How to Chew Quietly and Influence People

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel 4×5

Midge: It's been weeks. You have to stop fighting.
Abe: Who's fighting? I'm simply recalibrating my entire relationship with your mother based on information she previously chose to keep secret for 35 years.

Solomon Melamid: Horses are easy. You throw them together, a little noise, maybe a stall door needs repairing, and that's that. If only it were as simple with daughters...

Solomon Melamid: I need to be able to bring my daughters' husbands into the family business. They can't be idiots, or obvious idiots.
Rose: Well, Mr. Melamid, I assure you I can find some very nice men who are not obviously idiots and will make Norma and Lorraine very happy.
Solomon Melamid: Oh, yes. Happy, that would be good, too. Not a deal breaker, but a nice bonus... Mrs. Weissman, I am appointing you director of the nearly bankrupt division of Melamid Industries known as my daughters' marital prospects.

Susie: You're late.
Sophie Lennon: It's my chauffeur. He fired himself. I had to take a cab.
Susie: Okay, so...
Sophie Lennon: Did you hear what I said? A taxicab. Susie... I'm exhausted. I had to hail it myself. I had to put my arm up in the air, I had to leave it there until the cab pulled over. I had to open my own door. I had to duck down...

Susie: Let me see your eyes. Well, at least they're spinning in the same direction. Did you take your meds, or stop taking them, whichever makes you less nuts?
Sophie Lennon: Yes, both.

Susie: These are delicious.
Midge: What are they?
Susie: I don't even know. A little ball of something that teaches you what pleasure is even if you've been half-dead your whole fucking life.

Moishe: You know that the key to a great relationship with your employees is respect. In order for them to be productive, they got to think you trust them unconditionally.
Joel: Absolutely.
Moishe: But every one of them's a thief, so don't trust a single one.

Moishe: You like her. That's all I know. That's all I need to know. But keep in mind your mother is very excited about Rachel-Rebecca-Ruth, and when she gets excited about something and that something disappoints her, our house gets very small and loud.

Rose: I'll get it.
Abe: But you'll miss the show... There should be a way to pause this. Like, you have a separate box recording the picture and sound simultaneously. It should be able to rewind, too.

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