The Office (US) — Pilot

The Office 1×1

Michael Scott: Pam Beasley. Uh, Pam has been with us, um... for... forever. Right, Pam?
Pam Beasley: Well, I don't know.
Michael Scott: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago.

Michael Scott: People say I am the best boss. They go, "God, we've never worked in a place like this before. You're hilarious. And you get the best out of us." Um... I think that pretty much sums it up.

Jim Halpert: My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone, about... uh, quantities and, uh, type of... copier paper. You know, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh... pay for it. And, um... I'm... I'm boring myself just talking about this.

Pam Beasley: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might... I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.

Michael Scott: People I respect, heroes of mine, would be... Bob Hope. Um... Abraham Lincoln. Definitely. Bono. Uh, and probably God... would be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it's, um... it's really beyond words. It's really incalcalacable.

Jim Halpert: If I left, what would I do with... all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders?

Michael Scott: Introduce yourself. Be polite.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Michael Scott: Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Michael Scott: So, uh, have you felt a vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. Right?

Michael Scott: I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second. Probably, uh... Entertainer third.

Michael Scott: What is the most important thing for a company? Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? Nuh-uh. It's the people. The people. My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17%. Or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee. No, no, no, no, no. It was a young Guatemalan guy. First job in the country, barely spoke English. Came to me and said, "Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?" Wow. Wow! WOW! Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

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