The One with Phoebe's Dad

Friends 2×9

Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh, my God, you should see the size of his Christmas balls!

Joey: I can't believe it's Christmas already. You know? One day you're eating turkey, the next thing you know... your lords are a-leaping and your geese are a-laying. Heh.

Ross: How about you make a list about me?
Rachel: Forget it. I'm not gonna stand here... and make a list... Okay, you're whiny... you are obsessive, you are insecure... you're gutless.
Ross: Heh.
Rachel: You don't ever just seize the day. You liked me for a year and you didn't do anything about it! And, uh... Oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair.

Phoebe: Can you believe this? In like two hours I'm gonna have a dad.

Phoebe: Here, you have to hold this.
Chandler: Okay... "Brake, left. Gas, right"?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, that's my cheat sheet.

Ross: Hey. Hey. Come on, just tell me. Please, please.
Monica: For the 16th time, no, I do not think you're obsessive.

Ross: All right. You know how you say I never seize the day? Even though he's your super, I'm seizing... Mr. Treeger? Here is 50 bucks. Merry Christmas.
Mr. Treeger: Oh, wow. I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.

Phoebe: You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week. I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.

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