a lesbian now?
Matilda: Or is that all in his head?

Matilda: I thought I was writing an updated Frankenstein, the postmodern Prometheus, but it's all gone a bit... Stephen King. A hack horror novelist haunted by his own characters.

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On the IMDb

White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People

Young Sheldon 5×21

Mary: This is the part of religion I don't like. I know Georgie made a mistake, but I thought, as Christians, we're supposed to forgive.
Pastor Rob: Well, I'm gonna ask you a tricky question... If this were happening to someone else in the congregation, how would you respond? ..... Good choice. That'll help.

Missy: Movies lie. Punching people hurts.
Sheldon: Try being the punchee.

Sheldon: If we're switching religions, may I recommend Judaism.
Mary: Why?
Sheldon: Both William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy are Jewish.
George: So?
Sheldon: Isn't that enough?

Mary: George. I'm not punishing her for doing the right thing. Violence is never the right thing.
George: I'm sorry, are we in California?

President Hagemeyer: What now?
Sheldon: You said if I ever had a problem, I could come to you and you'd fix it.
President Hagemeyer: When did I say that?
Sheldon: September 13th, 1991. You had just eaten a poppyseed bagel and had one stuck in your teeth.
President Hagemeyer: I'll take your word for it.
Sheldon: It was right here. How did it not make you crazy? It made me crazy.

Missy: What's going on here?
Mary: Uh, uh, praying, we're praying. Just praying.

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On the IMDb
+ Soundtrack