The One with the Lesbian Wedding

Friends 2×11

Carol: I've got some news. It's about us.
Ross: Oh, you and me?
Carol: Uh, no. Susan and me. The other "us. "
Ross: Okay...
Carol: We're getting married.
Ross: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?

Monica: You're really not going?
Ross: I'm really not. They already live together. Why do they need to get married?
Monica: They love each other. They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them.
Ross: If you wanna call that a reason.

Chandler: I thought you were over this.
Ross: That has nothing to do with it. If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go.
Chandler: If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever.

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Chandler: I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
Ross: No, that's me.
Chandler: Oh, right.

Phoebe: One of my clients died on the massage table today.
Chandler: Oh, my God. That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.

Phoebe: It's just so strange. You know... she probably woke up this morning and thought... I'll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage. Little did she know God thought, "Okay, but that's it. "

Monica: I planned really well. I planned and planned. I just didn't plan enough time to do it.

Joey: It just seems so futile. You know? All these women, and nothing! I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Chandler: Well, now you understand how I feel every single day. The world is my lesbian wedding.

Chandler: Look, penis, schmenis! Okay? We're all people.

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